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Why are men cheating on a beautiful, smart and kind women? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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Depends on who she's dating and the woman in question, is your "smart, beautiful and kind" woman actually a midwitted, average looking, kind of bitchy shrew? Is she cheating? Is the guy a well known player? Is their relationship shit? You tell me.
Probably they just want dirty sex and beautiful, kind, smart women dedicate all their energy to being beautiful, kind, and smart, instead of dedicating any time to figuring out how to be a dirty cock fiend. But that's just my guess..
Umm.. We can do both.
Of course they can. It's just that it's rare for girls to actually do both. Plus if a girl does both, to some guys, it can be a bit intimidating, as there will be pressure to keep her sexually satisfied that sounded thrilling at the start but may turn out to exceed what a guy is capable of. When that happens, I call it "his eyes were bigger than his balls."
So, there is a middle road upon which is perfect compatibility. And the more exceptional a girl is the more exceptional a guy compatible with her will need to be. It may not make sense that a guy would cheat if a girl is too good for him but if a girl is too bad for him it does make sense and being disappointed in oneself all the time feels basically the same as being disappointed in someone else; There is a huge difference between resentment and regret but not that much difference in what people experiencing either end up doing.
Well, people cheat all the time for all different reasons. Very little of that has to do with logistics. It's usually something emotional that is missing. I'm constantly told I "date down" and I find it really insulting to be honest. I like what I like and go after it. It never has to do with money or looks. I once dated a guy for 2 years because he got the hiccups whenever he laughed too much and this tickled me to no end. Small pleasures baby.. small pleasures
Hm. Well, my guess is you tend to find men that have low-ish self esteem and may even make it lower because they can't convince themselves they deserve you. If they cheat it is likely to alleviate the pressure that comes with feeling a need to constantly put on a performance.
But fortunately self esteem is something most men get automatically as they get older and realize how limited everyone else is. So, your perceived status as "too good for most of the guys you know" has a built in expiration. Still is probably annoying you have to wait for it but at least it isn't forever, eh?
Wait for what exactly? Deserve me? I'm not a piece of cake... I mean that in the sense of, That if I am interested and it's mutual... They have already caught my interest. They good. Whatever fresh hell is going on in their heads? I would hope they would just talk to me about it. People are complex. I would never be so vain to assume I know everything about anyone simply by looking at them. As far as my friends opinion on men that I date... Their agenda revolves around status, money and their perception of what's attractive. So it's dismissed. I just feel like everyone overthinks this shit to no end. You can never tell what's going to happen.
Correct. But compound it with the fact that learning to communicate has actually become further out of reach for a lot of people over the years.
They feel they can get away with it, they don’t care about that particular woman, they get too caught up in the heat of the moment, they could be seduced, they might have a crush on that girl, they’re bored of the girl they’re with that they cheated on. Those are the reasons I could think of off the top of my head
They could be being treated poorly but still love her and not want to leave, or it's an open relationship but not really, or to get back at her for doing it first
Because they are stupid and think they won't get caught. They are bored with their family role, and want an adventure to plant their penis and get an std. Smart women will leave these pigs 🙂 like my mom did.
Some men and women don't realize what they have until it's gone. I have never or will ever cheat on anyone. I will not be the person that helps someone to cheat. If you are not that happy with that person just separate from them.
From what I've learned, it isn't about being beautiful or smart and that guys simply cheat with whom makes them feel more wanted or someone who can stroke their ego a little more.
Because you’re notary beautiful, smart, or kind as you think… probably kind. Many women claim to be nice but are total bitches… nice guy for the ladies.
Cheating is not about sexual satisfaction. Cheating is about taking risks and breaking the rules for fun. Cheaters do that because their sense of obligation to their partner is minimal.
cheating occurs in dysfunctional relationships. thats something you failed to point out. If a man is truly happy with the person he is with, he would have no need for another woman.
@shaysh87 A person who cheats is disposed to cheating before they ever get into a relationship. They have some personality flaws. As a result, the relationship they enter is flawed, but that is not the cause of the cheating.
It’s true that someone who cheats is already flawed prior to entering the relationship but I’m just telling you that over 90% of the time, cheating occurs in dysfunctional relationships
@shaysh87 An I suspect that at least 90% of the relationships which cheaters attempt to have are dysfunctional.
It sounds like you are trying to suggest that if a man cheats, it must be because his female partner at home was doing something wrong. I have had two partners cheat on me and it wasn't because they couldn't get sexual attention at home.
I think that many people try to justify neglecting their own marriages / relationships by blaming the cheater. Just because your husband was wrong for cheating , it doesn't mean that you were right for neglecting your own marriage. Everything happens for a reason. You are solely responsible for your own marriage. If you sense something is wrong with your relationship / marriage, you talk it out with your spouse. You have no idea how many people out there only care about what they can get out of a relationship and never think about their spouses needs. And you are also solely responsible for selecting a man that has good character and doesn't cheat. If you marry a guy who you know you cannot trust, then he cheats on you. Then you really have no right to complain. Because you knew you married someone you could not trust.
Many adults on here act like entitled babies. Take absolutely no responsibility for their own role in dysfunctional relationships. And if anything bad happens, its always everyone else's fault but theirs. Its the immaturity thats the problem. These people weren't raised with the mindset that they are the sole ones responsible for themselves. there's nobody else that is responsible for your own safety in this world
If the relationship seems to be going well but they cheated on you, you probably weren't the one for them. Fulfilled happy people in happy relationships usually have no reason to cheat.
@shaysh87 By your responses, I would guess (and I might be wrong) tat you have cheated on a partner in the past.
1. " You have no idea how many people out there only care about what they can get out of a relationship and never think about their spouses needs." Why do you think that I have no idea? I have almost none times as much adult experience as you do, and I was a mental health counsellor for about 6 years.
2. " If you marry a guy who you know you cannot trust, then he cheats on you. Then you really have no right to complain. Because you knew you married someone you could not trust." Do you honestly think that most victims of a cheating spouse married the person KNOWING or STRONGLY SUSPECTING that they would cheat. It may happen occasionally, but it is not the way things normally work.
3. "Many adults on here act like entitled babies. Take absolutely no responsibility for their own role in dysfunctional relationships." Yes, there are people who only look for someone else to blame, but. . . NOTHING that happens within a relationship is a valid reason to be unfaithful to your partner.
Obviously, you and I aren't going to agree, and you don't need to respond, but you probably want to have the last word.
To answer your question, I've never had a relationship before. So no, I've never had an affair.
[1. " You have no idea how many people out there only care about what they can get out of a relationship and never think about their spouses needs." Why do you think that I have no idea? I have almost none times as much adult experience as you do, and I was a mental health counsellor for about 6 years.]
I’ve met a ton of cheating guys over the internet over the course of many many years. Frequently a lot of these guys are in chronically dysfunctional relationships. Some of these guys don’t even want to cheat but their marriages are just so unfulfilling they need someone else to fulfill their needs, in order to stay married to their incompetent wives. The reality is, they don’t want to leave their wives but they are just so unfulfilled. Almost every single guy who cheats on his wife is usually chronically unfulfilled in some way shape or form.
[2. " If you marry a guy who you know you cannot trust, then he cheats on you. Then you really have no right to complain. Because you knew you married someone you could not trust."
Do you honestly think that most victims of a cheating spouse married the person KNOWING or STRONGLY SUSPECTING that they would cheat. It may happen occasionally, but it is not the way things normally work.]
I suggest you stop making excuses for a irresponsible folks who neglect their own marriages. Because as you have stated earlier , cheaters tend to be flawed people (right from the beginning of the relationship). If you are with a flawed man who thinks cheating is secretly ok, then you shouldn’t found out about that before proceeding to marriage. Run some tests on him. After being someone for many years, you likely would know them very well. Frequently a lot of women on here often claim “I am worried that my boyfriend will cheat on me”. If you have to worry about your man cheating on you, it means HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU.
[3. "Many adults on here act like entitled babies. Take absolutely no responsibility for their own role in dysfunctional relationships." Yes, there are people who only look for someone else to blame, but. . . NOTHING that happens within a relationship is a valid reason to be unfaithful to your partner.
Obviously, you and I aren't going to agree, and you don't need to respond, but you probably want to have the last word.]
Of course you wouldn’t agree with me. Because humans are designed to be EMOTIONAL THINKERS, NOT LOGICAL THINKERS. People run according to emotions and ego. When you get cheated on, putting all the blame on your cheating partner FEELS BETTER than reevaluating your role in the failed relationship.
By no means, am I justifying cheating in any way shape or form. Cheating is a very lowly thing to do. But just because the cheater is wrong, it doesn't necessarily make you right.
When people get cheated on, there is always a blame game going on.
Who is right? Who is wrong?
Reality is, dysfunctional relationships takes two parties to occur. It takes two to tango. There is a cause and effect relationship going on.
And of course, you're responsible for marrying a man of good character. If you're willing to overlook some serious flaws such as him being sneaky and deceiving. Don't complain if he deceives you one day.
@shaysh87 I KNEW you were one of those who wants the last word! And I knew you had absolutely no experience with what you are talking about. And perhaps you should look at yourself and determine why you have never had a relationship.
I've been in relationships for ffty years, you've NEVER been in one, and you are lecturing me! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Being able to think and see things from my perspective requires a lot of logical and objective thinking. Its not something the overwhelming majority of folks can do. You won't agree with me because can't think like me.
[I KNEW you were one of those who wants the last word! And I knew you had absolutely no experience with what you are talking about. And perhaps you should look at yourself and determine why you have never had a relationship.
I've been in relationships for ffty years, you've NEVER been in one, and you are lecturing me! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!]
This is just proof that you're wayy too emotional to be able to logically discuss anything.
I'm single because I haven't found anyone I am romantically attracted to. It doesn't mean I haven't had guys who had fallen for me. I've had many suitors , none of which i was ever attracted to.
@shaysh87 Wasn't the main focus of your argument that people look for someone else to blame when something goes wrong?
And didn't you refuse to respond to my observation that you have absolutely no experience in relationships?
And don't you need to have the final word so you can feel that you "won?" News flash: if you are more interested in winning arguments than finding ways to get along with people, you will die alone with your cats.
I'm waiting for it! Prove me right!
Everything happens for a reason. Nobody cheats for absolutely no reason. If your partner cheated on you, chances are you weren't fulfilling her or you weren't the right one for her. there's no point in arguing with this fact. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Facts are facts. Its not about "who won".
[I'm waiting for it! Prove me right!]
there's nothing right about neglecting your own relationship.
@shaysh87 Nothing is as laughable as a young person who is so convinced of the correctness of their unfounded opinions that their self-righteousness converts their opinions into facts.
I've had enough of this. Goodbye.
Some people don't get wiser as they get older. Just like how some people never mature as they enter old age. I've been on here for a long time and I've seen you write some pretty immature things yourself.
Facts are facts. Trying to cast facts as " opinions" without any logical legitimate explanation gives your argument no weight. You can't even disprove what I've said.
@shaysh87 You don't understand goodbye, do you?
could be anything from daddy issues to an overinflated ego, to a delusional partner. Who knows, I dont get it. If you cheat you're just crap.
Because the men themselves feel insecure and unworthy. Spoken from experience. It’s typically the insecure one that cheats.
I don't completely agree.
Some insecure man won't cheat simply because they know they were lucky to find one, why risk to lose her?
@Rizack I’m not saying all insecure men cheat.. I’m saying men that do cheat are insecure
They either fear commitment, have never truly loved someone, are never satisfied, or just have too many options to wana give up the rest
Their are men and woman out there who give themselves permission to cheat. That’s what it boils down to.
because they don't truly love them and they are horrible people who are selfish
Because it's not about the woman. People cheat because of their own issues.
Are you a cheater to know that?
No, but I've been close many times. One of the reasons I work on myself, to make sure I am in control of my own actions. Trauma is a bitch to work on, but necessary.
LoL I was joking.
Sometimes we lose control. And if we liked the sensation, that's going to happen again; we are going to pursue that pleasure. I never cheated, but I was going to fall into a manipulation. Fortunately, I could keep my dignity. Tho now I kinda like that thrill. That's what I am afraid of.
It's addictive to break the rules and get away with it, even the thought alone is both thrilling and terrifying.
The answer to that is obvious - If a girl is too young to know why, then she's too young to believe, or heed, the truth.
Or men just lie until they get caught🙄🙄🙄it some many pretenders and only the true colors starts to show when you don’t get what they want
What I personally think is I think they get bored. Whether it is intimacy, lifestyle or etc. But I am open for other perspectives after all these can’t be the only reasons✌🏽
"No matter how hot she is, there's always someone out there who's life she is making worse"
Goes the same for guys as well of course, but you get the idea.
i would assume that someone who's about to cheat doesn't really consider those qualities when they are cheating.
Women already have an inflated sense of self, so if she's anywhere above average, she's constantly going to think "she deserves better".
Most guys know that, and realize they are a placeholder to women like that. I'm not going to be the fool staying faithful, while she's constantly looking to "move up"
For the same reason that women cheat on handsome, smart and kind men. Cuz they trash.