Redflags? Does he still like me? Relationship problems & social media?

[Anonymous]

This guy and I were friends for 3 years and then suddenly we started dating in nov of 2019. It started off good.
But in 2020 I got some weird vibes from him and thought he was lying to me. Okay so we used snapchat each other a lot and I used follow all his Instagram, he had like 3 differents one. (E. g tow private and one open one.)
But then thing's changed... back in feb 2020 I noticed he unfollow me on his private accounts. I asked about it and he said he decided to deactivate his private accounts.
So I was like okay thats cool. Thought nothing more of it.

But then I found later on in 2020 with my other account that he still those accounts active and my friend also confirmed that they are still active currently. I asked him whether he blocked me in 2020 he said "no I never blocked you. I deactivated/ deleted them."
I called out on all this and we broke up in 2020.

But to me it just feels like he's still lying to me, even now in 2021...
And we don't snapchat anymore much or he hardly message me anymore. YET HE STILL WANTS TO HAVE $EX WITH ME AND HANGOUT!!!

And says its a complicated relationship... What does this mean? I'm so confused... ughhhh
Like does he want to get back together... or is he just using me? But he also says there's still some feelings there.
I'm just so frustrated cos I've called him out on his bs and he's still lying to me even now in 2021
yet I know truth about everything...
Or maybe I'm just being insecure girl about all this... I don't know

I've told him I still care about him and how I still have feelings for him. But it just seems like he doesn't tell me how he feels back and just keeps me wondering...
but he says its a complicated relationship cos of our breakup. Does he want get back together? Like I think he still has feelings there tho... otherwise we wouldn't be makeout/$ex but then again it could just be physical and I hope not it's not the case.

Any advice would be good as he is my first relationship.
Thanks in advance xxx ♡

Updates

+1 y

Thanks guys for all your help. Turns out you guys are right. I was going to meet up with him to talk things over this Thursday and then he canceled last minute wanting to change it to Tuesday then canceled that too. Then said I'll get back to you in couple of weeks to meet up and talk. But then I found out that he's just blown me off for Thursday to see mates and even one my friends too 😐

[HimmelMuffin]

I understand this. First of all, I am sorry that you are going through this, I know it can be complicated. You have shown strength and truth to yourself and that is worthy of admiration.
In all honesty, do not go back with him. Sincerely, this does represent a communication problem. I would have not been bad if he actually deleted his accounts but you found evidence that he was lying. The issue here is that he is not respecting you because he did not validate the trust and the communication that you two should have had. Within a relationship or a friendship. These are clear red flags, they may seem small but still important. I was never the kind of person that would block or delete people, so I would not know the reasoning. But if he did it while you two were dating he was probably hiding something. Now, I COULD be actually wrong, which brings me to the next point. If he did not hide anything, then why did he do it? is not rational and simply makes him look bad, which truly does not help the situation.
You do not have to go back with him, but that is Your decision only. This is of course just my personal opinion, I am not for or against you going back with him, Just seek for you to know that you are precious and worthy. And you deserve to be treated with respect, and this is not it.

[Asker]

Thank you for your kindness and understanding my situation.
Actual means a lot because I've had this whole thing in my mind for about a year. And today I was like stuff this I'm getting some advice from someone outside my situation.
You are so right in what you have written! And your point of him doing it to me awhile we were dating was a red flag. I asked him if I did something wrong when it had happened and he was like "nah u did nothing wrong" so then I think why the heck did u block me then when there was no reason to or maybe there is a reason and he's just not saying but I don't think he's hiding anything big. So why lie why block me ughh. If there is reason he should of communicated it and I would have respected this. Its so frustrating when I've tried my best to communicate. I think he's lying just to protect my feelings and not make him look bad. Like yeah sure I would have been hurt by the truth that u blocked me for xyz reason but its better than a lie and also continuing lying. I'm the sort of person who tries to be honest with people even if it is good or bad. And yes I'm worth more than this thank youuuu for reminding me ♡

[deshsippingtea]

I agree with her like damn she took out everything from my mind😂

[Asker]

@deshsippingtea agreed pretty good advice

[HimmelMuffin]

I am glad that I could help. I have been in this kind of situation (some small and big). Just keep in mind that you have to give yourself respect. Regardless of him hiding something or not, that trust has been broken.

[Asker]

@himmelmuffin yes definitely trust has been broken which is a shame because I opened myself up to trusting this person. But sorry to also hear that you have gone through a similar situation

[Myangelic_soul]

THIS GUY IS A NO GO. There are so many red flags in this situation. First and foremost the fact that he took you off his accounts and lied about it says a lot. The first thing I would be thinking is that he has something to hide. Two the fact that your communication is dwindling is a problem. A person is only going to make time for someone they want to make time for and if he had good intentions and wanted you in his life he would put in more effort in his communications. Lastly the fact that he want to have sex but calls what you have complicated relationship shows really hun there is no relationship and won't be a serious one. He just likes the fact that he can still come to you for sexual favors. Yeah he might ask to hang or want sex but he knows that if he didn't communicate at all he won't have access to you. Cut ties girly and make yourself less available to this guy he has no good genuine intentions

[Asker]

Yeah your right about the whole effort and time thing. It doesn't seem like he values my time or my effort anymore either. Tbh it feels like when its only convenient for him to hangout or communicate. When I do the opposite and go out of my way for him. I plan to cut ties both our relationship and friendship and make myself less available. Just how do I go about this. I'm thinking just do the no contact rule if he's texts don't reply. Thank youu for advice girly

[Andrejoao]

When did you dated last time? How was his behavior and why are you so obsessed with social accounts?

[Asker]

Last time I saw him was beginning of 2021. His behavior seemed like his usual self but maybe a bit distance or reserved since I hadn't seen him for awhile. Not obsessed with social media just wanted to kept following his social medias as that was one way we communicated when we couldn't see each other day to day.

[Andrejoao]

Before making a conclusion you need to talk to him clearly and straight! So later on you don't feel regret but i am sure he is not serious to have relationship with you anymore except for sex and pleasure! Sadly
So you need to move on

[Asker]

Yeah good idea one last talk before I make my final decision to leave. And I don't think being friends with this guy is good for me either.

[yofuknutz]

Maybe he's Undercover on the down low or he is straight up lying to her

[spartan55]

This isn't complicated at all, he is using you for sex.

[Iron_Man]

If you’re very suspicious then find yourself a new boyfriend