Would you drive past an exes house?

Question

I broke up worth my girlfriend about 2 months ago and I'm still not over it. She lied, cheated, manipulated me into thinking she was a sweet innocent girl and she was exact opposite. Am I crazy for wanting to drive past her house just to reminisce on the times we had maybe it will help me get over her and what she did?

dragonfly6516 · Accepted Answer

No, this is only going to make you think about her and that will only torture you further.

Dunno if anyone has said this to you yet, but there is never any excuse to do to you what she did. That means that she is not a good person, so it's not even worth your time/effort to wonder what you did wrong to deserve this, or what you could have done differently to avoid this, because the answer is: NOTHING.

When you spend time thinking of her in this way, you give power to her, you allow her to keep you held back from recovering the emotional wounds that she dealt, that much longer.

The the best thing to do now is begin the long and painful process of letting go and moving on. I say process, because it's not easy, it happens in stages, and no two people for through it the same way. Breakups are grief, and some ways work better for others.

Just try to distract yourself from anything *her*. Don't go out of your way to avoid *her*, but don't intentionally make reasons to be near her either. When you alter your life in any way, good or bad, because of another person, you're not over them, and they still have power over you.

D0LLF4C3 · Accepted Answer

No. I don't think it's crazy to want to do that. Actually it's completely normal but I'm not sure it would help.

Imagine the adrenaline and nerves you will feel going. Imagine how you'd feel a bit nostalgic that you used to look forward to seeing her and driving that drive and pulling in to the driveway. Imagine how deflated you'd feel after.

Do what you need to to get over her but I honestly think no contact is the best way, but that also means things like not snooping at their social media or driving by their house etc.

Also, 2 months really isn't that long. Please don't beat yourself up over not feeling healed.

Especially after what you've been through x

TsundereMatrix · Accepted Answer

He wasn't my ex but we were seeing each other for a while until I found out he was just using me as a booty call because he had a girlfriend. My mom and I drove by his house one day and my was like "should we stop by give him a piece of my mind?" Haha

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think you know the right answer to that. But I also how break ups how the pain from break ups can warp your mind into doing things you would never do otherwise. I think it's much worse for men because if we do emotion/cry after a breakup society labels us bitches. So instead we party it up, drink, fight, get random sex (if you are good at) or we completely hole up.

After my ex dumped me a few years ago I found out I had a HPV infection a few weeks later (I was loyal to her for an entire year). After debating for 3 weeks what to do I told her. Her response was literally "ah thank I'm vaccinated, as for you... you are ex so tough luck!" So after one of the biggest most agonizing insults of my entire I started doing some creepy things I wasn't proud of behavior (but I never knocked on her, went to her work, etc).

Point being I know your pain, best revenge is success. Focus on your job and getting yourself in shape. Focus on other women. Thats what I did. I doubled my salary, got a hotter girlfriend, learned new hobbies and really live it up.

dannymexico90 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you dated a narcissist. There's a therapist in you tube who explains how they work and it will help you. Lmk if you want the channel name but yea dude, that shits creepy. Ex that bitch out of your life. You won't be over it for a few more months. First you will be sad and want them, than you get angry and than you just laugh about it.

HitGirl_4680 · Answer

Why do you reminisce about someone that wasn't a good person that didn't treat you well or make you happy? Why on earth would you want to remember a bad person instead of forgetting them and moving on and being happy?

Anonymous · Answer

it depends on the state of mind.
if you are over her.. drivng by is just driving by, understand your own feelings that you are moving on.

I have done so, but it really didn't mean much to me. i don't have a lot of feelings when it comes to a relationship that respect has lost.
you have to understand, its more important for you to let go of someone who doesn't value you.

best to drive to a nice ocean beach area to listen to the sound of the wave or drive up to the mountains and breath in some fresh air...

good luck moving on from a bad relationship.

MichaelG · Answer

No bro, best thing to do is to talk to someone to just share it, and bro, out with it, every single inch.

Scream out loud at your pillow/in the car.

Accept what has happened, learn from it, be more alert next time and allow yourself to be happy, you just deserve it!

Spend some time with your best friends/people you really trust.

We all handle depression in a different way, you just have to find yours and trust me brother, Drugs and alchohol ain't the answear, stay away from that shit for at least 6months, until you really think: Damn, I'm happy and content, I got this and that, this person and that person. When you feel like that, then you're ready to drink again. Anger/sadness and drinks is a red flag.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

You're not crazy , you're hurting.

It won't help you get over her or help you to move on, coz reminiscing feeds memories, and memories feed the pain.

You're holding onto happier times, but try to bring yourself back to reality and see her for what she is... a manipulator, liar and cheater. Someone like that isn't worth reminiscing about

Robsinsf53 · Answer

OK brother, more like son, here it is for whatever its worth. You say she "lied, cheated, and manipulated" you into... That right there should be reason enough to forget about her. My ex wife was the same way and it took me 36 hours to get over her because that's when I seen her walking arm & arm with a piece of shit who was supposed to be my friend! I am so glad I didn't murder him! The way you describe your ex it should be a piece of cake to let that go. Just remember if you drive by and she sees you, possible restraining order or what if you see her arm & arm with a guy you considered a friend? Do you really want to see that? I went to my ex's cousins house who didn't like her cousin and, was always hitting on me. I fucked her for week, put a quart of semen in her stomach and made sure to have her tell her cousin. I say let it go and move on, don't find yourself in jail. GOOD LUCK!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have done that very same thing and it does not help. It merely stirs your memories and it is easy to dwell on the good times and to forget all the bad times. Read this:

evelyn26 · Answer

Same thing happened to me & my boyfriend 2 months ago. He is the same, liar, cheater and manipulator. However, I gave him a second chance.

Since you two are broken up, move on. Have fun on your own and maybe find a new gf? Quickest way to get over someone is to start dating again. Good luck

Ariesealey · Answer

I've done that, and it makes you feel excited but it doesn't help the healing process in my opinion, it only makes you think of them more... let it go let it go... I used to even walk past too... never saw my ex any of the times thank god though... took me two and half years to get over him... just keep yourself busy

falafelany1 · Answer

Not a good habit to get into. It won't help you move on and if she catches you driving by, it will make her feel like she still has control over you. Don't give her that satisfaction.

AlexanderMTW · Answer

it won't help sorry buddy, were in the same boat except I ended up blocking her becuase I didn't want her to grab my heart again after this guy breaks up with her for cheating and if he doesn't I doubt he is as good as I was #godlovesall #goodwillalwayswin, maybe ask her on text.

lumos · Answer

It is pretty crazy considering that she's a shitty person. She doesn't deserve you pining after her or the "good times". Move on dude. Driving past her house will just make you look like a creepy stalker. Don't torture yourself like that either, nothing good will come out of it. You're giving her way too much power.

Jgel1992 · Answer

IF it makes YOU a little more peaceful and relaxed then go for it. What's the worst that could happen? If you want to remember the good times ok, but the after that remember that she lied to you, she played with your emotions and if you think about it nothing was real...

XRabbitHeartX · Answer

Trust me when I say it will not make you feel better. Even just being around the same area where my ex lives gave me chills and made me feel heavy. Driving past their house will just remind you that it is no more and in the past.

nevermoregirl7 · Answer

It's only going to piss you off more. Especially if she has another guy over. Don't torment yourself.

Tay_tay101 · Answer

If ur still bothered by what she did and you don't have peace with the situation, you should try sitting down w/ he and having a talk about why you feel so hurt and u should listen to her too and find out why she did what she did and maybe if u get those answers you'll have peace. If she refuses to talk then u will know she's not worth it

forestprincess · Answer

I sometimes in the middle of the night with my lights out and blow this loud air horn bc he done fucked up with me he hit me and cheated on me and he made me lose sleep so ima make him lose sleep as well

Maxine_Payne · Answer

I have felt like doing that before and I do think it's normal to feel that way, but I didn't actually do it. Honestly, I don't think reminiscing would help you get over it; it'd make you feel even worse.

Princess_Eliana · Answer

Sounds my the female version of my ex boyfriend. I say don't do it it's going to make it harder for you to move on trust me just remember that none of it was real if that's the type of person she was. It may be real for you but not her. Stay strong 💪🏽

writikaa · Answer

No, it's not crazy. One day you'll truly get angry at her, until then drive past her house. Look at that door and think for how many days would you let yourself do that..

someone once told me... that one love story is in the past and one in the future.

So drive past her house thinking that you are going towards your future love story... just in circles.. with few pitstops

iwannalicku · Answer

the best thing you can do is not go by her place and reminisce forget about her find someone that you can trust and love and enjoy having in your life anything that you have that remind you of her get rid of it you can always get new stuff and then put everything you have into finding a new relationship something that will last for Lifetime something true and just for you

kaylaS91 · Answer

I drive past my exes house quite frequently as he lives pretty close to me.
I don't do it to reminisce, though. I might reminisce on fun times we had around that areas occasionally but, even 5 years later, doing so didn't bring any sort of help in terms of aiding me in getting over him.

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

So she was a typical woman.

Driving over and thinking about the past isn't going to do you any good. It will actually set you back. Think of all the shitty things she did, and how much better off you are without her in your life. And imagine what it would have been like if you'd discovered what a shitheel she is after you'd wifed her up and been with her for a decade or two, had a few kids, etc. Now think of all THAT pain you've been spared.

Now go bang a few other girls.

Kitzu17 · Answer

That might either help you come to terms with it if you're already gradually accepting the fact that it's over and supposed to stay over. However, if you are still in so much pain because of her, it's best that you don't because that might make you end up feeling even worse. If it helps you then that's good but if it really doesn't, you have to keep yourself distracted from even thinking of her. And if I were to answer whether or not I would, I wouldn't unless I have to.

JimRSmith · Answer

From what you've said about the circumstances, I don't actually think driving past her house is a great idea, especially not if you make it a regular thing.

I don't think it will help you move on myself. Focus on something new, instead of the past. That seems to do it for most people.

Ram0n83 · Answer

It's not unusual for people to revisit someplace that has meaning to them.

I don't know if it's the healthiest thing to do, though. I guess as long as it doesn't hurt you or cause a problem, then there really isn't anything to prevent it or make it bad.

soccerchick4eva · Answer

it's not crazy, it's just something you shouldn't fall into. The next time you might wanna go one step further and get a glimpse of her and so on, she broke your heart with what she did, you need to try and pull yourself together and move on

gypsydream · Answer

It will set you further back from the healing process you are at now. Trust me. I feel like deep down you either want to catch a glimpse of her or see her with another man. You're gonna hurt yourself

FissionStockMaster · Answer

Fuck no dude. Keep the hell away and forget about her. She's trash. Get pissed off and remember all the pain and how she treated you like you were worth nothing.

Hidden_P · Answer

I used to. I wouldn't advise it. Firstly it becomes addictive and secondly when they come outside with someone else it hurts and sends you insane.

SarahsSummer · Answer

You want to reminisce over the lying, cheating and manipulation?
If there's a choice, I wouldn't. I had to drive past an exes house every day for 5 years. Not to reminisce, it was the only way to and from work.

Shweta10098 · Answer

It's completely normal to miss your times together even though she treated u like crap. But if you want to move on and find someone better that u deserve maybe driving past her house won't help u get over it. It will just make u miss her more and therefore make u more miserable. Maybe some distance will help u move on

CasperWilliams · Answer

it won't help, I've done that. many times. not back to back, but it's been over 10 years. only thing you can do is just pretend she doesn't exist, she never did! Find an upgrade from hell, make new memories. she might always be on your mind but in ten years she'll have a kid or 3 and be with someone that ain't the father of any of them. karma's a bitch. just live your life, and have fun! life's too short to worry about​ a minnow in the ocean. YOLO! make it count!

OverCaffeinated93 · Answer

People usually miss memories and not the actual person. Cherish the good memories, move on from the bad and remember she's crazy! But give it a try. Just KEEP DRIVING

gadoe6 · Answer

no its not weird lol it called trying to get over her lol. dont interact if confronted by her tho you will get sucked in by the devil herself lol. and well try not to get to emotional but if you have to then do as you need my boy. a breakup can be devastating many times when you have put in so much effort.

ImTinkerbell · Answer

No not at. You miss the the good times y'all had together. I wouldn't do it a lot. You'll end up setting yourself up for more hurt.  Take it day by day. You'll find someone better. Keep your head up

man_made258 · Answer

you should drive past her everyday if possible. get a damn nice girl and show her what she's missing. make that bitch suffer for using us men

Analinda1999 · Answer

my friend drives by his ex every week lol just to check on things... he dumped her c she was abusive.

Anonymous · Answer

It will not help you in anyway. All if will do is make you question things even more such as if there is another car parked there or something like that. Honestly no good for you can come of doing that. You need to try and get over her and move on other ways (spending time with friends or going on dates with someone you think will be good for you) not by driving past her house for the sole purpose of reminiscing.

Browneye57 · Answer

Yes, you're crazy. Give it up dood, time for you to move on.
The best revenge is to simply be awesome. Work on that.
You need to get to a place in your mind where she does not even exist.
Consider you likely dodged a huge bullet.

Justacatlady · Answer

Is it okay to be a stalker?  C'mon, if you had to ask this question, you know it isn't right nor is it healthy

Anonymous · Answer

Driving past her house won't do much to help you heal those open wounds. You just really need to give yourself permission to grieve the loss of what you thought was a good relationship, and that takes time. You can't rush it, you can't force it. In the meantime, instead of constantly focus on her, surround yourself with your friends and family who do support, love, and give you that care that you did not end up receiving form her and make new happy memories to help ease you out of the bad.

cutemz · Answer

I'll crush her house. How would you miss someone like that?

lord_chilled · Answer

That won't help. It has the opposite effect.

My buddy always feels this need to roll down the window and call bitch when we pass a girls house. I need to drive over that area quick while distracting him with something else before hand.
doesn't always work and i hope she doesn't call the cops on us...

miiszmel · Answer

My ex have done this and he would text me "hey i just drove past your house" like wtf?  Dont do this. It won't help you get over her and it will make you look like a crazy stalker ex lol

shygrl25 · Answer

I know you still have feelings for her but it isn't worth it. Driving by her place is going to make it harder for you to move forward. Please try your hardest not to and to get rid of any and everything that reminds you of her. Good Luck.

Anonymous · Answer

If it was me i wouldn't ride past my exes house
cause you never know if they could bring charges
or lie and say that I'm stalking her. You just never
know cause this day and age they could say anything
against their ex partner and can get one in trouble.

lightning32 · Answer

if you really think this is the last thing you need them go for it, but be sure it won't lead to more times passing by and wanting to remember all the time. if you're unsure I'd say just move on move forward and make new memories.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I am guilty of doing it, but it doesn't help. Eventually, you will need to stop before you get accused of stalking her. That's a crime.

queenSquigz · Answer

it's totally normal to wana do that.. as for it helping u move past her, or what she did?  it definitely won't

SinatraF · Answer

No you're not crazy, you just miss what you had with her. But I don't think that'll help you get over her. There's other better ways to help you get over her and driving past her house reminiscing isn't one of them. You'll find someone better soon. 😊

lifes_curve_ball · Answer

No dude, put her ass in the rearview, don't bother driving past her house on purpose nor avoid it on purpose. Don't reminisce, not worth it. And don't reminisce over anything, have a short term memory like all the greats.

Kaylove96 · Answer

I would if I could since I'm not over him and I have done it before a couple or few times. And there's a restaurant right by his house that he'd always take me to so I kinda reminisce when I'm in that area.

thattallchick · Answer

Honestly i was the same way but with a guy. The guy did all these horrible things to me you mentioned and more. but yet for like 6 months i was always checking his social media and driving past his house. It's hard because it was my first love and that's something you never get over but over time i did get over it. people like that are totally not worth your time because my ex was surely not worth mine

Anonymous · Answer

That's the most counter productive thing you can do man.

I dated a girl who seemed amazing at first as we had a lot in common and would have great conversations but ended up being a manipulative narcissistic bitch who screwed me over. I avoid driving by her neighborhood in the city if I can as it gives me anxiety.

It's bad enough that me and her have similar music tastes and that I see her at some of the concerts I go to.

That's torturing yourself man.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

Yes that is extremely creepy and obsessive dude. Do not go that route.

TelegramMike · Answer

It's impossible not to have that urge but it's a very bad idea to succumb to it.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I would if I had to. In your case, if you think it will help you move on, yes.

lelizondo · Answer

i dated a girl for 3 years. she cheated on me a month before we broke up and she banged the guy that one month, got pregnant, now has a kid. I got over it in a few months and what helped was the fact she's a high school, college drop out with no diploma or GED, her "fiance now" can barely support himself. so my turn out is I win cuz her problem isn't mine nor do I have to pay for child support. so my suggestion is... dude she's not worth ur time! she's gonna turn the tables on u bro

Rcjh1987 · Answer

I think you driving by would cause more harm than good for yourself , don't torture yourself with all the good times you guys had that went out the window when she cheated on you.

Anonymous · Answer

You can do whatever you think is going to let you cope with this. You have to know getting over her may take some time though.

Would you drive past an exes house?

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