How do I tell my boyfriend to wash his hands without offending him?

[Anonymous]

When I moved in with my boyfriend I noticed that he does not wash his hands. He doesn't wash his hands after he uses the restroom and often forgets to flush the toilet. We went out all day two days ago and I seen him shake people hands, touch stuff, etc just to come back home and start eating with out washing his hands. We ordered delivery today and was going to share food but once I seen him go in the bathroom and not wash his hands and then dig his fingers in the food. I immediately felt sick and lost my appetite.

How do I get him to wash his hand and flush the toilet with out offending him.

[JosephPit]

I don't really think there is a gentle way to tell or ask him this. You can maybe start out with asking him what he thinks about personal hygiene and then ask if he thinks he can improve his somehow.

Another way to go forward is maybe asking him to wash his hands more because you're affraid of the coronavirus (which is actually a valid excuse).

The toilet flushing thing is also just a thing to ask him. He is your boyfriend and loves you, right? So I would find it crazy that he gets upset when you ask him to flush the toilet and wash his hands... It's not like you are asking him to change his whole life, it's just something little. I think he should be able to do that without an argument...

[IAMNathanael]

I think this something that just needs to be said and the nicest way to put it is in clear and simple terms. Maybe introduce the subject by asking where you stand in your relationship and how you each can improve.

[Anonymous]

Say "WTF? Were you raised in a barn or something? Go wash your hands you dirty shizno!" Who cares if you offend him or not he needs to be a less repulsive person. And it isn't only you he is affecting everyone around him. Hand washing is part of the normal social construct; and even more important during this pandemic. How has he gone around without washing his hands this last year?

[Asker]

He also cooked food and left it out for few days and it molded. When I took a pic of it and told him about it he got mad. It's still sitting in his crock pot molded. I offered to buy him a new one and he got mad and said there's nothing wrong with the one he has.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should dump him; but please make sure you tell him that it is because he doesn't wash his hands.

[slatyb]

That's disgusting. You just tell him. If he's offended, that's his problem. Are you willing to live with it if he won't change his behavior?

[Asker]

No, honestly I think I got a yeast infection because he would not wash his hands and then finger me. I never had one before but this would be a deal breaker. I checked the bathroom right now and he forgot to flush meaning he also did not wash his hands eithier.

[Asker]

I also tell him to clean his apt and his response is what needs to be clean? I already clean. I don't know if I can live like this for long. He loves to cook food and I never eat it because I know he didn't wash his hands before cooking.

[slatyb]

Just end this. You've told him, and he's shown you that he's not going to change.

[exitseven]

Tell him to wash his hands. Blame it on the pandemic if you want.

[Anonymous]

Just dump him. Habits don't change