Have an opinion?
I think "man up" is no longer understood these days. If you forcefully repress your emotions, I'd say you're doing it wrong, and you might be accumulating all kinds of stress inside that might lead to some sort of outburst."Man is not affected by events, but by the view he takes of them." -- EpictetusThat's how you man up. Take a man who is miserable and complains all the time about his life and often breaks down crying or gets angry easily. For him to "man up" doesn't mean to suppress those emotions. It means to start looking at things differently, to change your outlook on life so that you can become a productive individual rather than someone who dwells in agony over things no longer within their control (the past, e. g.)."Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response." -- Viktor Frankl"He is the most powerful who has power over himself." -- Seneca"We suffer more in imagination than in reality." -- SenecaFor example, let's say a man is having a quarrel with his girlfriend. The girlfriend says some mean things and so the man gets angry and then upset and starts crying in front of her. That's when I'd want to tell him to "man up" as a shorthand, but it doesn't mean to just simply stop being angry and upset. It doesn't mean to force yourself to repress those emotions. That could be a very unhealthy thing to do."Man up" in this case means, "try to change how you are looking at things." For example, perhaps the man started throwing a temper tantrum and getting upset because he is thinking too much in an egocentric way. Because of that, when his girlfriend was moody and she said something mean to him, all he could think about is the damage to his ego and how she's treating him unfairly, and so he naturally gets very upset and angry given how he is looking at things and thinking about them.However, if he could change his way of looking at the situation away from his ego and start focusing on her instead, he might realize that she had an unusually bad day, might be suffering from a menstrual mood swing, and that any mean-spirited thing she says isn't something she really means. In that case the man wouldn't find so many reasons to get upset and angry. He'd find reasons to forgive her, stay calm, and try to comfort her, maybe make her laugh and cheer her up a bit. That's the true way to "man up".
Also important to understand is what it means to be a "bigger man". That means to let things slide, to not get offended, to not have a delicate ego easily bruised, so that you can focus on improving the situation rather than making it worse. "Man up" and being a "bigger man" are often tied together, and one of the key prerequisites is to stop being so egocentric and stop dwelling on things outside of your control.
Same kind of thing with courage under fire. A man who is in a natural disaster can look at it like, "OMG, we're all going to fucking die! We're all dead already! It's all hopeless!" and panic and basically get himself and everyone around him killed. Or he can look at the exact same situation in another way like, "Okay, this has happened. It wasn't within my control. Now I need to calm down and focus on getting myself and my loved ones to safety," and it's through that rational thinking and outlook that he can find courage under fire. It doesn't require repressing the panic that kicks in. Someone who thinks about these events in a more productive way won't have to do that. They'll be motivated to do the most productive thing from the beginning.
The panic comes from very negative and cynical thinking patterns, so to speak. If you have productive and rational thinking patterns grounded in reality, then you won't panic in the first place. You'll do what you have to do to find safety.
Manning up, in its proper form, is something that I think should be taught to both males and females alike. Maybe we should just replace that with "grow up" or "toughen up". It doesn't mean to suppress emotions. It means to stop thinking so negatively, stop being so hysterical, start looking at things in a more productive way, and start getting your act together and start doing the right things so that you don't destroy yourself and bring down your loved ones in the process. Understanding how to properly man up gets shit done, and it creates leaders at a time when they are most needed.
Take jealousy as another example. I've seen some young girls on here suggest that jealousy is a normal part of being in love. Not necessarily. They're assuming that because they can't help but feel jealous when they're in love because their thinking patterns veer towards the negative. They need to "man up". If they do and start thinking more productively and change their outlook on relationships and life, they'd no longer feel jealousy. You don't have to "suppress jealousy". If you change your thinking patterns and properly "man up", you won't even feel jealousy. The emotion won't come up in the first place.
We're taught it because we have to. Society wouldn't have reached the point it has if it weren't for men setting our feelings aside in order to make the hard choices and perform the difficult tasks.Men lead. People don't want to follow somebody unconfident. Men this have to hide our emotions because that's the only way shit gets done in times of crisis or emergency. When shit hits the fan there's no time to sit there and cry, it's do or die.That is why men place that burden on ourselves. Not because it's fun by any stretch of the imagination, but because it is necessary to our suvival.
Emotions have nothing to do with gender.We are conditioned to think men are less emotional.Proof?Anger is an emotion.A man who gets angry is viewed as being tough, macho, a big deal etc.Men's angrier / aggressive emotions are praised as a trait of masculinity.In compare, women were praised for being soft and gentle, crying is cutesy, making us weak and damsel in distress - you know, so superman can save us and what not.And then men marry us.And the lion claws come out.And then we are labled as "crazy" because society brainwashed everyone to think women are incapable of aggression and anger.Likewise,Men are all loud and volatile.Then we marry them.And the steel wall they were force to build comes down.Then they are calmer, crying at Titanic and wanting snuggles instead of sex.We freak out, thinking he is bored of us, cheating, or suicidal depressed - when he's totally fine. Actually better now that he can freely be, you know human...But we are brainwashed, that its not "normal" for a man to you know, feel something.Men get hurt as easily as women do.They are just trashed for showing pain.And ooooh... how excited and happy they feel when you do sweet things for them.Men like flowers, especiall if its his favorite.Men like surprise chocolates and candies.They like nice clothes, jewelry, and talking.Thoughtful attention to their personal details... etc.I mean Woman literally means a man with a womb lol, which means-Men are just women without wombsxD
It's not that men are less emotional than women, they're just as emotional. It's that the way that men process information is different than the way women do. Yes, our particular society teaches men to act a certain way, but male brains process information in a very confined way. Things aren't interchangeable, and everything has a black and white definition, it's like the series of filing cabinets from A Series of Unfortunate Events, everything is sorted in a file for whatever reason and there it stays, regardless of any other information. Whereas, female brains, are like a spiderweb, everything connects, everything is interchangeable, and one thought instantly leads into another. To put it in perspective, the female brain processes information in the same way a panic attack or anxiety thought process does. A male brain processes information more procedurally and linear. So, in terms of emotions, a female brain with connect their emotion to, let's say, 50 different thoughts. A male brain might only connect it to 1, or a handful.
That's really well penned down..
I think it's a combination of both.
I dont know what circle of hell did women get this tornado of misinformation but you can't teach no one emotions. Feelings you can hide. 2, he is taught to man up cause if he didn't hell be 30 years old playing action figures, crack jokes at funeral and draw on the walls say its art.3, genetically men are logical and women are more focused on what going on in there skull than reality. So if we get into a situation we dont have years worth of information on our minds, our feelings, the past the future. No, just the here and now and maybe the future ( introverts) women, there mind is time machine that can't stop traveling and they pay waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay waaay waaay to much attention to it and they give in to it. So not like men are heartless just we know when to cry, when to sob and when toget angry.
Both are true in some regards. There are plenty of expectations for men to be manly and many are taught that they need to be tough and manly. I was taught differently. I was taught that I ought to be a master of my emotions rather than allowing my emotions to master me. It's a valuable skill for anyone to have but men especially as they are often expected to be leaders in some context. A leader that is controlled by their emotions is a scary and dangerous thing. On the other hand however, the male body produces hormones in smaller quantities than does the female body. In other words, yeah we feel emotions, but even our strongest emotions are usually less potent than a woman's strongest emotions. It's not a sexism thing is simply biology. Get mad or whatever it won't change anything.
I don't know where it comes from, I've just never liked to cry in front of people. It is embarrassing. I can remember tripping on the playground while running at school (maybe 2nd grade) and skinny up my elbows and it stinging and burning so bad and I started to feel tears welling up and then realizing I was on the verge of crying and then just gathering myself 8 year old self and sucking them all back in. It is just natural to not show too much of your deep feelings in front of the general public. Maybe in private alone or with someone close. That's it. It would have to be really traumatic to cause me to lose it in public, like a wife or child dying or something.
The fundamental reasons are: 1. Poker face: don’t reveal what you’re thinking or give away information too freely.2. Emotions are contagious, so don’t drag others down.Guys with low testosterone or depression tend to be moody, withdrawn. Too high T leads often causes hypersexuality and aggression. Average tends towards social, assertive but mostly mellow.It’s a bad idea to simulate too often emotions you’re not experiencing because it looks fake.Anecdote: Both my father and grandfather were mercurially-unstable, so I aimed to be even-keeled. In doing so, my grandfather would become further enraged because I didn’t loose my shit like he did, since that’s the way he learned conflict resolution: even more conflict.A friend of friend mentioned a circumstance that seemed unnecessarily extreme: his friend “couldn’t” cry at his own mom’s funeral.
Yeah but I think you're ignoring a key biological reason. A man looking weak in front of another man is dangerous. Animals are always trying to be the most dominant aggressive and assertive one to attract all the mates.Men are definitely biologically wired to be less emotional. I feel there are significant amounts of culture that come from biology.It is unhealthy to force men to be completely emotionless even men should have a chance to let it out. But if we encouraged men to be an emotional wreck that wouldn't be good for them either.
I'm going to say... probably a bit of both.I wrote a paper a year or two ago on this topic. I don't remember all of the points I made, but I know for sure that men are taught to hide their emotions from a young age. It's definitely not healthy for them and in all honestly I think society is stupid for having such "rules" for men to be emotionless robots.There are, however, certain men who I believe are naturally less emotional than some women. I'm not going to use absolutes, because not all men are non-emotional, and not all women are emotional. But I think there are some men, a larger proportion than of women, who are less emotional. It's simply because of nature; women are biologically more inclined to be nurturing and mothering, which can cause them to be more emotional because taking care of children often requires a certain understanding of emotions.
I'd say a bit of both.I can honestly say I'm not an emotional person. I can distance myself from emotions, and look at things from a logical standpoint. But I can have my points where I am inconsolable, and upset far longer than I should be. It's how our brains are organized. We focus on one, or two things at a time.I knew a guy, only child, raised only by his mom. Growing up he was extremely sensitive. You'd have to walk on eggshells around him. He was more sensitive than a lot of females I knew. But then he joined the marines, now I can say whatever around him, and not worry about hurting his feelings.
I think it varies. But regardless, how everyone handles their emotions is unique to them. But a lot of men bottle things up or only release when they are in complete solitude. I do think a lot of that has to do with how they're raised. But also, women are always seen as super emotional, which yes, we can be, but I think it's also the contrast between men that makes us seem that way. We are less likely to be taught not to express how we feel, so we seem very dramatic when we might just be having a normal reaction to whatever is going on.
Guys are taught by society to be callous and girls are taught to be dainty. Its not like literally being taught by a teacher but media, your friends, etc all tell you "guys don't like girls who are butch, girls don't like guys who are pussies" and we all want to be liked and find people who'll want to fuck, so we believe it and start grooming ourselves to act a certain way. You start thinking in your head "don't tell people all you know about guns, mma, and hunting or you'll get called a lesbian by your friends and you'll never get guys to like you." Or "don't cry in front of anyone and take steroids to get jacked or you'll get called a beta pussy by you're friends and you won't get a girlfriend"Its all lies motherfuckers! All lies! Be yourself! Fight the conformity!
You are young so I’ll give you a pass on this. But as you grow older you will likely find yourself less and less attracted to guys who show their emotions (if don’t already). I’m a former pro mma fighter by the way. But was always a sensitive guy (who hits hard)
@somewheresomeway oh really? What's your name?
Not going to identify myself on GAG too much at risk lol. But yeah I did it for eight years
I'm really into mma and ufc😊 what's you're win loss? What weight division? Did you get any title shots?
9 - 2. Won a regional title at welterweight a few years ago
It's both but we are being indoctrinated this type toxic masculinity early on, which is the actual big problem whereas being naturally less emotional is not.See this combination (us being taught to never cry + us being less emotion) is what results us to *never* cry. We are human, yet function like robots. Beep boop! Error 404: module 'Emotions' not found.Soon we'll go as far as connecting more with female sex robots (harmony from realbotix) than with actual women if this issue keeps persisting:cdn.discordapp.com/.../unknown.pngNo offense!
Yep, pretty much. As a kid I would go overly sensitive about things and cry, my Dad would get absolutely pissed off and ask me if I was a sissy or such. Basically I was taught that unless I was physically hurt I was not to cry.There was some good that came out of that though, because I've learned that showing a poker face can be beneficial at times. Not to mention that when things piss me off it's really good to be able to filter it out instead of just becoming emotional.So there are some benefits.
We are taught so for sureIf we are also less emotional at the same time is hard to say Men are perfectly capable of deep emotions for sure But I think perhaps they are not as emotional about things that they deem unimportant? I think men are just as emotional about the things they care deeply about as women areBut it is really hard to say... I think men are less emotional in their every day lives but is this their natural state or a result of long term suppression of emotions? If you condition yourself towards feeling less you may eventually actually feel lessThat being said men are more emotional than is often assumed men just do not express it because it is most often frowned upon particularly emotions in the sad/hurt/depressed vein... a woman crying elicits sympathy a man crying elicits scorn
Honestly, thats one dumb thing... boys cry regardless whats it about, maybe once or twice a year but they do. Don't really care.I know from myself that im more emotional than most of us. Yes I cry like a little bitch on emotional stuff when its about. I don't get it why is crying an argument nowadays when boys cut their dicks off to be female and having unhuman things done in the world and one of them is crying? Like come on.Yes I cry upon sad things, thats who I am, at least I feel not like the broom haired fuckbois who wants to be the best soiboi in the village.
It's both.We guys give each other a hard time when one of us is emotional. This happens early in life. Later on, women take over and give us a hard time when we act delicate.But we're also less susceptible to our emotions, on average. Though, of course, we are still susceptible. Testosterone might have something to do with it. Guys who take exogenous testosterone (so as to have a higher test level than the average male) find themselves being more direct, and not as easily distracted by their emotions or others'. On the other hand, they're more prone to anger.
I think men are much less emotional than women, hence why the go for STEM fields and harden up far more often than women.Men, in terms of combat capability, are the superior gender (exceptions exist yes, so get off my ass social justice cucks) so we have to play the role of the protectors and conquerors. We men don't cry while watching movies or if we get embarrassed in a social situations. Crying is a sign of weakness. The truly strong (male and female alike) set aside their emotions and rely on cold, precise logic and rationality. Control your emotions or they'll control you. You're 100% responsible for your own actions.Emotions are nice to have to an extent so we humans can indulge in hedonism though. What else is there to do in this nihilistic existence where all purpose is simply an illusion?
Both. And they are taught by WOMEN. They do not have the same level emotions and feelings swirling around in their head like a woman does. Period. Men are more based in logic and reason. Their thought processes are different than a woman's. And women, while claim to want a man to show weakness, emotion, but when he does she loses respect. Continued unabated she will come to loathe him, shut down sexually, bail cheat or any combination thereof. No, women look for men to be their emotional rock. Besides, you don't want him breaking down into tears every time you do, right? :)
Its really sad that you actually believe all that. That may be your experience with some women you've chosen. But I assure you that's not mine. Maybe it's just me but since I was young men seem to feel comfortable breaking down in front of me. And I tell them it's ok. As far as men being more logical is bs. Men are more simple minded we are more complex. Our different ways of thinking are needed to solve certain problems. Because sometimes we need a simple answer and sometimes a more complex.
@PinkMichae - And you are showing your sexual bias, believing all the pure fiction perpetuated by the FI. No, men are not the same as women. Sorry toots. :)And there's nothing 'sad' about it. The unvarnished truth can be hard to accept. We understand that, particularly for women. They are not well based in reality, preferring to live in their emotional world of feelings. It really is all about the FEELZ, and they are highly likely to change their mind any any given moment. And feel completely justified in doing so. Just ask them!
As I like to say, it's a feature, not a bug. It's just the way it is. For men, ignore it at your peril.
Your opinion is your truth. It's not fact. How you are as a man is different from other men. We don't just fit in one box. Nor did I say we are the same. Women might seem unrealistic to you but you can't speak for every man out there. Even I can admit my opinion or my truth doesn't apply to everyone. And if you say your truth is fact that just proves how unrealistic you can be. I do except that there's men out there and even women that may be more rational in certain situations. But not all of them. I've met plenty of men that are emotional but show it more in anger, pride, etc... We are individuals and you are not doing yourself any good with your simple black and white way of thinking.
@PinkMichae So do you deny that in general, in a biological sense, men are less emotional?
@Juxtapose. No I don't deny that in general women may be more emotional. I I deny that it makes us less realistic or logical. And men are emotional. It just comes out in other ways such as anger, frustration, pride, jealousy, and love. To love is emotional. I believe back in @Browneye57 day women did expect men to be the strong ones and looked down on them if they broke. But it's much different today.
@PinkMichae Its still same, simply put guys who are "emotional" don't get laid. Girls see them as weak. How many Romance Novels have you seen an Emo being fawned upon. What are popular romance archetypes like? You're right in regards to showing/processing emotions. But there is a difference between healthy display of emotions and being emotional. Emotional guys are not seen desireable partners by girls. Otherwise plenty of guys would let loose thanks to feminism draining masculionity out of them, yet they still control their emotions. Survival of the fittest, if being emotional hinders your chances with success common sense says be more manly and control your emotions. How many of those guys who were vulnerable around you showing emotions you actually wanted to fuck?
@Oram52 - At least someone gets it. :)@pinkie - it has nothing to do with 'the day'. These things have not changed in a bazillion years. Women have always looked for their men to be their defender, protector, provider. The more things change the more they stay the same. A weak guy is simply not the desire of women. They absolutely abhor weak men. And I know, the first thing you'll say is, "but I'm not like that." LOL. It's so freakin' common there's even an acro: NAWALT (not all women are like that). Sure. :)
@browneye57. They were my boyfriend's including the man I'm with now who I find incredibly sexy and want to fuck. I can't speak for all the women out there. Just my experience. And what you say is completely foreign to me. Because I don't think like that. I believe men shouldn't hold it all in. I believe it leads to early death and I want my bestfriend and lover to be around for a long time. I do know that there are women like what you describe but in my experience not the majority anymore. It's an old school way of thinking that people have moved passed.
Men can breakdown and not be seen as week. I see it as a strength because it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable to a woman.
@PinkMichae I dunno, a lot of social justice folks cry at the drop of a hat.I'd argue that it takes strength to master one's emotions and detach from them.
@Juxtapose. If everyone did that what kind of love would this would have. Sounds to much like being a robot if you don't express yourself. Now if that what makes you happy is to master your emotions then knock yourself out. I can see it would take strength in that as well. I myself don't want someone who won't express how they really feel when they feel it. Good or bad.
@PinkMichae Fair enough, to each their own, right?But one goal of mine is ultimately to leave emotion behind enough so I only have enough vestiges of it to still feel enjoyment while the rest of my being consists of cold, calculated reason, rather than just mask it.I've had some success and I must say it's been quite peaceful. I used to be so concerned with love, death, ethics, etc but that has given way to apathetic hedonism. Resisting and subverting my primal nature (as much as I can) is key.
@PinkMichae - You're confused with the primary differences between men and women - the guys just don't have all that emotion and FEELZ swirling around like you do. It doesn't mean a guy has no emotion or cannot express it, it's just not the same as you. These are basic differences and women in particular are slow to understand. And hence we get questions like this. A real man isn't all soft and emotional - it's just not how they're wired. Kind - yes, has feelings - yes, but he's just not going to break down into tears every time you do. :)
I'm not confused. That's just your jaded perspective of needing to feel superior over women. I've already stated men and women think differently and express emotion differently. But maybe you're to old and slow to remember what I said. I don't know. What I do know is your opinion of women is wrong. You are what people call a male chauvinist pig. And that's not a good thing.
@Browneye57 "You are what people call a male chauvinist pig."She's just proving your point by reacting to you emotionally.. lol..No offense Pink, just being honest.
@Juxtapose. It's not about being emotional and no offense taken. But I can't have an opinion of his character based on the things he has said without being called emotional? Why? Because I'm a woman? You assume I'm behind my phone fuming over his unrealistic views of women. If I were a man making the same observation then what would you call it. Now if I told him I hate him for what he has said then that would be emotional. So you see you are so convinced everything women do is emotional you imagined me all upset. However the fact that you worried you might offend me seems a bit emotional to me. Js. Unfortunately I see what I've said has no impact on him or you to possibly think outside of the box instead of being stuck in these old fashion dinosaur views of the world. So I will gladly move on. Good luck with everything guys.😎
@PinkMichae - And you are what people call a "raging cunt" and that's not a good thing either. So there's that. And all men and all women are pretty much the same, but since you're a special snowflake you're just sure you're different. You're not. There's even an acro for it - AWALT - all women are like that. And they're the first to stand up and say "not all women are like that" which is NAWALT. It's a joke. Yes, they're all like that. We're done here. IDGAF what you think and you're not changing my mind. You think you're all that AND a bag of chips and I'm here to tell you you're just not. This isn't even your question, and you don't even know what you're talking about. All ya got is your own observance, and that ain't squat.
"Men can breakdown and not be seen as week. I see it as a strength because it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable to a woman. "This is so much bullshit. Complete fiction. Now we know you don't have any idea of what you're talking about. Oh well. GTFO
@PinkMichae Actually you have a fair point, my bad.
@Juxtapose. Thank you.
@BrownEye57. Look who just got emotional and triggered for coming onto your comment and debating it. Thank you for proven my point. You sir should call down now so you don't bust a vessel. I'll be happy to end this and leave you comment so you can decompress. Thanks for the debate.😎
It's half and half. Yes we are taught to to be strong and hold it. As a normal human being not bent on following to the T what society tells me, I find that you need to have a good balance. When the family is looking to me I need to be strong. But I also need to be able to let it out or eventually I'm going to break down from the inside.We evolved to have these feelings for a reason. To deny them would be counter-intuitive you know? A guy can still be manly and strong and yet cry about certain things in life or express strong feelings about things.
i'm pretty sure men can be just as emotional as women because we have feelings and they do get hurt sometimes, it's just that men would try to hide it so they don't show the weak side of them. there are some men that do cry and would cry hard during a break up.
Women are more emotional, but I do think that a lot of men are taught to not show there emotions. Their parents are not the only ones who make them think like that though. Some girlfriends do it too, then they wonder why the are not opening up to them. It's really not good and people should just realize that guys have emotions too and that it's ok to for them to show their emotions.
See I don't know. I have a feeling it is socialisations since my father, who's never been fond of listening or following social protocol will openly cry in public and in front of us. My mother on the other hand i've actually never seen cry because she expresses sadness through anger, largely due to her upbringing.
Some girls are also taught not to cry yet I realized it was a natural thing and yelled at my parents when I was little for forcing me to go against something that other people deemed was perfectly natural because we were human beings. Parents and men should understand that crying is NATURAL. Don't teach your child not to cry, or they will be ashamed when they do like I am today.
I remember being a kid (around 10) and talking about this boy that was 17 who was crying because he was heart broken and the girl I was talking to was like "Boys cry? I didn't know boys cried." and she was around 15. Even at the age of 10 it was a no brainer to me that this was such a stupid thought. It's a human emotion to get upset and cry of course they cry. Generally felt so confused about what she had said. So yes, for sure a lot of people apparently can't get their heads around it. The fact that people actually think like this and tell men to toughen up is not right. And I did grow up to see a lot of people holding this view hence why it's being discussed now. For sure men have been taught to hide their emotions and considered weak and silly if they don't. (By some people)
we can't express ourselves at least not in person unless you are me and got nothing to lose cause you got nothing to being with tears :( men are less emotionalbut we do have emotions but you know feminism and the satanic governmentmakes me speak out more and makes other bitch men stay quiet BUT FUCK THATthey deserved to be killed we got Obama the gay president who's wife has a dicknow we have Mr, Wig as president with a prostitute as a wifeand his daughter who looks like the next robotic sex machine for menthat will be released in 2020basically what im saying is fuck what people say but gotta go pre-order my sex bot so bye
It's not like it's sex ed, it's not taught. Simply schoolyard bullying is what "teaches" that, but any kid should learn sooner or later that their emotions can be used against them in more ways than one. If you can control your emotions, you can make them work for you.Men's emotions are expressed much more through actions and decisions, not just some airy-fairy emotional state where our hearts' all aflutter or whatfucking ever.My "emotion" is to crush my enemies and enforce my will. Girls' emotions are just a reaction to that.
Ugly truth 100%
It's a little bit of both.Men generally tend to be less emotional than women, and this is in a big part due to a difference in the proportions of hormones that their gonads produce: mostly testosterone in men, and estrogen in women. on to pof that, a lot of societies reinforce these behaviors.
They are taught to hide their emotions, the Acceptable Emotion for a Man is Anger... Sadly, that's what boys are raised to believe, then they get with us females and we want different... Being a 46 year old woman I do struggle with "Sensitive" Men because females from my generation were also taught a Real Man doesn't Show and Express his Feelings. I feel for Men you are in Catch 22, damned if you do damned if you don't!!!
I kinda get sick of the assumptions that men hide their emotions. They don't, they're biologically different and they deal with their emotions in a way which differs from women. The brain of a male is focused on solving the problem. He isn't surpressing any emotion, it's just not on his mind, he is so determined he'll solve the problem. (Also a reason why men don't like help in general)Whereas women will cry it out and rely on the help of a man in most cases.Men are amazing with separating emotions and rationality especially during difficult times, makes them great as a provider and a protector. Women's emotions are connected to their rationality which makes them great as a nurturer.
It's a combination thing I think. Men are less emotional, but not by much. And society teaches them that it's not a good look for them to show emotions that are seen as weak (crying, sadness etc). I see a lot of guys blaming the women for that tho. Funny part, I don't know any moms of boys that tell at their sons for crying. But I know dads that do. Hell, my dad didn't even like for us to cry. Men also blame women for not wanting "weak" men. How about blaming society for brainwashing you into thinking that showing emotion makes you weak in the first place?
Both.Girls have a separate set of issues that guys just don't have and what comes with those issues are an extra subset of emotions. Like a girl is much more likely to be insecure about her appearance, or her period, or how she looks doing certain things at a younger age than a guy would. But on top of that guys are generally told to not let their emotions get the best of them, because that's when you making brash, fearful, stupid decisions. Super intelligent people can be massive idiots, when they let their emotions take over. It's also worse when it happens to a guy, because the amount of damage he can cause. My guess that's a bigger reason why guys are taught that and girls less so. Because when you're older a guy is more capable of causing harm to others. So you REALLY don't want him to be emotionally out of control.
But the biggest assholes are surely those men who have no emotions or humbleness for the next person at all. It cannot be either or. The maintenance of healthy living should (in my opinion) consist of the confidence to be vulnerable and honest. The naked truth is the most beautiful of them all, considering all angles of the spectrum.
@SkyeMind There's certainly a line. There's being confident enough to express how you feel without concern of being judged, but there's also having the strength to keep it together if you choose. Someone who CAN'T keep it together and have no control over themselves is just another form of weakness. I'd rather be icey and de-attached from my emotions (because it's more useful), than let my emotions rule me any which way.The strongest place to be is to allow any emotion that comes up, to come. Accept them, experience them and move on. You're not a slave to them and you're not afraid to allow them in. You are in control.
YES!Omg. You took my thoughts straight out of my brain <3I find allowance of emotions when they come to be the only way to heal and move on. Not the lingering to depression and victimization, not the explosiveness to anger and vindictiveness, but the realization of whats happening and allowance of the vulnerability to be there. Then find your next step.Getting that out by it's own flow, and understand it, always leads to acceptance of the situation for me.
@SkyeMind *fist up* lol
@rjroy3 LOL! Damn right!
It's a combination of taught behaviours and natural disposition.Men communicate primarily on raw facts and events. Women communicate primarily on how they feel about facts or events and how they impacted them.It's a subtle difference that makes a big impact on how people carry themselves
Taught to "Man up" and "boys don't cry" that's ridiculous. Men are human too. I'm a woman and don't cry in public (Unless I can't contain it), not because I'm worried of what people will think etc, but because I like to be more private. Doesn't make me weak if I do it in public, though. Just means I'm alive and with emotions/feelings.
Its both. Men are definitely less emotional than women. Women have estrogen. Just like boys are taught to man-up, girls overly emotional behaviour is tolerated. Mental strength is necessary. It was required. Men had to be ready to defend and deal with harsh environments, hunt for food, build shelter etc. It requires emotional strength. Weak wouldn't survive long and be burden for rest. They were simply shaped by the environment. There is a difference between scale of emotions. Being overwhelmed for example or expressing what you feeling. Compared to "being emotional" crying over nothing. I would say boys WERE told to hide their emotions, things are changing now. But neither extreme is good. Girls should also be told to toughen up and stop being overdramatic, and boys shouldn't be forced to bottle up. Its not healthy. Both boys and girls should be able to express their emotions, but both should also be taught to toughen up. Emotional strength is necessary.
When I was a little girl, I showed my emotions too much that my parents said to me that I should learn how to 'hide my emotions'.I learned how to do it.I am still very emotional though, it's just that I don't cry in front of others, nor do I show much emotions, except joy.
Scientifically speaking, men are less emotional than women without question. Psychologists have been aware of this for a while. That doesn't mean they don't have emotions and emotional needs, on the contrary. Men are more susceptible to depression and anxiety than women.
I don't think that men and women are wired the same at all. Women think different than men. Women have their emotions very close to the surface whereas we men have layers built on top of our emotions.Our upbringing is to man-up and be tough, which just adds to keeping the emotions buried.
IT's the same stigma that keeps women down in today's society...Guys are expected to be strong and never let up, so they bottle up their emotions, and it never ends up well. It's also quiet ironic as guys see toughness and no emotions as attractive when in reality girls like men who are more sensitive. I hate crying and especially infront of people. I never had a dad so it was because of him.
I don't know about other people other than me and my brothers. No, I've never been told to 'man up', to hide my emotions or whatsoever for as long as I can remember. Do I show my emotions frequently? Yes. But not crying. It is a natural thing for me to not show them, frankly none of anyone else's business.
We're not as much taught it as find it pointless. People either don't care and shrug it off or do care and clam up. Neither offers emotional support so showing emotion is just an activity in working yourself up then burying everything. We're differently emotional not less.
Both. Men and women's brains are wired differently.newsroom.ucla.edu/.../more-evidence-that-male-and-female-brains-are-wired-differentlywww.learning-mind.com/.../
Yes we are taught to man up but hay its we are human after all there are always somethings some people, some places etc break our hear. For example :There is a smile on a father's face when his boy/girl gets awarded while he cries.But sometimes he smiles but cries from the inside. Yes we control our emotions but yes to it too that we cry
Men are though to hide their emotions. This is women's fault because women think of a guy as a "pussy" if he has an emotional side. Also studies have proven men are actually MORE emotional than women and that women exaggerate/lie about their emotions for various reasons.
In my upbringing I was raised by my 3 sisters , many of my emotions I got from them. So this hiding emotions is a little alien to me, many a lass has referd to me as romantic old softy, I took it at a compliment. Im not into this stiff upper lip no crying at all cost , crying is not manly. what a load of rubbish, it just comes across as heartless...
Ever seen your dad bursting out with tears? No, thats the defination of man, u are man, head of the family/ or would be, if u are torn emotionally into pieces how badly it will impact your family? No man must not show his sadness , shuold not cry , at least not in front of others
Nature vs nurture again, it is never only nature or nurture. crying doesn't makes you a girl but men are less emotional naturally.Woman do scientifically have emotional intelligence and statistically men cry less you can check it up online. Men and woman are equal, but different also ]and not identical. actually higher emotional intelligence is perk only society look down on it. So that makes woman better in this aspect.
It’s true to be mature for your age. Unfortunately it’s hard when you have a mental illness because the brain acts differently and it’s harder to show your emotions. People have to take into account that it’s not just because “they’re not showing their emotions” , its impossible when your in psychological pain. Also Depression affects millions of people and you can’t control being sad. So I don’t think raising your kids like that is such a good idea. It’s actually a bad idea.
Consider this...A man's world is driven more by logic whereas a woman's world is driven more by emotions.This is the main reason men and women can't understand some of the things the opposite sex thinks, says and does.And it is amazing we can get along with each other long enough to pro-create! lol
My Granada was a Commando I always looked up to him I never saw him show any tears we saw if he was happy but never any anger strongest his language got was "Damn My" so I never cried for years and just recently I have been suffering with being weepy all the time for no reason and I can't stop it but was told growing up big boys don't cry your a big boy now so you can't cry but like I said seems like all the grief and problems in my life have caught up with me
Neither. Men simply express their emotions differently. When people ask "why don't men express their emotions", what they're really asking is "why don't men express their emotions like women do". You're just asking the wrong question, OP
I think its a little more complicated than that. A lot of it can just be an emotional mindset. Stereotypically men are "suppose to be tougher" and show their strength and what not, but I dont think its necessarily taught, but maybe inherited from earlier generations. I personally am just a complex guy and I dont like to show my emotions because I dont want to be judged over them. So il bottle everything up and just be a grumpy bastard for a few hours
I think it's a little of both, think men are taught to not show it. But I think biologically they probably aren't as emotion compared to a woman. I say this because women have children and I think they are more emotional , (to bond to the baby for example)
I mean "don't be a pussy" was the lasting matto from my adults as a child. Pussy replaced with fag at times, but the meaning was the same. I'd say we have the same emotional responses as those pussies and fags... we just don't place as much validation on feelings and tend to make our calls/judgements on observable facts instead. That's the only long term effect I've seen from it.
You had good parents.
@somewheresomeway Sarcasm taken and yeah, it is what it is, a once upon a time normal treatment of a child which currently is frowned upon. ... and, has become too crass to even be on T. V. while other things like a couple laying in bed together has become accepted. Times has changed... meh. To the point though --> But it did achieve a certain goal or I'd rather say a certain education. What would usually take a law or science degree to teach some young adults, it was thought to a child through this... to be objective. By denying us the right to act like a 'bitch', we simply removed that from our day to day behaviors...There was a double standard between the genders when it came to that though. Current year, it seems that the 'new standard' for male behavior is that we should be more like Suzy. She's well behaved, sits still in class, and doesn't want to run around. Ignore that you're a boy, be more like her. Alcohol, video games, suicide... we are finding our escape from this.
Or if you're privileged enough... play dress up like the metro guy in the picture you used... it's like being straight but not really. We all know a guy like this. They think highly of themselves and are perplexed as to why most of us dudes are poking fun at them. See... he just doesn't understand that we think playing dress up is for girls. Not trying to be a dick with my last two posts... just trying to expose the upbringing and results of any such upbringings. Find 10 random dudes that grew up with single Mothers and 10 with Dads at home... starch differences between them become blatant when viewed side by side. Seems there is generational changes as well. But hell... teaching your kid to properly decapitate a man with a blade seems weird to me... but was once the normie thing to do. I won't judge them for what enabled them to succeed where so many others failed and no longer have any genetic legacy at all.
Dudes raised my single mothers can go one way or another. Some of them look for father figures in douchebags like gangster rappers and end up in jail. Others get ultra feminized and soft. The worse case scenario is when a boy is raised in two parent family where the mother wears the pants. He thinks that a whipped man is what women want. My family was SEMI like this (although my dad brought home the bacon). But feminism is pushing for that shit and it’s bad all around.
@somewheresomeway Yeah you brought to light an aspect I forgot to. The wrong "Dad" at home can equal some bullshit too. Also yeah, if not some gangsta rapper it'll be some bullshit dude or friend that is also a child (or dude molesting him) that becomes the Daddy. There's a reason everyone seems to be reaching out for a knowledge figure like Jordan Peterson to tell them how to get through this bullshit that is called a life. Dad is absent... sometimes even if he's there, other times... just wasn't a great example to follow.
you confuse emotional with sentimental. we are more emotional in the sense we act on subconscious instinct adn intuition and respond to emotions better. but men are more sentimental in the traditional sensitive romantic sense.
but have to supress it due to double standards.
I'm not sure. I'm secure in my masculinity so I show my emotions. I'm in the Marine Corps, I ride bulls, and I work on a ranch. Pretty manly stuff, but when I see a dead dog on the side of the road I show that I'm sad. If a good enough sad song comes on the radio, I cry without regards to whoever is around me. I feel what I feel. Ain't no sense in hiding it.
Sounds like a great balance. Keep being you!
Hey, just so you know I'd cry sometiems over being failed in a relationship, or ditched by girls, or even being refused. It upset me for a few days actually. The longest for me - I think it was last November - cried for 4 hours after this girl thought I was stalking her but I didn't. I liked her and wanted to establish a relationship with her but she was playing hard to get then trying to tell everyone I was a stalker. Now that sounds bitchy.
Men are taught to man up... but you also must keep in mind men process their emotions and problems differently, so crying doesn't have the same effect with men as it does women. Additionally personal opinion here, crying solves nothing, and only causes physical pain and sinus issues in me so I have a second reason for not crying.
I think it is also kind of physiological.. in average, men manage to control emotions better than women, by nature. I have seen this a lot at work. It is not about being less emotional, it is about self control.
Guys are emotional too. I think my male cousin has been crying more than me about recent events. I'm happy he feels comfortable.
And I bet he doesn’t do too well with girls
@somewheresomeway I don't know about his personal life, I'm sure he has his fair share of girls that like him. He is quite good looking.
It’s one thing if girls “like” him and it’s quite another if he’s actually getting with them. I was tall, blond, blue eyed and good looking in my early 20s too. But I was also emotional. I was rejected multiple times for it.
@somewheresomeway I've met one of his girlfriends, she was gorgeous. He's extremely social so I imagine, he sleeps with a lot I don't meet. He is pretty stoic usually, so I don't know. I don't mind emotional guys and if he wasn't my cousin, I'd be into him. Haha, that was creepy.
Well that’s speaking from the heart. If he has social skills that helps.
Its one of the things which is really hard to say, I dont know any investigation serious about it.In fact, its really difficult finding not gay men in a place of work which needs more feeling that mind.
I think men are discouraged to show emotion, women are discouraged to show sexuality. I firmly believe that men have just as many emotions as women, and women are just as sexual as men. We just deal with these aspects in different ways.
Both. Men are less emotional than women. People try and force men into a box because they don't want them to suffer because they are different from what a man naturally is on average.
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