Why would a guy like having girls sleep over in his apartment (2nd bedroom) but no sex? He doesn't initiate sex?

[cutiegirlygirl]

I just don't understand what's the point of a guy having mostly female friends whom he has stay overnight in his second bedroom to sleepover (with no sex). This is a male friend who claims he prefers female friends (I'm one of them) and he has told me how he has these other female friends stay over in his second bedroom. I didn't really buy this concept. I'm mean what is the point of having a female stay over and you don't want to have sex with her? Really? Why? I stayed overnight too. Basically I showered (without him). I wore one of his shirts to sleep in and the next day spent most of the day with him. The day ended with him treating me to dinner. I feel like I've been tricked into something with him alone but I can't figure out what I am, like I'm his "for show, pretend girlfriend". It feels like some super slow seduction has been going on for months. I have found myself spending more and more time with him the longer I know him. I just realized I had spend 5 days in row with him and only him. We had come back from driving to a conference a week ago. While on the trip we were in separate hotel rooms, but he offered to give me his extra room key lf I wanted to "hang out" in his room. I didn't. On the drive back home, he decided "we" needed to tour a tourist town, he wanted to treat me to dinner and paid for some gifts for me and then he drove me back to his apartment and said I could stay the night in his second bedroom. The first thing he said to me once we were in his apartment is that I should take a shower. I did. But nothing happened OK. But he did take his shirt off and walked around his bedroom. The next morning he was in his bedroom in his underwear and asked me to help him pick out an outfit. What I found odd and funny is this all felt like some preplanned seduction on his part expecting me to do something (to him). But I don't do anything because he also "claims" he not attracted to me. What is this guy doing? What does he want from me? To jump him?

[pnl86]

Very interesting question and post.

A friend of mine from college is now an audit manager at one of the Big 4. He's physically very fit, but he doesn't have a very attractive face. So, he's historically had trouble with girls. Because we're close, he let me in on a very interesting use he makes of escorts. He hires them for 8+ hours, sometimes, from Friday night and over the weekend, just to do what their name suggests - "escort" him - that's it. He makes it clear up-front, "no sex of any kind." He ends up paying between $3-6k for what's basically 2.5 days (with almost half of that spent sleeping).

So, naturally, you'd like to know "why" he would do something crazy like that. His reasoning is, "word gets around." Word organically gets around that he's "dating" this "gorgeous" hyper sexual girl, and she came with him to the Poconos or Lake George, etc. over the weekend. Before you know it, when a girl that's a 7-9/10 enters his social circle of friends, compared to the 10/10 she hears about, she feels a little "lacking." "Now," all of a sudden, he's become this valuable source of approval and validation this new girl seeks, and "fucking him" (because he's not going to just show his signs of sexual interest) turns into a mission.

On the other hand, I used to do something similar to what you're describing. I used to relish in having girls cross certain lines and put themselves in situations they normally wouldn't voluntarily put themselves in with someone who was "just a friend," or "a guy they didn't want to have sex with."

Why would I have sex with the girl, when I can just relish in her "wanting" me any "trying" to get me to make a move on her instead? The latter was (and still is) much more satisfying (I think especially as you get older). It's sort of like being a male version of a cocktease in a way. Just drown her in ambiguity and vagueness, and hide behind the "we're just friends" veil. I don't know, I just like to see girls sexually frustrated and to know that I'm the reason for that. Plus, the added bonus is, "it's not cheating" if all you're doing is enjoying other girls wanting you (but not actually doing anything physical with them, or crossing certain verbal sexual lines). So, I get this guy (if that's the case).

A third possibility is that he's just extremely shy.

[ak666]

Jumping him might work.

I'm reminded of a time a girl I was dating claimed she got in a fight with her friend and needed a place to stay. I offered her my apartment.

Then I offered her my bed while I slept on the floor.

In the middle of the night, she crawled down to me and snuggled and asked, "Why didn't you have sex with me?"

And I was like, "Wait, what? That's okay? I didn't know you were up for it. Awesome, let's go! I like to do sex with girls -- it's like one of my favorite hobbies!"

Then we did sex.

So maybe if you tried something like that, it might work.

[ak666]

Neither of us had a condom at the time though so we just did it bareback. In retrospect that was probably a pretty bad idea and especially with that girl, but got away safely. Might be a good idea to bring some since he might not be planning it and not have any.

[justagirl5]

I slept in my guy friends bed before and he slept on the couch. We also both slept in the living room once cause we fell asleep while watching a movie. He's confused but thinks he's gay so maybe the guy is gay... a lot of gays prefer women as friends.

[takumii]

Lol, what are you guys? If friends why do you expect him to make a move on you? And if he doesn't he's made it pretty clear he doesn't like you that way or either he has made moves but you were oblivious to them?

[anonman32]

if you are just friends then its normal there is no sex. also why must the man always initiate? why dont you initiate sometimes?

[ice_vampire]

You guys are just friends and nothing more so what were you expecting?