How would you tell if he's cheating?

[jazminburchell03]

Don't sugarcoat how would you answer your sister or mother if she asked

[humanearth]

Does he say "I love you but I'm not in love with you."

If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a cheater will say.

Do you feel your partner is…

Controlling
Dismissive of your feelings.
Is financially irresponsible
Not spending enough time with you or your family.
Rejecting you sexually.
Working too much.
Not working with you as a couple to make the relationship better

"We are just friends." This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheater. If your partner is spending more and more time with this new "friend"; then there is probably more to it than mere friendship.

As a sudden need for privacy.

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. They may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden.

"I need some space to figure out my feelings." If he is involved with someone else he will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work.

I have more to add but running out space

[jazminburchell03]

Feel free to add in replies or message it to me I want to hear everything

[humanearth]

Say they're regular work habits change. Working late is a great cover for a cheater who is having an affair. If your man is suddenly has to work late after years of coming home at a certain time then I would say it is safe to be suspicious that something other than work is going on. Another one suddenly has to go out of town for work and never did before.

Is he spending a large amount of time on the computer or cellphone. Today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.

Have you noticed secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone.
Affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find you find him hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

His behavior that just doesn't add up. Not being where he was expected to be. Missing time he can't explain. Money that isn't accounted for. Receipts for things you don't have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day.

You have your own fears and suspicions. Why of couse that's why you asked this question. Your own fears and suspicions
If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse's behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign.

I this help I was cheated on many times by my ex-wife and these were the warning signs I ignored. Please don't be like me and let the pain build.

[jazminburchell03]

I've been with him for 6 years and i have had suspicions for a long time but been unable to place their source or what exactly I'm looking for I do know one of my biggest tip offs is him accusing me of it all the time. Especially in arguments

[humanearth]

Yeah thats a classic move of a cheater. Thats right up there with needing more space.

[jazminburchell03]

Ty for your input I appreciate it very much

[humanearth]

Do you two live together

[jazminburchell03]

Yes we do

[humanearth]

Have you noticed any of these signs

[jazminburchell03]

Some but not all. Mostly the rejecting me sexually but he doesn't outright reject me he likes to look at porn. All. The. Time. Our sex is devoid of intimacy and is very I don't know impersonal and it leaves me not only unsatisfied but also feeling unattractive and empty

[humanearth]

Wow that's bad. Treats you like a sex doll and when he is done with you. He puts you back in the closet.

I don't mean to sound blunt. But it sure sound like you are being cheated on.

[jazminburchell03]

I've gotten to the point where I don't actually care as much if he is or isn't any more just want to learn better what to watch for next time. I've tried to tell him how detremental it is to a woman to feel desired Especially from her so and instead of listening he gets defensive like I'm telling him he's not satisfying but the motions of his sex is good and all and he is definitely good at what he but it's not enough alone Especially to a long time partner. I've recently figured out that he's not getting defensive he's pivoting and distracting me from what I'm trying to tell him because he doesn't really care. Things have been put into action for me to leave pretty soon so I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so I can never feel like this again

[humanearth]

Good start by stashing money. So you have ready to leave money and keep it a secret from everybody he knows. Only tell the people closest to you that he don't know well or not at all. They can be a great asset to have in your corner.

Well I have to go. If You ever need more help on this topic. Just send me a message.

[jazminburchell03]

Will do Ty again have a good day

[humanearth]

Your welcome and I try to make the best of the day I can have.

[Redstang88]

To be honest, you really can’t. Most of the signs that girls think are a dead giveaway are total nonsense. Most of the guys I know cheated on their girl were completely undetected until caught red handed.

[jazminburchell03]

Ok so what are some signs that wouldn't be so obvious to a woman but as a man you've seen in other men or have done yourself

[Redstang88]

Girls are way more likely to pick up on that sort of stuff, we only find out because our buddies tell us or we catch them

[MotherEarth2020]

Look for sudden changes in behavior or not wanting to spend time with you. This could also just be him loosing interest. Staying out or away longer or more frequently than before. Becoming secretive.

[spartan55]

Just pay attention to what he is doing, look for anomalies. Don't look through his phone unless it is the final piece of the puzzle, because that could backfire big.

[corporateDrone]

Distant, on his phone a lot and turns down sex. If a man is passing on sex it's a big red flag.

[distressedanonymus]

Best a simplest way is leave your phone at home one day on a a date and ask him"can I use your phone to call mine, I don't know where I left it? And reach for his phone.

If he flinches and hides his phone or makes up and excuse to not let you use it, he's cheating.

Best and surefire way to tell.

[Iron_Man]

I would just lay it on the line and tell it like it is. If you think he's cheating on you than dump him like a bad habit

[DWornock]

Since no man can convince his SO that a child he sired by another women is her biological child, it doesn't much matter if a man cheats; only if a woman cheats.

[jazminburchell03]

Irrelevent and untrue. It matters because it's painful, it matters because it is a betrayal, it matters because people kill themselves because of the pain of it. Sex is so much more than birthing children and you know it don't come here with insensitive b. s. to be ugly I can tolerate an ugly truth but ugliness is ugliness and you sir are ugly for that mindset of yours

[DWornock]

It only matters, if you let it matter. Throughout human history that is how it is always been.

[GreenGold1992]

staring at other women

[jazminburchell03]

I see. I hear a lot of people defending that about how it's natural for a man to look? Do you disagree

[GreenGold1992]

Yes I disagree

I mean of course it's natural for a man to look at other women every once in while, but not so often enough as to barely pay any attention to the lady he's with.

[jazminburchell03]

I appreciate that. You got anything else?

[GreenGold1992]

How about lying a lot?

[jazminburchell03]

Yea I hear that even about small little things

[ErikKantor]

How would you tell if SHE is cheating?

[jazminburchell03]

She starts to get distant almost unwelcoming of physical contact that was normal. Seemingly everything you do will begin to annoy her even things that she used to find charming. She will start mentally comparing you to the new guy and start putting you down. It's not uncommon for women to receive gifts from a man so you might notice new things clothes, jewelry. She'll likely start doing things in the bedroom that she's never done with you before. Where she once was almost clingy she now seems distant. She'll have trouble keeping up with her cover-up lies and will probably try to portray it as memory problems. You may notice her gas tank is burning up faster than usual. A sudden change in her hygiene practices or her "style" meaning her clothes the way she wears her make up and things like that. She'll seem distracted when you're talking to her. She might pick up slang you've never heard her use before and that you don't use yourself. Her friends and family may begin to act differently because of whatever she's told them to justify her behavior if you listen you will probably catch them repeat some of it. She may have cravings for foods you've never seen her eat before. You may notice new music in her playlist that either isn't her usual type of music or that you've never heard before. She may even pick (back) up (new) bad habits such a drinking or drugs. I'm sure I'll think of more later

[ErikKantor]

With such an elaborate answer there is no need to ask us :)

[jazminburchell03]

That's not true. If there was no need I wouldn't have asked. I'm looking for a man's take on a man's mind and thought process particularly a cheating man or a man that is thinking about it or is going to cheat. And if possible for a explanation on why and how a cheating man thinks and does to make some sense. I know a woman's mind set because I've been a woman for a long time now but I know although we aren't so different in a lot of ways that we definitely are different

[ErikKantor]

Well. there can be multiple fabricated reasons for a man to cheat but the signs will still be the same.
But what you should look out for is manic reasons to check their phone in privacy and generally distancing their self from their spouse.
You seem like a smart girl, and if you would follow your instincts i believe you wouldn’t be that far off in your analysis.. if it helps

[jazminburchell03]

I do understand that men are individuals I just want to hear the unadulterated truth that the internet provides often when I talk to men in person they want to soften the harshness for me or avoid the subject all together but the real world don't soften no harshness and avoids nothing for nobody. Ever I just want to have some REAL feedback I don't have any brothers so sometimes I wanna go crazy when I feel men trying to make it easy on me and try to save my feelings but I know they mean well but u know what I mean. I want to get past the b. s. my feelings might get hurt but so what I'll move past it much much faster than the hurt of a lie or a half truth to "protect" me.

[ErikKantor]

Aha.
Fact if the matter is that we have grown tired of all the bitching and moaning and all we want is a great fuck. ;)
Happy?

[jazminburchell03]

No not happy but I appreciate it regardless but I've altogether came to that conclusion alone but a great fuck is only great so many times so are u telling me that men honestly don't want or care for anything beyond that? That the discard is inevitable?

[ErikKantor]

Now you are just putting words in my mouth, that’s not what I said at all.
My point is solely that guys often care more about the physical part of a relationship rather than the intellectual. And when the intellectual part is absent we tend to get physical.

[jazminburchell03]

I guess I did kind of word that like I'm trying to put words in your mouth and I apologize for that but I don't get to have this conversation at all so with that being said it's hard for me as a woman as we are naturally much more emotionally driven to wrap my mind around y'alls ability to have and maintain loveless and thoughtless sexual relationships. I dont wanna say it's impossible for women to have loveless sex everyone has one night stands but I would go out on a limb and say it's pretty close to impossible to maintain those relationships without our brains doing what they do. As women it starts to become unsatisfactory dehumanizing and flat out dry the pussy up without the emotion that we crave. It's just difficult to grasp but not impossible I guess that's why they say to watch who u sleep with especially for women because everything is happening inside of your body it's indescribable how that affects everything in it. I don't know where im going with this anymore or how I even expect u to respond to it but the fact that it is so hard for me to understand makes me want to know what y'all think and go through so much more.

[ErikKantor]

I feel the same miss..

[ErikKantor]

But my “problems” are my own, and i don’t share them with anyone especially not the ones i care about

[Anonymous]

His dick smells like pussy.

[Anonymous]

If he's acting like a dumbass