I'm getting back in the dating game but what is up with my ex? Why is he keeping this up?

[sd1223]

To make a long story short, my ex told me back in September that he was seeing another girl. For most this year, him and I had been talking I thought things were getting back on track for us to get together. Well toward the end of last month, he ended up telling me that things got serious between them and that we couldn't talk anymore. So after that I didn't contact him like he asked. Well yesterday I was at work and he texted me hey and tried to call me. I told him I could text but would call later. Anyway, he said that he figured he would give me closure. So that's when I went ahead and called him. That's when he told me that things didn't work out between him and the girl. While this conversation was happening, I didn't really understand what this had to do with closure in my mind. Well we ended up having an emotional conversation and he ended up going into detail about why the situation played out the way that it did between us. The conversation was only 20 minutes since I had to be back at work. So I talked this all out with my friend last night, and she suggested asking why things didn't work with the girl since he did bring it up to me. I asked him if he was still up. So this morning he texted to say that he wanted to let me know that he was still dealing this girl after the text from last night. That's when I called him once again and we talked some more. That's when he told me that he wasn't in love with me, he loves but that he is love with this girl. He told me that she loves him but isn't in love with him. So basically she's to him what he is to me. He also told me that she knows about me and that we've been intimate. But he said he told her that I'm a good woman and would make a wife and he said she got jealous and asked him why he wasn't with me. But I just wonder why he's coming back and doing all this and when I'm starting to move on with something else. I don't really understand what the point of the random call was. What do you guys think?

Updates

+1 y

I also want to add that he pretty much tried to say that we weren't together when he started talking o this girl and I understand that. But the way we were talking, it was as more than friends kind of like how we were talking the first time around like before we started dating. So I was trying to explain to him that it was wrong to lead me on when he was talking to someone else. But he came out of nowhere with this, but when I wanted to talk about it some weeks back, he was responding to an..

Updates

+1 y

.. extent and even the final text he didn't have much to say. When I pointed out how he would feel if I did the same thing to him that he did to me, he got defensive and told me not to come at him like that. I just don't really understand why this is all coming up with him.

[ohshee]

Sometimes when things like this happens. It happens to make us think. and to be honest with ourselves. It makes us grow and we become stronger it shapes us on who we become in life or who we want to be. Your words tell me you have a beautiful heart. And your beautiful within I think it was meant prove to yourself and how strong you really are

[whosnumber1]

pretty simple solution here...

1. nuke your ex completely. to not converse with him

2. get back in the dating game

problem solved!!!

[sd1223]

If you don't mind me asking, what is his motive? That's what I'm wishing to understand since he hit me up

[whosnumber1]

he's probably looking for a "shoulder to cry on"

he should be bleeding his heart to his buddies or his sister, not his ex girlfriend. you need to nuke him

[whosnumber1]

all you have to do is send him a simple one liner. "do not contact me"

nuked

[whosnumber1]

oh and by the way I love the opening line in your description. "to make a long story short..." bwahahaha

[sd1223]

My mom told me the same thing about cutting him off, I don't want to be a spiteful person as much as he's done to me. I told him that I'm always here for him no matter what, but he will be doing his thing and I will be doing mine. Why was I his shoulder to cry on, do you think?

[sd1223]

Yeah I was trying to keep it short because it was a whole thing but I still had to get the details in. Lol if GAG didn't have a limit it would've been longer.

[whosnumber1]

you need to listen to your mom. he is emotionally using you. you need to remember that your #1 not him. you need to cut him off and date some other dude (s) who are more deserving

[sd1223]

I know I need to, him and I won't be talking anytime as of right now, if we ever do get back in contact, I'm sure he'll be the one to contact me again. I am talking to a much better guy right now who actually does deserve me.

[whosnumber1]

Awesome! don't take shit and don't be a doormat. give love only to those who deserve you baby!!!

[sd1223]

Thank you so much! That’s what my mom said when I entertain my ex I’m being walked all over. I’d be lying if I said he wouldn’t always mean something to me despite what we’ve gone through, that’s why I hold on and don’t let go. But I have someone new in my life and I’m interested to see where things go between us. It did help the process along in moving on from how I felt about my ex.

[whosnumber1]

all my relationships good and bad mean something to me and are an important part of my life. but you need to recognize when your the one doing most of the giving. if something doesn't feel right about a relationship or its becoming work or is causing you stress / anxiety then something is wrong and you need to take a step back.

[whosnumber1]

at 24 if a boy is causing you stress is a no Brainer, move on, and fast!!!

feel free to hit me up if you need advice in the future

[sd1223]

Thank you and I sure will!

[emperor90]

He is toying u

[sd1223]

I know that but if he is so in love with this girl why come at me with all this. Why tell her that I would be a good wife to the other girl, he said they were talking about their pasts with each other and that's how I ended up coming up. But she got jealous. If he's not in love with me, why go there and say all that, I just don't get what he gets out of this, because I have moved on with someone else, and he does know about this guy.

[sd1223]

He said he didn't tell me that things didn't work out for them because he wanted to be with me, he basically is standing on the fact that it's about closure.