Why do guys incite convo, then send dry text?

[Anonymous]

He often reaches out to me and we have great convos, but today it was so lame. Here it is:

Him - *Sends pic of some items I love on eBay*
Me - Me- yeah I actually bought that last week lol😎
Him- nice lol
Me- yeh. Except it went for cheaper up right after I bought it!!! Lol
Him- dang lol

Um... how do I even reply to that? I didn't and just left the convo. I feel bad because I was excited to hear from him.

[btbc92]

It's not dry. There is nothing else to talk about. It's called small talk for a reason. And that exactly what happens no matter who you talk to. Male or female. You pretty much put a damper on the convo by telling him you bought it. So you're the one who cut it short. If you're excited to hear from him, just tell him that. You can always change the subject. That shows a lack of proper communication skills on your part. He's not a stranger. Talk to the person.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. And I felt he was showing no interest in chatting so I stopped. I figured if he was the one reaching out, he should have shown more intrest in keeping up the convo. I was wordy and stuff... and he wasn't

[btbc92]

You never assume with people. If you need something from somebody, TELL THEM. Don't expect them to be a mind reader. Not everybody shows the same standards, values, and expectations in relationships are it friendship, family, etc as you. Let alone personality type. As an INFJ I prefer deep conversations. BUT not a lot of personalities like that. They find it boring. So if that is important to you, that's why you befriend people first and screen them out. Other than that, he initiated it, didn't he? So of course, he cared. He just doesn't know now if you do after that comment. If anything he's the one who is probably feeling more awkward about it than you are.

[Asker]

I get what you're saying... Weve been close for years- and he's never been that dry! So it threw me off... and I thought since I had not heard from him, maybe he was reaching out to want to catch up... then... nothing lol. So I just took it like he didn't wan to chat and stopped.

Was I right to not respond to his one word replies?

[btbc92]

No, you were wrong. You gave him the implication that you dislike communicating to him or that he's boring.

It's natural for friends to end in that kind of communication style. It means your comfortable with each other. No judgment. But you just judged him for it. So I assume you expect to be more than just friends with this friend?

[btbc92]

It's not that he didn't want to chat. He just didn't know how to respond to it because he was shocked. He showed you that because he assumed you didn't have it. Maybe he wanted to get it for you. But now that he knows that you already got those things for himself he's stumped. You mean to tell me you didn't get that in less than five text messages? It's all right there in front of you.

[Asker]

Well that wasn’t the exact convo. I changed it for privacy reasons. It was more his sending me a picture of stock prices. And I told him I already sold my shares. Wasn’t really about a eBay item

[btbc92]

The point of what I'm saying is that it really doesn't matter what you did for privacy concerns. But the fact that whatever it is that made you say that you bought this or that that was enough to make you feel like nothing he does is good enough.

[btbc92]

He wanted to do that for you, he probably already done it, but since you already done it yourself, he probably felt that now it's a waste. So I highly suggest you reach back to him and ask him for clarification. It's best you don't get that from us because we're not him and we're not you.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Guys aren’t that good at texting (though some guys are great at it)

[Asker]

Its typically good and flows nicely... but man, today his replies confused me.
Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? He seemed uninterested in talking to me...

[Gwenhwyfar]

He was probs super busy

[Asker]

Then why start a convo with me? lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

Good question lol. Not sure. He your crush?

[Asker]

Yes. lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

Don’t take it personal. He’s not disinterested.

[Asker]

:( But was I right to stop replying? lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

Text him later. See if he’s more into it then. If he’s still not into it, he’s probably dealing with some personal stuff. I don’t think it’s cause of you.

Also, like I said, some guys are really laconic, especially when they’re busy or distracted (laconic means they don’t talk much)

[Asker]

I get what you're saying... Weve been close for years- and he's never been that dry! So it threw me off... and I thought since I had not heard from him, maybe he was reaching out to want to catch up... then... nothing lol. So I just took it like he didn't wan to chat and stopped. And I'm not one to really reach out lol so I'll leave it be I guess.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Text him back and say thanks for the eBay pics. See what he says.

[Asker]

ehhhh that was like 3 hours ago! lol Not going to reach out. lol

[Celtero]

Not everything has to be a huge conversation. You could've stopped responding after "nice lol" and it would've been a normal exchange.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? Like why even reach out at all?

[Gwenhwyfar]

@celtero that’s actually a really good point

[Celtero]

Possibly, I don't know, it's hard to tell through text. He could've been busy at the time and wanted to do something quick.

There's times I just send my buddies a meme without saying anything just because I feel like they'll get a laugh from it.

I think the fact that he's even thinking about you at all is a good sign.

[Asker]

Yeh thats what I was excited about when he actually thought of me... but damn dude, give me more than one word replies!! lol Just made me feel sad...

[Celtero]

If you were feeling bold you could've invited him to catch up over coffee to see how he really feels.

[spartan55]

Every text conversation has to be some epic novel with you girls. It's very annoying, and another reason why many guys hate texting.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? Like why even reach out at all?

[spartan55]

No, I don't think he was acting disinterested at all. Just because you are used to long fun conversations doesn't mean he wants every time. Look at your part in the conversation too. You pretty much sunk it when said you bought the same thing and nothing further. I would have changed the subject and asked an open ended question at that point. So don't put all this on him. Girls ALWAYS think that guys should feel the same way, and act the same way as they do. By doing that girls get continuously disappointed due to mismatched expectations.

[Asker]

You know what. You are right. Good point. Thank you

[spartan55]

Good luck with whatever you have going with that guy. Just try to keep some perspective on the texting thing, and not give it so much importantance.

[Mystique1]

Sounds pretty normal. Don’t worry, it was a normal place to stop chatting. Just shows you guys can casually text and have a quick conversation.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? Like why even reach out at all?

[Mystique1]

Nah, it seemed fine.

[Asker]

:( But was I right to stop replying? lol

[Mystique1]

Yeah, that was a good point to stop rather than dragging on a dead conversation.

[Asker]

Thanks for your feedback. I guess I was so upset thinking he has zero intrest! lol

[Mystique1]

Lmao no problemo! I understand it can get pretty easy to overthink things

[Asker]

Ohhh yes! haha I overthink everyone... but when its with a crush- its times 10!

[Mystique1]

Relatable lol

[MannMitAntworten]

Just say hi and carry on. Let the current take you.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? Like why even reach out at all?

[MannMitAntworten]

No. Not at all. It just ended when you did not respond further is all.

Momentum takes both of you.

[MannMitAntworten]

You could have simply changed the subject to do that after his, “dang!”

[Asker]

But one word replies usual means someone is not into a conversation...
And I just felt like he didn't want to chat

[MannMitAntworten]

Well if that is what it means then wishing more is pointless. However, two things. He messaged you regarding something you like. You ended the conversation. No where did I take what he did in this conversation as being disinterested. I feel his disinterest is purely in your own head alone. You are sabotaging this thing of yours with your mindset.

But again, if you believe otherwise, then carry on without him. I just feel you are mistaken.

[Asker]

That you for that perspective. I didn’t see it that way

[MannMitAntworten]

Best of luck to you both.

[MeatPuppet]

It's just texting. Don't over think it.

[Asker]

I guess I am used to having long and fun convos. Do you think he was showing disinterest in the convo with those replies? Like why even reach out at all?