Why are guys so vulgar?

[lovelyhoneybones]

Majority of the guys I have met, despite their age, are very nasty. All they do is talk about sex and if not sex, then something childish and immature. And it isn't just a few guys that I know, it's just about every last one of them. Even if at first they don't seem to be that way, when you get to know them, they are.

Why is this?

It's very hard to find someone attractive when all they do is talk about and do repulsive things.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you that most guys are like that. Some are vulgar all of the time and almost all are a little bit that way. I'll admit I have my moments. I agree that guys are also on their best behavior as they first get to know you. A close female friend says we are all 12. If something was funny when we were 12, it will always be funny and we don't grow out of it.

I'm not sure why it's like that. I could just as easily turn it around and ask with exasperation why the vast majority of women can't bring themselves to laugh at a good fart joke, for example. While the guys are cracking up, the women are shaking their heads, saying, "It's just a bodily function." To which I could respond, "Yeah, it is. So why can't you laugh along?"

Personally, I go out of my way to try to curb this sort of thing in mixed company. Making the people around me laugh, especially women, takes a bit more clever observation and wit, and that's precisely why I'd say I even prefer the company of female friends and also may be why I bore when I have too much contact with my guy friends. But do you think this quality which you've labeled immaturity may be exactly what you *do* like about men when it's channeled into more positive outlets such as lightheartedness and playful humor? Could it actually serve to keep you youthful, from being too staid and humorless?

[lovelyhoneybones]

Hm. I like your prospective on this topic. I don't mind humor but sometimes with males it just gets too over the top and it's a big turn off. I guess it's the way you look at it.

[Opinion Owner]

As you get older--I'll assume, if your age and country is correct, that you'll be done with high school in a few months or maybe this time next year--you'll find guys do get somewhat better. Especially if you're headed to college, an education usually makes a difference. At least we'll use our expanded vocabularies when when we engage in blue humor. And, for now, you also might do well to hang out with brainier guys in general.

Thanks for your reply. :-)

[WhiteCrow]

Let me educate you about something. One thing about guys is -we think about sex a lot, really A LOT. If you are at least somewhat attractive, around you they will think more and more about sex. The other thing about guys is most are rather crude and lacking in the grace and fineness department. They don't know a better way of expressing their emotions so they start talking about sex - the ultimate goal. A guy with grace and style would express his emotions with more subtle and fine words, never directly speaking about sex, someone like me who is a skilled elocutionist would make you want to bring up sex, and make you think it was your idea. But the base principle doesn't change, the ultimate goal the recurring theme is still sex, just clad in silk and gold. As Giovanni Boccaccio said - everything is acceptable if you present it the right way.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Which sex isn't the problem, I know it's natural, the issue is just how they come across and HOW many times it comes across. I agree with that saying though.

[WhiteCrow]

That's exactly my point, either find a guy who is graceful and subtle, or learn to cope with crude primal ones

[kitty71]

Men are like that mosts men and yes it is tiring My cousin and his best friend are like taht childish and immature when it comes to see pretty women and they are full grown up guys in his mid 40´s!! My cousin sister one of these days acknowledge that and she said she hates when her brother and his friend they only think about sex, nice bodies and women when they see a pretty girl or talk about girls and she said they look like high schoolers and not men in their mid 40´s!!

[Anonymous]

I agree with your observation and experience. Same is mine.
Probably guys can't control themselves and wish to express their desire sooner than later. Some guys also have misconception that we girls like such talk. Most of the guys have sex in mind which compels them to show it in any case.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for selecting me MHG.

[Hidden_P]

Firstly not all men are like this. It can be a sign of lack of maturity (given your age I will bet for most it's lack of maturity).

Secondly, I think you might be suffering from a touch of "lack of men". Can I ask - do you have any brothers or live with a lot of men at home?

[lovelyhoneybones]

I know that it isn't all men, that's why I said majority of the males that I have met act this way, despite their ages. I have met guys who are a lot older than me and still they act this way.

Secondly, yes. I know a lot of males. I grew up with four out of my six MALES cousins and their MALE friends. Not only that, but I have a brother and quite a few male friends.

[Hidden_P]

Growing up with cousins isn't quite the same. They go home at the end of the day. Just like male friends too.

I hate to step on your expertise but I grew up with 4 brothers and my mum left in my early teenage years. My only surviving grandparent was male who I cared for from teenage and cared for my father from late teenage.

My point is that living with a male full time, especially many, tends to show you characteristics.

Yes. Men are men. They talk about sex. They talk about violence. But you know what else? Sex is also a joking topic. For some women this is very tricky to understand.

Think of it like "corrrr C. Tatum is so fit" and the "humour" is added with vulgarity - "he'd get me so wet I could take a bath afterwards"

You only find it vulgar because it's in a male context "id smash her tits till they looked like a mashed meringue" or whatever. When flipped to a female context it's more relatable to yourself.

Try not to be so easily offended.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Growing up with your cousins is pretty much the same thing. Doing so had an effect on the way that I grew up. I have four sisters yet all of us act more like our male cousins than we do anything else.

I hate to step on your expertise but just because you grew up with four brother doesn't give you more extensive knowledge of all males. Which my question wasn't encompassing of all males.

[Hidden_P]

Did all your cousins have baths with you, fall asleep with you, look after you, sneak into each other's rooms every night?

[Aizou]

You're better off waiting for the right person anyway. The reason for most heart-break and gender hate is due to differing expectations from relationships. A rushed relationship is less likely to work, than a relationship in which both parts accumulate affection over time. Remember, even if humans now have access to many a modern technology, they are, at base, a type of animal/primate; instincts still serve it's purpose for better or for worse. Males of pretty much any species you could across, has his instincts tell him to breed, some guys will just show it more than others.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I do agree with you on that, but I still don't understand why guys have to be VULGAR.

[Aizou]

Because they're used to hang with other guys and don't know how to behave around girls who are raised differently. :)

[kilowatt04]

Ugh, yeah I get it. Vulgar is one thing, I don't mind that so much, but the anti-intellectualism kills me. Like so many guys think dumb is cool/smart, and smart is uncool and stupid.

There are guys out there not like this, though. I know several. Great people. It totally depends on the environment. The dumb/immature/anti-intellectual guys are drawn to each other and tend to concentrate in certain places. Ironically, college campuses is one. Bars is another. So just know where to look (personally I don't. I have met every rational and mature guy I know through others of the same, stemming back to like preschool random chance friendships) It is unfair to judge all men just because there are a lot of dumbasses around. Realize though, that it is due to the way they were encourage to be growing up.

As for me, I'm leaving the gender. It's not for me.

[Chico_brah]

You could of been raised in a very sheltered environment but you're going to have to learn how to not be so delicate. If you don't then you're going to have a hard time with men in general.

People like to correlate being polite and formal all the time with maturity. Those people are boring and have dull personalities. I'm 23 years old. I've been in the military. Soon to graduate university. I have a girlfriend. Financially Independent. I work hard. That's qualifies me as an adult.. no?

I also act like 12 year old and mess around with my friends when it's time I'm not working hard. Learn to laugh at yourself and have a sense of humor boyo. You're 17.. lighten up.

[DinosaurLover]

I rarely talk about the stuff the guys do.
I hate it so much I hate it. All the guys I know except one. One guy. Talks about
sex
racial jokes
Sexual innuendos
Sexual jokes
Racial slurs everywhere
Political crap
Insult people
Be immature and stupid
Make weird noises
Talk bad about the girls I know behind there backs saying how ugly they are and how flat they are and how non of them are perverted but innocent
They talk about outdated and just plain stupid and immature memes and YouTube videos

It's pisses me off so much

[kilowatt04]

I've been in environments where literally every guy but me is exactly like that. It's so frustrating, and makes me have no hope for humanity. On the other hand, currently, I know several other guys who are not like this. Definitely seems to be a minority.

[DinosaurLover]

Yeah the one other guy is cool. So is like me and him vs a lot of dudes. So 2/19/28. there's 2 sweet guys me abs him. 19 buys I. Total and 28 kids in my class. So 9 girls.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Ugh! Don't get me started on racial jokes and slurs. Those make me the most upset. And it's so common to come across.

[DaveDavidson]

Majority of the girls I have met, despite their age, are very boring. All they do is talk about shoes and if not shoes, then something boring and shallow. And it isn't just a few girls that I know, it's just about every last one of them. Even if at first they don't seem to be that way, when you get to know them, they are.

Why is this?

It's very hard to find someone attractive when all they do is talk about and do Channing Tatum.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Haha! I see what you did there.

[notallthere98]

I don't know, but it annoys the hell out of me too. It's probably why I don't have many male friends. I would love to hang out with a guy friend for the day and not have them talk about sex and stuff like that, or at the very least talk about it maturely. I only know like two guys I can be around on a daily basis because they around aren't like that. Or at least they aren't like that around me.

[HyperDude21]

It's called hanging with the wrong crowd. There's plenty of guys out there who don't just talk about sex and act immature all day. They're kinda just hidden around, place to place. You have to get out the bubble you've yet to realize exists around you and you'll more likely find more guys that you're looking for

[MSHRM]

hey girl I am not at all vulgar OK? so let's talk about how many anime you have watched till now, I bet I have watched more than you and yeah do you want spoilers to game of thrones season 7? I bet this was repulsive!!! 😊

[lovelyhoneybones]

Anime is one of the biggest components in males vulgarity. Every male that I know who watches anime are perverted.

[MSHRM]

WTF, how could I lose!!! shit!! I lost this and I watch only shounen so hell no I ain't perverted!!! take that, :p

[MSHRM]

because of you I lost my spotify account :'(

[lovelyhoneybones]

Lmao. Are you crazy? (I'm joking.)

How did I make you lose your spotify account?

[MSHRM]

I didn't lose my spotify account, who told you that?

[lovelyhoneybones]

Hahahaha! You're crazy boy.

[MSHRM]

^_^ Yay! ima crazy yo!

[MSHRM]

and thus the tale of great crazy boy ends with proving the demon girl wrong that all men are not vulgar :)😊

[Pepperjack]

Why are all women act get grossed out by the slightest thing as a bug or act so weak and fragile. See if you just spin this the correct way you can make this whatever way you'd like. Its based on styerotypes, you just need to get out more and meet people instead of talking to the same collective few. If most guys (or all) are like that, deal with it, there's nothing more to say

[Jpl93]

Because men are shallow and only respect women for what they can do for them, and sxt rules in that department. The more willing you are to degrade yourself and push down any ounce of dignity you have, the more valuable you are to them. I honestly think most do not have any true feelings toward women that aren’t objectifying or misogynistic.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Maybe if you stopped only hanging out with the loudest, most attractive and popular guys, you would encounter more diversity.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I hang out with all sorts of guys. Not just popular, good looking ones.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Then were do you women meet these guys? Because the only guys who are vulgar like that are either the best looking ones or the worst looking ones.

[SkelligWolf]

well, men are programed very differently to women, as for the childish and immature behavior, that can't really be explained

[YHL6965]

You're 17 in a fucked up generation. Do you really expect that gentlemen still exist within this generation. They must be as rare as antimatter nowadays.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I'm not asking for gentlemen, I think they're overrated. All I'm saying is... nevermind. Nobody gets what I'm saying other than females.

[YHL6965]

Why are you reacting like that?

[lovelyhoneybones]

I feel everyone is misunderstanding my question.

[YHL6965]

The basic guy is vulgar and you seem surrounded by basic guys. Look somewhere else if you want more educated/fine guys. For most guys, it's often some sort of humor that girls don't like. Most guys still know where to stop being vulgar.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much then.

[YHL6965]

It's mainly a humoristic thing between us and we know most gils don't like that but, hey, I bet girls do things together that most men hate (like shopping :P). Only dumb guys talk vulgarly and expect to seduce women or get respect like that.

[Anonymous]

If you think most people are perverted, you're the outlier not them.

That's fine. You're allowed to be less sexual. It doesn't make you superior to them though (or inferior). Just different.

[Spellfire22]

Guys at my school are not generally like that, thank God.

[blah20]

they're 12. that's all that matters to them at this time.

[Anonymous]

I actually dislike how sexual my female co workers talked where I used to work.
It was at a freaking elementary school where people could over hear sometimes.

I don't think that is gender exclusive.

[skeptic002]

Depends on the guy I have been more aggressive lately it's like a release, being nice does not get the message across

[NajemEddine]

and girls talk while drinking tea at 4.15
get a thick skin or be quiet

[lovelyhoneybones]

That has absolutely nothing to do with having thick skin. I've tried looking past it, but it's so out there.

[NajemEddine]

this very wide generlisation is very ignorant like why girls are very emotional and nagging
why girls talk to much why girls are crazy -_-

[lovelyhoneybones]

Okay, say I know 20 males, out of those 20 males 18 of them are overly sexual, perverted, 98% of their vocabulary are cuss words.

I'm not saying all males are like this, I'm just saying the better part of the males that I've met and personally know, are.

[NajemEddine]

they act like that bc that how they interact
men talk to each other in different language
whats your point than

[lovelyhoneybones]

Why though? It's fine to have a normal conversation without bringing up some perverted nonsense. -_-

[NajemEddine]

no its not its boring
i know how girls talk in their private fb , ig... groupes hhhh

[Ladyslipper]

I have no idea but it definitely gets old. I don't even bother being in relationships anymore.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I'm right at the age where I'm ready to start really dating, but guys make me not want to get into a relationship.

[Boss1]

Wait for the right person

[INsomaniac88]

Sorry to hear that but most people do :) and its common here

[lovelyhoneybones]

Where's here? The UK or GAG?

[INsomaniac88]

GAG :)

[lovelyhoneybones]

I don't talk to much people on GAG.

[INsomaniac88]

Oh Its fine Girl :)

[benrkan]

cause guy's loves the idea of talking these way it makes them feel good about themselves cause if he didn't talk like that he will feel unsecure and if he felt it will be the end of everything to him

[lolwhatsup]

guys will be guys. we are alive to spread the love! (if you know what I mean)

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should look into becoming a lesbian. because that is how we are

[anastasiasgun]

Maybe you should look into becoming gay because no woman wants you

[Opinion Owner]

@anastasiasgun Really? Why is that? You know nothing about me but i know that you dont appreciate males for how they are

[lovelyhoneybones]

Just because a female has an issue with a certain trait about a male, doesn't mean we don't appreciate males in general. Nobody even said that in the first place.

[Opinion Owner]

Just accept it already. You are a lesbian. That is OK with me. Nobody controls what they like sexually or who they are attracted to just accept it and move on.

[pavlove]

@anastasiasgun wth is wrong with you, you psycho. he's just expressing an opinion.

[Ladyslipper]

@pavlove actually he's falsely accusing her of being a lesbian

[Pepperjack]

@Ladyslipper what the fuck are you on m8 he said she should consider looking into having relationships with other women, thats twisting his words.

[Ladyslipper]

@Pepperjack look again you raging retard "Just accept it already. You are a lesbian. That is OK with me. Nobody controls what they like sexually or who they are attracted to just accept it and move on."

[Pepperjack]

@Ladyslipper take a chill pill lady, no one is attacking you, you are going off on people over a guy saying she should look into other sexualities if she does not like the way men act. He belives she may be a lesbien, who cares, why does this matter to you so much. Also I did not see that comment you quoted, my apologizes If it means that much to you.

[Ladyslipper]

@Pepperjack I accept your apology. And I'm sorry I called you a retard, now let's all be best friends 😘

[anastasiasgun]

@pavlove what the hell is wrong with you idiot.

[anastasiasgun]

I know that you are an anon troll who stays mad and bitter.

[pavlove]

@anastasiasgun you're a psycho. he didn't do anything for you to come at him like that saying no woman wants him. that was WAY too much

[anastasiasgun]

@pavlove *psycho

[Opinion Owner]

@anastasiasgun Everyone needs to just settle down. Its not our place to force her out of the closet. She is the only one who can decide how to live her life.

[pavlove]

@anastasiasgun you're so smart for catching a typo, cunt

[pavlove]

no one needs to calm down she's angry little troll bitch. probably fat and ugly and a pathetic version of a female

[lovelyhoneybones]

@Pepperjack I'm not a lesbian... and you don't look into another sexuality just because you find some traits unattractive in males.

Oh my goodness. This got out of hand very quickly.

[Opinion Owner]

I support your decision either way, just don't marry a guy, have kids and then decide that you want to be with women. That's really wrong to do

[awesomeguy22]

Maybe ur looking in the wrong place

[lovelyhoneybones]

I'm not looking though, I just meet guys and this is how they are.

[behappybabe]

I would suggest looking for older guys then.

[AleDeEurope]

Maybe you just need to get a sense of humor...

[lovelyhoneybones]

It has nothing to do with my sense of humor. That's like telling someone a racially offensive joke and when they don't laugh, you tell them to get a sense of humor.

If that's what you call humor, I'll pass.

[AleDeEurope]

Yep, you definitely need to grow up and get a sense of humor. And a thicker skin too.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Again, if that's having a sense of humor, I'll pass every single time.

It's ironic that you tell me to grow up when I'm asking a question about males who refuse to grow up. I don't get why some people get so butt hurt over questions.

The hilarity.

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, it's ironic you're telling males to grow up when you're acting like a little kid. Aren't you supposed to fix yourself before trying to fix up others?

[lovelyhoneybones]

Again, the irony.

Just because I asked a question, I'm acting like a little kid? Isn't telling crude and vulgar jokes rather immature? I have an issue with that, and you're trying to attack me behind it. That really shows your level of intellect. You have to stoop to name calling to get your point across.

[AleDeEurope]

Name calling? Aren't you name calling millions of guys by calling them childish and immature? You're offended when you get called a kid because you can't take joke, but it's ok for you to name call many guys.
You got offended when I told you to get a sense of humor... how am I not supposed to think you're a kid when you're a hypocrite that can't take a joke? Lol bet your ass you block me because you also can't take a different opinion...

[lovelyhoneybones]

I did not call millions of guys childish and immature, I said, and I quote; Majority of the guys I have met, despite their age, are very nasty. All they do is talk about sex and if not sex, then something childish and immature.

Last time I checked, I don't know millions of guys. On top of that, I can't help if that's the way that they act. The main reason I asked the question so that males could explain their reasoning behind this. Which as an fyi, and did get appropriate responses.

I'm not one who gets offended over someone else's opinion to the point that I block them. I'm a firm believer in everyone having the right to express their opinions. If we disagree or do not see eye to eye, you will not be getting blocked.

Also as another fyi, I was not offended by being called a child because I know what I am and what I am not.

[Anonymous]

i dont see a problem with that behavior.

#grabembythepussy

[Katherine3110hun]

Most guys aren't like that irl. Only online.

[allahu_snackbar]

That's a harsh indictment, I resent it. lol

[lovelyhoneybones]

Hey! It's what I've been noticing. Some males are just so over the top. Why is it so hard to not make a female want to throw up in her mouth after talking to her?

I know not all males are like this, but the better part seem to be.

[allahu_snackbar]

I duno, kids.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Grown men do the same thing. I was once talking to some dude who was 26 and he was the same exact way, even not worse.

[allahu_snackbar]

You're sounding pretty misandristic. lol

[lovelyhoneybones]

I don't know how. I have no problem towards males, it's just the way they behave. I don't want anyone thinking that I don't like males, because I do. It's just hard to form feelings for a guy when all he does is talk about perverted stuff. -_-

[allahu_snackbar]

Meh, there's plenty of morons of both sexes walking the face of the earth. You don't have to have anything to do with them as far as unnecessary engagement goes, ignore cretinous behavior and enjoy life.

[lovelyhoneybones]

In that case I would be avoiding a heck-of-a-lot of people.

[allahu_snackbar]

That's the way forward honestly. There's a lot of idiots around but people in general are tolerable, I find. I think you're irascible, but in the scheme of things my opinion is just as inconsequential as yours.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I'm not though and I honestly don't understand how you could form such an opinion from talking to me over the internet. Generally, I'm a very tolerable person who just happened to have a question to ask about the opposite sex and behavior that I consistently see in them. But somehow that makes me irascible.

Interesting.

[allahu_snackbar]

It's your syntax. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[anastasiasgun]

Because men only care about sex

[kitty71]

True

[Verecund_man]

You forgot to add, Money.

[kitty71]

@Verecund_man indeed as well

[Anonymous]

they have high sex drive

[Anonymous]

Immaturity