Guys, Alright I don’t know what this guys wants. Can you help me out?

[Anonymous]

We dated long term in the past. We’ve been broken up and been friends. He’s made it clear he didn’t want to be in a relationship he said “I don’t want to be in a relationship I’m cool being single probably all my life I don’t know” and we even touched base on where we are at with feelings and he told me “he doesn’t love me as a relationship anymore but he loves me so much he doesn’t want to risk not ever being friends” I had a kid He’s really nice to my son We’re good friends. He got a house of his own recently I come over to clean it once a week and he pays me 400 a month for it. Sometimes my son and I sleep over on his couch downstairs in the living room because he lives 35 min away. So I did his laundry one day and I told him one of the shirts he had was super nice material and it’s cool. It was a drifit polo. He wore it that day and took off lol Another thing , I went grocery shopping for him (he paid for it all of course) So the other day when I cleaned he asked “do WE have ice cream” then “do we have ranch” I said “I don’t think you have ice cream” “Yea there’s ranch” He has 2 extra bedrooms and told me his best friends were moving in. Then told me he’s not sure if one is and told me my son and I can come by anytime we want since I have a key. So about 2 weeks ago I asked him if he’d want to hook up from time to time but completely platonic no emotions and if we get them then we stop the hook ups. he said yes he’s always down for that. One time in conversation wishing these past two weeks he mentioned that again. A part of me feels like he just wants to have fun rn in life and get laid and maybe he’s cool with that forever? Then another part of me kinda feels like maybe he’s helping me out rn because he knows I’m in a tough spot or maybe he’s trying to drop hints now? Or maybe he genuinely doesn’t even know Or maybe he does want to hook up and be single and also have me in his life. I’m not sure how to navigate this?

[Anonymous]

First of all, stop with the hyper analyzing everything. The shirt thing and the "we" thing means nothing. For you to believe that you two can just fuck "platonically" is a joke. You obviously have feelings for the guy, but you think that would work. Come on...
He TOLD YOU, straight up, that he doesn't want a relationship. But you think him inadvertently using a general pronoun, and wearing a shirt you like changes all that? Wow

[Asker]

Well the thing is I know we are both capable of compartmentalizing the sex. That’s why I said if the feelings ever arise we’d just stop.

And I can be friends but little things like that get me to think otherwise. I suppose I would be able to give it another go but under the right circumstances however I’m leaning more towards the latter
I do analyze the shit out of everything too
It’s just a little confusing because he also texts me a lot more than ever before

[Opinion Owner]

You fill his attention need

[Opinion Owner]

Texting doesn't mean shit. You should stop thinking all these little things "mean" anything. They don't.
So you say that you can "compartmentalize" sex (which I've never seen one woman do) Then IN THE VERY NEXT SENTENCE you say but "if the feelings ever arise we'd just stop" You don't very confident in your ability to put your feelings aside if you are already throwing out contingencies.

[Asker]

I appreciate your bluntness, I’ve not been in many relationships and only ever hooked up with 2 other people in my life. I’m 28

If does not mean when.
I’m definitely able to compartmentalize it.
I came for honest advice, me making stuff up won’t help me get the best advice lol

[Opinion Owner]

Mmmm... that explains quite a bit actually. Why the limited experience?

[Asker]

I think because I’m not very sexually attracted to many people. It’s rare. It’s weird but I’ve learned to accept it lol

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm, okay. That's pretty vague. What about the limited relationship experience?

[Asker]

Well it was a long term relationship and then 2 short term

[Opinion Owner]

Right, limited. Why?

[Iron_Man]

You don’t ask for hook ups

[In_Trance]

Tldr


Move on