Are women who have height requirements on their dating app profiles shallow and superficial?
No. I dont think men who refuse to date fat women are any of that. The heart of romance and relationships is sexual attraction. Sexual attraction the biological essence of bonding with a partner. Only women take the position that sexual attraction is less important. However, studies show the majority women see sexual attraction as very important.
For a man, dating a pretty girl is about status. A lot of men will have sex with fat women but never date them. They are embarrassed to be seen in public with girls who are overweight.
I have dated a girl who was overweight and later obese. I loved her. But deep down inside in public people would look at us and I was ashamed. She was ashamed too. Girls would treat her kind of bitchy because I was a muscular skinny guy and they felt that she didn't deserve to be with me. I think she felt embarrassed too. In her insecurities she started lashing out in the home about little things.
We dated two years. These days I have sex with fat women every now and then. More like and friends with benefits type of things. But I will never date one. I will date chubby girls with large breasts though. There is a difference between chubby and fat.
I personally feel that this is dependent on how hypocritical people are. It is thus either (as you say) "insanely fucking shallow and selfish", or it is completely acceptable, depending on each person's viewpoint (s).
I have observed a common trend in people to exempt themselves from being targets of actions they engage in. This is very common in the subject of dating.
For example; I have seen several questions and polls here in which a majority of people view the refusal to date a person based on that person's height or race (features that can't be changed) as "preference" (and thus, not shallow). My position is that it is hypocrisy to have those "preferences" and then demand that others do not have their own, especially if we factor that something like weight can be changed while height or skin colour cannot.
On a side note, "fat" is very ambiguous, as different people seem to have a minimum threshold for what they consider "fat". In the past, I have been attracted to girls that where considered fat by others, but I didn't think that they were.
I see no good coming from this question... you're probably not going to like most of the replies you get-
With that being said, I don't like it, but it's their choice. If they prefer not to date fat women: it's their choice. They're potentially missing out on a good person, but that's their right.
When I was overweight, obviously guys had no interest in me. Did it upset me? Yeah, of course! But I was fat; I knew I wasn't appealing to most guys. So I did something about it: I lost weight!
Okay I didn't lose weight to get a date. I lost weight to boost my confidence and feel better about myself.
My point is while it sucks, and I hate that most people put looks over personality, unfortunately it's a factor most people look for in a potential partner. If that bothers you, either find a man that does love you for your body, or lose weight~
It doesn't go hot and fit with fat and unfit. Is that what you're suggesting?
A guy who expects his woman to be much, much better looking than he is... yes I would agree with you on that. But basically, it's understandable for people to want their physical equal.
(Of course we know things don't often work that way, because some women like their man to have money, status, prestige, power, etc.) So why would a man want a woman who is equally dominant/strong in these things? They have different priorities. (Though I respect the people who want an equal, not a trophy or a way to climb the social ladder.)
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Ngl you sound like a sexually frustrated fat feminist
I dont think anyone has a right to expect anyone else to date them. No matter the reason. I think a lot of girls who say their fat or act like their fat are actually a normal healthy sexy weight. I like bigger girls but not fat girls.
If your a bit out of shape but could outright run for a solid 10 minutes and then stay on your feet and keep walking while you catch your breath then i dont consider you fat.
If trying to run will make you fall over and have you gasping for air after 5 minutes then your probably fat. If you can walk a steady 3-5mph for 30-60minutes then your not fat or out of shape as far as im concerned.
If you litterally wobble/waddle when your walking because your thighs are too fat to slip past each other without spreading your legs and swinging one leg around the other while you walk then your a land whale who has no right to tell others they are shallow for not being attracted to you when you can't even have the discipline to get in shape.
If you can't take a knee without worrying about hurting yourself or not being able to get back up then you need serious help and dating is the last thing that should be on your mind.
If you have a little bit of extra tummy or thicker thighs than most thats nothing to be ashamed of. Personally im very very attracted to sexy curvy women with thick thighs and a belly. I think preggo girls are incredibly beautiful too.
But some people aren't into that and you have no right to tell them what they should find sexy. Im personally not attracted to very skinny girls they look like prepubescent kids to me. Like if you look the same at 18 as a boy does at 12 then your probably doing it wrong. Girls are supposed to fill out with a bigger booty, thicker thighs, and a tummy. Those are things i find sexy other than a pretty face, good personality and even boobs.
You argue that men who won't date fat girls are shallow and superficial, but that's not true. I would say that both men and women want someone who has the drive and motivation to take care of themselves, which includes maintaining a healthy weight.
Outside of the worst-case scenarios of obesity, most overweight people can lose the extra weight in 6-9 months with only diet and exercise. There's enough completely free and observable data and information online that walks you through getting there.
No, it's not the fat, it's everything that comes after it: Lazy, unmotivated, gold digging, obnoxious, bitter, resentful, and past that, nobody wants to be with someone who is going to have severe and costly health problems down the road.
I wrote a MyTake about exactly how you can change your life for the better, but it's not easy to digest, and comes with a lot of self-introspection and if you cannot admit your failures and mistakes, then it will fall on deaf ears. Read it if you want to be happy, or just remain miserable, your choice.
I am highly attracted to these particular type of women. Feel better now?:
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/7a92880f-1f56-49b1-b5b3-080121416c18/de0faqp-aadc247f-b867-4649-ab67-27a14919fa26.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzdhOTI4ODBmLTFmNTYtNDliMS1iNWIzLTA4MDEyMTQxNmMxOFwvZGUwZmFxcC1hYWRjMjQ3Zi1iODY3LTQ2NDktYWI2Ny0yN2ExNDkxOWZhMjYuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.HPc2HNZZSRWxP1DQYJI3htM91wQta08DpagxiLMFmuE
https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Lo02v_UQm7TVL1r7_OXvcgHaJ9&pid=15.1
If you think we live in a society where everyone is equal - spoiler - you're wrong.
A man - unless he's very young and mindlessly messing around - will look for the highest quality woman he can find. The issue with fatness is, firstly there are many health issues you are likely to develop, secondly it suggests laziness and lack of self respect, finally, it's unattractive.
I suppose what could be considered superficial is that - considering men are on average fatter than women - a fat man refusing to date a fat woman certainly seems superficial.
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to be truthful. My refusal to date a fat man doesn't make me superficial either, I have certain standards that I don't wish to lower.
Everyone has a preference to how skinny or fat they want their partner to be. Some people can't help but feel attracted to fatter, some can't help but be attracted to skinner. One can't force themselves to desire someone sexually. That is not shallow. What is shallow is picking specific body parts, what shape and size they should be, what color, what type. But overall fat percenate, you cannot call someone shallow for that. That shows health sometimes. Would you date a very fat guy? And dont compare it to golddiggers. Golddiggers want to use someones hard earned money for themselves when they did nothing to earn it. That is shallow too, but way worse than not wanting someone too big.
No one is obligated to date someone because they are fat... Most women say that they won't date a guy who's shorter than 5ft. That's even worse if you ask me. Height is not something you can just change whenever you want. Fat women can usually lose the weight and it's better for them and everyone around them. It's definitely not all about looks, but why would you rather look at something bad when you could look at something good? Also, people who complain about people being shallow are usually shallow themselves. I want to know how many women would be okay with a man who says he's with a woman because her personality is great but he doesn't find her pretty at all. Very few if any. I guarantee you that.
LOL. one of the big reasons you date someone is because you find them cute (that's evolution, I'm sorry). and most people simply aren't attracted to fat girls. that's just reality. It's not shallow or superficial, it's just dating is about looks to a big extent. I'm sure you wouldn't date someone who is really ugly or deformed right? or someone who is 400lbs right? or even an amputee or something? don't be hypocritical. being fat is unattractive to most people (partially cos of evolution lol).
I'm guessing your fat and your pissed at men because some guy you like doesn't want to date you, so i'm just gonna say that there's quite a few guys who do like chubby girls. there's less but you can find them pretty easily online, fat lovers. there's guy who would date you. now honestly if your really tired about guys not wanting you, lose weight
Both men and women judge a potential partner based on appearance. That can involve many things, not just body type. Attractive facial features, quality of smile, indications of status or wealth, height, on and on. Some of this is "hard-wired" as people choose in part on if they perceive a partner as healthy. Is it "fair" in the sense that a man should give a woman he considers less attractive the same degree of attention that he gives to a woman he is immediately attracted to? No. But he also gets the same treatment from other woman. And in the end it is an individual's right to choose that is most fair.
Do you date men you find ugly? That's sounds superficial too. Why should someone date a person they don't find attractive? If a guy finds fat women unattractive, that doesn't necessarily make him any more superficial than not dating someone for any other characteristic they have.
Thank goodness you are open minded.
1. Health issues are more likely to happen if you are overweight.
2. If I lead an active lifestyle can you keep up? I like to hike and bike. Why should I have to wait for you?
3. It displays a potential lack of control/ restraint. If you don't take care of your weight what else aren't you taking care of?
As for shaming me... That's like a trans woman saying I am discriminating against them because they have a penis. I don't accept that criticism.
Here are some things to think about.
- Everyone has a different opinion of what's fat or not.
- People are naturally attracted to different things and no one can control that. Hence why fetishes/kinks are a thing.
- Being fat can correlate with your personality, but not always. What I mean is, is that it is a choice to be that way, but for some that isn't the case. So if it is a choice someone can see it as a flaw in your personality.
- Gold diggers go into the relationships with the intent of using the person, yet if a guy didn't want to date a fat girl, then how is he being malicious? He is actively saying no to having any chance of using her for sex, then dipping.
But I keep myself athletically fit and I enjoy many sports and outdoor activities like hiking, swimming, wall climbing, and soccer.
Why should I be castigated for wanting a partner who can join me in all these things and who also keeps themselves athletically fit? I like doing all these things with a partner.
I don't think it's shallow and superficial to want a partner who can physically keep up with you and join in the activities you enjoy doing? Going on a hike with a loved one is really fun, especially when the scenery is really beautiful and it's a nice cool day out.
If the attraction isn't there, it isn't there.
Would you even want someone who doesn't find you attractive?
I don't mind an overbite, a big nose or a flat chest. Those things aren't important to me. However, if someone is more that 20% overweight that is unattractive to me.
Just like a woman who needed huge muscles and perfectly straight teeth and a 32" waist would probably pass on me.
We all have different tastes.
If you're overweight, you can actually do something about it.
So, put down that food and hop on a treadmill.
(I should probably do the same.)
I wish you the best.
I agree with this statement. While attraction is an important factor, and men constantly applaud themselves for not "dating for status", thinness is in itself "dating for status." Most men will deny a first date with a woman because of her weight. Men will ascribe personality characteristics to an overweight woman before speaking to her. Men will treat overweight women as "maybe better than nothing, maybe not." Its unfortunate, how one can so easily distinguish between which women are "worthy" of something "real" and those who aren't. All women are worthy, regardless of how compatible with one person they are. I benefit from thin privilege myself and I dont have to experience this first hand to know that men will come up with tons of bs justifies to prove they aren't "shallow" when they in fact, have no intention of getting to know a real person with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
I think women are going to apply infinitely higher standards to men than that standard on women. And most men don't even seem to apply it. I don't mean to be dismissive, because I know everybody struggles. But I really feel being overweight is pretty solvable pretty quickly relative to the barriers men have to overcome to being attractive.
Work on your mind. Move around more. Exercise. Eat better. Respect yourself. Bit of discipline. Solves the fatness problem pretty quickly, doesn't it?
I can't help what I find attractive. And I know women apply myriad other discounting attractiveness factors on me that are beyond my control. So I'm not overly sympathetic, tbh.
I just don't find it attractive. It's indicative of poor habits, sloppy habits, lack of self respect and bad health.
Having said that, I still find some 'cuddly' women attractive.
I largely agree, and indeed there is a great deal at play here that I would be happy to discuss further if you want.
But the short version is that all men are biologically hardwired to like bigger girls, this is just an evolutionary and historical reality. However, the modern media-fashion complex has been highly effective in making "fat" out as "ugly" in the public mind.
Men that refuse to date "fat" girls do so because they require the approval of their friends and social circle, ie. they are more interested in the appearance of the relationship than its substance.
Personally I love bigger girls, they are actually superior to skinny girls in most respects as far as relationships go.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that you shouldn't ever lower your standards simply because snowflakes are offended by it. So what if a guy won't dare a fat chick? Other guys will. Girls literally refuse to date short guys, yet you donr hear people flipping the fuck out. People have preferences. If you dont fit into someone's standards, move the fuck on and find someone else. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people and a shit load of guys love big chicks. I am bisexual and you wouldn't catch me dead with a fat chick. I also wouldn't be caught dead with a short guy. Preferences are normal. Get over it.
Why should I feel forced to buy a pick-up truck when I'm only happy with a sports car?
My personal reasons to NOT date an overweight (being somewhat small myself):
- she's too heavy to ride me --> not practical
- her feeding habits are in opposition of mine --> no match in 'views'
- weight issues out of 'medical' reasons --> I look for a partner, not a patient
- restricted mobility --> wanna go rock climbing with me?
Call it shallow and superficial if you need to.
HALF of my relationship is...: ME :)
The 'rights' others claim are my own ones as well.
It's not shallow to have a preference. Fat women simply aren't found as attractive as apposed to the average body proportions. People can't control what they find attractive also. If I don't find someone attractive, I'm not going to date them, because I wouldn't be happy in a relationship like that. People have types, and yes, even race preferences are okay and not racist. They're simply not attracted. Not dating a fat girl because you know you won't have a good relationship due to you not finding her at all attractive isn't shallow, because you're looking for love. Golddigging is shallow, because someones using others attraction to them to purposefully and knowingly take their money, and nothing more. One's a preference, the other is predatory.
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