My boyfriend said, “My vagina looks like the dead horse from “The Revenant” after sex.” Thoughts?

[cutegamergirl]

Last night, I was laying down watching “The Revenant” with my boyfriend of 8 months on my bed. We got to the scene where Leonardo DiCaprio was crawling out of the dead horse’s body when by boyfriend laughs “That looks like you’re vagina after sex!” I was silent, shocked. He looks down at me for my reaction: I still hadn’t said anything and he kept laughing some more. I sat up and tried to climb on top of him (I was half naked) to ask if he really meant that, when he backs away from me, saying he doesn’t want “my juices” on his jeans. I was even more offended. I asked him if he really meant what he said. He says he was joking and I need to learn how to take a joke. I told him that I joke all the time, and laugh at his jokes all the time, but i draw the line at making jokes about me or my body. I also said I felt really hurt and cry about his comments because I have a hard time with my self esteem and hearing that breaks me down. I also said it’s not a very good joke if he’s the only person laughing and I asked him why he feels the need to make jokes that tear me down. He just kept saying that it was a joke and I need to relax. I turned the movie off, and asked him to leave. Was my reaction justified or do I really need to get better at taking a joke?

I’m writing this a day later and I still tear up because my vagina is the most private part of my body and I was vulnerable with him and I feel like he violated that vulnerability. I know he said it was just a joke but I don’t see the point of making jokes that ultimately hurt people’s feelings.

I should also say that we’ve had this issue before with his jokes, and every time I tell him how his jokes make me feel, he says that I need to get better at taking jokes and that I’m starting to become “no fun” to be around.

Anyone’s advice on this would really be appreciated, especially guys that consider themselves funny and like to make sarcastic jokes.

Thanks,

cutegamergirl

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for all the comments!

I wasn’t mature. While he was packing his things, I kicked him twice, and shoved him out of the door, and slammed the door behind him. He also countered that I was being a hypocrite since we laugh about how weird his penis looks on a regular basis.

[InfoBot]

It did make me laugh as a joke in its own right but as a comment to a girlfriend it's extremely clumsy to the point of being utterly thoughtless. It's easy for anyone to say something almost willingly offensive and then say "You need to lighten up" but that is not really a get out clause for all situations. I'm sure that if you'd laughed at the size of his penis the first time you saw it he might have had a little pissy fit.

He doesn't sound much like he cares for your feelings on a given issue when they aren't compatible with his own. It's not about how he feels you should take it, it's about how you actually did take it and if he cares about you then he should care about that. The fact that he doesn't speaks volumes.

I would be tempted to say that this prick will not be good for you, but that's your call to make.

[Laurens_]

You overreacted by making him leave. I can understand why you were upset. But if he jokes all the time and you do aswell... Humor is good. He probably thought he could make such a joke. He should also have comforted you and say he will keep it in mind next time. After sex a vagina can look a bit 'weird' so that is probably why he said it as a joke.

You should not be so insecure about your body either. I think that is the main reason why you overreacted. A good guy doesn't care too much about looking top tier each day or something... Looks are bonus. Instead, focus being the best version of yourself. Then, right guy will stand by your side.

[Laurens_]

In your shoes I'd have said you don't like those kinds of jokes and him that clear. But telling him to leave over this is too far.

[Laurens_]

Make him that clear*

[Priyanshipriya]

What if after sex ur girlfriend said "Hey this nimo little fin resembles ur d*** after sex" would it not make u self conscious. I am not trying to make u mad but its just i have this odd urge to ask this question to u

[Laurens_]

It depends on how well you can read your partner, how the humor is like in the relationship, knowing 'the line'. Personally I'd find it funny and also make a joke. I understand why she would be upset, though. He should also have said he'll keep it in mind and apologize.

But even then, low self-esteem is her problem, not his. I think that is the main reason why she overreacted. Kicking him out is definitely overreacting, not debatable.

[Priyanshipriya]

It is very much debatable. Cause he should have obeyed her boundries and like she said it happenes all the time so whay he do it ALL THE TIME

[Temmec714]

Ugh, this is a tough one... some guys joke like that and say mean things.

My boyfriend jokes meanly and says “I’m your boyfriend I’m allowed to be mean, it’s my job”

But that comment was rude... and if he respected you when you’ve told him you don’t like his jokes he really should stop.

Men and women have completely different humors. I’ve worked with men that joked with each other so meanly I was like “if me and my girl friends ever said that to one another we wouldn’t be friends anymore”

But he needs to realize you’re not one of the guys and if he was mature & respectful would know that... seems like he’s not too good with women

[Weirdstuff]

It's a really bad joke, but we all make bad jokes sometimes. He obviously did not anticipate your feelings on it. That is normal and we all make mistakes on wrongly predicting someone's emotions and reactions. That is something that should be forgiven. However, you literally told him that you did not like it and where your boundaries are. It would be respectful of him to not make that joke a second time and childishly tell you that you're overreacting. So many guys are insecure about they penis size, so they should not overreact when a women is insecure about the looks of her vagina. .

[sadkat]

I think you were very mature about it because I probably would have thrown in some jabs at his penis lol. Men are idiots and don't realize how vulnerable a woman has to be to expose her lady parts because they have no problem slinging their dicks around everywhere. I understand what you mean, because I've too felt the very same way about my vagina due to self esteem. If this guy knew you had self esteem issues and still made that joke I would kick him to the curb and tell him to take his pussy jokes elsewhere. He's a twat.

[Laurens_]

Your comment is very superficial saying 'men are idiots' and sling around their dicks. Fooling around isn't tied to one gender. Some men might have been like that in your life, doesn't mean everybody is. You should never let self-esteem influence your judgement about how your partner behaves, what he does etc. It's unhealthy.

[ChronicThinker]

I would have been upset too, but unlike you, I would have told him to eat shit. I'd tell him that joking is fine, but if he wants to take personal shots at me for shits and giggles I'm going to start doing the same, or he's going to become single fast.

[Priyanshipriya]

Just go on the bed with him and watch "Finding Nemo" and when the nemo is on screen tell him that "hey... Sweety..! Doesn't his small fin resemble of ur d*** after sex. I see it is just like the same. What do ya think" just ask him this and let me know what he said.
And yeah tell him to obey the boundaries u made.

[laurieluvsit]

Uh... sounds kind of odd to me.
I would say just let it go for now but if that is his proclivity to be insensitive to you like that, then it's time to start looking else where for a boy that will treat you like the queen he should be.
You think?

[Steve37]

That's not the most flattering comparison I've ever heard. I don't blame you for being offended. If he can't see why that's offensive or understand why you don't find that funny, he had serious issues. The fact that he passes the blame onto you by saying you need to learn to take a joke is a serious red flag. Do you want to be I. a relationship with someone who says things like that about you and expects you to take it?

[MMarina]

I'm really proud of you for your reaction. I'm glad there's women like you out there! I think you acted very maturely and you did well (very well actually!) to respect your emotions. This person doesn't sound like the kind of person who would appreciate you and be on your level. I understand you have some self esteem issues (we all do damn it!) But..
Maybe those issues are caused by people like that making rude comments about us. Well done for not taking any shit. You deserve a gentleman :)

[Viperkiss]

Yes because it’s perfictlly reasonable to expect no one will ever make rude comments, so instead of toughening up and dealing with your self-esteem issues- expect the entire world to change it’s ways for your delicate sensibilities.

[TheUglyMonk]

@Viperkiss And girls on here wonder why guys prefer to hangout with their friends, if you roast someone they don't take it to heart. Self conscious people fam

[MMarina]

@Viperkiss No, not "no one ever". But your boyfriemd making such a comment about your private parts is not something you have to tolerate, especially if when he saw you hurt he didn't mind :)

[MMarina]

Then again I hadn't seen the update... I see that I just assumed he was being hurtful when in reality they were both equal on the insults game. So all is good in a twisted way I guess...

[TwatTwig]

My boyfriend and I pick on each other all the time. He makes fun of my "gobble" (the skin/fat under my chin) and I laugh every time. And he has no ass like at all. It goes from back to leg lol. But I've never been offended by it. I think you just need to relax. I stopped caring a long time ago

[melanieeeB]

Well I don't like his reaction, especially after you told him how it makes you feel, I personally would have expected the guy to apologize and not tell me to relax

[Wollu]

I think you are right to be angry about it. I wouldn't make such jokes unless I want to hear jokes about my dick. Which I don't. I understand that you are upset,

[Anonymous]

Don’t be so sensitive. Laugh it off. The v does look a little like a horror show. But so does the D. So just throw it back with a “at least I don’t have a turkey neck hanging between my legs.”.
Your self-esteem issues are not his problem. You don’t want them to be or he will feel like he walking on eggshells which becomes a drag and he will resent you for it.

Now if he said it seriously you have an issue. But it was a joke. Take it as such.

[TheUglyMonk]

Class A comedian. It's not personal, if he takes a shot at you just take a shot right back at him. Kicking him out was unnecessary.

If this is your reaction everytime he makes a joke, he'll no longer make jokes around you and he'll no longer want to chill with you as much as he used to leading him to be more distant.

[TadCurious]

I don't blame you for being upset. I'm sorry he said such a thoughtless thing.

[PrincessVV]

Okay guys do not understand how much these comments affect us, he was trying to be funny but he messed up

[callum0902]

Maybe sometimes he is goin too far or maybe he's just being funny about your vagina it even could be him complimenting you as it could mean he enjoys your vagina 😊 haha do the same back make a joke about his dick n see what he says if he gets offended by it just say that you felt the same way when he says things like that about your vagina 😊

[itsme123456789]

Sounds like he isn't getting any for a while then, his own fault lol

[parkerlesueur45]

No way that's a terrible thing to say it was a very good way to handle the situation

[rockrewls]

Wow how inappropriate that's not a joke it's an insult, and he's an asshole.

[Intraluminal]

He's a real charmer. Quick! Marry him. Don't let this one get away. 😂😋

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

lol!!! I don't know what's more funny, the comment (which was goddamn hilarious) or how butthurt you are over an obvious joke...

[Anonymous]

If you have an ugly, outtie pussy, I would have made the same joke. It's okay to laugh at yourself sometimes, sheesh

[jacquesvol]

Don't have sex before he has apologized.

[Revolver_]

You should relax

He should make better jokes

[Trending_Topic]

You dating a comedian.

[TheUglyMonk]

Bruv it is a funny joke but people are too self conscious

[dragon9669]

I'd have to see it to comment

[Alisha90]

Lol 😂

[dragon9669]

All pussy is beautiful to me. The rest of the body I'm not sure about but every pussy is gorgeous ;)

[Nice222]

Lol that is funny I will have to use that line.

[ovoxo_]

You really need to get better at taking a joke