How often does a man reach out to his fuck-buddy?

[Anonymous]

How often does a man reach out to his fuck-buddy? There's this guy who I have started having sex with. (I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He's fine with that.) So we started to have sex and he was my first time. A couple times he has gone a week or two without needing to see me again. I'm generally a confident girl and feel like I make things very fun in the bedroom, but this guy kind of makes me think, "If he had fun with me, why would he wait a week or two to hang out again? Did he not have fun or?" In my mind, I want to see him every week, so it doesn't make sense why he wouldn't want to either. I even texted him tonite saying hey and he didn't reply. Does this mean anything? Should I not be taking this personally? No, I don't have feelings but I would like to know if based on bim not wanting to see me more often, maybe he doesn't have that much fun with me? Men, please tell me any input! :) Thank you guys!

[raio81597]

I totally agree with Victorianne, eventually if you continue down this path being female you will develop an attachment to this guy, your self esteem will diminish or may be low right now. You mentioned want to be fun or pleasing the guy, however as much as I can see he's not into pleasing you emotionally, he will continue to see you when he wants not necessarily any other time and it has nothing to do with being pleased or not with your performance. Guys see sex usually as something to do, it's more accomplishment based not emotional. If he was a woman he'd use the I'm pleased with your performance, and come back more often, but that is not why he does what he does. I personally don't do casual sex or one night stands, some guys do. I prefer commitment, but I don't get into a committed relationship just for sex, I do it because I like the woman as a whole. If you would rather have a relationship, then find a guy for that, if you think you can handle guys just using you for sex then do that but it has consequences.

[raio81597]

Thank you for MHO!! :)

[Joc4Position]

It depends. I've text chicks who said they want to hook up and we'd talk for a while. Then one day I text them and they don't text back at all. Then some we text some then like they won't say shit for a while then I'll text them and they'll respond. Other ones we'll text a little bit daily. Some people are hella busy. One chick I didn't text for a week or two and then I texted like every day. It all depends.

[Victorianne]

I've never had a fuckbuddy , coz I'm only interested in a mutual committed relationship. Everyone looks for different things though

I'd assume you weren't the only girl he's having sex with. If they aren't available when he's horny he'll probably then turn to you. There's usually a price to pay when you have a fuckbuddy. You will never feel special to him , and a lot of people find it costs them their self-esteem and confidence. Maybe having a fuckbuddy doesn't work for you after all.

[Joc4Position]

I don't know. I've always been promiscuous and I'm fine.

[Victorianne]

@Joc4Position

That's your preference and this is mine. We all have our own deal-breakers and preferences

[Joc4Position]

I'm not questioning your preference. I'm saying am I supposed to have low self-esteem and confidence?

[Victorianne]

@Joc4Position

That's you though. I've spoken to a lot of women who stated they were ok with having a fuckbuddy at first but over time it lowered their self-esteem and confidence.

[Joc4Position]

Maybe it'll happen to me over time? I don't feel like I had a choice totally given the harassment people gave me when I was younger.

[Victorianne]

@Joc4Position

I don't understand what you mean?

[Joc4Position]

People pressured me to have a girlfriend to the point of peer pressure and harassment... now I don't want one.

[Victorianne]

@Joc4Position


Yeah, I understand. Maybe you will when you are ready. A few girls I know didn't want a committed relationship, so they had a friends with benefits, but they realised that it didn't work for them, although it does for some people. It works for some but not others

[Victorianne]

Thanks for the MHO

[DianeDuffus]

I have a twice a week fuck buddy. I don't know where to find the actual normal statistics. Try the New York Times classified

[rjroy3]

He's either not as attracted to you as you are to hin,
Thinks you are getting to close or fears you might if he sees you too often, or is busy with life/possibly other girls.

Next time you hookup you can just say you want to make it a weekly thing

[Twolips]

Often