After me and my ex boyfriend broke up we slept together and he stopped in the middle of us having sex to tell me not to trust men. I think it triggered him that I was talking to him in a loving manner. Maybe he felt guilty but I find it odd that he might have felt guilty about something to the point of stopping intercourse to warn me about men. He just stopped and told me “hey listen to me... don’t trust everybody. Use men. Get what you want from them and don’t trust them.” If your wondering why I was so oblivious to his hints it’s probably because I had absolutely no relationship experience at all before I met him. And I was sheltered. However, that wasn’t the only time he told me something like that. Another time, he schooled me on how to choose a good man. He told me while we were sitting in the car talking that I should be with a man who always cherished me. He even said “I don’t want to think about you being with another guy. But if you ever get married I want you to be with a good man.” Ouch... I know humiliating to say that this is the kind of relationship I had with him, but this is what it was. He would sleep with me and then, like a big brother or a female friend, he would go into these speeches telling me to basically open my eyes. Everytime he would explain these things, I would sit silently and listen. I rarely added in my own 2 cents I just listened and tried to decipher its meaning. Contrary to his “treat men worse” speeches, he had also had a moment where he begged me to never change. He pleaded with me to always be the kind of woman I was and said “the world needs people like you.” Now that I’m older, and way more jaded, I think i understand that I was affecting him in a way he hadn’t probably predicted. I think that he was aware of the fact that he was taking advantage of my feelings and my naivety, but somehow he started to feel either guilty or overwhelmed with himself. It’s the only logical explanation I can think of. What do you think?
Most Helpful Opinions
He knows you can be easily manipulated. And he know how men can be because he is one. Sounds like a guilty conscience to me.0
You just have to be careful who you are with, be more picky.0
What Girls & Guys Said
Have you met men? We're (mostly) dogs with the IQ of pigs. lol0
He sounds annoying0
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He's only telling you what he is about and who he sexually, and what you yourself got caught up with sexually because you're having premarital sex inside of marriage. He's using you for sex you're using him for sex, he's telling you to get there to have anything by manipulating and using people because men is go to manipulate and use you. Here's the thing. That's only if you allow that person to do so, and sadly you already got yourself caught up with one that's why he's now your ex boyfriend and you're still sleeping with him. He's only telling you the reality of this world, and what you had got yourself caught up with. If you would have saved yourself, you probably would have spared yourself a lot of Heartache have you kept your virginity. So he's telling you the harsh consequences not only of having premarital sex, but every choice you make when you get a new partner. And even if you get legally married, there's no guarantee. That's all he's basically saying. What is also trying to say is that he's not a good man. He knows he's not a good man. He knows he's using you for sex, he knows you're trying to love him beyond that, but he can give you that because that's not in him to do right now. What he don't realize and what you don't realize is that technically you're already married the moment you had sex. When the penis enters the vagina you create a covenant, blood is spilled which is why when the hymen get stretch some blood gets on his penis and on the sheets. That's how serious it is.
So he's in a says giving you a warning oh, he's making it out like he's doing you a favor, but he ain't doing him self or you any favors by not being broken up and you already been sexually involved and you're still sexual with this man and you're not in no legal let alone stable commitment and you're putting yourself at risk not only for diseases but God forbid getting pregnant. And there are other things you got to think one now. So at this point you got to think now about your choices for the future. Are you going to continue to be sexually active outside of marriage, or you're actually going to change from it. Or whether or not you're going to have sex ever again. know if you want to be involved with another man again let alone with marriage. This is why he's telling you this. Like I said he thinks he's doing you a big favor but he's not. Because if he can't be there, if he can't be right for you, then why is he having sex with you and why is he using you? With the question you got to really ask yourself why are you allowing him to do this to you and you think your loving him and you don't understand what you doing. So before you ask about that question about with him warning you about men. You got to look deep inside yourself understand why you're doing this for yourself and why you do the things you're doing. Because if you don't understand yourself, if you don't understand your desires, why you had those desires coming while you're doing what you doing, that's how all the men can take advantage of you. That is what he's pretty much saying. But it all rests on you now and your future choices impacts your entire future. By you not being a virgin now, but you making this conscious choices, is a lot you now got sort through. Because the biggest thing you have to concern about is children being born and there's already generational curses that has to get settled because of the sexual connections you made with that person.
Trust me when I say, I said similar to my friend concerning about the same situation many years ago around your age. It's not about the guilt. Because if he felt guilty he would have never had sex with you to begin with. And even if that happened already which is bad enough it did, he would not be sleeping with you again. He's just saying that so that way you can have it so cool easy let down that he just finished using you, sadly you know what a lot of these men will say using you like a whatever and I don't mean to be derogatory, but sadly that's exactly what it is. Because you allowed this, he manipulated you the same way he's warning you about other people manipulating you. So there's really not much for you to actually read between the lines on because there's no lines for you to read between. He's just telling you who he is, who you slept with, and it's just to let it easy on you. In other words it's not a formal apology and he knows that you're very sensitive and naive with us. It's not that you're too good for him. He just knows who he is because of his own sexual decision. And he's basically saying he has no desire to change from it. And he knows he screwed you up. So basically as a way for him to so called, give retribution for the transgression that was done oh, he just giving you that advice as a way of payment because he can't give you your virginity back. Nor your innocence, or your right to experience true love and romance. True sex in your sexuality as GOD DESIGNED IT. Not this duped version that guy gave you.
All he did was basically showed you how he has sex. But you have yet to fully understand who you are. And what your real sexuality actually is. That's why you wait. Experience, rushing into things, getting into sex so quickly really isn't worth the year-long heartache. But this is your journey, these are your decisions, you have free will, I cannot tell you how to live your life, you have to decide what you really want and how you going to live it. Either you want instant noodles, or you want to get the real nutrition. I'm pretty sure I do not have to explain the analogy of what I just said. Because all you basically got no offense was just instant noodles.
You going to have to give bold and you're going to have to call your ex on his BS. This is just his way of being a coward and running away from responsibility. If he expects you to believe all those lies and why did he tell you all those lies just now, and he can't be the man that you need him to be that he promised you to be and whatever sweet nothings you told you and your ear and then you end up in bed with him but now that's the last time you were in bed with each other and he can't be your forever?
Experience isn't always the best teacher. But if you're not going to learn from this lesson of what you've been taught, then sadly than he's correct. For he's telling you that you're going to be in a cycle oh, because he knows what he already put you on the path one but again that was your choice. But your going to have to really ask God for forgiveness and get delivered from this. And have him set you on the right path but you're going to have to follow him and what he tells you to go and what you need to do. Because that's the only way you're going to be able to get out from this nightmare now that you're technically single again and no stable relationship or sex partner. But if nothing else makes sense. I understand what he's saying is that what he's saying is that men are either wolves or dogs or both. Sadly in this world that is the case. However, in order to not attract those kind of men, you got to get healed from inside out first and delivered. Because you don't know what you picked up from this guy, that includes demons and all. Make sure you get that straightened out first before you even make an attempt for another relationship again. I pray not only for your deliverance, but your salvation in Christ Jesus. And get on the straight and narrow path you need to be on.