Guys, what did I do wrong with my guy friend?

[Anonymous]

Lets call my friend S (he is 22, I am 24). We worked together and would take breaks together and I started cooking for him and bringing him food. Texted each other pretty frequently. When I met him, he was fighting with his girlfriend and he broke up with her (together 10 months, broken up a total of 3 times). We kinda talked about it, but mostly just friends talking about motorcycles and work bullshit and teasing each other. It did get a little flirty, but he never made a move and I feel I didn't really encourage anything. He took me for 2 rides on his bike which was really fun.

He ended up getting back together with his girlfriend and sent me a long text saying he was mutually exclusive with her and hoped he hadn't led me on. I responded saying "led me on? I thought we were friends!" and told him I was happy for him. Then I went to his house to return a sweatshirt he had let me borrow and he was so stiff and kinda cold towards me. Didn't want to talk much, I asked if I could just hang with him for 20 minutes and talk and he said no. I texted him later saying basically: you don't have to feel awkward around me if you can lets hang out Monday--radio silence.

Is this just because he is trying to draw lines and be all loyal to his girlfriend? I would understand that, but we were just friends. We never talked about dating each other and I feel like we can still text and hang out, I would meet his girlfriend/hang out with both of them if they wanted. But he just dropped me so I guess we weren't really friends? So confused. I just moved here so I don't have many friends.

I would feel comfortable if my SO had an opposite sex friend as long as I met them, and my SO communicated with me clearly. Maybe I am biased because I have always had guy friends and I have been friends with guys with zero sexual interest from both sides.

[prettyboyjones]

Dude was definitely interested in being more than just friends. Thats a fact. You rode on the back of his bike? Yeah, def interested..
Why it didn't take off btwn you two could be answered a million differnt ways but the bottom line is that he's back w that other chick. Why do you think he acted so stiff? And the "led you on" text? He wouldve never said that if he didn't think there was something between you guys. He was basically acknowledging that he was putting at least a little effort into being more than friends if he thought there was a chance youd feel some kind of way about him getting back w ole bitch face. And lets face it... you're into him too. Cookin for him? Takin breaks w him all the time? Ridin on the back of his bike? Txtn all the time? Yeah... You got a thing for him... still. If you didn't you wouldn't be here talking about the situation.
Keep your head up chicky. Itll be ok..

[Asker]

Well thank you for the last line of encouragement I didn't realize I needed it until I read it. So... should I have said something about feelings? I mean I really liked being friends with him and there was definitely attraction, but he decided to get back with his girlfriend after he broke up with her, so it seemed to me he had no feelings for me beside friendship

I don't know.. at the end of the day I did text him saying we could still be friends and he has my number 💁🏽

[prettyboyjones]

Thats understood but it seems like he feels sideways remaining friends... or such good friends anyway.. W u while he's back w his chick becuase he was actively pursuing you to replace her. He feels guilty about it and she will hit the roof if y'all hang out and she ends up finding out what was really going on. you're good dude. Just keep truckin.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Hey its nothing wrong you have done.
You already know that girls are possessive about there guys and the other person might think you could be a possible threat
Not everyone is capable of handling things by just being friends.

There will be some kind of attraction no matter what is said or done it's just how the chemistry works even though you would be just friends but you know there is always that little spark that keeps it that way.

So you are friends but I think it's just that to it so probably make a different friend it's no different you will be just not close as much as you used to be well that's life you know
Things change and we have to accept it.

I know it feels awkward at first like why does it have to be this way but this too shall pass just if you were hoping to get something more out of your friendship just let it go bc he will run back to his girlfriend every time
I hope you understand all the best 👍

[Asker]

Yeah it seems like he is just done with me all together, which I can understand because his girlfriend might not like that. But he didn't say anything he just dropped me! Guess we weren't really friends after all. Good advice to remember that life changes and to just go with the flow

[Aakash_Hangargi]

He has been influenced he had to make a choice and he did, though you were his friend no doubt in that but you know how it is once you get committed it's tough to ignore if any little sexual tension between you two if that ever existed it would complicate and he couldn't speak to you about that so yeah just scoot along there is nothing more