He stopped all contact with me. What do I do? Please help me.

Question

Okay so I was dating this guy for 5 months. My longest relationship. He does this thing where he will tell me he loves me and then randomly stops talking for exactly one week. I am one of those people who get worried because I have a problem with people not telling me why they won't talk to me? Who doesn't? Yet if you tell me I'm fine there is no problem. I recently just met him and stayed the night with him. On my way home he is texting me saying he loves me etc but then the next day I text him saying good morning then at 1 he says sorry I was still sleeping. Which is normal. BUT then stopped all contact with me. He won't text me, won't call, and I'm just getting pissed off. He has done this TO many times, not there for me when I need him most, I just don't know. I KNOW he isn't cheating because his mom talks to me and all his friends. What should I do move on? Wait? or just see what happens

Help me get over this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ask him what his deal is. Just send him a message stating how you feel. If it's pissing you off, say it's pissing you off. Communication is key here. I had a boyfriend who would constantly ignore me when I needed to talk to him, it always pissed me off. I'd send him message ranting about how angry I was, yet he'd never reply back. Then in the end, I'd take the blame for him so HE didn't feel bad.

I would wait, just go out with your friends, go to a store, prank call someone, make yourself a smoothie, sit in bed all day, watch reruns, hell, why don't you invest in a video game console and start getting into gaming? It's a good way to let out some anger at times, you can make some really good friends, and you'll have something to keep your mind off of him. In short, whatever floats your boat! (:

If you ask me, he sounds like a douche bag for ignoring a lovely girl.

You can move on, but I would just wait to see what happens next. Who knows? Maybe something's bothering him. You certainly didn't do anything wrong as far as I can tell, anyone would react the same way being ignored for no reason. It's your choice. Best wishes. (o:

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

How can he do that? Fair enough if you werent in like a relationship but 5months is quite a while if you see them all the time and if its your longest too! He can't be doing that, it messes with your head and I absolutely hate it, mind games! You honestly need to stand your ground, tell him that its not fair and you won't be treated like this, bring up the fact he says he loves you, why would he ignore his girlfriend who he claims to love? I've been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half months now, my first proper relationship, he's told me he's in love with me too so if he just stopped speaking to me for over a week all the time, it would drive me insane! its not fair for people to treat you this way with no explanation, it honestly messes you up! Happens to me all the time they just stop for no apparant reason! Men are so stupid at times I honestly don't understand half their logic behind things but just tell him how you feel if he carries on finish it! I know its hard but you can't go on having to put up with being treated that way with your own boyfriend! Hope everything works out x

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You should be getting angry with him. You have every right to say, "HEY! What's with the disappearing acts? What kind of game are you playing?" Or something like that. Then, you drop him.

I think the guys on this board are right about him possibly seeing someone else. I was dating a guy for almost a year, and sometimes he would call everyday, but conveniently be "unavailable" on weekends, or his "phone died". In reality, he had a girlfriend for three years and I was his sidepiece! I was devastated and dumped him immediately. He had the nerve to win me back. I never spoke to him after that. (His mom and friends talked to me too. Never once mentioned he had a girlfriend.)

You've only been seeing him for five months, so I don't really think there is a lot to "get over". You're lucky that you are catching on to this early.

islands7 · Accepted Answer

There was this one guy

that would go on adventures with other gals that his main squeeze was not to know about.

He found what worked best for him was

a) slience was his best ally, not even his family knew

b) saying ILU before he disappeared seems to keep his squeeze on ice long enough for things to be cool when he returned

What to do?

Dump him & shop for anything better.

There was this other guy

that was so into himself, e.g. long soliloquies about him, his problems, etc. and all attempts to change the subject failed

that he was never available for others' problems

in fact, he might create problems by just doing what he wanted, when & where.

Illustration: he borrows your (whatever) w/o asking, you need it today!, so you call him, he doesn't call back for a week, then gives sorries but does not change his habits.

What to do?

You can continue to trust him with your least valuable possessions, thoughts, emotions, free time, anything that if lost is no big deal. You shop for someone that values your prized (whatever) and emotions ... it's not this guy.

Myth024 · Accepted Answer

My parents will be celebrating 40 years of marriage this coming August so pardon me if 5 months doesn't seem like enough to base a long term commitment on, lol. You are talking about finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, so why settle with second best. There is no reason why you should put yourself through any unnecessary pain. Although I don't know this guy, from the outside it seems that he only bothers with you when he gets what he wants from you. You have to remember that you have value and that value isn't dependent on how others see you, but only how you see yourself. If you are not being treated as a gift to be cherished and appreciated, I feel you should look elsewhere. Don't forget, if finding the right person was easy, then we might never learn to appreciate it when we find it.

onfire4u · Answer

Unfortunately, after a moment of sexual intimacy, a man is more apt to use the love word.  I have been married now for 22 years, and men just have this selective listening pattern that they go through.  It's their way of turning their emotions off like a switch. But honestly, the fact that they do that is because they are feeling something and don't want to admit it or to voice it and maybe they can't quite put their finger on it!  He could be just as confused about it as you are.  If you approach him in a way that in non-offensive then I am sure you will get the answer you are seeking.  Start off by not being overtly concerned over the issue.  Give yourself time to think about his actions and then decide what you are going to change in your own behavior.  Sometimes females can get a bit sensitive.  He may be the type that needs his space.  Your relationship is still new, and he may not even see how deep into it  that you are.

Anonymous · Answer

Are you still with him? My ex boyfriend is exactly the same way and so we end up breaking up. It makes me insecure. I know this is just the way he is. He just doesn't like to keep in touch with anybody not even his family. All he do is play games at home. But this is driving me crazy. When we start going out, he was super sweet and attentive. But that only lasted for 3weeks. We dated for 2months and he dump me because he prefer his alone time. We still work together once a while and he looks like he still into me. I try to ask him out again but he turn me down. Guess he still not ready. All my friends told me that I should move on because if we get back together I would suffer again.

bdoran24 · Answer

ask him what's going on but no text call him.   I in long distance and if my girlfriend doesn't text or call me in a 24 hour period I get supper worried.  if he tell you  you didn't call or I was busy  it may be time to move on. because when you need him most he's not now or ever going to be there for you. I take calls from my girlfriend at 3 am because I am there for her.

kimsparrow · Answer

if this happened to me... I would stop trying so hard to contact him while secretly stalking him. if he has true feelings for you then he should get curious and maybe worried. get HIM to talk to you first. I'd do this and see what happens... then if things don't work out anyway then he isn't worth your time and attention.

lericah · Answer

Well try contacting him. It makes us feel weird if we have to respond more than once. He texts you text back and forth. If he's not talking to you after this I think he's just looking for sex. Mom wouldn't know what he's thinking on this and his friends might not be in the loop.

devotedlyopinionated · Answer

Talk it out with him, he probably has some weird thing he does when it tts serious in a relationship, maybe he's nervous about loving you, who knows? Oh wait, him. Just talk to him, ask him about it and see if you can work out a way to know when he's going to do this, break him out of it, or figure out a way to appease the both of you.

diabloknk · Answer

How old is this dude and he's still playing games with you? He doesn't seem emotionally stable. I say he needs counseling - and it's up to you to be there with him through that, or just get the hell out. I recommend the second option - 5 months isn't all that long of a relationship, and you probably don't want to go through all that crap for a dude you've been dating for 5 months.

girlaskin · Answer

girl get out of that relationship. There is something seriously wrong with him. What he is doing is not normal. This is gonna drive you crazy. 5 months is nothing get out of it before it 1 year or 2 year and your absolutely in love and stuck with him.  He obviously has poor communication skills and you should not wait around for his texts or calls. That's not a relationship.  MOVE ON.

Anonymous · Answer

I just got out of a relationship like this..if its happening now, then more than likely will continue happening unless you put your foot down.  My ex would ignore me constantly for no reason for days at a time.  He would tell me he loved me and even manipulated my mind into making me think he was the one and I ended up losing my virginity to him.  Anyway, put your foot down and ask him what the hell is up.  You are still semi-early in the relationship. stand your ground and do NOT let him run over you.

bbygirl5 · Answer

just wait and enjoy your life in the meantime! when he dosnt get a text he will wander what's up dw! I'm in that situation now its horrible but I feel its better when my mind is on other things :) hel come chasing soon :)

pinkkitty22punx · Answer

Okay  don't  text  him or  call him... you seem  needy  let  him get back to  you

luciaa · Answer

Sounds like he is up to something. I would move on.

gehanmeme · Answer

gon on he loves you but he feels that you lie on him or you do something wrong... give him the trust and move on

Shortiegirl21 · Answer

Don't talk to him let him know how it feels to be on the other end of a none existing conversation

SkyBlossom · Answer

Sounds like a vampire, the loser kind. Move on.

alex01 · Answer

Move on! Life is too short, he has issues!

papercut272 · Answer

drop him like a rock

Anonymous · Answer

Just ignore him

He stopped all contact with me. What do I do? Please help me.

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