Does your boyfriend belittle you? Why would a guy do this?

[Bianca914]

Does your boyfriend ever belittle you?

I get that a lot. My boyfriend sometimes belittles my ideas or intellect as to make me feel stupid or something. I know im not stupid, its just him trying to assert some sort of superiority over me. He also does this when it comes to attractiveness - he tries to make me feel like im "alright" or average. I dont know, it does bother me and kinda makes me want to be with someone else. Other times he will try to balance the scales tell me im smart beautiful etc. I don't know which one is the BS. Why would a guy do that?

he's insecure

he's intimidated by you

he thinks your stupid

mind games

other/comment

[btbc92]

When a person belittles you, it is abusive either way. They take enjoyment in seeing you cower in fear because they want control over your life and the situation. When they have control over you, they have control over the relationship. You also lack boundaries and healthy self-esteem and because of that, you allow him to get away with it. It needs to stop. He is not going to change. And you need to drop him immediately. You are not in a healthy relationship. So get OUT!

[Anonymous]

He’s insecure and trying to manipulate you into thinking you don’t deserve any better moment or treatment, which is of course BS! I’m not sure how you long can stay with someone like him, that would immediately drive me crazy! If he tries to belittle you again call him out on it, and if he doesn’t stop, you should walk away and find a better man.

[Naughty-_rascal]

He is trying to bash your self esteem, by playing with your feelings. I would suggest, you leave asap, before your self-esteem is bashed, to the point, it puts off having relationships.

If someone is not trying you with the respect you deserve, fuck them him. Get rid of toxic people in your life. Remember don't treat any man like a quasi-god. He is just a man nothing more, nothing less.

[Naughty-_rascal]

If someone is not treating you with the respect you deserve, fuck them off. Get rid of toxic people in your life. Remember don't treat any man like a quasi-god. He is just a man nothing more, nothing less.

[spartan55]

Please don't get caught up in WHY he is doing it, because in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that he IS slowly chipping away at your self esteem and self worth by belittling you. It is a typical early sign of an abusive manipulative relationship. This will get worse, believe it. I would advise ending it ASAFP.

[Spawnface]

My brief guess goes like this.

If you batter a gate long enough, if it fall.

If you put a frog in luke warm water then slowly raise the temperature it will not detect the change and will be boiled alive.

What does belittling your partner accomplish? This is no rhetorical question insinuating that the act is bad. It is a question worth considering.

My guess is either this will continue, or it will get worse. The aim after all is to destroy your esteem. Having no esteem, it is hard to fight.

[OjosOscuros3]

There’s a difference between calling you stupid and making you feel stupid. If he treats you well overall, chances are he doesn’t intend to make you “feel” less than. But you need to tell him that his words are hurting you so he can learn to communicate better.

[Finchie40]

Cuz he is bipolar , you will always have this question Mark on your head. I told you i been through this with my bipolar ex , it is constant head games sweetie to the point it is abuse. It Will get to a point in ypur life that you will question your own sanity. Best thing to do is get away. Trust me on this , i know you were upset from 1 of my last replies on your question and I Apologize, i was just trying to help you and I thought by taking the asshole approach might make you take action to leave this guy. So again sweetie i didn't mean to be an asshole just know the hell you are. going through and trying to save you the misery , He has a sickness that is going. to take a toll on you

[Levin]

Sounds manipulative. Feels bad about himself, so does you down to lessen your self esteem, and make you stay. Not a good relationship. You can surely do better and respect yourself more.

I tease, teasing is playful. I want to make her smile and make her feel good. That's the difference.

[markgypsyman]

U shouldn't put up with that being put down bey anyone as that's what he's doing to u as if u feel u need be someone else u don't need to be someone else u need be u and if he don't like it then he need go find a fool sweet heart just don't let anyone put u down

[markgypsyman]

I would mail u but need u to mail me first 😉

[jrmitchell2629]

He does it because he believes that u aren't going no where and because most men are selfish and ass holes they only think about themselves and now he also feels like he has power over u and not only will u not leave but he believes that u can't live without him

[jrmitchell2629]

And believe me when I say that u are worth way more than that u are supposed to be treated no less than his QUEEN

[jrmitchell2629]

And from looking through your questions u are very unhappy u. Are gorgeous and u shouldn't except nothing less than a loving caring man that would do everything in his power to make sure your happy and backs u up and has your best interests at heart

[jrmitchell2629]

Ok i also been trying to send u a private message but won't let me unless u are following me back

[jrmitchell2629]

Feel free to message me anytime k to talk about what ever u want to k

[Kkaos]

Can you give an example of when he's done this to you? This would help give a much clearer picture of what we're dealing with here.

[worldscolide]

Its actually a manipulation tactic.. Basically he is trying to diminish your self esteem and your confidence so he can control you easier. I suggest getting away when you can.

[Burgerboy21]

Well he's undoubtedly insecure in his masculinity and he certsinly doesn't love if he doesn't treat you as his equal.
And yes, this is a huge red flag and I do think should end the relationship.

[Ephemera1]

I have a couple theories on why he does it but they don't matter. What matters is that it's not healthy and not fair to you. Definitely consider ending things with him.

[Lilyanony]

Love to hear the theories and I'm sure to satisfy her question it would be helpful too.

[Dog19]

I get a bad vibe about your boyfriend... I think you should leave him

[Eleni91]

I think you need a new boyfriend cause it’s not gonna get better it only gonna get worse.

[wildneko]

He is too abusive! No good person would do that to their loved ones.

[cavmanier]

I'm thinking maybe he doesn't want you to have a large ego.

[DiegoO]

Why are you still with him? If you don't feel happy in the relationship after trying to fix things, what is the point of keep on in the same cycle?

[YHL6965]

An insecure piece of shit who needs to belittle others to try to feel superior, not like an inferior piece of shit he is.

[moonpie89]

No mine doesn't. Sounds like he's insecure. Not a healthy relationship

[scribner]

Sounds like he’s putting you down to feel better about himself. No one needs that kinda BS

[ChloeStarfire]

My boyfriend doesn’t do that to me and I don’t know why guys do that

[errrrrmkewlm8]

It's cuz he wants you to feel like you can't do better, wants to control you. My sister goes through the same thing rn.

[VV3ZZY]

It's called narcissism and I would rather be single.

[pootytangg]

You both are insecure. Who would allow someone to do this to them then ask the internet is he insecure? Not even, how should I dump him?

[Lilyanony]

These people erode their self esteem it's a gradual process and consequently the person feels doubt simply because they blue hot and cold. You are very ignorant and now you're doing the same thing. Her feelings are valid and get desire for understanding is also very valid.

[pootytangg]

Thanks for educating me because I am an uneducated swine. I am not being ignorant I am very aware of the situation she has presented me. I am actually being apathetic. If she feels some time a way she can @ me.

[loveslongnails]

You seem to have REALLY BAD taste when it comes to men !!

[TonyBologna25]

If that’s you in the pic you’re definitely above average. She sounds insecure.

[TonyBologna25]

He* sounds insecure

[Lightning8]

some girls like being "one up'd" so maybe he assumed that about you

[TsubasaCorrupted]

He likes to feel superior or to keep you feeling lesser. Don't let him

[Anonymous]

Because you let him...

[Browneye57]

Cuz you're not that bright. Oh well. Quit complaining, or dump his ass and find a new one that doesn't. Maybe you can find one dumbed-down a little. LOL

[Bianca914]

Hi browneye your comment is rude and insensitive. Perhaps you are the dumb one 😜

[Browneye57]

Silly - you even included it in your poll options. I don't do polls.
But serously, if he belittles you he doesn't respect you. There's teasing, and then there's belittling. YOUR WORDS honey. Don't shoot the messenger. And quit whining.

[vald9inches]

they are insecure and immature

[genericname85]

that's the kind of dude you don't wanna be with...

[Danielson3323]

They're asshole if that do that.

[outside_Toronto]

I think it's time for a serious conversation

[hotstuffSRD]

Well you're with wrong guy for sure

[Prakbio]

He just teases you.. Nothing else

[Anonymous]

I have had a number of stupid girlfriends. It might just be justified

[The_FallenOne]

If you attract stupid girls you must also be stupid. Idiots attract idiots.

[Opinion Owner]

@The_FallenOne so you've experienced that too.

[sexybabe88]

Mine does it all the time

[QuietRunner]

wrong, so wrong

[sexybabe88]

I know

[Takazaki]

He's trash

[Slim57]

You kinda are if you stick with someone like that

[SarahsSummer]

all of the above

[Anonymous]

I would leave him!