He's everything I ever wanted... but I don't love him?

[snowy88]

so here's the story:

my first boyfriend broke up with me after a year- I loved him so incredibly much, we started back at uni and I was having a tough time seeing my ex around - it being awkward - a guy friend (not particularly close at the time) looks after me - we kiss and get together. He's perfect. Considerate, loyal, friendly, sweet, fun... probably better for me than the last bf... but I just don't feel I love him... and I don't know why- because he's great! the only complaint I have is that he's round here a little too often (clingy) but that maybe because the last guy hardly ever saw me ...

what do I do?

I know he loves me... he always tells me- but I feel guilty!

x

[Belgie]

Your friend, the one you think is everything you wanted, is in the friend zone.

There is no way out of the friend zone.

You can't feel attraction for him, because he's not acting like a man around you. He's acting like a male version of one of your girlfriends.

If (and it's a big if, because most girls couldn't be arsed making the effort) but IF you want to try to change that, you need to tell your friend that he's not acting like a man. He's acting like a wuss. He's being too clingy, too needy, etc... And that if he was more of a man, you could feel more attracted to him. Even if this means that you guys occasionally disagree on things, or even fight. I'd be willing to bet that right now, if you said you wanted to watch movie "A" and he wanted to watch movie "B", then he'd cave, and you'd both watch movie "A". Am I right?

It's marginally possible, that if you were willing to help him change his nature towards you, you might just get to the stage where you feel attraction for him. But to do that, he won't be the same type of friend that you have today.

(That's why most women don't try to get the guy out of the friend zone. They like the friend thing.)

[Masiah]

hey..i know you think you don't love him. But believe me if u'd try to get in a relationship with him then it'll be great. Bcoz if u'd say him that you don't love him then obviously he is gonna have some other girl friend sooner or later and then he'll care for her more and then probably you are gonna miss him alot, because he is really caring. The one thing I think is not good with you guys is that he seems to me a little more cariing for u. If anyways you guys would make it with each other, I'd like to suggest you to keep some space from each other. As it has been said that fences are good for a better relationship with neighbours. So just keep it in mind.

Take care

[01bimmer85]

Don't feel guilty.. it is what it is.. BUT you DO NEED to tell him.. and I don't mean to be rude... but you are Under 18... I don't think you fully KNOW what you want yet... every girl wants her prince charming until she realizes he does have faults and your guy just seems to be clingy which CAN be a bad thing from time to time... it actually pushed me away from all my guys... now I'm 26 and I want that clingy guy... I want him to want to go with me o my tournaments and leagues and well the guys that are at these places already I am NOT interested in... know what I mean? talk to him and see wha he says.. Good Luck

[snowy88]

actually, I'm 21! The age on here is wrong because this sin't my account it's my sisters.