He told me it's none of my business if he talks to other girls?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks and all I texted him was I the only one he was seeing. I didn't mean it as anything bad or I wasn't being pushy, I just saw he follows random girls on insta so I thought maybe I wasn't the only one. Even if he said he was seeing someone else it wouldn't have really been an issue because we haven't discussed what we are. So he sent me a big message saying in this time it's none of my business who he follows or what girls he speaks too at this time.

I am really hurt by his message because I honestly wasn't being pushy I just wanted to ask. We've started sleeping together so I thought it was moving towards something, I said sorry and he told me not to worry about. But tbh now I feel like crap and no one has ever been that mean to me I suppose. And in didn't mean it the way he thinks I did I suppose I didn't think.

Did I have a right to ask him or should I have kept my mouth shut? We were getting on so well and now I feel like it's ruined.

Updates

+1 y

He did tell me I was the only one he was seeing but he still said it not my business.

[Esplorare]

That's disrespectful and very rude. Contrary to his sense of entitlement, it IS your business because you have a right to make an informed decision about who you are getting involved with. Lets think big picture: Say you die by the end of the month. How much passion, energy, thought, and effort did this one person get within your last month of life? An amount that you'd feel he wasn't worthy of if he was talking to other girls? Shouldn't you have a right to know exactly what type of individual you are spending your time on? Maybe you're not interested in dating a guy who's mouth may be on some other female's pussy days before you see him and kiss him. Maybe you don't like the idea of being compared to another woman like your dating experience is some sick, narcissistic competition for a guy to enjoy.

I don't believe you had any reason to be sorry and that whole interaction gives me a weird vibe like he was trying to assert his dominance over you. You shouldn't have to "keep your mouth shut" if you have an open, genuine connection where you two can keep it real. His defensive tone suggests that he is doing some shady shit behind your back. His tone was all off. His message was rude, dismissive, and completely inconsiderate of your feelings. He showed zero courtesy or tact for how you may feel. That's disgusting. Aim for more respectful, honorable men or you will always be disappointed, love. Cut him off.

[Esplorare]

@Asker Don't ever bow your head down and say sorry to someone who disrespects you and speaks to you like that! My response would have been, "Actually, it is my business because I deserve to make an informed decision about who I'm getting involved with. Maybe I don't want any part of your triplin lifestyle." Or at least spark a discussion about how he formed that opinion and why he thinks it's not your business to know if his mouth is on another girl's vagina days before you two hang out. -_-

[Asker]

Yeah I didn't expect his reaction because I genuinely thought we were friends first so I could ask him. I think it's best if I leave him alone it's obvious were both looking for different things now,

[Esplorare]

@Asker smdh so rude! If you guys were really friends, then there wouldn't be a problem being completely open, honest, and direct. You should be able to have an honest conversation about something like that. There are better men, girl! Go find one and leave his azz behind lol

thanks for mho tbw

[MargaritaPeach]

My advice would be to start seeing other people if the opportunity comes up. If he asks about it, tell him that at this point, it's none of his concern. And I definitely would think twice about sleeping with him. He obviously cares more about his freedom and his social life than he does your feelings. Is that really someone you want to risk getting pregnant by? Because whether you are using protection or not, that's a very real concern every time you sleep with someone. Choose your partners wisely.

[Anonymous]

wake up call.
You do have a right to ask. but you should of dtr before sex. But he's letting it go and so should YOU :)

[Asker]

Thanks I've been sitting here crying because I felt so stupid for asking.

[Opinion Owner]

Its okay i'd give you a hug if I could

[Opinion Owner]

you need to dtr soon on your update if he says its none of your buisness that means he got what he wanted and is not respecting you

[chrisbigman]

It's definitely rude to get so upset like that. If anything, that could indicate that he's defensive about something he's trying to hide ("seeing" other girls). I guess he's a little sensitive. However, you need to be clear with the guy that you date (or are talking to) of whether you are dating them or not. Otherwise, it's not exactly your business. But that still doesn't mean he needs to be rude about it. If you are dating, then it is your business. If you're not, then it's not.

[Bobba_Fett]

If you're boning its definitely your business who he's talking to.
If he's up in some skank, you definitely don't want that bitches STDs and are entitled to make a knowledgeable decision about those sorts of things.

Moreover if he's gonna be that mean to you at week 3 what do you think he's gonna be like at week 6?

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking maybe sleeping with him wasn't the best idea now but I thought he was a nice guy like boyfriend material. So I'm a bit upset at his reaction,

[Bobba_Fett]

You got a player. Don't keep making the same mistake. You deserve someone who's open and honest. If not loyal.

[Lolalunamuna]

Answer is right find somebody who treats you with respect

[LolaB167]

If you are dating it is your business. I say it isn't worth it. You have to be careful with who you sleep with. Maybe it was a little too soon. Who am I to judge though. I slept with a guy too soon, and we been had been sleeping with each other for a year. Eventually we dated, and we had some of the sweetest nights together. I felt so safe with him. Never felt like that before. I had other relationships, but jeesh. At times he disrespected me, but because I loved him I disregarded it. I found out he was with someone else, and talking to others. It ruined me. I saw potential. Ig, he didn't. I wasted a year. Oh well, it is what is. However, he seems really disrespectful. You don't need to keep that kind of company. If he doesn't respect you now he never will. That is the simple truth. It sounds toxic, and you should while you have the chance get out of there. Get out of there before you allow yourself to get more invested. You don't want to end up like me. I fell. You don't have to.

[Kaylovet]

@LolaB167 wow :( how did you end up finding out? Im scared i might be in the same situation just bc the guy i am seeing doesn't have me on any social media so im skeptical

[LolaB167]

@Kaylovet I found out, because the other girl inboxed me on fb. Also, as women we know. I felt like there was something going on. I would just advise you to keep your eyes open. Look out for subtle signs. Like the communication pattern, and etc. It sucks. I think about it a lot, but i know that eventually all will be well. Deep down inside, a woman truly knows. If you feel it, then something is up.

[TripleAce]

It was a little rude. He could of been kinder about it but he's not wrong at this point. Too many couples like to control who one talks to and doesn't.

[Asker]

But I wasn't even trying to control him. It was just a question I knew we weren't a couple.

[TripleAce]

Yea you weent but its just a jerk reactions to prevent things like that I guess. Maybe that's why it comes out more rude then it should

Nevertheless, just keep a positive attitude and it will wash off soon enough

[akadatank44]

You have a right and by his response he is probably seeing other girls. Sorry hun.

[Daynada]

Yeah Hun, he's a dick 😒 sorry

[akadatank44]

@Daynada you mean to have your own opinion or are you agreeing with me for once! 😜

[Daynada]

@akadatank44 I am agreeing with you. I didn't realize that I haven't agreed with you lately 🤔

[akadatank44]

@Daynada I was only teasing you haha 😋

[Daynada]

Oh ok ☺️

[ArtDent]

Dude says his life is none of your business, then your life is none of his concern. CYA

[Anonymous]

Even as a guy I say don't put up with that s*it if you're having sex u have a right to know where u stand. It was a simple question he didn't have to be such a jerk about it.

[Sallymhansann]

His an d*ck in my opinion and you dedo have the right to ask since you're sleeping together. Relationship or not.

[Eternallylucky]

Looks like you are just one of his play thing at the moment. It would be good to cease all contact with him!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he thought that you where pushing for a relationship and he started to panic. But tbh it was a simple question and he acted a bit mean. I think you should find somebody you will treat you right. Snapping off a girls head it's not the act of gentleman.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

only in 2016 will following or friending people on social media be equated to seeing other people...

[Anonymous]

You done nothing wrong and maybe he did have a reaction cause he felt pressured. He was still I'm the wrong and shouldn't of been so rude about it. You had a right to ask this question especially if you are sleeping together.

[Anonymous]

hahaha spme nice guy you got. women dont have discretion for shit. wel thats what your natural aversion to nice guys does.