Im married and just endured this scenario. It doesn't end well. But contrary to what others say here, I very much love my friend. I didn't expect or want an affair with her, but it was becoming very awkward. I never kept her a secret and my wife was friends with her too. Fact is, men look elsewhere when their needs at home are not being satisfied. My friend and i were exchanging gifts, food, and office visits. She was openly flirty. I didn't think much of it until my coworkers began rumoring we were having an affair. Ultimately I decided it must end. So i bluntly told my friend I love her, but could not be friends because it was hurting me professionally and personally. This devastaed her. She filed a harassment claim against me and quit her job.
Obviously she wasn't my friend... dont end up like this
You're playing with fire. Once you start messing around with a married man, then when you yourself get married, you won't be able to complain when your husband starts messing around with younger women. Up to you. Once you light that match, there's no going back.
*flaw* married older man. Just think about that for a minute.
A, he will never ever leave his wife for you
B, these things always end sour
C, I always think you need to look at it from “how would I feel if this happened to me?” How would you feel if you were happily married and your husband was cheating? How would you feel if your dad did that to your mum? How would you feel about the woman?
Absolutely no good can come of this and you shouldn’t be even taking a second thought as to why he’s chasing you. You should leave it there
The 2 kids means he's not getting sex anymore. Married guys are awesome lovers if you decide to hook up with him or be friends with benefits.
Really? How come?
They miss it so much from when they were single they'll do anything for you.
Opinion
25Opinion
Some guys want what they don't have. You say he is 13 years older than you, I assume that makes her a little older than you also. He probably dose think your beautiful but in the end your either just gonna be his whore that he sleeps with on the side or his wife finds out and leaves with his kids and after so long he will be cheating on you with another girl. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. Don't start that, I feel sorry for his wife but don't get yourself in that mess. Sorry for being so harsh but in this case the truth is going to hurt. Don't be the one that messed up the lives of his wife and kids.
I’ve been in a Situation like that before. usually if a married guy shows interest in you, he’s usually just looking for sex not a romantic relationship.
If he does like you romantically , he probably won’t leave his wife and kids for you.
Find yourself a single man without all the trouble and baggage. Much easier to date and less problems
The reason why a married man won’t easily leave his wife and kids even if he is romantically interested is because They have kids together. If he loves his children , he would understand the importance of staying together with his wife. A small crush on a girl won’t make him dump his wife on a whim
Sounds like a fake situation to me. Since it does happen accidental pregnancy happens too even on the pill and condoms break. Then what? Think he will leave his family for yours? Then you’ll take him to court for child support and with his own family already destroyed he’ll just move on to the next younger model.
He wants to have sex with you. Once you’re married that’s it. Game over.
I don’t mess around with married people.
Even if the hottest woman opens her legs and says stick it in. It’ll be extremely hard to walk away from that.
But trust me this guy is fked!
Average girls can get unmarried Better guys.
Unless you’re really unattractive in reality.
You're seriously stupid if you go into that beartrap.
Why the fuck are you fretting over some married man ( with kids)? Ignore the fucker and find some guy who is not going to use you as a side chick.
pre selection is a bitch, isn't it?
What does pre selection mean?
It means he’s already got a woman. His wife chose him. It means he passes the “a woman likes him” test. He’s a worthy dude. So other women think he’s qualified to be a partner. Pre selected by other women. Women tend to jump on dudes that are taken because other women marked them as safe
@Wester1967 Careful. That is a truth bomb many women cannot handle.
You better stop contacting or seeing him since you might also the one who might cause his family to fell apart.
Also, there might be a chance that the wife will be chasing after you and blaming for seducing her husband.
A friend of mine had the same relationship like you and it ended bad. The wife blamed her instead the husband.
No, he doesn’t like you... he wants to f*** you and that’s it. Don’t think you’re special because he’s most likely done it before with other women.
He is bored with his home life and is looking for some excitement. If you decide going down that route be very careful as it rarely ends well.
Run. Run away and never return. That man sounds like trash.
Why?
Because he's married and is exhibiting unfaithful tendencies. If he'll cheat on her he'll cheat on you.
I just can’t understand why he likes me if he has an amazing gorgeous wife.
Because he's a trash human being lol
I'm sure you're a very nice person, but if he's thinking you'll give him more than a platonic work friendship... he's trash. If you're considering messing with a married man... that doesn't speak highly of your character. I obviously take fidelity very seriously lol
Well the other day I brought some cookies to work that I baked. So he goes like “are those for me?” So I said “who else would they be for?” And then he flustered. Did I say something weird? Was just joking
I wouldn't say he's trash without knowing the specific case. Because I got stuck in this situation too, approaching it as a friendship and it began developing into something more persosnal. And I got blamed as the bad guy when i told her i could no longer be friends with her because it was creating an emotional conflict for me and my marriage. Go figure.
Because he's horny and a piece of shit. Dont entertain this loser.
He doesn't give a rats ass about you.
Just leave it well alone.
Why the hell would you want anything to do with someone who cheats on his family and or why would you want some guy with a broken marriage and 2 kids in tow?
Cause I’m attracted to him.
So what?
There are literally hundreds of thousands of other guys out there whom you would also be attracted to.
who*
Is 13 years a large age gap?
He is fucking married with children.
There is no scenario in which this ends well if you involve yourself.
Just take the advice that literally everyone is giving you and walk away.
Girl, keep your attraction to your self. And stay away from married people!! Marriage is a huge thing! It takes two to tango, so even if he is showing interest, don't encourage it, cut him out. Remember he is MARRIED!!! Marriage means a strict no no for a third person involvement.
@Pandupillu That isn't it at all.
She isn't married, he is, it is on him, not her, to keep his vows.
The issue is that if the guy were to do something with her he would be demonstrating that he is a cheat, that is the basis for not doing something with the guy.
As I said earlier it takes two to tango, the guy is definitely a creep and a cheat there is definitely no doubt about that. But she is not right either, inspite of knowing that he is married. She is clearly showing interest in him and encouraging him. She is at fault too.
@Pandupillu How is she at fault?
She hasn't entered into any kind of agreement.
Cause she is encouraging that behaviour! How is it not her fault too? Look at some of the earlier comments where you can clearly come to know that she is encouraging him. She isn't that innocent. If some married men were to show interest in me I would clearly cut him off with a warning.
@Pandupillu You are being completely absurd.
She isn't in a contract.
What about that can't you grasp?
You dont get to blame other people for the choices that you make.
She doesn't have to be in a contract to encourage that kind of behaviour. All I am Saying is if the guy is at fault, the girl is at fault too cause she is encouraging it. Let's reverse the gender. If a married woman does this to an unmarried men, she is obviously at fault, but if the unmarried men inspite of knowing her marital status welcomes that kind of behaviour don't you think that would be wrong on his side?
@Pandupillu Gender is nothing what so ever to do with this.
Look if i buy a car on hire purchase and agree to pay installments over time for it and then some other car salesman convinces me to buy another car and then i can't make the payments on the first car, who is at fault?
Is it me or is it the salesmen?
It should be perfectly obvious to you that I alone am at fault, it is solely my responsibility to honour the agreements that I have entered into.
This is not different.
Ya but people and cars are different, in this case here emotions are involved. The third person may not face any legal consequence. But if it were to happen to you , wouldn't you resent the third person? You will obviously take some action (divorce, seperation or fights) whatever against your spouse. But wouldn't you also resent the other guy/girl for welcoming this behaviour knowing that they were married? Well if it were me I definitely would. If my husband does that I'll leave him, but I'll also hate the person for involving themselves with him. Responsibility goes on both sides. I am pretty sure you would hate to see a man flirt with your wife knowing that she is married.
@Pandupillu IT IS NOT DIFFERENT.
I would hold the married person 100% responsible and if i were married to a woman who was allowing men to flirt with her etc and not shutting them down I would consider the relationship to be over.
Obviously the married person is responsible 100 % there is no denying that. In this scenario however not only is the married person initiating it, the non married person is encouraging it, inspite of knowing very well he is married. So if the non married person has even a little decency, they will stay away from them.
@Pandupillu Whether you think it is in good taste or not is irrelevant, fault and blame are about responsibility which 100% with the married person.
I respectfully disagree. I don't want to continue this anymore. ✌️
@Pandupillu Im sorry but that is a lot of bullshit.
You aren't continuing because you dont have an argument, I have demonstrated to you that I am correct and you know that but you dont in fact have enough respect to just concede the point so what you do instead is with draw and pretend that we are on equal ground.
We are not.
I don't want to continue because I am tired of explaining the basic simple concept. Which you are clearly either not getting or pretending not to get. I have a life outside this social platform and it is exhausting to come back only to continue to say the same stuff again and again and the person stil not get it. And I don't give a damn about being on an equal ground with not just you, but with anyone for that matter. You are not completely correct about adultery and I still FIRMLY stand by the statements I made Feel free to have the last say on this.
Does it matter why?
Don't entertain it and move on. You know he's married; why think about it long enough to ask this question?
The "why" is irrelevant. All you have to do is say no. Just say No.
Why would he be interested in you? Why should you even think of him, let alone entertain him? What realistically could you possibly offer him, that he can't get from his wife?
Well the other day I brought some cookies to work that I baked. So he goes like “are those for me?” So I said “who else would they be for?” Did I say something weird? Was just joking
That was a really dumb thing to say. Stop encouraging him.
You are purposely trying to encourage him and then asking whther you said something weired? Have some morals and stay away from him.
Gosh I feel really bad for his wife. Don’t do anything just say no you could ruin a marriage and the lives of those kids
His wife will know in the end and his marriage will end so just leave him before you ruin everything it is that simple.
He must like them young. How does he show he likes you?
Maybe you represent adventure & scandalous delight?
He's looking to cheat, most likely bored at he and wants to mix it up
But he’s married. I don’t know what to do. And to be honest, I really like him too. But so much is at stake from his end. I’m 13 years younger. I can’t understand how he’s ok with this.
Please help. We have a friendly/flirty rapport. And we look into each other’s eyes a lot. He looks at my lips a lot. Please help me, as someone older than me, give me advice
On your end of things, it's simple. If you want to pursue a fling with him, by all means go ahead. The risk factor as you stated is fully on him, after all if he's caught than he's the one that fucked up.
The only thing I would say, is that don't expect it to turn into anything more than a physical relationship, you'll be a side piece, a fuck buddy. If you're ok with that, than go enjoy yourself.
Well the other day I brought some cookies to work that I baked. So he goes like “are those for me?” So I said “who else would they be for?” Did I say something weird? Was just joking
Ok thanks.
I’ll stop flirting then
Because he feels you're reciprocating his feelings. You make him feel good. Takes two to dance, sweetheart. If you werent leading him on, most guys won't do anything
Realize that he doesn't want you as hard as that is its true. You deserve way more that just being a side chic.
Dont. Be. A. Home. Wrecker. Control your self. You dont need a married man, Stop thinking with your vagina, and start thinking with your head.
Why is it so hard to realise men or humans for that matter can't be completely faithful to 1 person?
Your age obviously and plus your body is probably real tight
He just wants in your pants and he's probably cheated on his wife before.
He probably has some money and learned that licking clit has benefits.
He wants something outside of the home life, how do you feel about it it, pm me if you want, i will not judge
You’re something different that’s pretty much, variety is the spice of life
But he’s married. I don’t know what to do. And to be honest, I really like him too. But so much is at stake from his end. I’m 13 years younger. I can’t understand how he’s ok with this.
Please help. We have a friendly/flirty rapport. And we look into each other’s eyes a lot. He looks at my lips a lot. Please help me, as someone older than me, give me advice
Just tell him how you feel, the age difference is really not that bad but he i married and with kids, it cost a lot in his situation, to get divorced but he probably just wants you on the side
And what about his wife who is so pretty and smart? Why me and not her?
People get used to their looks and don’t see what you see , maybe she is boring
Do you think he’d be using me if he kissed me?
Probably yeah
Well the other day I brought some cookies to work that I baked. So he goes like “are those for me?” So I said “who else would they be for?” And then he flustered. Did I say something weird? Was just joking
Well it was kind of harmless flirting but he took it a little bit more serious
Oh ok. I guess I might be a little flirty yes.
Yeah and it probably excites him because you’re much younger, older guys always like younger women
Oh ok I get it. So you think I’m a flirt if I said that?
It seems like it to him
You dont know why. My wife is gorgeous too. In my case, she wouldn't defend or back me up. I do all the housework and work full time. She is a stay at home mom. And My in laws ran my life and took control of raising my kids. I felt used and trapped. You can't see these things
He's only after you for sex, leave it alone.
I'd ask him, it's the easiest to find find out
Why does this response appear on here so often? In real practice, asking for a truthful answer doesn't actually work. People, especially many women clam up with emotionally challenging conflict and won't tell you the answer your need to hear
@mobiusforniner It always worked for me.
He enjoys the attention.
the wife always makes the man miserable.
Just two words: stay away!!
He wants you cause your hot
He want, new taste, young and tight
Because she needs some fun
He is bored with his wife
Stay away baby
Tell HIM to stay away from ME. Cause he ain’t staying away at all
Then tell the police. Get a restraining order.
Tell his wife, too.
He wants a mistress
ok... and?
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