What are reasons for a guy losing interest?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

In a relationship

[Being_a_good_Indian]

1. He is dealing with his own demons.

Society still projects men as these tough superman characters who can’t be bothered with emotional problems. That is a load of crap. All people have demons, hang-ups, and painful experiences from their past that will still affect them in the present.

Though he may not feel comfortable telling you this is what he is doing, men may lose interest in having a relationship when they realize they have a whole bunch of baggage to deal with first.

I know, ladies, many of us think: “but I could help him!” Not every inner-battle can be helped. If you are in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage, he may be grateful working through it all with you. But often, these things cannot and should not be untangled with someone else around– and that’s definitely not your fault.

2. Something in his life has changed.

When a man loses interest in you, something has often changed. But that probably doesn’t mean you did. Think about how many times in your own life a new opportunity, plan, or idea has come forward all of a sudden. This can happen to your guy too.

Maybe he’s decided he wants to travel for a while. Maybe he has a new job opportunity that will either take him away or take up too much time. These life events happen and they don’t always work with someone else in tow.

This will have nothing to do with you. We are all on our own life paths and sometimes our paths join together beautifully, and sometimes there’s a fork in the road. You cannot predict these life changes each time you meet someone new. He probably didn’t either.

3. He has changed his mind.

Sometimes something in his life changes, but sometimes he is the one who changes. It is possible to want one thing and then realize it’s not all you hoped for. All the things he wanted when he met you could be different now. He simply changed his mind.

He could have thought marriage and family life would be ideal. But as he gets closer to tying the knot, he realizes that’s not the actually case. He could have thought he wanted a relationship to look a certain way, but it turns out he actually prefers something else entirely.

You will have to get out from the trap of thinking if you behaved differently, he wouldn’t have changed his mind. Remember, we are not in charge of other people’s thoughts and actions. We are really only witnesses to them.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

4. He is not ready to commit to a relationship.

So many women feel it is their seductive powers that cause men to full under a spell of lifelong commitment. Then it means if he doesn’t commit, women take it personally, “What did I do wrong? It must be me.”

If a guy isn’t ready to commit, he’s not going to commit to anyone. Commitment is a personal choice that we cannot (and should not) force or make for another person. If he isn’t committing to you, that’s his 100% choice. And it’s not always for selfish reasons. He may simply be aware of the goals and experiences he wants to gain first– or he knows deep down that you want different things.

Maybe he thought he was ready, but actually wasn’t. Maybe he was stringing you along. Maybe he was honest about not wanting commitment, but you thought you could change him (you can’t, by the way). In fact, you are not the problem. Most of the time, he isn’t even the problem. He is just not ready.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

5. He likes the chase more than the woman.

It is true that some men are bigger fans of the chase than any woman they are chasing after. If the act of pursuit is what turns him on, there is nothing you can do (or nothing you shouldn’t be doing) that can change that.

When a man loses interest because he has “won the prize” of having you, you cannot convince yourself that you did something wrong like having sex too quickly or introducing him to your family before the right time.

He wanted a chase. He wanted to win. He didn’t necessarily want a particular woman. In a sad way, you are interchangeable to a guy like this. That stings, but it should assure you that you had nothing to do with is lack of interest. Find a man who is more interested in you and the relationship itself.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

6. He is in love with somebody else.

When a man falls in love with another woman, what do we often say? “His wife must not be having enough sex. His girlfriend must be too demanding. She’s so clingy, no wonder he strayed.” We blame the cheated woman.

If he is in love with another woman, that does not mean you are inadequate, ugly, uncaring, or unsexy. It means he fell in love with another person. He did. It’s his responsibility. Whether you’ve been dating a few months or married for decades, your man falling in love with someone else is not a reflection of your flaws. It is a sign of something going on within his own heart and mind.

He could also have lost interest because he is still in love with someone from his past. You are not responsible for using your magic powers to break that bond of love. That is something he will have to deal with on his own.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

7. He is an asshole.

“Asshole” is definitely an option. This is the guy who isn’t interested the second you gain two pounds, the guy who can never be found when you need something. He’s the guy who only wants to be served, or the guy who simply was never interested to begin with.

These are assholes and they lose interest for all sorts of shallow, sexist, and lame reasons all the time. They are the ones who will blame everything on you and have a whole string of women who they “lost interest in.”

Assholes will probably tell you it is your entire fault, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There is no pleasing an asshole. So let your bruises heal up and find a man who cares about more than himself.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

8. He may have no reason at all.

Sometimes something just does not feel right. He may look at you and know everything is wonderful. He’s attracted to you. He loves the light you bring into his life. Everything is perfect on paper. But he is just missing a certain spark.

Chances are, he probably cannot even communicate or understand why he’s lost interest or why something doesn’t feel right. That’s the crazy thing about love: it’s unpredictable.

There may not be a reason why a man loses interest in your relationship. It may just happen for him. Sure, when he doesn’t offer you a reason, it may feel like a much harder thing to get over. But realize his being unsure is still a valid emotion.

No matter the reason, when a man you’re interested loses interest in you, feelings will be bruised. Hearts will be broken. But it’s important to remember that there are many reasons why men lose interest that have nothing to do with you. It’s on him.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Sometimes the clichéd line, “It’s not you; it’s me” – is entirely true. It’s not you. It’s him. And no matter what he says, don’t own his lack of interest and turn it into something bad about you.

Hope it helps. 😊

[Asker]

Eh, I still think it is something about me after all. I just don't know what. I probably should've given him more of a chase.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Now, I don’t know exactly what was going on in your particular situation, @Prima_Dana, since I wasn’t there. 😊

So far, so obvious. Now remember that in the beginning of any relationship — what we call “dating” — the bond is fragile at best, and nonexistent at worst. Two strangers are gambling on each other, hoping something may come of it.

Imagine you’re a lion on the African savanna, stalking a gazelle. You’re thinking, “Aw man, this is going to be great. This is going to be tasty. I’m dying to dig into this gazelle. Munchtime!” Your senses are on high alert, and you just can’t wait to pounce.

Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. Whaaat? This is not how things are supposed to go — I’m supposed to be the one chasing! What’s wrong with this gazelle? And it kinda does have pointy long horns… Ahh, do I really want to do this?

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Now, I’ve never been a lion or gazelle, but I can imagine that the chief emotion that the lion was feeling at that moment was #confusion.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Thanks for selecting my opinion as most helpful opinion.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

Here’s a list
-figuring out she’s unhygienic on a regular or consistent basis. It’s not a deal breaker, but it COULD make me lose interest.
-talking and entertaining other men in a more than friendly way. If you wouldn’t do it with me watching you, then don’t do it.
-she seems like she’s not interested in me. She doesn’t text, call a lot, or doesn’t seem to put that much effort at all. I can definitely sense when a girl isn’t interested
-superficial
-hates kids (huge turn off)
-hates beer (jk jk)
There’s more but that’s the primary stuff in the top of my head

[Asker]

Lmao I love beer.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

😟😳🙄
Someone needs to marry you quick Prima Dana lmao.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

You’re the ideal woman lol

[Asker]

I wish the guy who dumped me last could see it 🙄 😂

[BrittBratt2416]

Wasn't that interested to begin with
Found someone else
Didn't want a serious relationship and only casual hookups
Discouraged about anything going further with the person they like due to over thinking and insecurities about themselves
Too busy with work and other projects
Life circumstances
Friends/family intervention (changing their view about the person they like even if the person is good for them)
Sudden realization of personality clash

[Anonymous]

Telling him everything! Ever notice a man doesn’t walk through the door and rattle off everything he’s done that day in depth? That’s because to them it’s not interesting keep some things a mystery unless they ask of course then be honest. I once had a friend that used to tell her guy everything down to what she’d bought in the supermarket and if it was on offer some of these guys she’d only been on one date with!
Needless to say she got dumped a lot

[RJGraveyTrain]

The most common in my experience is that girls think it's the dude's job to do the contacting, showing of interest, etc. Y'all act so passive and don't show the same amount of interest as you expect so guys lose it.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

There ya go, asker.
My work here is done.

[DiegoO]

Good answer.

[Asker]

I’m taking about interest in a relationship setting.

[Asker]

Talking*

[Asker]

@DiegoO in a relationship setting, not flirting. I’ve shown the same amount of interest. I’m not the passive type.

[Asker]

I don't know why that showed up two times lol. My bad

[DiegoO]

Sorry if I wasn't clear. I meant to say good answer because its something that happened to me. I wasn't relating it to you.

[Fuentes]

Hella true, the girls justify it by saying im a cold hearted dude for dropping them lol when it's like... im not gonna be a full simp

[RJGraveyTrain]

@DiegoO Lol well that's hard to assume considering you're commenting on my comment. But either which way.

[DiegoO]

x P...

[Prof_Don]

When I've lost interest in a girl, it is usually because she comes off as boring or too "closed" social-wise.

If she is horrible at carrying conversation, or doesn't seem interested to get to know me, I presume she isn't interested. I don't want a date to feel like i am pulling out her teeth!

[thatguywithakeyboard]

Well it would depend on a guy for starters, everyone has different reasons. I personally lose interest when

a) Girl play's the hard to get/mind games,
b) Girl gets caught up in her lies,
c) The girls is different in real life (personality wise) vs what online conversations made it look like

The most common reason I loose interest is when a girl says she is "nice and friendly" and this turns out to be total BS. I don't associate with BS people.

[aboringuy]

Its pretty simple, when a guy try to show his affection for her and she's doing the "GTFO" attitude, also when she makes him tests endlessly to show her he's the best, otherwise she won't even botter to talk to him or she will treat him like shit. When you see how high women dating criterias are insanely high, you go MGTOW, cheers.

[AvgCdnJoe]

Lota of things... Eating like a pig. Turning down sex frequently.. hanging out with other guys frequently. Diffrrent lifestyles. Sifference in oppinion. Hygiene. You like to showw off your body. Etc etc. It's going to vary from person to person.

[manffchesfer2]

A successful communication can create an effective interaction. When you talk about, if a side tries to keep the sharing, of course he will be completely exhausted. Interaction! You have to throw yourself into the sharing time.

[Groisu]

Big one that usually kills my interest is when it feels like it's not going anywhere and I'm not talking just sex I mean like she's either not showing anything to say hey I like you too then I'm like oh well whatever

[AdamED]

If he realizes that the girl is not his type (that happens in an early time of the relationship) or if it's difficult for him to live with the girl due to some habits she has. You know, you don't know someone well until you live with them.

[TrajanJJ]

Crap becomes stale. Also uncaring or bad person to be in a relationship. Other temptation. Routine shit kills relationships.

[JCT666]

When the girl doesn't put any passion or effort into the relationship.

[deaston]

It depends on what type of guy you are talking about.

[winterfox10]

Being confused as hell is actually the main reason a guy loses interest

[AnandoRudra]

When he found someone more attractive, sexy and beautiful then whom he have. He loses his interest on her

[rico99]

Novels/one word text, dont make the gold fish lose focus/ dont make the gold fish worry text minimum 20/maximum 175 keep your gold fish happy

[scooogy]

When she has more focus on her friends or her problems without asking me for advice or help.

[Razal]

When a girl becomes too bossy, or too moody, or too possessive, too clingy, or to fat or abusive !!

[red_knight]

Beating about the Bush, hard to get, childish mind games, lies, being a hoe, cheaters, unhygienic

[Suryachandra]

If the the girl behaviour changes or avoiding him then it makes the boys behaviour changes

[gabeNurse]

not to lose, develop novelties in sex, surprises and desires

[Christpaquin]

Becoming overweight and don't give a fuck

[Redstang88]

Probably just not interested