You say that you were always dumped. Do you know WHY the guys you chose always dumped you? Did any of them tell you? Did you ever ask?
It's normal to feel hurt and angry in those situations, but it's also an opportunity to learn and change - because obviously whatever you're doing now isn't working, and the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
Do you know what guys want and value in women that they consider for a relationship? Hint: it's mostly NOT the things that women value in men, so projecting your own desires onto men and assuming that they want what you want is a recipe for disaster. Men know what women want because women talk about it constantly, but few women ever stop to ask themselves - much less MEN - what men want. And that's like trying to market a car or a soda flavor or some other product without having any idea of what the market is looking for - you aren't likely to find a lot of success that way.
I don't know you, and I know nothing about you, and you haven't given us much info to go on, so I could be wrong here, but chances are pretty high that you've been indoctrinated into feminist ideals, perhaps without even realizing it, and are now running into the wall of truth: most men aren't having it anymore. They'd rather be single than deal with a feminist woman in a relationship. When they DO choose to be in a serious relationship, it's usually with a non-feminist woman - and that's PARTICULARLY true with the type of men that most women want: the confident, successful men with status. Those men aren't looking for a business partner or a co-earner - they're looking for a woman who wants to be the mother of their kids and who makes his life easier and more enjoyable, just as he works to make her life easier and more enjoyable.
And those men don't need to be in a relationship to get laid - women want male attention badly enough that they'll have casual sex with guys to get it, and men know it - so, increasingly, men are only interested in relationships with women who come to the table with the things that men value, and that ISN'T a degree or a great job or your career ambitions. As soon as you start talking about those things, men are looking around for the exit doors. They already have those things, and they don't need more of it. They're looking for women who want to be wives and mothers and who will be on his team.
There ARE guys who would be happy letting the woman lead and be the career girl... but most women aren't attracted to that type of guy in the first place. Women always want a guy who is MORE successful and has MORE status and MORE ambitious than she is - but the higher your own status is, the exponentially fewer men there are above you, and you are now competing with thousands of other women for those few men, and that means you've put those men into the position that you as a woman are used to being in: the decider. And he's virtually always going to pick the girl who is happy to be a wife and mom and team player over the girl who he is in competition with - he's got all the competition he needs already.
Yes. Both genders do this, which isn’t exactly healthy. Self-reflection is what people should get int the habit of doing if they’re attracting multiple partners who hurt them. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.
I don’t think you should hate men collectively based on the ones you’ve had hurt you in your life. What you could do is write out the ones that come to mind when you think of “I hate me” and figure out what they had in common and why is it that drew you to those specific men. This sounds personal but don’t take it out on all men. Use it as an opportunity to grow as a person so you can attract better men.
Hating men won’t fix your problem unless you plan on moving to some remote village with a female only population. You just have to get better at choosing which men you open up to and give your trust to. You have to learn how to distinguish the genuinely good ones from the ones who only seem good.
I had the same issue with women. I used to attract a lot of toxic or incompatible women. I put up with drama and ignored red flags because of my own person issues that is couldn’t see. It wasn’t until I saw my father in his second marriage where I noticed I got my relationship patterns from him. That allowed me to catch my bad behavior and fix it.
Now whenever I notice a woman is off or she throws red flags of being crazy, I abort mission immediately. No ifs, ands or buts. In the past I would waive these signs and over-inflate their good qualities. But then I realized there’s plenty of girls who have those desirable qualities who are also not crazy.
There are tons of men with attractive qualities who won’t betray your trust and will give you the world. You just have to know how to find them.
Yes, I totally agree. Regardless of the reason why we start to lose respect for men (being cheated on, played, rude, over and over again, etc) I think it'd be hard not to start having second thoughts. Obviously not every guy is an asshole, but there are enough assholes to go around to make everyone lose their shit. There are probably guys who deal with women who just keep using them, or whatever as well. It's a struggle for people who try to find genuine people to build connections with only to realize that there is a very limited amount of people who are capable of doing that. I guess I'm fairly young still but I'm bothered by the fact I can't find a relationship at all. All of it is so emotionally draining that I just don't even want to deal with guys anymore. But not all of it has been bad. I've learned to look within myself for the happiness, acceptance, and love that I wish to find from someone else, and to set my standards for who I invite into my life a lot higher than they were before.
Not really. The cold truth is that you are 32. You probably have spent your twenties sleeping/dating around and/or working on a career. What that means is that all the good men who you want to be with are married by now and starting a family. You choose not to do that so are limited in choice. Most of the men left are either too ugly for your standards or are good looking but are assholes who only want to sleep around. It sounds like you are going after the 2nd.
Your basic options now are to:
1. continue sleeping around and be alone in your 40+ years.
2. give up on men and try to fill the gap you have with a sperm donor and have a kid.
3. Find a good single guy that is probably not up to your looks standards but you can get along with.
4. get very lucky with a freshly divorced date who was married to some crazy women.
Opinion
49Opinion
Aww, it's a shame that you had to cross path with men that were so harmful to you that they made you hate men. Don't worry, we are not all harmful but I understand that after a few (or even many) bad experiences with men, you might start to believe that most men are bad. It's a perfectly normal thought but don't forget that it's an over-generalization, that it's inaccurate and, therefore, false.
Don't hate yourself for the past. Instead of focusing on how bad the past was, turn these bad experiences or mistakes into lesson. Try to convert them into something you can learn from. Ask yourself "What did these experiences taught me?". When you start to see the positive lessons it taught you, you might start to feel less affected by the negative side of these experiences because these same experiences allowed you to grow, to evolve, to mature in a certain way so that you don't make the same mistakes again.
It's very good that you are aware of that though and that you realized it's probably not a healthy way to live your life with hateful thoughts. I hope you can eventually find more inner peace and serenity.
To me, this explains that one comment where you said "men will put thier dick everywhere".
Seems like you just had a overall bad history with men.
Maybe it is normal since it's apparently common for people to hate an entire gender due to their own personal bad experiences with said gender.
But don't allow your bad experiences with men mess up your view of men as a whole.
You'll just start having other people see you as an asshole, like with that one comment I mentioned. You sounded like an asshole back there, saying that men in general will just thier dick anywhere. Perhaps the men YOU have dealt with will, but not all of us won't.
Just be more rational about what you hate, don't be one of those people to general a whole thing as bad just because there's a some bad apples in the bunch.
It's not normal but it's becoming normalized. Its not your fault. A lot of men are not godly, is sex obsessed and don't care about your feelings. If they want you to open up it's to get into a sexual relationship. When they see they are failing they move on to the next sexually available girl. They no longer want real friendship. Seek a man who shares godly values. If they don't, and push you for a relationship, don't if you don't want to or trust them. Its okay to be alone. Take it from me. I had to learn to move myself and realize that it's not my fault. And it's not yours either. So don't let anyone shame you. You date if and when YOU want to. Just don't date and open up to everybody. Guard your heart and mind.
Yes, it is normal; you are learning. All of my gfs hate my guts and I just accept it as natural anymore. Women hate men; join the club. This new culture has disabled women’s mating instincts while career is number one. A relationship, well that is a bit of an annoyance at times. They resent and eventually hate men because they were taught that since birth, men don’t take women or a family serious anymore, and sex is the only benefit to deal with a woman. It is a very fucked up mess out there. However, we shall adapt. We will continue on, and continue relationship misery and wtf, except I won’t. All you have to do is set that bag of bricks down called relationship, never plan on having one, and dive into your career. That is the most important thing anyways so all women keep saying. Fuck all men, the mantra.
It’s normal to feel this way. You are always allow to feel whatever you feel, girl ❤️ I’m sorry, you’ve went through a lot of bad men and experiences. I did too. But I had to learn, those were just the wrong guys and guys we should avoid in the future. You just gotta take out the bad seeds and select the ones that you’re actually looking for. There are good guys I believe even if it’s not many that’s still available. Maybe take a break from dating, then focus on yourself, positive surrounding, and support :) If you need to talk, you can PM me.
Just because you had some bad relationship, you should not start hating men unless you are into girls and even though that doesn't justify the hate. You could try and learn from your past experience. There is a huge difference between what you want and what you need and it seems like you are chosing men based on what you want. Its time for a deep introspection. A right choice of man could change your perception of men. I hope you dont have any father issue as most of the time hating men stems from there. One should not hate either men or women because of failed relationships. I hope this helps.
Don't worry it's because all the men have realised you're a time wasting narcissitsic ghoster who chased older men in her young 20+ years leaving the young 20+ boys alone and now you hit 30+ you're an older woman not a young one now all the older guys are going after the new young 20+ girls because you're yesterday's news. Your just angry because you wasted your youth playing games with guys and now when it matters the men are playing games with you HAHAHA 😂 karma at it's finest in the end men win.
The truth is, you are doing something wrong; it could be as simple as going after the wrong type of man. Or it could be that there's something about you that has proven to be off-putting to men.
To find the answer, first do some introspection. It is the real starting point for anyone seeking a relationship. What are you really, on the inside? What are your beliefs, principles, standards, values? What turns you on---and off? What do you have or think you have that will contribute to the happiness of the kind of relationship you want? Should you choose to date again, why not try dating according to the answers to these questions?
I’m going through the same. All of my boyfriends to date have played games and lied to me. It’s seems so hard for men to be 100% invested and faithful even if they seem to want to be. I have less and less hope with every guy I meet because of how I have seen them treat their girls, even the in-love, married ones hit on me. What’s the point in trying any more I think? The only way to handle their drama is to try ignore it or not to care.
Don't hold all men hostage or responsible for an experience with one or two bad apples. Take them on an individual basis. If you meet some guy, and he treats you like some kind mental-case maniac, and assumes the worse, that would be unfair right? Yea, ... Because you aren't responsible for some female disaster horrible breakup that he experienced right before he met you, right?
Maybe not hate? Just haven't found a good man, just remember this,,, One good man, baby its not much... its just every little thing! And, nobody gets a good man every time, build yourself a highway to the sky, if he can't climb up with you, toss him away, but girl, a good mans all around , just take your time, and also remember , just find a real one, the biggest, but also the most beautiful, job to doing so is easy, you gotta be a good woman!
Good that you're working through it. I advise to keep that going and try to get on a healthy level again.
It's normal to nate men tho. I see it very often on the internet and had that period myself. Not that I date men, but for the shit they do to women. That still makes me angry, but I've learned to deal with it. I can't change it and worrying about it only makes me feel worse while nothing changes. Not worth my time
yes it is , the feminist/lesbian propaganda use this t influence and confuse women too throw the gender equality off balance, iits been proven in girl scout cases where adult females where promoting lesbianism and feminism to kids who have no clue what is being said.
https://www.edgemedianetwork.com/story.php?ch=news&sc=workplace&sc2=&id=127522
It’s normal. When you constantly run into heartbreak/depression situations it’s like yeah! What the fuck! But it’s good that you’re working on it. There are some good guys out there too! 🤓
You mean you're becoming a misandrist.
Most likely its something to do with your life and personal problems that you're deflecting onto men.
But think of it like this : Why should you accept the crimes and tropes of another person you have no link or relation with? It's the same with other people.
Treat people as individuals.
with loser men like this exemplar I don't blame you one bit for starting to hate men. This comment was left on GAG by yet another a blue.
Women getting masters degree have earned it because they are clever enough to not fall under the dominance of these loser men.
I think it's normal, cuz I feel the same way about women. Can't trust them to make a beneficial decision unless it helps them out in some way. Women will justify the most abhorrent actions with the most Petty excuse. "he yelled at me so now I'm having sex with his best friend"
you know , it sux that its gotten to thay point , and that men are the reason , there are good dudes out there , its jus hard to find " i. e the good woman " to say not to be gaurdrd is not enough , but see if you can think of the things that were the defining points , so to say where it went south ,, and use that in future refreerence girl we are out here , jus like y'all are there also
I dont hate men in general but the number of guys I see who put off a bad vibe has gone way up. When people put off bad vibes they get extra social distancing.
I can't say if it's normal or not honestly I felt the same way about women and I'm still working through my issues. I've come to understand that things aren't the way that I thought, not all women are like my ex and that 2 people who are open and honest with one another, respect and care for one another can move mountains and have a happy life together. It's work and communication is a big part of it all.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions