Guy I use to be interested in is mad I started dating someone?

[Anonymous]

I've found myself in a weird situation that im super confused with... There was a guy lets call him Bob who was apart of the same group of friends. We all would hang as often as we could between busy work schedules. I found myself starting to like Bob quite a bit so i was starting to flirt with him and show my interest. He would flirt back with me as well but when ever i would try and talk to him about if he wanted this to become anything more he would always reply with a Non-answer. "I dont know" "lets see where this goes" "keep it interesting" after a while i got tired of this back and forth game he was playing so i stopped reaching out to him and that was that. We still hung out as apart of the group but after that nothing more.

Now fast forward i am recently in a new relationship with my boyfriend who we will call Andy. Andy is a new addition to our group of friends we hang out with but he gets along extremely well and everyone seems to like him. I casually told the others how me and Andy were dating and everyone seemed happy for us. However i get a text from Bob saying "oh i kinda knew you guys were dating now." i said yea its going pretty good im happy. towards the end of the convo he goes "Its alright i am use to this kind of stuff happening to me its all good. You are happy now" He stopped speaking to me after that and one of the other people in the friend group comes to me "Im so confused how you ended up choosing Andy over Bob" Now bob is all upset and im thrown for a loop because i am so confused. He would never commit to having interest in me or not in the first place and now is 'hurting' I hate the fact that he's upset and makes me feel bad but honestly here... did i really do anything wrong? i had let him go once it was apparent he didn't want to commit to an answer to me.

[Summeroflove]

I have NO idea. It makes no sense to me either why some people act like this. You made your move with Bob. You pursued Bob and he ran away. You gave him more chances then a lot of people do. Many people once they ask someone if they are interested then the ball is in their court on what they want to do.

Maybe he was trying to play hard to get. But I assume that you aren't into playing games and if someone isn't going to show interest then you ain't gonna waste your time on it. I think that is one of the WORST things a person could ever do especially if someone has shown clear interest.

You did choose Bob... He never agreed to do anything more then be friends. You should not feel bad. You found someone new. He can be bitter and jealous all that he wants to or he can get over it.

This is not something on you. It is HIS loss at the end of all of this.

[Ill_made_Knight]

Once had a manager who would say "you better strike while the iron is hot" when in conversation with the guys. This is the absolute truth. If he was interested he should have moved to explore things then. Whatever the guy's reasoning there's no reason to pass on other opportunities while he tries to figure it out. He has only himself to blame.

[anniisa97]

Girl, you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t give in to these games.

He wasn’t interested when he thought you were chasing him and now that you’re with someone else and happy it hurts his ego, it makes him feel insecure that a girl that was interested in him moved on quickly when he thought he had you wrapped around his finger. You went and showed him you could move on and it’s left him feeling bad because it makes him feel like he’s the loser and you’re the one that was too good for him.

I’m not saying you’re thinking about doing it but if you were to leave Andy for Bob, Bob will feel like he won for a while be great but soon go straight back the old routine of not being that interested. He’s just jealous, and it’s not because he liked you that much. It’s just men’s ego of wanting what they can’t have because it no longer wants him.

[Anonymous]

He’s a child. Ignore him. I get you care about him but he was acting unsure about you until you started dating someone else? Sounds like he just wanted to keep you as an option and now that you’re no longer an option, he’s pissed. Dont get too emotional about him. Men can be “good guys” on the surface but they get pretty dark when it comes to women. You have no idea how many other girls he was considering, but the point is that he did NOT want you. Saying “idk” is not “I want you”. “Idk” is “Youre someone I would consider dating but there's nothing that makes me actually want to date you right now. But you're dateable. If nothing else works out for me, I know I have you to fall back on”.

[FilmGuy93]

You’re dealing with a person who is out of touch with his emotions. I wouldn’t try too hard to make sense of it, if I were you.

[Guy13]

He blew it, oh well.

[scott04sa22]

His lost