What do women mean when they say: Tall, Dark and Handsome?

Hey, so I've been reading up on this site ( I'm fairly new), and when women are asked what they find attractive (physical-wise) most of you say tall, dark, and handsome and I can't be the only guy wondering what's actually meant by this and how I fit in.

Tall: I know this is subjective but what constitutes as tall ( I'm 5'11 is that considered tall?)

Dark: Does that mean hair colour, eye colour, skin tan or all of the above? ( I have brownish hair, would that still be considered dark or does it have to be black?)

Handsome: What makes a man handsome to you?

Lastly, if you could only pick one of the above traits for your partner which would it be and why?


Most Helpful Girl


    Tall: that depends on the girl really. I men if the girl is tall say 5 feet 10 inches then the guy would need to be taller then that. Most of the time if the girl is average then yes something like 5 feet 11 inches is tall but again it depends on each girls idea of tall. I like my guys between 5 feet 10 inces and 6 feet 4 inches.

    Dark: Mysterious looking. Or exciting looking. Can also mean have a "bad boy" look or a confident sexy look. When most girls say dark they are referring to the attitude the guy seems to have. Not the skin hair or eye color.

    Handsome: That's different with every girl. To me it would be nice arms, taller then me ( 5 feet 10 inches or up to 6 feet 4 inches.) short hair, nice teeth.

    If I could pick only one then it would be tall. I like to be able to look up into my guys eyes, and I like to be able to lean into him when he is holding me with out having to worrie about hitting his head. lol

    • hmm it seems pretty well every girl wants her man to be taller, would a guy being a bit shorter than her be a deal-breaker?

    • Show All
    • Thanks :)

    • welcome

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 13

  • This is just me but here it goes... 5'11 would definitely be tall to me since I'm only 5'! If I said dark (this is just me...) I'd be talking about mystery. I don't want my guy to be 2D and boring, I'd rather him have substance, intelligence, and a not-completely-obvious side to him. Handsome comes in many different forms depending on the girl. For me, intellegence and kindness is one of the most important parts of "handsome." Looks come in somewhere but typically not at the top. So really, I would pick handsome, but only by my definition, first. Don't worry, you'll be fine :)

    • wow I was pretty off on what I thought dark was, thanks for the advice :)

  • Tall - good stature and shoulders and posture play into this, and when I say tall I mean in comparison to the girl at least (because this is subjective depends on whether the girl is 5'0 or 5'8)

    For me (5'4 and a half) I'd say tall would be over 5'9 at least..

    Dark - I've always thought this meant dark hair. Black or brown or 'dark'. I've NEVER associated this with skin colour, but speaking of skin colour a normal or not pasty pale is best I find.. tanned is alright..not extreme tan though...

    Handsome - speaks for itself..depending on girl.. basically as asthetically pleasing facial structure or even 'average' - the 'dark' and 'tall' can make average look very handsome!

    celebrity examples of 'tall, dark and handsome' (in my perception of the term at least)

    Ryan Reynolds -


    Ashton Kutcher -


    James Lafferty


  • All of those basically comes from us reading too many historical romance novels :)...all of 'em have heroes portrayed as such...so we women are pretty much brainwashed...

    Tall: to me, because I'm Asian, 175cm or 5 feet 9 inches would be considered tall.

    Dark: To me, it's mostly about the skin colour. Most Asian men especially in my part of the world have this sexy caramel toffee coloured skin. Yummm...

    Handsome: This is very subjective...to me, it is the combination of both of the tall and dark traits as well as a pleasant personality.

    Lastly, I'd pick tall because being a shorty like I am, I'm all about feeling secure and protected by much taller men.

    • Yes!! Finally someone agrees with me that is exacally how I feel because I think short girls should date tall guys cause I'm short myself and I really like the company of a taller man

  • Tall: Yes, you are tall. Generally, women just want a man who is taller than them. I'm 5'1, for instance. I am perfectly fine with a man being 5'3 or taller.

    Dark: Generally, when I think about this as not necessarily being black or brown, but that you don't look like you have never seen the sun.

    Handsome: Different women find different things to be handsome. Every man is handsome in his own way ;)

    Choosing from any of these is ridiculous. If I HAD to, like there was no way to know about personality, then I would pick handsome, considering I don't really care how tall or dark you are. But really, personality is the key.

  • Yes 5'11 is tall! I consider anyone 5'9 or over tall. But this is just a cliche. I like plenty of guys who aren't "tall dark and handsome." Guys with blond hair and light skin are attractive too! As for handsome, just guys with nice skin and hair and proportiante features. Like movie stars.

  • It will range from girl to girl. Tall for me - at least 6 ft, because I'm tall myself. Dark - for me, I like dark hair and am really into dark complected guys, especially latin guys - most girls would just consider it dark hair, maybe tan. handsome - obviously it ranges from person to person. I like nice smiles, shoulders and shoes lol

  • Tall is obvious...tall. Dark can mean multiple things: facial features like eyes, skin, or personality. When I would read books "tall, dark, and handsome" always meant that the character had an air of mystery or allusiveness. Handsome, well like others have said is subjective.

  • Because I like boys who are not to short but up to my chest or the same height as me o r tall light skin with lots of hair

  • when I say it I mean someone like tyrese or something. 5'11/6ft or taller

    dark chocolate skin

    nice body

    appealing looking face

    i think everyone might have their own definition tho

  • Tall-- 5'10 and up would be ideal

    if not, taller as me is fine which is 5'6

    Dark -- dark hair definitely. dark eyes are a plus too

    Handsome -- this is subjective.

    only one -- tall

  • 5'11 is tall. I am with someone who is 5'9 so just as long as he is taller than me.

    and I am 5'3.

    dark, dark = dark hair style. mysterious, he has to wear clothes that aren't flashy (lime green tshirts etc). black/dark brown hair. And dark brown/brown eyes. and yes my guy is like this.

    handsome= not too much face blemish (acne, or scars), straight nose, eyes etc.

    it would have to be... all three but more so the height because I notice that right away.

  • To me, tall dark and handsome=

    For height, I just mean fairly taller than me. I am a short girl, so for me any guy 5"8 and above is pretty decent.

    Dark=not ghostly white, some skin color. Doesn't mean he has to be dark-dark, and also means brown hair and brown eyes.

    Handsome=hard to describe/very subjective. But when I picture the face of the tall dark and handsome type, I picture someone with a chiseled slightly stubbly jawline, no "bad features" (acne, bad nose/ skin/teeth etc), big bright smile with good teeth, nice and even-looking features.

    I know some guys with this look, but I can't think of any celebrities with it offhand. It is the most appealing-the way my dream man would look

  • Tall: My height or taller.

    Dark: I love dark hair and dark eyes :) I also like tan skin, but I like it just as I like any other skin color. I like all skin types, really.

    Handsome: Nice arms, nice hair, and an impeccable smile. I love all sorts of body types, I'm not a huge fan of overly fit guys (but they would probably feel the same about a girl like me lol). I love all types of hair, curly, straight, wavy, thick, thin; but I REALLY like darn hair.

    To be handsome you also have to have the "handsome" personality. That means you have to be kind, respectable, bright, knowledgeable, positive, loyal, faithful, honest, funny, and charming. Most importantly he has to be loveable :)! Generally, my views are really broad. Any guy who can fit some of the " handsome personality" qualities, is probably a good match for me.

    Basically, in other words, I'm only attracted to nice guys :P


What Guys Said 2

  • Tall, dark, and handsome is a metaphor for the perfect guy.

    He doesn't have to be Shaq's height or Jordan's skin tone, he doesn't even need the comedian skills of Robin Williams.. He just has to be the right guy in the right place at the right time.

    Obviously you're looking for more than that as an answer, so I'll list of traits which I believe women find more attractive that anyone could possess:

    - White as rice and your out of the books, dark as the ground and you look like dirt.. A mix inbetween is perfect.

    - Seriousness is too stern but laughter is too crazy.. A mix inbetween yet again.

    - Patience, acceptance, morals and boundaries.. Know when not to take offense as well as when to stand up for yourself.

    - Comedy is always good.

    - Persistance with respect.. Push to get her attention but try to be weary of how much you might be annoying her.

    - Never self-mutilate yourself for trying - Never think your "not enough"

    - Don't be a sleeze ball of a boyfriend, take care of what you can and show appreciation for what she does.


    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • not sure who thumbed this down it was a good answer (shrugs shoulders*)

    • Wow you really know girls well. Nice answer. Very very impresed.

  • watch sex and the city and be Mr. Big. Problem solved.