Why do guys get mad when you break up with them/reject them?

[Walamagicc]

[Nalix]

It depends on the guy. Anger is often a response to feeling helpless, in parallel with fear. When many people feel helpless they react with anger. Being rejected can produce this feeling because they are made inescapably aware that they do not have control, that they are losing what they thought they had.

Of course, the vast majority of them will not have the introspection necessary to be aware of this.

[DrunkAss]

I could ask the same about girls I broke up with. I'm thinking it's because they didn't want that to happen, although girls seem to get more mad than angry. Maybe guys get more angry than sad. I think that's a typical difference between men and women when it comes to handling stress.

[DrunkAss]

[...] although girls seem to get more [sad] than angry.

[Walamagicc]

Well i guess everyone handles break ups differently. I’ve personally never had anyone break up with me but then again, I have only dated like 3 people.

One of them was mad I broke up with at first and then that anger turned into sadness and then he started to beg and plead for me not to leave him. If a guy begs, what does that mean?

[DrunkAss]

https://voca.ro/1oo7bvX2MC8N

[Walamagicc]

He’s pathetic right? Okay I say this because I actually have this one ex who did that! We dated for approximately 8 months and the whole entire that we dated, he abused me verbally and then he pushed me and threw things at me when he was so mad, and he broke a few of my things too.

Basically long story short, this guy is not only toxic, but he has anger issues it seemed like because he was so dependent on me I basically was mommy and girlfriend at the same time. He used me for my money, for transportation, and he was a hobosexual so to say.

Anyways one day I told him that I was done dealing with him and he told me “No you’re not. You’re not leaving me.” And him alone saying that showed me how controlling that this fucker was. So I left , went to work, and the harassed me all day with text messages and calls cursing me out and then I blocked him for a bit, he came to my apartment one night and made a big scene but this time he wasn’t really upset, he just begged and pleaded.

And he got on his knees and started crying (I’m not even kidding, he actually did that) and then he begged and said “Please don’t leave me!! I’m nothing without you! I need you! I don’t have money! I got robbed and I’m homeless.” And I pushed him off of me and told him he was pathetic.

He did a lot more things but this is already getting lengthy but another thing he did do was text me EVERYWHERE. No matter how much I blocked him and ignored him, he found a way to text me to beg for forgiveness and apologize. And then, like you said, he’s a classic covert narcissist.

Before I blocked his number for good, he lied to me and told me that he got hit by a car by my job and that he couldn’t walk right, and then he said he was homeless, and then he went to my parent’s house and told my parent’s that he was robbed by a group of random men (which is most definitely a lie because how can someone rob him when he doesn’t have any money? He’s a bum) and then he told me recently that he had cancer and I told

[Walamagicc]

And I just don’t understand why would a narcissist lie about illness, why do narcissistic people pretend to be sick, hurt? Is this a tactic that narcissist men do to gain sympathy? It makes no sense to lie about such stupid things...

[Walamagicc]

Like if I already left the relationship, why does he think saying (oh I get hit by a car, I’m homeless, I have cancer) is a way to win me back?

[DrunkAss]

That's actually quite normal for NPD to my understanding. They will fake things. They're actors. I was watching some YT videos on the subject from a psychology channel the other day and I even heard of ones staging their own robbery to gain an upper hand... like a Jussie Smollett type of thing.

[DrunkAss]

The two qualities I think you should look for to dodge the worst are accountability and empathy. The worst types of people seem to be lacking in one or both.

[Walamagicc]

Okay I appreciate you for answering. Sorry my response was so long. Thank you!!!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Cause there immature as you get older you realize everybody you like mat not like you back that life no big deal. I guess they haven't realized that yet

[anylolone]

For the same reason girls get twice as mad when they are rejected and broken up with and just as mad as you get for a guy you want not hitting on you.

[SamFromFL]

Aggression is an instinct to protect something; in this case their broken heart.

[Jmmmfi4]

I'm not someone you won't to encounter with this. Last girl I'm currently sending anonymous emails to her job trying to cause her problems

[Calgarydirty69]

why wouldn't they you probably left him for his friend!

[Walamagicc]

I have never left a man for another one.. that’s not even me

[sheikalana]

Because no one likes to be rejected.

[Dontaaa]

The reason seems so obvious though...

[Walamagicc]

Okay but it actually isn’t. In my case, when I broke up with all my exes, it’s because all of them were toxic and they were just too many problems. I of course explained and tried to fix all of these relationships.

But it’s like none of them cared about me enough to try to be a better man and just stop being toxic so I left! If I’ve already explained myself more than once to fix a situation, and he doesn’t fix it, and I leave him, why would he get mad? It’s like how do you not see a break up coming?

[Dontaaa]

Can you give me some examples of the problems you used to have with them? I'm just curious, not trying to invade into your personal life.

You can see the break up coming of course since you're the one that always initiates it (based on what you're telling me).

The person on the other end can be pretty much oblivious or in denial about things falling apart. You can consider it all part of the toxicity I guess.

The breakup pretty much forces the guy to realize the reality of it which can have them react negativity of they aren't understanding enough. Which they most likely aren't because if he was the break up probably wouldn't be happening.

[Walamagicc]

Well the problem I had with the last two people that I’ve dealt with is the controlling behavior and just talking to me as if he were inferior/ better than me. I can’t write down exactly everything that I have dealt with these 2 because it’s too long but I will say both of them have some serious narcissistic traits.

(Guy #1, the creepy narcissistic stalker and drama king) The first one, would verbally abuse me, yell at me, and get angry ( he had an anger problem) and he always said “you made me get mad” “see what you made me do!” And that’s one example of narcissism is that I was always blamed. On top of all of that, when I left him after telling him time and time again to not talk to me that way or treat me that way, he would never take me seriously and said “you not going no where” (there is the controlling part)

After I left my first toxic ex FOR good. When I said I was ending the relationship the first thing that he said to me was “No you’re not.” Again, another example of how controlling behavior. Also when I did actually break up, he acted really really creepy and stalker-ish.

The creepy part was when he would randomly come to my apartment at all times of the day and apologize to me multiple times on top of him begging and pleading and crying. Just pathetic really and then he gave my phone number out to my friend’s and family because I blocked his ass everywhere and the people he gave my number too just harassed me as well!

He would make up lies (another narcissistic tactic used to gain control over their victims) and he would tell me that he’s homeless, and that he got robbed, then 3 random men jumped him, and then it was that he got hit by a car, and then he said he was diagnosed with cancer (which none of this is true by the way) but you can pretty much see based off his behavior after the break up which is why I never looked back.

[Walamagicc]

Guy #2

I made a dating app account for the first time after dealing with guy #1. I was never really into dating apps because most of them are just used for hookups and that isn’t really my thing but whatever, my friend at the time introduced me to one called POF.

Okay, so I met this guy on POF, and let’s call him Chad just so I don’t have to reveal his real name. Okay so Chad has this crazy ex girlfriend and blah blah and whatever, I didn’t think much about why the girl was crazy but now looking back this is a red flag of a narcissist as well. And he also told me the things that she did to him and how they were on and off but he never really explained that what he did to make the ex act this way.

Anyways, he asks me on a date and we go, he came hella late, but I was understanding as he lived like 70MI in a different city from me. Okay that was that. He would shower me with lots of attention and say sweet things (this is him love bombing me) but this guy CONSTANTLY talked mad crap about his ex. I mean he did that bs since the first few days we met even during the whole relationship. He wouldn’t talk about her every single time we would hang but he would bring up “this crazy bitch” quite a lot until one day I asked him how long was it ACTUALLY that they broke up before he started talking to me. He lied and told me 2 weeks at first when it was actually one.

Okay so I’m seeing too many red flags but I’m like “wtf ever I still like him, let’s make it work” type of mindset in my head. I tried personally messaging the ex myself and she just harassed both of us but like wtf, I didn’t care because like if he had enough common sense, he would just stop replying to her and block her but I think I’m a fucked up way, he liked the attention that he was receiving from her.

He did block her but he never deleted her contact information and he had her nudes and pictures of him still on his phone (another red flag he’s still stuck on her)

[Walamagicc]

And I can already tell clear as day that he is using me as a rebound girl. I’ve told him this and of course as the narcissist that he is he didn’t apologize for making me feel that way. And for someone who doesn’t care about his ex, he talked about her way more than it was necessary but anytime I would tell him to stop speaking on her, he would do the narcissist shit and flip it around on me.

Basically after 3 months that we dated, I had to break up with him because he just had too much drama going on in his life and he never really cared to communicate about what was going on. What really irked me as that during the devaluation stage, he would give me the silent treatment and ignore my calls and texts all of a sudden for no sudden reason... I just didn’t understand this twisted game that was going on because it’s like wtf? How do you go a whole entire damn day without talkin to your girlfriend? I brang this up to his attention as well but of course he didn’t own up to his actions and he blames it all on me because he can never be wrong but it’s like if I do the same to him, he wants to get mad.

This is the main reason that I ended it on top of the abuse and him always gaslighting me, calling me crazy, saying the meanest insults for no reason and always when I defended myself, he always told me “omg, I’m just kidding. “You’re too sensitive.” “You can’t take a joke.” “You’re really acting crazy.” And all of this was said when I responded to his abuse so you see how many red flags is here? This guy “Chad” just had too much drama in his life alone since we very first met. I should’ve stopped talking to him after the very first date as my intuition told me so and there was issues already showing but I think my problem is I see red flags but I always wait to see how red the damn flag gets.

[Wackwack]

Weil sie sich minderwertig fühlen