Does your boyfriend belittle you? Why would a guy do this?

Question

Does your boyfriend ever belittle you?

I get that a lot. My boyfriend sometimes belittles my ideas or intellect as to make me feel stupid or something. I know im not stupid, its just him trying to assert some sort of superiority over me. He also does this when it comes to attractiveness - he tries to make me feel like im "alright" or average. I dont know, it does bother me and kinda makes me want to be with someone else. Other times he will try to balance the scales tell me im smart beautiful etc. I don't know which one is the BS. Why would a guy do that?

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

When a person belittles you, it is abusive either way. They take enjoyment in seeing you cower in fear because they want control over your life and the situation. When they have control over you, they have control over the relationship. You also lack boundaries and healthy self-esteem and because of that, you allow him to get away with it. It needs to stop. He is not going to change. And you need to drop him immediately. You are not in a healthy relationship. So get OUT!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He’s insecure and trying to manipulate you into thinking you don’t deserve any better moment or treatment, which is of course BS! I’m not sure how you long can stay with someone like him, that would immediately drive me crazy! If he tries to belittle you again call him out on it, and if he doesn’t stop, you should walk away and find a better man.

Naughty-_rascal · Accepted Answer

He is trying to bash your self esteem, by playing with your feelings. I would suggest, you leave asap, before your self-esteem is bashed, to the point, it puts off having relationships.

If someone is not trying you with the respect you deserve, fuck them him. Get rid of toxic people in your life. Remember don't treat any man like a quasi-god. He is just a man nothing more, nothing less.

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

Please don't get caught up in WHY he is doing it, because in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that he IS slowly chipping away at your self esteem and self worth by belittling you. It is a typical early sign of an abusive manipulative relationship. This will get worse, believe it. I would advise ending it ASAFP.

Spawnface · Answer

My brief guess goes like this.

If you batter a gate long enough, if it fall.

If you put a frog in luke warm water then slowly raise the temperature it will not detect the change and will be boiled alive.

What does belittling your partner accomplish? This is no rhetorical question insinuating that the act is bad. It is a question worth considering.

My guess is either this will continue, or it will get worse. The aim after all is to destroy your esteem. Having no esteem, it is hard to fight.

OjosOscuros3 · Answer

There’s a difference between calling you stupid and making you feel stupid. If he treats you well overall, chances are he doesn’t intend to make you “feel” less than. But you need to tell him that his words are hurting you so he can learn to communicate better.

Levin · Answer

Sounds manipulative. Feels bad about himself, so does you down to lessen your self esteem, and make you stay. Not a good relationship. You can surely do better and respect yourself more.

I tease, teasing is playful. I want to make her smile and make her feel good. That's the difference.

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz he is bipolar , you will always have this question Mark on your head. I told you i been through this with my bipolar ex , it is constant head games sweetie to the point it is abuse. It Will get to a point in ypur life that you will question your own sanity. Best thing to do is get away. Trust me on this , i know you were upset from 1 of my last replies on your question and I Apologize, i was just trying to help you and I thought by taking the asshole approach might make you take action to leave this guy. So again sweetie i didn't mean to be an asshole just know the hell you are. going through and trying to save you the misery , He has a sickness that is going. to take a toll on you

markgypsyman · Answer

U shouldn't put up with that being put down bey anyone as that's what he's doing to u as if u feel u need be someone else u don't need to be someone else u need be u and if he don't like it then he need go find a fool sweet heart just don't let anyone put u down

jrmitchell2629 · Answer

He does it because he believes that u aren't going no where and because most men are selfish and ass holes they only think about themselves and now he also feels like he has power over u and not only will u not leave but he believes that u can't live without him

Kkaos · Answer

Can you give an example of when he's done this to you? This would help give a much clearer picture of what we're dealing with here.

worldscolide · Answer

Its actually a manipulation tactic.. Basically he is trying to diminish your self esteem and your confidence so he can control you easier. I suggest getting away when you can.

Burgerboy21 · Answer

Well he's undoubtedly insecure in his masculinity and he certsinly doesn't love if he doesn't treat you as his equal. And yes, this is a huge red flag and I do think should end the relationship.

Ephemera1 · Answer

I have a couple theories on why he does it but they don't matter. What matters is that it's not healthy and not fair to you. Definitely consider ending things with him.

Dog19 · Answer

I get a bad vibe about your boyfriend... I think you should leave him

wildneko · Answer

He is too abusive! No good person would do that to their loved ones.

cavmanier · Answer

I'm thinking maybe he doesn't want you to have a large ego.

DiegoO · Answer

Why are you still with him? If you don't feel happy in the relationship after trying to fix things, what is the point of keep on in the same cycle?

Eleni91 · Answer

I think you need a new boyfriend cause it’s not gonna get better it only gonna get worse.

YHL6965 · Answer

An insecure piece of shit who needs to belittle others to try to feel superior, not like an inferior piece of shit he is.

moonpie89 · Answer

No mine doesn't. Sounds like he's insecure. Not a healthy relationship

scribner · Answer

Sounds like he’s putting you down to feel better about himself. No one needs that kinda BS

ChloeStarfire · Answer

My boyfriend doesn’t do that to me and I don’t know why guys do that

errrrrmkewlm8 · Answer

It's cuz he wants you to feel like you can't do better, wants to control you. My sister goes through the same thing rn.

Does your boyfriend belittle you? Why would a guy do this?

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