Do Men Really Think Fat Women are Desperate and Have Low Self Esteem?

Question

Okay this is the question which I expect a lot of you to probably be getting your ANONYMOUS ANSWER on because I don't want some fake politically correct answers! Keep it 100 and don't hold any punches!

The reason I ask is because I'm fat. Yeah, I said it, I am fat. I am 5'7 and I typically wear a size 14-16 or 18-20. I have a cute face, pretty hair, and a good style which probably helps in my favor *not trying to sound conceited*. I'm just wondering because I hear a lot of people talking ish about fat girls so I wonder well how come there are guys that like me then? It made me paranoid, do you think they like me because they assume I would be easy because my standards would be lower because of my weight or something?

I used to weigh a lot more than I do now so even though by looking at me, I'm big, I actually work out and it took me a lot to get down to this size. Also I have a larger bone structure so I don't really "look" as much as I weigh. I am fairly confident and stuff like that so would that have anything to do with a guy liking me? I'm just kinda confused because if men are only supposed to like girls with hot bodies why do they like me then? I hope it's not because they assume I would be desperate because I'm not. I am thinking about rejecting any and all guys until I get down to a size 6-8 so I will know for sure I'm being pursued for the right reasons. I don't want to be the girl that a guy goes after because he thinks I won't say no so tell me the honest truth because I'm losing weight anyway! I need to know

allnite69withme · Accepted Answer

The main person who should be concerned about your weight is you. If you like yourself, and you have a strong sense of worth, then you should not worry about who thinks what. IF you are a strong woman and you find guys who show interest, but expect you to be easy, it is not your fault. If you recognize it and can control the situation, they are the ones who lose out on meeting the real you. Now, the more important issue is this - you are an overweight mom and your weight may be putting your health at risk, which can hurt your children should anything happen to you. If you want to lose weight, lose it so you are healthier and feel better, not to please some dimwit guy who does not want to see beyond the weight.
I do understand because I have gone up and down in my life and I find that many women will not look at me when I have the weight on, but when I lose it, I get approached by women, some much younger. Personally, I think most are shallow. I am the same person with or without the weight, and it does not change my sexual performance. Still, I feel better when I lose weight. Recently I had to lose weight because of a health issue. Just by cutting out all sugar, bread, pasta, cereal, etc., I lost 20 pounds without any exercise. You also have to stay away from artificial sweeteners except Stevia and the like. But I can eat all the meats, chicken, fish, etc. I can fry them, use as much butter, eat the fat and the skin, and still not gain weight.
SSO - you sound like an intelligent woman - take care of yourself for yourself! not for some dumb guy. Any man who will not like a woman unless she is a "model" weight is not worth the time. Face it, as time goes on and you get older, he will only look for someone younger who fits his shallow expectations.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

1. Before I answer your question, I think that you should lose the weight only if it bothers you be it health or appearance. You shouldn't lose weight because you're worried about what someone else thinks or being perceived in a certain way. That motivation likely wouldn't stick or you might just give up on it as soon as you give up on men.

Now, to answer your question. Yes. No. There you go.

It would depend on the way that the girl carry themselves. If the girl dresses well and is very confident(and NOT faking it) then people aren't going to mistake her being easy. But if the person is obviously insecure then some guys will assume that they are desperate from compliments and try to take advantage of that. Also, shallow guys would think that as well.

I for one like curvy women, not because I think that they are easy but because I am legimately attracted to them. I think that a curvey and confident women can be very feminine and enticing.

Miss_All_Time_Low · Accepted Answer

Not at all.

I have two friends that are a bit rounder and have bad self-esteem issues. However, they're beautiful! Objectively, I mean ... really amazing-looking.

Most guys notice them and a lot ask them out because of their face (which, in fact, is the most important thing about somebody) and their relatively happy, care-free personalities. It's them that usually break off relationships as those guys are crazy over them.

All I can think of (and I have, people say, a "nice" figure) is - HOW can they possible care?! Apparently, nobody else notices that they're out-of-shape. And plus, they're doing the best they can which is what counts.

We are all lacking at some level, whether it's personality, face, body, intelligence ...

If you are cute and dress well (not in baggy clothes), I promise you it won't matter to guys. It's impossible to notice when almost everything else about the person is great.

Do take care of your body. Don't obsess, but work to be healthy - such as eat right and work out a lot. That'll automatically make you feel better ... and you will realize you did all you could.

:)

EyeAmNiceGirl · Accepted Answer

My guy friends tell me that overweight women are FAR more likely to be open to first date sex and internet hookups. And they say when they gave a courtesy escort back to the dorms in college (for the girl's safety) after a party somewhere, that thin girls never invited them up to their room, but that overweight girls often did, and if they accepted the invite, the girl was more than willing to do sexual things. For you low IQ people out there, I did not say that ALL overweight women are like that, or even that most overweight women are like that, only that more overweight women are more likely to behave that way than "in shape" women are.

sinful1620 · Answer

Okay here's the thing... most girls can get sex whenever they want. They're the ones who decide whether or not a guy will progress at any stage with them (whether they'll get laid, whether they'll go on the date, whether they'll actually have a serious date or if the girl is just using the guy for a free meal, etc...). The one exception to this is when a girl has something that makes her notably less attractive, like a deformity, disability, or being very overweight.

Because of that, you can't get sex whenever you want. You'd be at the mercy of a guy who gives you the opportunity, similar to how nearly all guys are at the mercy of girls giving them the opportunity.

You're desperate relative to most girls, but you're about on-par with the desperation of the vast majority of guys. As for self-esteem, that really depends on you. A lot of girls (and guys, for that matter) who are bigger hate it, eat to feel better, and the cycle goes downward.

Some people, like me, don't hate that they're overweight, they just like to cook and eat regular portions of good food, but aren't super active to balance it out. Other people are overweight for various reasons, so you can't really assume that being fat automatically means low self-esteem, but there is a high correlation.

NerdyJock · Answer

I would say if a guy likes you he probably doesn't think you have low self esteem (only guys that just want to sleep with a girl will look for self esteem issues) but to be honest it does sound like you do have some self esteem issues, you mentioned that you might not go out with a guy until you fit your ideal mold of pretty, your telling your self that hey unless I'm this absolute hot goddess then no guys will think I'm pretty, just because your big doesn't mean that guys won't find you attractive, I won't lie guys rarely do like fat attractive and that is the same reason why girls don't, we want someone healthy, someone that has enough self pride to keep in shape so they don't waste away

HeyitstheCaptain · Answer

no wayyyyy, listen as long as you're confident then the numbers on a scale don't matter.

you should only lose weight if YOU are unhappy with you're body,

i hate girls with low self esteem, they can be hot and skinny but if they're constantly

checking a mirror to see if they look good or are always thinking they're overweight even though they're a size 4 then I won't go near them.

you said you have a "cute face" right? so then aslong as you can hold a conversation

you should give the guys that approach you a shot

im a super active guy -track- football- etc and all the "fat" girls I encounter

have pretty good self esteem and that's a great quality to have

jointhepatriarchy · Answer

What's the one thing that gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

elite · Answer

There are guys that are going to like you for who you are and others are going to just want to get laid and since you said you have a cute face they'll go for you because they think they are less likely to get rejected

Anonymous · Answer

If that was true, then I wouldn't get rejected by them X)

Do Men Really Think Fat Women are Desperate and Have Low Self Esteem?

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