Why would a guy still be attached after 4 years? is this normal?

[Anonymous]

So my crush still likes his ex and she does not want him. So the dated for a short while in 2016-2017 (on and off for nearly 1y5 months) and parted ways, he could not move on (she was his first girlfriend) he wanted to get back and she took him back, she is the sort of girl who needs excitement, hang out and flirt with other guys. My crush started feeling insecure and was venting out his anger a lot. Ultimately after 4 months she kicked him out and my crush could not digest and returned home. the following year he went on a family trip to Europe and faked dates with the girl twice, invited her to hang out with his family when the girl had a boyfriend already.
My crush even planned a trip since the girl really wanted to go she took a male friend (who she was hanging out with when they broke up).
The following year he met me, he appeared really interested, sent me a love song (I was interested too) but when I asked him about his relationship status he mentioned that girl. Actually he was mentioning her quite a lot so i knew something was wrong. It did not took me long to realize that he was in pain. I have been with him as his mate and lover supporting him to move on. Recently a situation arose and he lied to his parents about me. why would a guy still be attached after 4 years? is this normal?

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Give the poor guy a break.. he loved that girl she used him backwards and forwards.. he couldnt find anyone he liked enough to take her place.. then he ran into you.. be confident in your relationship with him.. he probably never got closure.. he loves you or he wouldn't be with you.. I wouldn't surprised if she was his only serious relationship..

Dont ask him about his past if your going to judge him on it.. he was honest with you just let it go... I dated someone when I was 18 who still comes to my mind type to type.. thats over 10 years ago.. some people dont date for the sake of dating they date cause they want a future he thought hed get a future with her or win her back.. she just used him for what she could get from the poor guy.. please dont do the same to him...

Dont bring her up she's his past and how you handle things will determine if your his future..

[Anonymous]

Yes completely, she was his first girlfriend and for some people it can be difficult to get over someone they once dated especially if she was his first love. If they weren't dating and not really talking at all then I would say it's not normal, and kinda weird.

[caring__1]

You ask why a guy would still be attached after an extended period of time. Couldn't you ask the same of yourself? Is he truly the partner you desire, or do you only see what you perceive as his potential. Both of you are holding onto your dreams. Though it's not uncommon, where do you think it will take either of you? It's hard to move on when we continue to hold onto the past or fantasies.

[Asker]

No I cut contact with him, I told his mother to take care of him... I am just asking like this.

[caring__1]

People have a hard time letting go of their fantasies, even when they know it is an impossibility. It's like mourning the loss of a loved one. Some people tell others, "get over it already," yet we mourn in our own time and manner. It's not something that can be rushed by us or others. It's not our place to determine what is normal for another person. When they are ready and choose to move on, they will.

[Anonymous]

If a guy was married to the same woman for 4 years, would this question seem normal?

Yes, guys can be attached to someone after 4 years. Sometimes they shouldn't be, but yes, we are capable of commitment.