Why did he lie about his first girlfriend and made me feel like crap?

[Anonymous]

I fell for someone on gag - spoked for most of the year. Mostly had issues about distance while we were on & off - ended poorly. However, I saw a comment he made on a post about his 1st girlfriend. I'm blaffed af. He told me 1truth how hard it was to forget his situation w/1st girlfriend & he hasn't felt that strongly for anyone else since her. (maybe) Lies were she made him feel like she chose another guy over him. He always project that crap on me about his pain. Told me he felt those special feelings w/me that he hasn't felt since that relationship. He mentioned having no exp with long distance & never for it (tho during our time he was being open about it cuz of me). BUT on the comment he made to this post, he made his 1st girlfriend sounded so loving & he regretted being immature due to the distance + life dynamics. It was bc of that relationship he doesn't like distance relationships. Like woooow, what da effin fuck? For the longest time talking to this shet head, my heart was broken & he made me feel guilty about what happened between us cuz he projected a lot of this story he made up. Why would he lie about his 1st girlfriend & pull this crapload guilt on me? I was friggin genuine & stopped talking to guys for him cuz he acted so friggin jealous head for a while. Then we stopped talking, so obviously I would talk to new guys. But we started talking again. He made me feel guilty stating he felt I was "no longer his" (he never claimed me) cuz I was talkin to new people (& I bet he was too!). We were so on & off. It's hilarious to me cuz I see him giving dudes amazing advice on here how some girls can be the one who is manipulative & only care for themselves w/dating games. But an actual wtf cuz isn't this proof he's a damn manipulative & selfish asshole? Yes, I am pissed off right now cuz I hella cared about this dude & seeing this is just crazy. I was so hurt by him. I'm burnt out of dating & giving guys chances due to this jerk

[Kkaos]

Let's be honest, yeah?

"I fell for someone on gag" - You fell for multiple people on gag.

"spoked for most of the year" - Not even close. There were month long breaks of not talking. I can almost count the number of times we spoke on the phone on one hand.

"He told me 1truth how hard it was to forget his situation w/1st girlfriend & he hasn't felt that strongly for anyone else since her." - Yep, I told you things that aren't very easy to talk about and I’m certainly not going to mention those things in every opinion I give to strangers on here.

"Lies were she made him feel like she chose another guy over him" - She made me feel like she was using me to make another guy jealous. That's how I felt. Did I know that for sure? No. I never asked her. Needless to say there was hurt there but I generally try to overlook it and be more positive unless people push me to open up. I told you it in confidence. Needless to say, I still sometimes give her the benefit of the doubt and am very grateful I had her in my life.

“He mentioned having no exp with long distance” – I don’t know where on earth you got that from. I said I had no experience with long distance with regards to someone I’d never actually met in person before (i. e you). Big difference between being in an LDR with someone you knew in person and someone you’ve never even met.

"Told me he felt those special feelings w/me that he hasn't felt since that relationship" -That's true, I did enjoy talking to you at the time. You seemed like a really nice person to talk to and you gave me some form of happiness. Those feelings don't always conflate to desiring a relationship though. You know I was never confident about a LDR with you. I've got a lot going on and whilst I desire a relationship, it doesn't mean I'm ready at this time, especially long distance.

"stopped talking to guys for him cuz he acted so friggin jealous head for a while" - I was never jealous in the slightest. In fact, I kept suggesting you talk to other guys because I doubted I could give you what you wanted. It was you who kept pushing to be “exclusive”.

"obviously I would talk to new guys. But we started talking again" - We started talking again because you messaged me again. I told you I wasn't planning on messaging you, I thought about it, but decided not to. You also told me those guys were "rebounds", I dislike people who use "rebounds", I think it's incredibly selfish. Sorry I didn't tell you that then, I was stupid enough to be worried about hurting your feelings. There's some honesty for you.

"He made me feel guilty stating he felt I was "no longer his" (he never claimed me) cuz I was talkin to new people" -- That wasn't to make you feel guilty. I was pointing out the ridiculousness of going and talking to other people and then coming back expecting I’m going to treat you as anything more than a friend.

[Kkaos]

I know you like to meet guys on here but I’ve been on here for 6 years, it’s not a dating website and I don’t go on here with the intention of dating. We flirted, which in hindsight I shouldn’t have. But we were friends until you started pushing for more. You wanted to talk in PM, you wanted my number. Each time I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to give it a chance because we got on well. You kept pushing me and manipulating me with your loaded questions “do you care about me?”, “do you miss me?”. None of that I was comfortable with, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. If I lead you on, I’m sorry. Even when I did suggest talking less I remember you started crying and that made me upset, so I said let’s keep talking, big mistake – I admit.

by the way, when I finally messaged you to say we shouldn’t talk anymore. I tried to be upfront. Had you had any questions you were more than welcome to ask me in pm. Instead you went and wrote a childish question to hate on me, so that’s why I blocked you. Why you got angry at me for having the decency to message you instead of ghost like you were expecting, I have no idea.

I’m terribly sorry this is how it is. Hate me all you like. Write back another comment or question here and call me every name under the sun. I’m not going to be reading it, I’m muting this. From what you’ve written here and the way you’ve acted now, my opinion of you isn’t that great either. But all the best, not every guy is a horrible jerk like me so don’t let that affect you. Ciao.

[ItsTheNephilim]

Damn. People are just plain assholes. Ditch the idiot.

[Asker]

yeah, it is quite disappointing how someone I thought was an incredibly amazing & good person... is just filled with good words... and manipulation. I dont even know who he is anymore. Feels like all those amazing feelings and memories of bonding were just bs now. A real kind guy will be a kind guy...

[ItsTheNephilim]

Time to say a goodbye to him. Accept it and move on. You can't live staying in this forever. Plenty of better guys out there. Hope you find them :)

[Asker]

Yeah. We already said our goodbyes weeks ago. He blocked me a week ago (tho he claimed it is cuz of this post). Funny how he commented on here, but I can't even comment back cuz of Gag. So many things I can't even correct from his petty twisting and manipulation of the truth he can't even owned up to. Definitely a disappointment to read and the continuous guilt trip. You're right. I guess I can finally stop letting this hold me back and give real chances to other guys who wanna get to know me. I will try to appreciate what might have been real and no longer be upset of being strung along for so long... it is just hurtful knowing you really liked someone who never trusted you, twist your words, and manipulate almost everything... all I ever wanted was to make him happy in the past... oh well, I will give that to someone else who deserves it. Thank you, I hope so too :)

[RHK36]

Liars lie. Not much you can do about a person that's dishonest. Best you can do is try to get to know them and don't ignore the red flags.

[Asker]

yep, I agree. He is still continuing to lie and twisting my words... with little truth he finally added.. sad I genuinely cared about someone like this for a good period of 2020.

[RHK36]

You're still young, soon enough you'll meet someone else.