Why would a boy decide to date a shallow girl after having dated only top intelligent girls his whole life?

[Anonymous]

I have this friend who only ever dated super intelligent, pretty (and also rich) girls. They really were the cream of the crop, full of important awards and with stellar curricula, and he gave a lot of importance to their education careers etc, to the point he always made me feel like shit about myself.
The moment he turned 30 he dumped his girlfriend and started dating a good to nothing girl whose big passions are fashion and partying and who works as a secretary in the fashion industry… she really is a shallow person and even if she’s rich herself, she really gives the impression of someone who just wants a wealthy husband to maintain her.
I believe he made this (desolating) choice because he thinks a stupid girl will be an easier wife. But I wander how he can even think to spend his life and have a family with someone who is that hugely less intelligent and ambitious than any girl he ever dated. Can you date someone you consider stupid?

[btbc92]

Asker. The real question you got to ask yourself why were you friends with such a man? I wouldn't. I don't care how rich they are, how attractive they are, how popular they are, if they are below your moral level, you don't hang around them. Yes you want to celebrate your achievements and other things, but at the same time, it's just very clear that he's very shallow and not a healthy person. Be if he was rich or not, people like that are not healthy people, and a very vain with everything. He makes you feel that way because he doesn't care not only about how you feel, he doesn't care about anyone else. He left his girlfriend because he always wanted a girl like who he's messing with now. That's the honest truth. He always wanted to do that since he was very young and because he always had eyes on him, he had to get somebody like his past girlfriend. Because all his life he was pushed to have that kind of image on him that's why he had to get the person he got. Now that he's at an age where he doesn't have to basically be told what to do anymore as an adult, he got the type of girl he always wanted. Somebody who he can sleep with and somebody who had sex with lots of different men, and don't have any kind of care in the world. That's the type of person he wants to be. So it says a lot about his mindset. What you're seeing now is who he always was and he hid that from the world. And the world around them had prying eyes. Now that he's 30 he realize that he doesn't care anymore and he went after what he always wanted to do. Be like the rest of those type of people. It's not even so much that she's Rich, the girl is everything that he always wanted to do. Because he wanted to fit in with everybody else. It's just that it's equal opportunity for him because she also got money. If she didn't have money she would have been a burden to him simply because she would be more like a gold digger personally and he doesn't want to deal with that. As long as the girls also Rich, most people won't bat an eye. So you see. It has nothing to do about love and it has nothing to do about being in a relationship. It has to do about master status and the image. Again key words here is status and image. He doesn't even care about that girl. She's just image for him. While the other was both image and status others wanted for him.

[ConfusedMarried]

With intelligence sometimes also comes arrogance, maybe he felt that with the intelligent girls. You are calling the new girl stupid, did he actually say that to you? If he did, than he's stupid. Do you know how their conversations go at night? You mention wife material, are the intelligent girls wife material? Maybe they think they are to smart to be "classic" mums and wifes? If they are that ambitious, do they really have time to be wives? Or do they want to focus on the work career? And maybe let nannies and servants take care of the family? What is an easier wife? If he is happy with her, isn't that what really counts? I have one of the higher academic educations and if I would to fall in love with a lumberjack that understands me and makes me happy should I cut him out because he only chops wood? I don't think anyone would date someone they consider stupid, if your friend consider his girlfriend stupid then he is also as stupid. by the way shallow stupid people often tend to have less problems in life because they don't analyze to much.

[ohshee]

Well just the way you answered this question is the reason why the girl that you just described you think that's living life do you think she knows what life is all about
Rich vs poor who's richer
Do I want to be with a girl who gets everything has everything who is intelligent smart

OR would I rather date a girl he knows what it's like not to eat for a week that knows what it's like to not take a shower for a week. To know what it's like not to have gas money. Or any money in her pocket for a week. 2 know what it's like to be cold in the winter time who is smart intelligent.

I'm going to take the second girl every time first of all she's just as beautiful as the rich girl second of all she knows what life is all about that's living like that's understanding that's knowing the difference about who you are and who you're not that's the difference between surviving and not knowing that's the difference between a beautiful heart and ugly heart in so many different ways that's the difference between compassion love and respect for others no matter who they are that's the difference between having and not having but being richer and so many more ways than money could ever take you that's the difference of if anything was ever happened in this world and you had to survive on your own who's going to make it he's not going to

[bamesjond0069]

This is very normal. The things you THINK men find highly desirable are not really. For example im 34. I've dated doctors and bankers and good looking ones too. But i only date them for fun. My current girlfriend im serious with, she lives with me. She is 18 and is basically baby fever barbie. she's fun laughs is sweet and loves babies and puppies. She has no career ambitions and is a self admitted bimbo. Tbh its much easier and enjoyable to be with her than the intelligent successful women. I personally dont care at all about anything except youth and someone who had a positive fun personality. Why do i care if they can do complex math or manage employees effectively? Useless skills in terms of a wife.

[jspl90]

and how old were you?

[bamesjond0069]

@jspl90 im 34.

[spartan55]

Wow, aren't you full of judgement. I will assume this is your ex, though he is referred to as 'a boy' for some reason.
Can you date someone you think is stupid? ... well he likely doesn't think she is stupid, YOU do. I mean are you dating her, or is he? You are assuming many things about this woman. Have you even met her? Have you talked to her? How is it any of your business? You are coming off very bitter.

[DannyUk2017]

Or maybe she is the one in the "frame" and that's the way she sees the rest of the girls around "her"...🤔, just wondering...

[spartan55]

@DannyUk2017
Sure, that's possible. It's a bad look for her regardless. You lost, take it and move on...

[Goatmeal]

Intelligent people can be super annoying. Suboptimal social skills, high neuroticism, uptightness, conformity, etc. Stupid people can be fun. Just look at Trump.

Another super annoying thing as a guy is that lots of smart women feel like they have to remind you how smart and capable they are all the time. So it's like they're constantly trying to one-up you, but it's a game where they are the only participant. It reeks of insecurity and is annoying and weird.

Dating someone dumb beyond just casual sex would probably get old real quick. But on the other hand, dating someone very booksmart, like Hillary Clinton, but with little charm and few people skills would probably suck too.

[MTC29]

I usually date professional women, all of whom have university degrees, many with graduate degrees. These are us are typically complex women. On the flipside, I met a woman on cruise ship who was a retired New York City bus driver. I have a Master of Engineering degree and she had a high school diploma. BFD- this lady was fun to be with and fun to be around.

I think that your friend was looking for someone who actually makes him happy, and he found her

[Anonymous]

He's dated a bunch of girls who are type A. None of them made him happy. Now he's trying something different. Maybe that will make him happy.

Maybe he needed to feel needed. Maybe those other girls were too independent. Maybe he felt he needed more fun in his life and those other girls were boring.

Whatever his reasons, who he dates has nothing to do with you.

[FakeName123]

The relationships before didn't work. So he tries something different. 'duh

Quite frankly. Intelligence in women including career and whatnot is massively overrated. Especially by women themselves. That doesn't make a good female partner to most men. Your choice to do that, but mens choice to decide against it.

[DiscomfortZone]

Because he's sick of pretentious "intelligent" girls who feel they are too good for basic beauty maintanance. Sonetimes you want a physically attractive girl. So instead of being immature and bitter - go do something about your face/hair/body/makeup/whatever. Good luck!

[C3397]

I don't know why but I get this vibe that you are jealous and something happened between you. He can date anyone he wants.

[spartan55]

@C3397
Right? It seems to be the elephant in the room.

[SphynxUK]

Stupid because she’s a secretary? Or enjoys fashion? Does that also make her shallow? I think not.

[boggboss]

He has always had somthing and never felt full ot happy with it so he is giving somthing else a go remember it dont matter if u find her shallow or anyone else if she makes him happy he won

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I need to know his side of the story to say something.. maybe he didn't feel like he is attracted to her or maybe the love in the relationship was over.
Maybe he was feeling lonely and then all of a sudden he meets someone who makes him feel loved and that's why he made this decision.

[Arumin_Ian]

Wow if you are the one he broke up with, I can see why

[spartan55]

Hahhahaha yes,

[Starwitch23]

Maybe, he's attracted to her at the moment. Sometimes, you ditch caviar and decide to have McDonald's French fries. Attraction can be weird at times.

[Anonymous]

Either she’s hotter or he likes her personality better. If a girl is pretty, intelligent and rich but still mean, she’s no better. Or maybe they were too serious for him and he wants to have a fun life. Plenty of reasons

[MzAsh]

The smart women were too smart to fall for his bs and now he wants someone he can fool easily.

[spartan55]

@MzAsh
Or she just has a better personality for him? Why does it default to 'fooling' her, or somehow being the more powerful one in the relationship?

[MzAsh]

That could be true. It was something in the way the story was worded that makes me suspicious.

[spartan55]

I'm more suspicious of the op and her assumptions. And it's none of her business?

[MzAsh]

The fundamentals of what could be going on here are entirely relevant for discussion. I say as long as she’s not obsessing about these people personally, I totally understand the curiosity here.

[spartan55]

I think a reasonable person would say she is obsessing considering she attacks this woman's character in several ways. Pretty safe bet she's never met her in person, so, that's pretty unstable talking that much shit about who 'a boy' is currently dating. If she was curious, she would actually find out and meet her etc. But we all know that's not what this is about. She got dumped, and she is bitter af about it. That's the kind of stuff you keep to yourself.

[spartan55]

What do you mean the fundamentals of what's going on?

[MzAsh]

We don’t know whether or not this was a guy she ever dated. She doesn’t say that and instead describes him as her friend. I’ve made similar observations about many different people who I’ve known but then again that’s just what I do because I’m interested in human psychology and relationship dynamics.

[jspl90]

if you are interested in psychology wouldn't this say more about asker then this supposed boy

[Hadesheim]

No, ai can't intelligence is a prime factor. Maybe he just wants to experiment I don't think he will go too far when he realizez how important the connection of mind is in realizing connection between souls.

[FilmGuy93]

Never doubt man's capacity to fuck up when pretty women are involved

[ghost_135]

I would never date, and especially not marry, someone who only wants to spend money. work is proven to help mental health, and I don't want to live with some woman who is going crazy, in any way.

[fred_durst]

because she is hot in bed , that is the most important thing
sorry if i sounds rude , i just want to drop truth bomb here about men

[btbc92]

No. Men of your caliber. Good men wouldn't do that or have sex outside of marriage. All it says is that he finally found somebody who meets who he really is. That's all it says. The person that got dumped by him as somebody who's been used by him because he never liked it heard from the beginning. He just waited for his opportunity and that's why he dumped that person. He's trying to reclaim back his youth. That is a type of man that wants to play manhoe.

[Twalli]

No, but he is probably doing this because he hasn't been able to tie the knot with other girls. He wants to expierence a different kind of girl.

[darkcloud1945]

How about for just a change of pace from goody two shoes. lmfao