I slapped my boyfriend, what now? I asked him to forgive me as I didn't know why I would react like that. Please help?

[Anonymous]

On Tuesday night (Wednesday was a public holiday) we (my boyfriend, his friend and myself) went out for drinks. My boyfriend said to me that we should get his boyfriend someone to take home. So I thought to myself okay goodluck but I will try. So this girl came to approach my bf's friend and I said to her he is a really nice guy and blah blah blah. So the night went on and we all got drunk and one of my working friends was also in the club and I went to my boyfriend and told him to come and great my friend. So I got upset because he didn't wanted to and the whole night he was busy telling his managers bpyfriend that he will fuck him up and if he messes with his manager. So I was standing there and smoking and my boyfriend came to me and said that this girl was interested in his friend and that its my fault that she dont like him any more because she said to my bfs friend "tell your friends girl to back off" so then I got really really upset. I asked my boyfriend to book me and uber as I wanted to go home. I threw the phone and said there. So he and his friend left. I had no money and didn't know the uber password so I had to walk. When I got to the hostel I said thank you for letting me walk alone as the previous time I got raped and you know that. Then he got upset and threw his phone (an I phone I baught him) I then grabbed him by his shirt and he pushed me to the ground. I then got up and slapped him really hard. The next morning I went to give him his stuff and he said that he is hurt. I told him that he has slapped me before and I forgiven him. He then just walked away. I sent him a Facebook message saying Im really sorry but he doesn't reply. I have talked to my friends and they said hê deserved it as he cheated on me a few times and he slaped me before but that doesn't help. I really feel bad. This morning I considered handing myself in at the police station. I really don't know what to do. Please help!!

[RJGraveyTrain]

I don't believe you can use past excuses for hitting your man: you stayed with him even though he cheated on you, hit you, and did other shitty things to you. You chose to forgive so you can't hold it over his head. YOU CHOSE TO STAY. THAT MEANS YOU FORGAVE HIS SHIT BEHAVIOUR AND IT DOES NOT JUSTIFY YOU FOLLOWING IN HIS SHITTY BEHAVIOUR FOOTSTEPS.

With that out of the way and clear...

You were in the wrong for grabbing him first. He shouldn't have pushed you but he clearly felt threatened so I don't blame him for doing so. Hell if someone grabbed me by my collar I would have done the same. You getting up and further aggressing by hitting him puts you in the wrong. Now, what should you do? Break up. If things have already escalated to violence and you two are so deluded or immature to make excuses as to why it's justified and okay you are just going to go further and further until one of you ends up in jail or in a bad situation.

Learn from this and move on.

[Asker]

If you read correctly I said I feel bad and its my fault. But thank you for your advice.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I realize you did, but you felt the need to say "oh well he hit me in the past before", as if that somehow made it "less bad" and included that your friends said he deserved it. Often when I see this, it's because people are subtly trying to shift the blame away from themselves even if to a minor extent so their transgression don't seem as bad. That's why I make it clear that it isn't justifiable. Regardless of if that was or was not your intention to convey.

[Asker]

Thank you:

[RJGraveyTrain]

Npp np

[Asker]

What does that mean?

[RJGraveyTrain]

No problem

[Anonymous]

Look my friend he deserves more ! Stop being his puppy , you're an independent girl who knows what she wants and whom she's supposed to respect. He don't love u and not even like u. So get over him ! If a man loves a woman I don't think that he would slap her !! He would protect her !!

[BMW12]

if she hit first he has every right to hit back

[kenworth]

why are you staying with a guy who hits you and cheats on you? girl. you need to leave him. and find a new guy who will treat you as a lady should. I would never in my life let a girl walk home alone. No matter what. And then to top it offwith what you wentthrough the last time you walked home. Oh My GOD. If , y dad were still alive. He would be beating the sh*T out of me or even some of his Marine Corp. Buddies. That is never acceptable for a guy to do. Hitting a girl is something men learn when there just boys. 2 uears old. A guy never hits a girl. That dosnt mean he won't ever het mad. ut he can ever hit a girl. If you did whatever. and mad him really mad. then he could have gone outside. and hit the side of the building. or a tree. ut never you.
go and dump him to the curb and het yourself a new Loving Man.

[BMW12]

fucking mangina pussy

[BMW12]

she hit him he has every right to hit her period

[kenworth]

Wow. Are you openly saying your that delicate a man that you can't handle a hit from a girl who probably only weighs half your weight. Unless she is a mama champion. Then he didn't have any right to hit her. If you have other thoughts on this. Then just answer the question wi th your own separate answer. As to me your not impressing me

[BMW12]

if SOMEBODY HIT ANOTHER PERSON THEY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT BACK MALE OR FEMALE