Is it common for guys to open up to their female friends, but not their families and male pals?

[anon1903]

is it? guys normally tell me they have never talked to anyone of this and say stuff. my female friends don't do that so its confusing.

[Maraneva]

I have one female friend who knows stuff that my family doesn't know, that my guy best friends don't know and will never know.
A close female friend (in my opinion and experience) is a lot less likely to be judgmental and there's a lot less fear of getting laughed at or mocked if something wrong was said or done.
And what I've experienced is that, sometimes I don't even open up first. She'd be talking about something bad or good that happened to her and if I had a similar experience, I'd just start talking about it to her and slowly it'd lead to me letting her know about some secret that I probably never told anyone else because the probability of that conversation with a guy friend or family would be so less.
And after a certain time, there's this tipping point after which, that particular female friend becomes the guy's go to girl. No one else seems to be empathetic enough. Anything to be shared needs to be shared with her and her only. Quite honestly, I've come to that stage with that friend of mine. No complaints though because I've become that guy for her as well. It's just a natural part of a close friendship I guess.

[Almostoverit]

Men are brought up to not complain, take it like a man, don't express any feelings that can be considered weak. For a man, being the strong silent type is often looked upon with respect by his peers and even his family. Female friends who are not necessarily a romantic interest can sometimes represent an outlet for that. A guy doesn't necessarily feel the need to fear vulnerability with a female friend. It could also means he trusts the person he is sharing with enough to be vulnerable around her.

[Unit1]

This is it!

[suzysuzy]

Yes. My guy friends open up to me, it's always been that way. I think that it is because they feel they need to be a certain way with their guy pals to fit in. They probably feel a woman would listen and be supportive as women stereotypically are more sensitive whereas men have this pressure on them to always be strong. It's possible they were raised that way also in which case they wouldn't show "weakness" to their family either. I think that it's really sad it is that way and i'm happy and proud that my friends feel they can talk to me, i'm sure at least some of their guy friends would feel that way also.

[jennifer_bloom]

Yeah - I had one male friend who would talk to me on the phone for over 8 - 10 hours a week about problems he was having with his girlfriend and with people who made him angry - he had no intention of leaving her since she was a lot better looking than me and at the time I was a full time university student and did not have a job but he saw me as his pal. I had another friend with a gorgeous lady friend and he spent about 8-10 times more time interacting with me then he did with her because she was dating multiple guys at the same time and was too busy to give him her time.

[abc3643]

Excellent question! One of the best in my 5+ years here!

I want to say Yes and No.

To family, no, unless ver close sister.
To guy friends, no.
To female friends, it depends a lot on the level of intimacy between the guy and his female friends. Guys are "shy" is the way kids word it, but, really, guys are cautious.
See my recent MyTake on guys reticence to reveal info about themselves.
MEN 101: Why men are quiet and do not easily reveal what they are thinking or feeling. ↗

[Lynx122]

I don't know about other people but for me yes. Some girls are just very easy to talk to and open up to. It has helped me a lot cause it makes me think about stuff I haven't thought about or see things more clearly or from a different perspective when I explain it.

It started when I met a girl on gaga and we started talking on discord and she asked about my family and I told her a bit and then she asked me some more questions and I never thought about those things or how I felt about it or why etc. And I started thinking about those things and since then I've been reflecting a lot more ^^

[beldath]

A lot of guys find it easier to talk to girls, especially ones they want to sleep with about their emotional problems. Most guys just tease and talk shit (in a friendly way) when stuff like that comes up. Not a lot of us are cool and helpful.
But again, they probably want to sleep with you. I doubt your girlfriend's do.
And who do you have those types of conversations with when you're feeling vulnerable, and want to talk about it?

And added thought that KS to my last question. People sometimes feel like their friends would judge them, and think their reputations would change if they talked about it within their group.

[Evilcharlie]

At one time if the guy friends was old friends & nothing more ( like I was told) I didn't have had a problem with that but old boyfriends I would have problem. In 2010 she told me she was seeking advice about problems in our relationship from an old guy friend, an old boyfriend & a guy that was married to her cousin which I considered a friend. Wanting to trust her as we had been together 11 total years, half of them married & she had 7 months earlier gave birth to our son. Between her & her guy friends is the reason why I will probably from now on have a problem with any male being good friends with a woman I'm in a relationship with unless they are blood related. Now if a woman I'm involved with can't talk to me about our problems & thinks she should talk to another man instead it's time to move on.

[Sensmind]

Each person is different and their chosen outlets may cover a range. If the advice is romantic the choice of a female pal may seem obvious because they tend to be more sensitive or in case of a hetro guy maybe have a better understanding of the female mind. In the shall we say more serious stuff like mental health/emotional issues a person might not want to worry their family and turn to friends, Often male friends will be supportive by "being there" even having a therapeutic coffee/drink in constructive silence. Of course there will be other times when a guy wants to talk it out and feels that female friends are better equipped, more empathetic in nature , more suited to this. You are a good friend and male or female, a good friend provides the best support they can.

[Jordan1997]

I have opened up to a few of my female friends before my family or Male friends, I feel like females have more of a caring look to them also give better hugs if needed. When it is family I get worried about worrying them or them blaming themselves.. and guy friends I get worried cos of the stigma of looking weak

[Kurαȷ]

If they have never been taught the lesson that females can never be trusted with information, I guess they might do that.
But I'm more inclined to believe that they are simply trying to make it sound better, because they are invested in the female in some way.

[Cynicaldreamer]

My guy friends do the same to me as well! They've told me things they don't even tell their partners.
Consider it a compliment: it means they trust you.

[Unit1]

I confirm this 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, it is. Because our families are already nosy enough anyway. And our guy friends don't care -- and will probably forget --but we're still not going to tell them stuff like that because we don't want to sound like a pussy and/or borderline gay. For example, my best friend is my BEST FRIEND, okay? But I don't tell him shit.

[lightbulb27]

i would open up to females because I communicated well with them. But... I would also open up to family, so I cannot say why some person would not. maybe they didn't trust their family, topic was too embarassing, didn't want to expose that detail to them... etc..

[BrexitAteMyLobster]

Yeah, fairly standard. Guy friends don't often do those deep conversations and sharing with family depends on the nature of your family relationships. Dads and sons can have the same dynamic as with male friends, they don't show emotions.

[whilipino]

There is the sincere type that looks to open up their feminine side (this does not imply they are female nor wish to be) only to a female because of fear of judgment otherwise. Then there is the beta male that uses it as a tactic to get laid.

[ItsTheNephilim]

About certain topics and for different perspectives, yes. There are some things I prefer to talk to about with guys, some with girls and still some things which are gender independent.

[ItsTheNephilim]

Somethings are best confined within the fam 🤭.

[just_legit1998]

I open up to my female best friends as they're the ones I'm comfortable with when it comes to emotions and I trust them more than my male best friends. I only open up to my brother and sister but to my parents, it's hard because they're facing problems and I don't want to burden them with mine. Huhu!

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I think so. They may not be very close with their family and may be afraid that they'll get shit from their male friends about it.

[R_ūshī]

I don't know but I have an extremely close guy friend who's like that with me.

We share a unique bond... only one guy tho. The others don't open up as much as he does🤔

[spartan55]

Lots of guys feel more comfortable talking to girls about touchy feely shit. Some do it to get closer to girls too.

[ArrowheadSW]

I have a friend who discusses stuff with female friends, but not to me. Kind of surprised me when I found that out. It's like, "He told YOU that and not ME?"... And here I've known the guy for decades... LOL

[genericname85]

yes, cause with family this can get somewhat weird and doing that with male friends is not impossible but finding men that as a man you can be that open with is not exactly common.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Yes, that’s exactly who they want to open up to. They aren’t interested in opening up to make friends or family.

It’s totally and utterly normal. Guys like girls. Makes perfect sense.