Am I nagging and overreacting?

[Panchilq21]

We have been dating for more than a year with a lot of breaks and misunderstandings but we got out of them. We're both young, I'm 19 and he's 18.
Recently I feel like he's choosing his friends over me and some context behind this, we live close but we barely see eachother. We usually meet in a secluded spot in another city to have some intimacy but overall where we live, we never meet because he's scared of his family and specially his mom to see that he's in a relationship. We used to had a phase where we would just meet in the woods and have sex, after a long year we finally had a date in the same city and had a picnic which I'm really thankful of, also a walk date where we live. But we still get to see eachother one time in a month or worst case scenario one time in 3 months. Now I started to plan more dates and try to get more time to ourselves and push to do something together in-person where we live but he always has something with his friends or work, he never makes a plan and to actually stick on it whenever I want to, he usually says that he forgot or something. It frustrates me and I feel so neglected. I feel so unimportant because this isn't the only thing, I feel unimportant in his life, he never considers to buy me gifts for my birthday whilst he does for his friends and family. Don't get me wrong he's a great guy, he's actually nice with me and gives me attention and sometimes loved but i still feel ignored and on the bottom of his list. We already talked about this so many times and I get this is difficult for him too but at the same time I feel so damn sad and unimportant. I don't know what to do, I am so attached to him and love him so much, it hurts so bad. I can't continue to be the last minute plan and for only a movie date and that's it. I tried so many times to fulfill his wishes whilst mine are pretty much ignored or not put effort.

[Xoxocutekitty]

You love him but you deserve someone who makes you a priority, and you deserve someone who cares about your happiness too.

I think you are stuck in wanting the relationship to work and every time he let's you down, you lower your standards so that even a crumb of attention makes you happy.

There are men who would let you meet their family without expecting sex. There are men that would plan a date on a Tuesday, just because they saw tickets to something they thought you would like. A guy will put down his video games or ask you if he can hang out with his friends on Friday, because he knows Friday is 'your night' and he usually sees them on Saturdays.

Life tip: do not put your self esteem in whether or not you can make a relationship 'work'. People will take advantage of you and for what it's worth, every relationship until your last ends. I don't care if you're married, you can still get divorced because people can change, can lie about money, can cheat, and there's nothing you can do about them making a choice like that, even if both parties are unhappy.

Every relationship except your last will end, so make sure that you're happy while you're in one 80% of the time. If they make you mad, tell them.. if they hurt you, cry in front of them. if they treat you like an obligation, walk away because you can't 'convince someone' whether or not they want to be a part of your life.

If you're happy and it works out the other person is happy too then enjoy the ride.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations, you're just a sex toy he's using.
See girl, you're 19 so let me tell you that when I was also 19, I was ABOUT to have a same experience.
My ex was only in lust with me. He wanted to HIDE ME from EVERYONE and told me to meet at secret places. He literally said he wants to have sex either at a secret park or will take me to the distant hotel room. I declined as I believe in having sex with the person you'll be with forever. He then pretended to care about me and how he is protecting me by HIDING me. I told him to either keep our relationship official or forget me. I knew what was going on. He wanted to use me as a sex tool. Most of the times he only seem interested in touching me at private parts.

[hahahmm]

You're like someone on the sinking Titantic complaining about a leaky faucet in their guest room.

He's treating you like a whore. That's why he won't give you anything for your birthday. If a guy respects you even a tiny bit he will get you something for your birthday.

You're acting like a cheap whore if you just meet a guy once a month for sex and let him hide you from his family on top of that. Get a grip.

Have some self-respect and get a boyfriend who isn't afraid of introducing you to people and actually thinks about more than having sex.

[hahahmm]

Lol @ the females who downvoted me. You can be a FB or a serious partner. Not both. Get over it.

[yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo]

You're right.

by the way, sex is not love. Sex is Lust.


It sounds like he's probably keeping you away from his family because they'll mention a different girlfriend.


If you need sex to feel loved in this relationship, you've answered your own question.

You're not in love you're in lust.

And he doesn't seem to have the connection with you to go out of his way to take you out.


I feel sorry for you. You need to find somebody intimately mature for your love life.

I hope you find that

[Interstate]

It just sounds to me that he has lost interest in the relationship. Either that or he doesn't know what he wants. Give him space and let HIM contact YOU. But if it were me, I would walk away. But let him make the next move and see what happens from there. I would say that if you don't hear from him after two weeks, it is obvious it is over.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I cannot say why he has apparently lost interest in seeing you as much (Maybe it is all the secrecy behind his family's back that must get tiring for both of you) but you have learned a valuable lesson for any future relationships. Set the boundaries early on because once set they are incredibly difficult to amend without causing bad feeling

[exitseven]

This guy is 18 and considered an adult. He should let his mother know that you are in his life. Although I used to do the same thing. I never let my parents know anything about anything having to o with girls. Years later my mother told me that she was afraid I was gay because I showed no interest in girls.

[Anonymous]

So long as you keep fucking him, he will want you around and won't give you what you want.

You want a relationship, but he's too scared to do that. You have to stop having sex with him.

If he won't give you what you want, because of fear, maybe he will give it out of sexual frustration.

Or maybe you'll realise that you're just being used.

[boggboss]

This is not dating its a friends with benefits situation that he acts more intimate with lol this ain't no relationship stop fooling yourself

[Avicenna]

If you aren't getting what you want and he won't make changes, it's time to end things

[Explorer91]

Once every 3 months?
Girl sounds like he has another girlfriend and you are clueless about it.

[CallmeTheKnight]

If he was in love, he wouldn't be so distant with you. You're not in love either. The relationship isn't meant to last.

[anylolone]

How can you get quality attention and feel ignored.

For what you say, being with you is some what of a risk for him, if what he says holds water.

[TheFlak38]

"Recently I feel like he's choosing his friends over me " that's all I needed to read. Yes. You nag him to an early grave.

[Sabretooth]

if you're a woman, your mouth is moving and words are coming out... then, yes. seriously, this is one-sided.

[Sabretooth]

It was a joke.

[bamesjond0069]

Casual sex with a guy younger than you who is not mature or confident to even be seen with you. Yeah this will turn out well. *facepalm*

[Dazed0N0Confused]

Thus why i dont date younger.

[In_Trance]

You're nagging and overreacting

[Panchilq21]

Why so? Enlighten me

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's just in it for sex.

[Friendlybro79]

Sounds like a lot of immaturity.

[FEARLESSHERO]

So whats the question?

[Panchilq21]

If I'm overreacting

[FEARLESSHERO]

Well what did he say when you told him this

[Panchilq21]

He just tries to brush this off or give excuses. Actually he promised that he will give me some time but then proceeds to act like he forgot and that he has another plans with his friends

[FEARLESSHERO]

Now you tell me are you overreacting?

[Panchilq21]

I don't know, that's why I'm asking. I feel like I don't but he makes feel like I do

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Didn’t read. But both.

[tjb27]

Just talk to each other and work with each other

[scooogy]

No, only nagging.