Sometimes, I often wonder if I should have been born a woman. There isn't an ounce of masculinity to my personality, my mind is covered with romance and love-struck feelings all the time (hence why I love reading about relationships/dating a lot and spending most of my time with my girlfriend), I adore cute things like chibis, anime/manga beyond belief and cooking/doing chores is one of my favorite pastime hobbies! Being submissive is in my blood with my girlfriend being the leader and dominant all the time, I have empathy towards how people feel and I'm gentle in every way. I just feel like I'm a woman in a man's body ever since I was young.
I've heard of tomboys being praised all the time but what about the other way around? What's your point of view of men who have a feminine personality?What do you think of feminine men?
Here is the deal, their is a reason why these behaviors are shamed. In short women can reproduce men cannot. What men can do is fight, protect, provide. So when a man is insulted by being told he is feminine, what is being said isn't that being a woman is wrong, its that a man who is a woman is worthless to society. He cannot reproduce, he cannot provide, he cannot protect, he cannot be strong so what is he good for?
So my stance with this is conflicted, on the one hand we have the above issue, a man unable or unwilling to make the sacrifices needed for society to function and to protect and provide for his woman and family (as she despite what society is currently claiming, is weak and his fragile and cannot withstand violence and pain like a man can (she is biologically built for an entirely different task, giving life and nurturing it (both vitally important jobs that I think are far to easily dismissed in favor of masculine roles in our current culture)), isn't of value as you cannot do what a man can do but you cannot do what a woman can do either so your the worse of both worlds rather then the best of both.
Now the reason why I'm conflicted is because we have on the other hand, a completely different society then we had previously. We can afford to have a few men not conform (though this will be to your detriment generally speaking (due to how we reproduce women's value is innate (child birthing is far more dangerous and they take the risk of it) a mans value is earned through sacrifice and hard work (because he has no reproductive value due to having the least investment (she risks her life giving birth, he can waste a couple of minutes and the few calories required to produce sperm. These are not comparable)), however to many and society will start to crumble (innovation is driven by men who have to prove themselves, if you behave as a woman who doesn't, that will start to effect innovation and production).
So taking that into account, we live in a different society then what we evolved to deal with. Threats are rarer, we went from near 50% or more of deaths being through violence (some hunter gatherer tribes have it as high as 90%) to less then (at least in the US) .005% of people dying from violence (and that number is dropping all the time). So if you cannot protect her, is that an issue now? Not really.
Thanks to modern technology she no longer needs your brute strength to provide food for her nor do we need your brute strength to manufacture anything (historically 90% of all work was manpowered, after the industrial revolution it was 70% man powered (i. e. all work being done by men), now its only about 30%). So do you need to be strong? Not really.
So you need to be masculine to create personal value, but at the same time with how society has changed many of those traits while useful are not necessary from a purely physical standpoint (women and men both are psychologically wired to want these traits and these traits help drive society as a whole but individually they may be less vital). So to answer your question, I don't know. I am a bit uncomfortable with it (I understand it if you were transgender or what have you (that's a biological issue, it makes sense) do to its implication as one person isn't an issue but if we ignore it will that have broader affects in the long run (this is what social shaming is for, to keep the members of the society functioning in a certain way)? But on the other hand its your life and a firmly believe you have to live it as you see fit. So I guess the real question is are you willing to live with the consequences of it (which may be minor or major, again, I don't know)?
If so then keep doing what your doing because its your life and no one else can tell you how to live it.
Honestly dude, all the things you said don't point towards feminity in general. There are guys who are submissive in general, they aren't necessarily feminine and it would be the same for a woman with a dominant personality, they aren't masculine. If you like getting dressed up in women's clothes, identify as a woman, want to change your sex maybe, that kinda stuff is what would make the difference between a sensitive guy and a feminine guy. Maybe you should try asking yourself things that are specifically feminine, not judge yourself just cause you like being submissive to your girl.
If you feel any kind of gender dysphoria (disconnection with your male body and genitals) then you might be transgender. If you don't have gender dysphoria you're just a feminine man, which can happen due to hormones, environmental influence and what not.
I personally feel like you're just a cis straight male with feminine personality, but if you really feel like you're born in the wrong body to the point that you feel discomfort in things like masturbating and using the urinal or wearing masculine clothing... You might wanna seek therapy, and make sure you are indeed diagnosed with gender dysphoria in case you think you want to be a woman. Your insurance should cover any surgeries and hormone treatments if you are trans.
But again, if it's not that deep and you are just a feminine man, that's okay too, doesn't make you any less of a man. You can live your life however you want in this day and age, but I'd personally recommend to never shy away from the very basic masculine roles/characteristics. You can still provide by working in the care field. You can still be empathetic towards others and be protective.
A lot of women like some femininity showing in their man, personally it tells me that he can understand and relate with me in ways that other men cannot, and it's so attractive in its own way. I'd personally never turn a fabulous man down for being feminine in personality.
Well I don't know, all this stuff is supposed to be on a sliding scale, right? These softer traits don't make you a woman. Are you attracted to men at all? If not, everything's fine and easy. Some cultures are less tolerant of less traditionally masculine men, but in North America, pretty much no big deal. Gender roles are blurred and people don't have to conform to just one box anymore. I like nice people. As long as they are not so soft-spoken that you literally can't hear them, or they are too insecure to express themselves, I don't see it as a problem.
What you described is not necessarily a feminine personality. To me it's more like highly empathic, gentle, sensitive person. Also a soul of an artist and good heart. Maybe you put too much thought into identification of yourself as some gender and are pressumed to think you are more like a woman. But actually I can very much imagine that some poets from past centuries who wrote primarily love lyrics were much like you. (Only that back then they haven't had a fashion to dig in own gender till there is nohinng more sacral.) Anyway maybe it could be useful for some situations to learn some personality traits that are associated with men.
Men are women with dicks and balls and women are men with wombs Vaginas valvas breast etc. the problem with us isn't who we are the problem is that we let our reproductive organs define who we are and what we stand for based on what the people who were here before us tell us and some of us are comfortable with it because it's not all bad and we have genuine interest in whatever it is we're told we should be and some of us aren't and are drawn to what we're told we shouldn't at sometimes feel ashamed of it which we really shouldn't but it becomes difficult not to when people shame us for it, so as to what I think about "feminine men", I personally feel that they should follow their interests without shame or fear of being judged and that hopefully the people around them allow them the freedom of doing so without judgement, scrutiny or malice.
What the hell do you mean by "feminine"? Are you asking if it's okay for them to exist? Sure, the world is a big enough place for all of us. Are you asking if it's okay for them to be the majority or at least for the majority of men to have some feminine traits? Well, maybe if there's something to counter-balance it. Do you want to say that it's okay to claim a feminine man can be as strong and as useful as a masculine man? That's most certainly not okay, because then you're either downplaying the character of masculine men, overplaying the strength of feminine men or erasing the distinction completely, which is horrible.
I’m attracted to androgynous men so as long as they’re feminine with style I’m completely for it. It’s soooo sexy to me.
i suggest you get some kind of counseling along with a brain scan to weed out the trans possibility but other than that just live your best life and surround yourself with supportive people.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Here's a bit of reality that'll instantly make you more masculine: nobody cares about men. You can be the most masculine guy or a totally feminine guy. People don't care about men's problems and if they get a chance they'll make you feel like shit. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself when you need to, even in your relationship. Give your girlfriend a smack if she gets cheeky. Other than that, you just do what you like and don't think crazy thought like you being a woman. If you don't like to have a female body then you're a man. Picture yourself with tits, if that doesn't excite you then you are a man.
Support it, have absolutely nothing against them. I do however enjoy it when I see one of my mates who likes to behave like a girl completely, dresses, skirts and the like, I enjoy it when I get to see him behaving so feminine.
In my eyes, whatever makes you comfortable, go for it, so long as you aren't hurting others in the process.
I’m highly attracted to feminine guys. I believe we place too much value on stereotyping the genders. You can still be a man and enjoy hobbies such as baking, cooking, etc. Men are allowed to have a emotions and it’s high time the world accepted that.
Wow didn't expect this from you. But no i like manly men. And im not into anime. I do find it adorable if a guy cares enough about something to cry (just better not cry about something like watching Titanic) 😂 whats chibis? No i dont like a submissive in the bedroom. I love if a guy can cook. But yes I just need him to dress and act manly as well
Personally, I don't really believe in the whole "masculine/feminine" thing as far as personality goes, I don't exactly fit the "macho man" type myself, in fact, I can relate to a lot of what you typed, like being submissive, loving cute and romantic stuff and anime/manga and being more sensitive and gentle.
Just because you do things and feel a certain way that's not considered masculine by society in general doesn't mean that you're feminine. If you consider yourself feminine that's cool, I'm not judging but you say you enjoy cooking and chores that makes you feminine why? It kind of sounds like you're saying that a woman's job is to cook and clean. if you want to put the label of feminine on yourself that's cool but don't let society put that label on you.
They're a pop trend. The media marketing machine sold it, everyone bought it up; it's the 2019/2020 dad-bod. People don't know how to decide for themselves anymore and it's a real shame because a lot of really good dudes are being left behind. The highly intelligent are being basically bred out of western society instead of held in the regard they deserve.
I have a feminine side. It's because I grew up with 3 sisters and they influenced me with the things they were interested in. But I've never once thought that I was the wrong gender or that I should have been born something else. I'm fully comfortable with my masculinity. I do, however, reject the more toxic aspects, as I prefer to be more refined and gentlemanly in my approach towards others.
Well you Are Who you Are what is between your legs only determent a part of it how you choose to live your life how you choose to be if you Are a Guy Who Like those thing you Are a Guy Who Like those things and I am sure you Are an awesome and sweet Guy Who is a great pal
Cooking and doing chores is something they appreciate, like a lot. As for the chibi/manga/anime thing, even manly guys watch that, you're good there too. As for the submissiveness... I think it is okay to be submissive, but if you are it does not hurt to be dominant over your partner every once in a while, most of the time they love that.
As for feminine guy voices, I like that I wonder why they don't sing, I would sing all the time
Nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side. So blokes think only women do house work. I believe the chores should shared. If the washing needs bringing downstairs, you pick it up take it down to the washing machine and the washing
I'm fine with feminine guys. I like them. I'd wager though that you may actually be trans though (i am) because i see a few red flags in you i used to see in myself.
I don't know. I like a guy that has a balance of feminine and masculine traits.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Honestly, feminine guys are pretty adorable to me! I appreciate sensitive, caring and cute guys. Don't see many of them in my country because it's quite traditional here, especially growing up in an Asian background, but I would probably absolutely adore you if we were friends irl! Just be yourself, because you're beautiful just the way you are.
But you know i don't think having feelings and being empathetic have something to do with being feminine but it's a human thing. Or even in fact animals have feelings too
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