friends with benefits
It’s not till months or next year the guy makes the girl known to the public (family and friends).
So guys, why hold off for so long to let the world know you are seeing a girl?
I just had this conversation w/ a woman the other day. I can't speak for other guys but for me its pretty simple. Woman are a numbers game and I want to keep as many as possible, making your involvement public w/ one instantly limits your opportunities w/ others. Typically men are the ones that initiate contact and women receive so when you begin a relationship it's the man who has to change his behavior ie stop initiating contact, women dont have to change. in my opinion that's usually why it takes men longer to get over breakups, because the time period is so long between women whereas whenever woman are ready there is a pool of guys waiting for them. So it's a good strategy if you're a guy, but can be challenging if you're involved w/ what I call a blocker.
If the guy is really into a girl, they don't keep her a secret.
I didn't know keeping her a secret was an option.
I will say, if things get serious I will introduce her to everyone... but that is at least 3 to 6 months into serious dating.
I have never done Friends with Benefits.
I don't want to introduce her to Family until its more serious, cause what happens is... if you do it short term, then next new person, your family is like what happened to your ex.
Friends though, usually double date or hang out together.
I'd say if a guy is keeping someone a secret, they don't want others to know... maybe have another relationship going on... and she is the secret for fun that they are just using for sex or something.
It's because of women nature in dating most dates leads to nothing so you don't bother friends and family with them. They don't need to know or keep track of failures only the ones that last enough to be serious. So if guys had better odds this wouldn't have been a thing.
Maybe they have messed up friends and family and don't want them around her. Or maybe they want to be together a while first to see if it is likely to last before introducing them.
Or maybe they are already in a relationship with someone else and are hiding it while they cheat.
I don't know.
I don't keep anything secret but I also don't post on facebook or anywhere else like that. I will not run to all friends and family until I am sure it is going to work. That may take weeks at least. If someone asks, I will tell them. But I almost never proactively inform anyone about my encounters with women. Once I talk face to face with my mother, she will ask and find out and tell everyone.
i think guys feel a bit comfortable about going public with a girl when they themselves are more comfortable with their feelings.. much of it is an ego aspect... guys want to find stability first if they really care and not make a fool of themselves by being to fast with such things
For the most part I do not do this. My friends will know right away if I ever date again. However, with my family, I wait until things are serious. My mom is the type to really grill a woman, so she knows if I introduce her to a girlfriend then proposing is somewhere on my mind.
Most of times it's bcoz guy himself is not sure about his relationship!! Or A guy thinks that his relationship is still not upto a particular stage where he'll make it public.
It's good for both the partners in relationship either ways!!
There are very few guys who keeps it as secret ONLY FOR SAKE OF FLIRTING with someone else..
Doesn't really have to do with gender.
It's more the person in question and it can be a lot of different reasons why someone does that.
Here are some common ones.
Ashamed, doesn't want others to know or for that matter mess thing's up for them...
I will answer this why I would keep it a secret. I would keep it a secret because would not post every single day that this person partner or make like lovey-dovey videos on media. Gross. I just wouldn't don't do that. If someone asked if I was in a relationship I would answer honestly say something like “oh we just decided we don't want attention from people” and I would also say something like just say “We just don't like the attention.”
Lots of reasons:
Not sure yet gow serious it is,
Figuring out if you are cray
Figuring out if you can handle cray family
Not wanting to be seen as a ho if we don't make it
Maybe I just want in your panties and that's my boundary
I just like to be private more. Women gossip and that's annoying. People want to tell you how to do everything as a third wheel. Always someone with their unwarranted "advice". Also some miserable people try to break up happy couples.
I don't do this...
but, when I was way younger in school... I just didn't "bring girlfriends home" lol, but there was no intention to keep them secret, I just... didn't feel like it
I do that to come to terms with my own feelings and to gain security around her. I sometimes fear that one of my guy friends steps in as a rival and she takes him instead.
Usually because he's got her and one or two or three more that he's not telling anyone about it either.
It’s usually because they haven’t made up their mind about you yet and/or they have very very incredibly nosy people who are always checking up on their relationships.
I know for me I simply had one friend that was female in highschool. And my family and friends would not stop teasing me or talk about her as if we were dating which we weren't. And it got old instantly. So I know I wouldn't say anything.
I don't really think that's a widespread phenomenon. Being kept a secret is sketchy...
If I’m in a relationship with someone, I admit I don’t see the need to make it public. As long as our hearts are together and our loved ones know this, that’s all that matters.
They are not a sport car whome I like to show off with.
I like my privacy but won't hide her In my basement.
May e he is shy or either he thinks she will not be accepted by his friends and family or they won't adjust
In my family, my siblings would get engaged and never introduced anybody in the family to their fiance until after the fact. Then they would give me a tude if I didn't introduce a girlfriend on the 2nd date. Plus my mom would try to get way too deep into my relationship. Why would I want her either scaring my girlfriend off or getting private info from my girlfriend? So in reaction to that I just stopped sharing any info at all. No introductions to family until I really decided I wanted to be with this woman for a really long time.
I never hid a girlfriend from friends.
You can't complain about not being invited to a family holiday dinner when you're just friends with benefits. The friends part is a joke, from what I've heard.
The friends part can turn into a joke yes. But there is a difference.
When I first started sleeping with this particular man he’d ask me at min a day in advance about coming over. When he’d come over we may chat first then get into. More times than not we’d get into it then lay there naked chatting for a bit. When he’d leave I’d go to the door say good bye we’d kiss goodbye. He’d get home and text me good night. He bought me a sex toy one time in there. Now I don't know why or what happened. Now he asks same day, we get to it. And now he almost instantly gets up and leaves. We still kiss good bye and it’s hit and miss with the good night text now. Oh and before we’d chat like friends talk even when sex wasn’t on the table that day or week. Now only time I hear from him is if he’s in the mood to het fucked. It’s depressing now. So yeah. I’d say we started out like a friends with benefits. and now we’re “fuck buddies”. Lame
@alleon You can't live in a way that shows you don't respect yourself & then expect others to respect you. You're now feeling like he doesn't respect you but it's not a surprise. It's like running with a full cup of water in your hand & then being surprised that you spilled some water. Even back when you two would talk it was nothing more than pretend, from what I can see. Do you know men sometimes pay a hooker to pretend to be his girlfriend? It doesn't mean he actually would take her seriously in a relationship or invite her to his mom & dad's Thanksgiving dinner.
Anyhow, you will never find the right/best guy if you waste time on friends with benefits cause you'll never be able to focus on the right guy.
Oh I know. You’re right. I’ve backed out of it
@alleon If you want a traditional guy, check out my MyTakes too.