I think "man up" is no longer understood these days. If you forcefully repress your emotions, I'd say you're doing it wrong, and you might be accumulating all kinds of stress inside that might lead to some sort of outburst.
"Man is not affected by events, but by the view he takes of them." -- Epictetus
That's how you man up. Take a man who is miserable and complains all the time about his life and often breaks down crying or gets angry easily. For him to "man up" doesn't mean to suppress those emotions. It means to start looking at things differently, to change your outlook on life so that you can become a productive individual rather than someone who dwells in agony over things no longer within their control (the past, e. g.).
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response." -- Viktor Frankl
"He is the most powerful who has power over himself." -- Seneca
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality." -- Seneca
For example, let's say a man is having a quarrel with his girlfriend. The girlfriend says some mean things and so the man gets angry and then upset and starts crying in front of her. That's when I'd want to tell him to "man up" as a shorthand, but it doesn't mean to just simply stop being angry and upset. It doesn't mean to force yourself to repress those emotions. That could be a very unhealthy thing to do.
"Man up" in this case means, "try to change how you are looking at things." For example, perhaps the man started throwing a temper tantrum and getting upset because he is thinking too much in an egocentric way. Because of that, when his girlfriend was moody and she said something mean to him, all he could think about is the damage to his ego and how she's treating him unfairly, and so he naturally gets very upset and angry given how he is looking at things and thinking about them.
However, if he could change his way of looking at the situation away from his ego and start focusing on her instead, he might realize that she had an unusually bad day, might be suffering from a menstrual mood swing, and that any mean-spirited thing she says isn't something she really means. In that case the man wouldn't find so many reasons to get upset and angry. He'd find reasons to forgive her, stay calm, and try to comfort her, maybe make her laugh and cheer her up a bit. That's the true way to "man up".
We're taught it because we have to. Society wouldn't have reached the point it has if it weren't for men setting our feelings aside in order to make the hard choices and perform the difficult tasks.
Men lead. People don't want to follow somebody unconfident. Men this have to hide our emotions because that's the only way shit gets done in times of crisis or emergency. When shit hits the fan there's no time to sit there and cry, it's do or die.
That is why men place that burden on ourselves. Not because it's fun by any stretch of the imagination, but because it is necessary to our suvival.
Emotions have nothing to do with gender.
We are conditioned to think men are less emotional.
Proof?
Anger is an emotion.
A man who gets angry is viewed as being tough, macho, a big deal etc.
Men's angrier / aggressive emotions are praised as a trait of masculinity.
In compare, women were praised for being soft and gentle, crying is cutesy, making us weak and damsel in distress - you know, so superman can save us and what not.
And then men marry us.
And the lion claws come out.
And then we are labled as "crazy" because society brainwashed everyone to think women are incapable of aggression and anger.
Likewise,
Men are all loud and volatile.
Then we marry them.
And the steel wall they were force to build comes down.
Then they are calmer, crying at Titanic and wanting snuggles instead of sex.
We freak out, thinking he is bored of us, cheating, or suicidal depressed - when he's totally fine. Actually better now that he can freely be, you know human...
But we are brainwashed, that its not "normal" for a man to you know, feel something.
Men get hurt as easily as women do.
They are just trashed for showing pain.
And ooooh... how excited and happy they feel when you do sweet things for them.
Men like flowers, especiall if its his favorite.
Men like surprise chocolates and candies.
They like nice clothes, jewelry, and talking.
Thoughtful attention to their personal details... etc.
I mean Woman literally means a man with a womb lol, which means-
Men are just women without wombs
xD
It's not that men are less emotional than women, they're just as emotional. It's that the way that men process information is different than the way women do. Yes, our particular society teaches men to act a certain way, but male brains process information in a very confined way. Things aren't interchangeable, and everything has a black and white definition, it's like the series of filing cabinets from A Series of Unfortunate Events, everything is sorted in a file for whatever reason and there it stays, regardless of any other information. Whereas, female brains, are like a spiderweb, everything connects, everything is interchangeable, and one thought instantly leads into another. To put it in perspective, the female brain processes information in the same way a panic attack or anxiety thought process does. A male brain processes information more procedurally and linear. So, in terms of emotions, a female brain with connect their emotion to, let's say, 50 different thoughts. A male brain might only connect it to 1, or a handful.
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I think it's a combination of both.
It's both.
We guys give each other a hard time when one of us is emotional. This happens early in life. Later on, women take over and give us a hard time when we act delicate.
But we're also less susceptible to our emotions, on average. Though, of course, we are still susceptible. Testosterone might have something to do with it. Guys who take exogenous testosterone (so as to have a higher test level than the average male) find themselves being more direct, and not as easily distracted by their emotions or others'. On the other hand, they're more prone to anger.
Both. And they are taught by WOMEN.
They do not have the same level emotions and feelings swirling around in their head like a woman does. Period. Men are more based in logic and reason. Their thought processes are different than a woman's.
And women, while claim to want a man to show weakness, emotion, but when he does she loses respect. Continued unabated she will come to loathe him, shut down sexually, bail cheat or any combination thereof. No, women look for men to be their emotional rock. Besides, you don't want him breaking down into tears every time you do, right? :)
I remember being a kid (around 10) and talking about this boy that was 17 who was crying because he was heart broken and the girl I was talking to was like "Boys cry? I didn't know boys cried." and she was around 15.
Even at the age of 10 it was a no brainer to me that this was such a stupid thought. It's a human emotion to get upset and cry of course they cry. Generally felt so confused about what she had said. So yes, for sure a lot of people apparently can't get their heads around it.
The fact that people actually think like this and tell men to toughen up is not right. And I did grow up to see a lot of people holding this view hence why it's being discussed now. For sure men have been taught to hide their emotions and considered weak and silly if they don't. (By some people)
It's half and half. Yes we are taught to to be strong and hold it.
As a normal human being not bent on following to the T what society tells me, I find that you need to have a good balance. When the family is looking to me I need to be strong. But I also need to be able to let it out or eventually I'm going to break down from the inside.
We evolved to have these feelings for a reason. To deny them would be counter-intuitive you know? A guy can still be manly and strong and yet cry about certain things in life or express strong feelings about things.
It's not like it's sex ed, it's not taught.
Simply schoolyard bullying is what "teaches" that, but any kid should learn sooner or later that their emotions can be used against them in more ways than one. If you can control your emotions, you can make them work for you.
Men's emotions are expressed much more through actions and decisions, not just some airy-fairy emotional state where our hearts' all aflutter or whatfucking ever.
My "emotion" is to crush my enemies and enforce my will. Girls' emotions are just a reaction to that.
It's a combination thing I think. Men are less emotional, but not by much. And society teaches them that it's not a good look for them to show emotions that are seen as weak (crying, sadness etc). I see a lot of guys blaming the women for that tho. Funny part, I don't know any moms of boys that tell at their sons for crying. But I know dads that do. Hell, my dad didn't even like for us to cry. Men also blame women for not wanting "weak" men. How about blaming society for brainwashing you into thinking that showing emotion makes you weak in the first place?
Both.
Girls have a separate set of issues that guys just don't have and what comes with those issues are an extra subset of emotions. Like a girl is much more likely to be insecure about her appearance, or her period, or how she looks doing certain things at a younger age than a guy would.
But on top of that guys are generally told to not let their emotions get the best of them, because that's when you making brash, fearful, stupid decisions. Super intelligent people can be massive idiots, when they let their emotions take over. It's also worse when it happens to a guy, because the amount of damage he can cause. My guess that's a bigger reason why guys are taught that and girls less so. Because when you're older a guy is more capable of causing harm to others. So you REALLY don't want him to be emotionally out of control.
I kinda get sick of the assumptions that men hide their emotions. They don't, they're biologically different and they deal with their emotions in a way which differs from women. The brain of a male is focused on solving the problem. He isn't surpressing any emotion, it's just not on his mind, he is so determined he'll solve the problem. (Also a reason why men don't like help in general)
Whereas women will cry it out and rely on the help of a man in most cases.
Men are amazing with separating emotions and rationality especially during difficult times, makes them great as a provider and a protector. Women's emotions are connected to their rationality which makes them great as a nurturer.
I'm going to say... probably a bit of both.
I wrote a paper a year or two ago on this topic. I don't remember all of the points I made, but I know for sure that men are taught to hide their emotions from a young age. It's definitely not healthy for them and in all honestly I think society is stupid for having such "rules" for men to be emotionless robots.
There are, however, certain men who I believe are naturally less emotional than some women. I'm not going to use absolutes, because not all men are non-emotional, and not all women are emotional. But I think there are some men, a larger proportion than of women, who are less emotional. It's simply because of nature; women are biologically more inclined to be nurturing and mothering, which can cause them to be more emotional because taking care of children often requires a certain understanding of emotions.
The fundamental reasons are: 1. Poker face: don’t reveal what you’re thinking or give away information too freely.
2. Emotions are contagious, so don’t drag others down.
Guys with low testosterone or depression tend to be moody, withdrawn. Too high T leads often causes hypersexuality and aggression. Average tends towards social, assertive but mostly mellow.
It’s a bad idea to simulate too often emotions you’re not experiencing because it looks fake.
Anecdote: Both my father and grandfather were mercurially-unstable, so I aimed to be even-keeled. In doing so, my grandfather would become further enraged because I didn’t loose my shit like he did, since that’s the way he learned conflict resolution: even more conflict.
A friend of friend mentioned a circumstance that seemed unnecessarily extreme: his friend “couldn’t” cry at his own mom’s funeral.
Both are true in some regards. There are plenty of expectations for men to be manly and many are taught that they need to be tough and manly. I was taught differently. I was taught that I ought to be a master of my emotions rather than allowing my emotions to master me. It's a valuable skill for anyone to have but men especially as they are often expected to be leaders in some context. A leader that is controlled by their emotions is a scary and dangerous thing.
On the other hand however, the male body produces hormones in smaller quantities than does the female body. In other words, yeah we feel emotions, but even our strongest emotions are usually less potent than a woman's strongest emotions. It's not a sexism thing is simply biology. Get mad or whatever it won't change anything.
I'd say a bit of both.
I can honestly say I'm not an emotional person. I can distance myself from emotions, and look at things from a logical standpoint. But I can have my points where I am inconsolable, and upset far longer than I should be.
It's how our brains are organized. We focus on one, or two things at a time.
I knew a guy, only child, raised only by his mom. Growing up he was extremely sensitive. You'd have to walk on eggshells around him. He was more sensitive than a lot of females I knew. But then he joined the marines, now I can say whatever around him, and not worry about hurting his feelings.
I think it varies. But regardless, how everyone handles their emotions is unique to them. But a lot of men bottle things up or only release when they are in complete solitude. I do think a lot of that has to do with how they're raised. But also, women are always seen as super emotional, which yes, we can be, but I think it's also the contrast between men that makes us seem that way. We are less likely to be taught not to express how we feel, so we seem very dramatic when we might just be having a normal reaction to whatever is going on.
I dont know what circle of hell did women get this tornado of misinformation but you can't teach no one emotions. Feelings you can hide. 2, he is taught to man up cause if he didn't hell be 30 years old playing action figures, crack jokes at funeral and draw on the walls say its art.3, genetically men are logical and women are more focused on what going on in there skull than reality. So if we get into a situation we dont have years worth of information on our minds, our feelings, the past the future. No, just the here and now and maybe the future ( introverts) women, there mind is time machine that can't stop traveling and they pay waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay waaay waaay to much attention to it and they give in to it. So not like men are heartless just we know when to cry, when to sob and when toget angry.
Guys are taught by society to be callous and girls are taught to be dainty. Its not like literally being taught by a teacher but media, your friends, etc all tell you "guys don't like girls who are butch, girls don't like guys who are pussies" and we all want to be liked and find people who'll want to fuck, so we believe it and start grooming ourselves to act a certain way.
You start thinking in your head "don't tell people all you know about guns, mma, and hunting or you'll get called a lesbian by your friends and you'll never get guys to like you."
Or "don't cry in front of anyone and take steroids to get jacked or you'll get called a beta pussy by you're friends and you won't get a girlfriend"
Its all lies motherfuckers! All lies! Be yourself! Fight the conformity!
Its both. Men are definitely less emotional than women. Women have estrogen. Just like boys are taught to man-up, girls overly emotional behaviour is tolerated.
Mental strength is necessary. It was required. Men had to be ready to defend and deal with harsh environments, hunt for food, build shelter etc. It requires emotional strength. Weak wouldn't survive long and be burden for rest. They were simply shaped by the environment.
There is a difference between scale of emotions. Being overwhelmed for example or expressing what you feeling. Compared to "being emotional" crying over nothing.
I would say boys WERE told to hide their emotions, things are changing now. But neither extreme is good. Girls should also be told to toughen up and stop being overdramatic, and boys shouldn't be forced to bottle up. Its not healthy. Both boys and girls should be able to express their emotions, but both should also be taught to toughen up. Emotional strength is necessary.
I don't know where it comes from, I've just never liked to cry in front of people. It is embarrassing. I can remember tripping on the playground while running at school (maybe 2nd grade) and skinny up my elbows and it stinging and burning so bad and I started to feel tears welling up and then realizing I was on the verge of crying and then just gathering myself 8 year old self and sucking them all back in. It is just natural to not show too much of your deep feelings in front of the general public. Maybe in private alone or with someone close. That's it. It would have to be really traumatic to cause me to lose it in public, like a wife or child dying or something.
Yep, pretty much. As a kid I would go overly sensitive about things and cry, my Dad would get absolutely pissed off and ask me if I was a sissy or such. Basically I was taught that unless I was physically hurt I was not to cry.
There was some good that came out of that though, because I've learned that showing a poker face can be beneficial at times. Not to mention that when things piss me off it's really good to be able to filter it out instead of just becoming emotional.
So there are some benefits.
Honestly, thats one dumb thing... boys cry regardless whats it about, maybe once or twice a year but they do. Don't really care.
I know from myself that im more emotional than most of us. Yes I cry like a little bitch on emotional stuff when its about. I don't get it why is crying an argument nowadays when boys cut their dicks off to be female and having unhuman things done in the world and one of them is crying? Like come on.
Yes I cry upon sad things, thats who I am, at least I feel not like the broom haired fuckbois who wants to be the best soiboi in the village.
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