My boyfriend slapped me and now he’s apologizing. Should I take him back?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I had a serious argument of recent when he was talking to me about how angry I made him feel in our previous fights with my words and doings. We were laying out our grievances and supposedly talking in anger but then when he got to him to speak , he got emotional and very angry talking about what I did and started shouting, warning never to try it again. I tried to stop him but he didn’t listen and then kept on flaring up. Stood up and came towards me as I was back against a wall ( cause I was standing there already) came to my face screaming f.. k you repeatedly of which I didn’t respond , next thing he reached to grab my head. I got scared at this point and started punching him to leave me alone before anything else. He slapped me. Tears immediately ran down his eyes. I got pissed, ended things there immediately and left the house. He has been apologizing since then. He has history of slapping his ex once. Said she got him angry on purpose and saying mean things calling him a bastard and all he also said she was toxic and left her. We have a past of him verbally insulting me and shouting of which I later got tired of crying and started doing it too in defense to protect my emotions. We only got worse. One day he threw me out of his house in a heated argument and I broke up with him. Since then we’ve been trying to make things all better and heal. He says he fights for what he loves and so should I too. If I do love him. We’ve been good ever since until this recent incident. I really am confused. Cause he’s been begging, saying it’s just a reaction to my punch but I wonder why didn’t he just feel worried at my reaction and left me there but instead slap me. I’m worried I might be on my way to physical abuse from someone who can't control his emotions. No matter how hard he tries or is this just a weird coincidence to clash of emotions and defense. I really would appreciate responses. And if possible a free therapy session. I just want to be fine.

[CelineBV]

If you haven't made him your ex boyfriend and press charges against him, then you should do that now. Things will not change. He will keep begging every time it happens until he no longer feels any remorse for it. Do not take him back. There are other men that don't ever hit women no matter how stress out they are (in fact there are other men that don't hit women not even if she punches them). Don't you want a man like that over that shitty ''boyfriend'' that slaps a girlfriend?

[Star_88]

You should have reported him to police.
The way you described it, he's a typical abusive toxic male.
If you wanna stay with him then be prepared to be beaten, kicked, slapped and then dumped whenever he gets bored of you.

[Star_88]

Also he's lying and his apologies are nothing. He'll abuse you again if you have fights in the future.

[Tabasco25]

Show u love him by not staying with him , untill he can figure out the root cause of not having selfcontrol. Don't shame or gossip about him just let him know he broke your trust with doing that. Also take responsibility for what actions u may have done. Just my in my opinion

[boggboss]

What do u mean on you're way you're already there its evedent that thing will not change all they have done is get worst from verbal to being thrown out to now hitting you would be a fool to take him back

[PrettyPriya]

Absolutely no you should not take him back. He obviously cannot control his temper and physically assaulted you. He also has a history of it.

RUN

[Asker]

Thank you😔

[Asker]

But I really do love him

[PrettyPriya]

Your comment of "but I really do love him" needs some evaluating. Do you think he really loves you? He physically assaulted you. That is not love...

I'm sorry, but you are going to have to realize it for yourself. He isn't going to change. What happens next time? Maybe not a slap but a punch... maybe worse.

I really do hope you take some time to sit, think and reflect and do what is best for you.

[Anonymous]

You punched him. He slapped you. You started it and showed no signs of regret. He defended himself and showed signs of regret.

You're the asshole here.

[Midori999]

leave him. do not take him back, that'll only prove that you accept him slapping you.

[Robertfootball]

Oh look, another woman dating an abusive bum. Never heard of that before.🙄

[msc545]

Oh, look, another man dating a physically assaultive woman. I've heard of that a lot.

[Lottifan]

Get rid of him, Whatever you do don’t take him back. If he’s hit you once he will do it again.
Don’t be his punch bag.

[EnglishEuropean]

You shouldn't have punched him but he shouldn't have got up in your face. You could maybe try couples counselling if you even think it's worth it.

[msc545]

When you started PUNCHING him, what did you expect? You are lucky he only slapped you. Don't hit people.

[msc545]

Also, don't take him back. He has very poor self-control and major anger issues.

[CelineBV]

And why was he reaching out to grab her head and backing her against the wall, screaming in her face? He started it.

[msc545]

@CelineBV She didn't say he backed her against the wall, you did. Stop trying to find a way to exonerate her and blame him. If she punched him, SHE started it.

[CelineBV]

**Stood up and came towards me as I was back against a wall ( cause I was standing there already) came to my face screaming f.. k you repeatedly of which I didn’t respond , next thing he reached to grab my head.**
Then how do you explain this?

[CelineBV]

So if a boyfriend is coming towards me in a terrifying manner, backing me, screaming in my face and trying to grab my head (or grabs me, touching me first), I should do NOTHING in response?

[CelineBV]

do nothing to get him away from me?

[msc545]

@CelineBV In that quote from her, do you see anywhere any indication that he pushed her against the wall? She said, "I was back against a wall ( cause I was standing there already)". Is your reading comprehension defective?

[msc545]

Wow. You really have a comprehension problem. He was NOT "backing her" and she never said he was. YOU DID and you keep doing it. What the hell is wrong with you?

[CelineBV]

Well she punched him out of fear of him screaming at her and reaching to grab her head
I'm going to assume you have no idea that any woman (the majorities aren't your 5'9 and above and trained types) would be scared of a big man screaming at her and making hand gestures as if to grab her... and then her being able to escape from the situation, being able to get him to stop

[CelineBV]

In comparison, if I were to scream at you loudly, walk towards you and reach out to you trying to grab your head... I'm sure you would feel just annoyed or irritated but not FEAR like the poster claimed

[msc545]

@CelineBV I might feel fear but I am not stupid enough to punch you particularly if you are twice my size and enraged. My point is that she actually made the situation *worse* by hitting him, not better. That said, it sounds like he was very close to being out of control to begin with. I wonder what he was so enraged about? Did she cheat on him or what? No idea.

[CelineBV]

I think flight or fight can sometimes be a naturally mechanism. It's been tested in rats too. If you corner a rat, it can bite you.. even though we're a lot whole bigger than them. Not sure why he got so enraged. From the looks of it and his past history of shouting and insulting her, he doesn't sound emotionally stable.

[msc545]

@CelineBV what is a "naturally mechanism" ?

[msc545]

@CelineBV From her history f punching him, SHE doesn't sound stable.

[CelineBV]

It means your body sends messages to your brain, in which it makes you react towards any type of intimidating situation. You can either fight, flight or actually freeze. Looks like both her and the boyfriend are the fight types.

[msc545]

@CelineBV ok, that is the grammar school explanation, but it isn't wrong.

[emperor90]

No way leave as it can get worser and worser and one day it could kill u

[Anonymous]

Fuck no. leave his ass and get a butchers knife and chop his dick off or hire a hitman to have him bumped off or call the police file a police report and press charges on him for assault

[likinron]

No Don't
One slap leads to another and then a fist
I lived it when I was little
Leave now

[spartan55]

If you stay with him he will eventually kill you.

[VikingWarLord]

Stop pissing him off, geeze

[jahaims]

Sure if you like being hit