GUYS HE CALLED ME PAL?

Question

So this guy and I have been friends for about 3 years now (highschool) and we see each other about 2 times a week for 2 hours. He never initiates contact by texting first or asking me to hang out but whenever I say something about hanging out he always jumps at the opportunity and when I asked what he wanted to do once he wanted to drive us up in the middle of the night to look at stars in the mountains (his idea) and he touches me sometimes and flirts and it seems like he is interested in me but then he never texts or asks me to hang out so I just kinda assume that he isn't interested in being more than friends. We have deep conversations and he always asks me questions about my interests, etc. Also he has made jokes about us hooking up and he has pointed out other couples and how cute they are. Our parents are good friends and we are super close. And then we were texting and he sent me the text "Thanks pal". I mean he is a little awkward sometimes but I am too and I know when to recognize being friendzoned. Am I right or wrong? Should I give up on having a relationship with him? Please explain a little. Thanks.

mwin2030 · Accepted Answer

Consider this. He’s comfortable with you. He likes to hang out with you, go look at the stars and have deep, meaningful conversations with you, but he only does this when you make the offer. I’ve witnessed such behavior in other males and in general, and I’m not saying this is always the case, but in general it could be a sign that he’s a submissive male, and once you make the initial contact, letting him know you’d like to get together, he jumps right on it immediately to adhere to your desire.

He wants you to be happy, he likes joking with you, making you smile I would hazard a guess, and he’s constantly asking you about your interests, because he wants to know as much about you as possible in order to better cater to your desires, and the best way for him to know this is to know your likes and dislikes as intimately and personal as possible.

It might not even be the case he wants to be romantically involved with you, though I can take a guess from experience to suggest if you did make such an offer, boldly and directly to him, he probably would not turn you down, but you’ll be the dominant one in the relationship---the aggressor.

Watch his body language for clues to his intentions. Does he stand close to you when you’re together or sit close to you; getting into your personal space? When you suggest something that you like does it reciprocate and let you know he also enjoys such or would like to do such with you together. When you offer to spend time together, he never makes an excuse as to why he can’t get together or hang out with you, but instead he’s ready to drop everything to get to your side.

If you are witnessing these aspects to his nature in his relationship with you, then these are HUGE signs to his intentions. And if you do start paying closer attention to these items and see him doing them, it might not be a good idea to confront him about them directly as he would embarrass him, he’d feel very self-conscious of himself and more than likely would not be able to look you directly in the eyes, but would want to look away and shift from one foot to the other.

MasterHiruki · Accepted Answer

He calls you pal because maybe its his style i personally find it kind of dorky and prefer mate or something similar. He is defiantly interested but he is worried (as he should be) of ruining his friendship with you. So he is throwing out hints hoping you will make the first move. He was probably had little trouble talking before he was interested right?
So in order to not make himself appear too forward and not say something stupid he dosn't initiate until you do. So to cut the bs you need to make clear you are into him. Maybe even say it outright then even he can't missunderstand. If you don't want to be the one who makes the first move wait until a moment where everything is going really well and move closer to him, hold is eyes. Hopefully he takes the hint and he kisses you, Your already ready technically 'dating' since you hang out alone so you just need to escalate. The longer you leave it the harder its going to be to make a move and eventually the tension is going to ruin your friendship because you both won't be able to be around eachother.

Maypai · Accepted Answer

My crush calls me buddy, man, dude. But he acts like he likes me. Sometimes I don't know. Though I have heard from guys that these words don't mean that they don't like you.

This other guy that likes me calls me pal, kid, kiddo and stuff like that. I don't like him back so I don't mind, but it's still like... doood. No.

deraz24 · Accepted Answer

He could've been using it sarcastically to go with whatever y'all were talking ab bc you were being a good friend atm. It seems like he likes you but whenever y'all are chilling together casually see what he thinks ab being in a relationship in general or get on the topic of relationships and see where he goes with it

Xleah18x · Accepted Answer

Maybe he just Called you pall as a cover up since he likes you I mean personally if I really like a guy and if he finds out I like him but I'm not too sure if he likes me back I'll call him buddy, pal... etc as a cover up because I wouldn't wanna ruin the friendship if he doesn't feel the same

Queen_KZ · Accepted Answer

Reminds me of my best friend. He does stuff like that too but I know he doesn't like me like that. Cuz we talked about that too lol

Maybe you should drop hints next time he starts pointing out couples and ask him about it

lualesca · Answer

You don't look at the stars with a friend.

He seems awkward honestly, and the fact he doesn't text you or initiates contact is a clear sign of lack of interest in you, maybe he is just playing video games at home, or maybe he is with his buddies.
Maybe he is the guy who wants a relationship but he doesn't know how to start one, or act in a relationship, so he only acts clingy while he is with you. Basically his behavior is really inconstant.
Maybe he is just going hot and cold. Please watch this video, and see if it applies to your case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iFlVQxffmo

You gotta give it a shot "hey pal (joking, don't call him pal), i like to spend time with you, however i have noticed that you are acting hot and cold with me, when you are with me, you are super sweet with me, but when you are not with me, it's like a just don't exist, is there something that i have done to make you act like that? Or is something else in your life? I don't like that you treat me this way, hot and cold, let's talk it out please. "

nickbrick · Answer

Honestly, it sounds like he thinks of you as a friend. However, when he is with you he is thinking with his dick and not his brain (sorry for the language). Effectively, when he is with you he wants to flirt and touch our occasionally, if you snuggled up against him, he would probably snuggle back. But in general he doesn't want a relationship. Think of it this way, he thinks you are attractive and wants to spend time with you. If you went out of your way to ask him on a date he would probably say yes. However, he doesn't want a relationship enough to actually start anything. It's either what I just said or he is just nervous but my gut tells me it's the precious one.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It sounds as if you are a bit shy but he is much more shy and awkward. You want to push him into being more than a friend but you don't want to look like you are being pushy.

Tell him that you need to have a serious conversation. "I'm ready to have a boyfriend. I really want to have a boyfriend. And I know exactly what I'm looking for. He's about 5" 9" tall [or however tall Mr. X is,] he had brown hair [or whatever hair color Mr. X has,] he's smart and funny and serious and he's somebody who would be a lot like you. If you wanted to be my boyfriend, I would be extremely flattered and happy, but I have the idea that you aren't interested in that, so do you know anybody who you think might be a good match for me?"

If he doesn't respond to that, he is brain dead, likes boys, or otherwise simply a lost cause.

TrickThate · Answer

I think you should give up on having a relationship with him. Based on what you described, he doesn't seem to respect you as much as he should, even for a friend.

1) If he's that inconsistent with texting when you're both single, that behavior won't easily change when you're together. By that point, you'll be way more invested in his lack of response, and that'll take a toll on your emotional health.

2) You say that he's friend-zoned you and yet he flirts with you. Guys who consistently flirt with you when the opportunity presents itself but don't invest any extra energy in trying to keep you around when it's well within their ability have a limited interest in you...

I WANT to be able to say that maybe he's just shy about reaching out to you. But if he's confident enough to be able to make jokes in person about you two hooking up, then he's not too shy to text you first once in a while.

Mindset · Answer

Based on what you said he's most likely interested in you. But maybe* he's a little bit dubious and ambivalent. He might have his own reasons for his ambivalence (1- because he doesn't think like adults. Adults are usually serious about relationships and they wouldn't hide their feelings that much. 2- Maybe because your parents are good friends and as one of the gentlemen here said " he doesn't want to mess up 3- other reasons ). He enjoys your invitations but still, unlike you, doesn't want to be the one who unveils their real feelings for you (this might be because he's weird and has his own idiosyncrasies).

Anonymous · Answer

hey you asked for me to answer.

This guy obviously likes you and is interested in you romantically. If I wanted to only have sex with a girl, I wouldn't drive her up to watch the stars nor would I care too much about having deep conversations to open up to her because it makes me vulnerable.

He might be wondering whether or not he wants to date you, but if he touches you I almost guarantee he wants to have sex. Just because he called you pal doesn't mean you are friendzoned, it depends on the context really. But based on what you said, he is definitely interested in you.

yvngpvnk · Answer

There is no way he isn't interested in you. I feel like he just doesn't want to commit to anything serious. There might be other girls he is interested in, and doesn't want to be committed or ruin a friendship with you, especially if you two get a little bit intimate. Plus he can fall back to you if other things don't work out. I guess that is "the friendzone".
Really it's up to you to decide if you want to stick with him or go for someone else. Bring it up with him if it really means something to you.
Have you talked to him about other guys?

brain5000 · Answer

The best advice, which is incredibly difficult to follow (especially for me), is to just be in the moment and look for opportunities. Find subtle ways to make it known you're attracted to him and open to a deeper relationship, but don't force the issue.

Now, having offered that advice, again, feelings are hard to control and I know better than anyone that great advice is VERY hard to follow. I wish you the best of luck, though!!

JuicyBrain · Answer

I think he is waiting for validation from you. He has shown you he is interested and he is waiting to see if you'll make a move. He doesn't want to lose you as a friend so he is not pushing too hard.

Streamhopper · Answer

Just ask him. You'll get your answer. We're always so scared to just go to the source, when the source is the only one who knows the answer. Yep, you're taking a risk, but isn't it worth it to know for certain where you stand? To not have to wonder every day what's going on? I know I'd want to know.

lightbulb27 · Answer

he's just not very ready to date and doesn't understand girls. He may not be interested in anyone yet or know how to go about it. I was like that to some degree. he may be passive... or passive aggressive (not a good thing).

I'd be direct with him asking or telling him you would welcome him contacting you if he wants to do things, is that something he'd like to do?

you can show interest by touching lighty on arm, snuggling, etc.. watch for his body language response.

Shivay · Answer

lol.. you just tell him that you got a proposal from someone but you are confused answer because you like someone else.. than just observe his reaction on that...
I personally think that he really loves you but something is stopping him.. may be he's afraid to lose you..

John83 · Answer

It sounds like he's giving you hints he's interested, but is looking for more of an indication that you're interested in him before he'll make the next move. I think the fact he immediately agrees every time you suggest hanging out would tell me he's interested in you.

reptocarl · Answer

Look. Never assume he knows how you feel I don't care if he walks in and sees you with your legs spread and your finger pointing to your pussy. We only understand words. He's just as afraid of rejection as you. You need to take the chance and tell him how you feel about him. If you do nothing you'll wonder what if for the rest of your life and it'll kill you. I speak from experience

ShortCircuit · Answer

*facepalm*
Guys don't invite their friends to stargaze in the mountains. Granted, I can't tell you whether he wants a relationship or just sex, but his feelings are certainly not platonic. I guarantee you that.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think he is shy or nervous about taking things to the next level. perhaps if you feel confident about doing it you could just find a way to broach a conversation about your relationship and how you guys feel about each other

slatyb · Answer

Have you seen him actually date anyone else? Could he be gay? If the answers are no and no, then don't give up. He may be one of those guys who have so little confidence that it never occurs to them that a woman would be interested in a romantic relationship. I think he's crazy about you but doesn't know what to do. You are going to have to either ask him directly if he's romantically interested in you, or you are just going to have to make a move.

Blitzkrieger · Answer

I think he is a little shy and he doesn't know you like im that way. Id say touch him more and get closer together. Also let him know its ok for him to initiate hanging out with you too.

UsernameCreated · Answer

Hmm... I'd say he's interested but too shy/scared to make the moves and progress any further in fear that you'll stop talking to him. If I were you, I'd try and sneak the topic of you two dating into one of the deep convo's. And if he's dodging the hints, be blunt. In my humble opinion.

CyberToothTiger · Answer

Some guys don't initiate first contact but i would be doing little bit more to let you know i was interested if i was the guy , I think he seems to be lacking a little bit
so maybe you need to just give him a few text message telling him you wish
he would let you know if he wants more than friendship with you.

Browneye57 · Answer

Sounds like too young to know what he wants or what to do.
Or he just thinks of you as a pal or buddy. Sometimes guys just aren't ready to be men 'till they really are. And why a lot of young women find it more satisfying to date older men. They are more mature and know how to be a man. They know what they want, and if they're interested in a woman it's because they want to bed her. Otherwise, what's the point?
If that's not what you want then chum around with your pally teeny-bops.

Heemus_Christ · Answer

I'm mean be aggressive. its seems like he like and don't believe in the friend zone because I have females call best friend ( like I'm a gay dude, jokingly, because I'm nowhere close to a gay dude) and we hooking up a week later. that may not be your case but you just got to say something.

Red88xxx · Answer

He's probably just shy because he probably doesn't know you want to be more than friends maybe give him a sign that you might want more than that. Thank you for the invite (:

BMN2016 · Answer

Ask why he jokes about you guys hooking up. Put the spotlight on the subject.  Then when he asks why, say, "Just curious. Sometimes you sound serious but it's like you're too shy to really ask"

StickStickity13 · Answer

You two are putting each other in the friendzone because you're both afraid

pshi25 · Answer

jokes are often used to mask true feelings an desires. if he jokes about you two being together you should really have a serious talk about it with him.

ChocEyes1 · Answer

Although it's expected that guys that are interested will iniciate contact, many won't for many reasons. The point is you can't tell if he's interested or not just from the fact he doesn't initiate

MadeInAmerica · Answer

He just seems really laid back. I think you should be more assertive and do more flirting and touching yourself so he see you are interested.

halfasleep · Answer

He seems a bit xonfused about what he wants if anything. If he doesn't show his true intentions just move on I guess.

Just_A_Random_Guy · Answer

He seems interested in you. I call the girl I like "Pal" all the time. She thinks its cute. Just go with it, and everything will turn out OK. But if he starts acting stranger than he normally does, ask him whats wrong.

reality_man94 · Answer

ask him if he really would consider being more than friends with all jokes aside and then go from there.

Maxemeister · Answer

I'm guessing he's really shy and doesn't want to make a move, or can't. Hey pal was sort of a playful thing to say.

its_gotta_ring_to_it · Answer

if he's a nice and close as he sounds he may just be a little hesitant on pushing things between y'all because he doesn't want to ruin how close you guys are.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

he may just be having a hard time making a move and is trying to act ”normal”

redxiii74 · Answer

he is trying to build a friends with benefits situation.. next will be oral sex

The_awkward_bunny · Answer

Don't overthink it. Just go and tell him your feelings.

TheUltimateSucc · Answer

Just talk to him. Then you will know without a doubt. If you two are close you should be able to talk about it.

srglamboo · Answer

I don't think he has friendzoned you I think he might just be shy. He seems to be kind of into you

Walrus_au · Answer

While it sounds like your assessment of reaching the friend-zone may be true - that doesn't mean pursuing a relationship is a waste of time necessarily.

ColinHarvey · Answer

He masturbates too much. Why put the effort in to hang out or text you when he can watch porn. Swear to god sex robots are going to be the end of humanity. You're going to have to move on him.

countrydude · Answer

Seems he genuinely wants to spend time with you. And watching stars together is pretty intimate. He may be too shy to actually tell you he likes you.

ASEXY · Answer

I think that guy is trying to drop hints that he likes you. You could drop hints back.

DudeManBro_20 · Answer

If you like him you should tell him how you feel before giving up

Centurion20000 · Answer

He's into you but not at much as you want. I don't think you are being friendzoned I think he wants you to make the first move.

upforanything84 · Answer

I bet he wants to get inside you. ... Just doesn't know how without losing the friendship.

Wingedz · Answer

He might be taking you like his sister? and It seems like he is interested but not ready for it yet.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

You could keep trying, but he probably sees you as a sister, if you grew up together (parents being very good friends)

Anonymous · Answer

Hello @wowimsoconfused99
Drop hints that you like him too. "Pal" isn't a sign of being friend-zoned ( "sis" is sis-zoned by the way :P ). Pal is just an affectionate term. Don't worry. I guess he's just shy.
Don't give up.

cookieman12 · Answer

He might not know that he's acting flirty. I know a girl who acts the same to me. She'll act like as if we are dating yet still consider me just her best friend.

LastNightmare · Answer

you're freaking out dear.. chill out.. it's nothing big deal for guys..

Giacomanzo · Answer

Try making the first move. He might just be shy about asking you out.

Blade222 · Answer

Did he flirt with you after he called you pal?

ADFSDF1996 · Answer

He is giving you hints that he likes you.

Erikthecoolman12 · Answer

Yo I don't anetiate any conversation with the girl who I like she makes me nervous

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like you were friend zoned

Luci92 · Answer

Life's too short, tell him how you feel.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Tell him how you feel.

Mrwoo99 · Answer

Your his 'Personal Ass Licker'

NYkid27 · Answer

It sounds like he isn't interested in you

GUYS HE CALLED ME PAL?

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