My boyfriend caught me 'Cheating' he was dangerously calm... He told me to delete his number I'm confused?

Question

First of all I say 'cheating' because we never actually did the act but me and this guy were kissing which was all. His response was I had the intention even thou I never had sex. It's been a week now and when he caught us at my mums house he opened the door and closed it as soon as he realised something was going on. Now I'm not saying what I did was OK but I feel like he should forgive me because nothing actually happened except a kiss. The boy left but my boyfriend was talking to my mother about general things at first I thought he was speaking about me. Anyway he said goodbye to her and declined offer to stay for dinner. I tried to explain nothing happened but he was slapping my hands away from grabbing him. He kept saying its about the intention to cheat and not the act that's the issue. He didn't care that I was crying which was the first time that he's been like this. He never even raised his voice throughout he kept demanding that i delete his number. He has covered for me when my Mum asked what was wrong because we were acting suspicious. Anyway he walked out by shoving me away from the door. I'm just really confused he never said that he'd break up with me and he never looked like he was angry at all. I sent him a bunch of texts and called him a lot but there's no response. How can I get him to forgive me? I feel like normally he would forgive me but he seemed like he wants a reason to be angry.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

uhh... him catching you kissing a guy who's not your boyfriend IS being caught cheating. Please tell me you realize that there are may ways to cheat on your partner, not just physically and through sex but also emotionally.

In any case, sounds like he's basically through with you. He seems to get what cheating is all about. It's not devastating to most who find their bf/gf cheated on them to just think that they were physical or in some way involved with another. It's more the betrayal of trust, being treated like old laundry that is like being stabbed in the heart. He never looked angry because he was still in shock, acknowledging the fact that he couldn't continue being with someone who failed something as simple as remaining faithful.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

If you can't do it in front of your lover: it's cheating. Cheating isn't just sexual; it's emotional and physical in multiple forms so yeah, you cheated.

I 100% support what he did. He has every right to be mad and he handled the situation appropriately and well in my opinion. I'm sorry, but you kissed another guy and may have done more under the right circumstances, he doesn't know. That's cheating to me.

You can't make him forgive you if he doesn't want to. You have to back off and let him reach out to you if he wants to fix things.

MaskedSanity · Accepted Answer

"I feel like he should forgive me" Not taking this shit seriously, even if it's legit. There's just too much stupid in one post.

OrdinaryGentleman · Accepted Answer

Wow that guy is pretty awesome. I hope that stoic attitude stays with him. As for your infraction of is it considered cheating? yes.
Is he ever coming back? 99% sure he's gone
Did you fuck up? ... Yes, who hasn't?

Best thing you can do is simply send a goodbye text and let that be that. And focus on yourself for a bit, as in what made you kiss the guy, why did you want him over... etc. Also i would suggest not rebounding which i imagine is very real in your mind. Just don't, you have nothing to gain. Also only time is going to fix this so during that time instead of dicking around with other guys work on who you are as a person so it doesn't happen again.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Kissing is cheating, period.

There was nothing for him to say, at that point. He's done, and I don't blame him. You've lost his trust, and he's right to walk away.

Don't even try to win him back. It's just going to piss him off, and he's not going to forgive you, because he shouldn't.

Bonnie12I27I12 · Answer

people like you seriously piss me off :) you cheated on this guy. you betrayed him, his heart, and his trust. you broke everything. it doesn't matter if you actually wanted to sleep with the other guy or not. kissing is kissing. it's cheating. how would you feel if the roles were reversed? he acted very maturely and was such a gentleman about it. good for him. he didn't raise hell because he knows his worth and realizes that he doesn't need or deserve a cheater. he will not forgive you and it's very stupid of you to actually expect him to. i dont understand why you're so offended lol. you CHEATED yet you expect him to just forgive you and take you back like it's nothing. he seems like a great and very mature guy. he deserves someone just as great who won't cheat on him.

indie_rock_chick · Answer

Sorry to break this to you but kissing someone else but your boyfriend while you're in a monogamous relationship is considered cheating. It doesn't need to be sex, kissing is a form of cheating. He did break up with you. He didn't say the exact words but telling you to delete his number is like telling you to to delete him from your life aka breaking up. You made the mistake, so I'd say let it go. If he ever wants to forgive you, he will approach you. He needs space because he is hurt and feels betrayed. Just take it as a lesson and don't do it again in the future.

Cmasterson · Answer

You don't have to sleep with someone in order to cheat on them, so something DID happen if you're swapping saliva with someone else who wasn't your boyfriend, and you guys aren't in an open relationship. He wants a reason to be angry? He has one, he doesn't have to forgive you, but you bombarding his phone isn't going to help, you have to give him his space and he will come and talk to you when he's ready. Not much people will have sympathy for their crying partner who just cheated on them.. be patient.

meatballs21 · Answer

He is past angry - he is absolutely furious. However, he is managing to keep it under control. Don't push your luck, you've ruined things here. Let him go. If he comes back, he does. He probably won't.

Go fuck that other boy that was worth throwing it all away for.

Sojex · Answer

Well my girlfriend is mad at me cause I smacked her. I didn't full on punch her lights out, I just slapped her that's all. It wasn't right but she shouldn't be mad at me. I think she just wants a reason. To be angry.

That's basically what you're saying. You cheated, period. There's no such thing as kinda cheating, you cheated. He has every right to be mad.

MikeKane · Answer

wow kudos for the man who knows when to walk. it isn't about just a kiss it is about a betrayal, honestly he probably would of acted the same if he walked in on you screwing him. the thought that someone you love and care for has such little respect for you that they would stab you in the back for a kiss is emotionally degrading and so he has shut you out emotionally and is refusing to feel anything for someone who would do such an awful thing that is why he was calm and just walked away.

MargaritaPeach · Answer

He was doing his best to remain calm. I'd say he did an impressive job of keeping his composure. Just delete this number... you blew it. Kissing is cheating. Him asking you to delete his number is his way of calling things off. Whatever you two had, you don't have it anymore. :( Just consider it a lesson learned.

MickyMouse1231 · Answer

He has a reason to be a angry. You cheated. Cheating isn't just sex. It's kissing too. How would you feel in that situation? From the sounds of it he wants nothing to do with you and I can't blame him at all. You fucked up. You decided to do this. You don't get to play the victim now and say it was only a kiss. You hurt him. Own up to that and respect the fact that he wants his privacy.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Good lord. Kissing is cheating in my book. You should take the delete my number as I never want to speak to you again. To be frank, you don't deserve forgiveness. To be forgiven means you show remorse, which you clearly demonstrate that you don't. Down playing it is not remorse.

Anpu23 · Answer

He is gone, he was being stoic, and just trying to get out of the situation and avoid violence. He left you, simple as that. When he asked you to delete his number that was him saying goodbye and that you were through. Stop harassing him and move on.

gblue25 · Answer

You cheated regardless of how you try to put it. If your boyfriend didn't walk in you probably would've slept with the guy. If you go as far to make out with someone then you'll go as far to sleep with them. He's not acting petty. Your in the wrong. You broke the trust in your relationship.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I want to high five this man. He acted mature and responsibly.

You did cheat. The kiss was cheating itself. But even before that, the fact that you talked to that other guy, the situation leading up to it was cheating. The moment you're doing something that you need to hide from your partner because you know it'd hurt them, that's when you know it's cheating.

I'm sorry but I'm so happy that he was strong enough to leave you because he deserves better. Again, I want to high five this man.

ichot · Answer

"I feel like he should forgive me because nothing actually happened except a kiss"

I don't know how your culture regards kissing nor what kind of kiss it was but a breach of trust doesn't deserve forgiveness.

Anonymous · Answer

That's the stupidest question I've ever seen. You were kissing some guy! That's cheating! Congratulations on your new title that you'll carry forever; a cheater...

The guy has actually been calm and didn't show you anger, that's a very strong person right there.. you know how much strength it takes to be that calm when being cheated on? I'm so glad he caught you cheating and isn't replying to you, you're not deserving of him. You deserve a guy who you'll catch kissing some other girl...

HandsomeRaj · Answer

I'm not talking about right and wrong here. All I'm asking is if you had seen your boyfriend make out with a girl what would you have done :)

All that considering that you have never ever kissed another guy when you are in a relationship :)

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, you aren't going to get his trust back. That china cup is broken and even if you did manage to glue it back together it would just fall apart the next time it was stressed.

"From hence, ye beauties, undeceived,
Know, one false step is ne’er retrieved,
And be with caution bold.
Not all that tempts your wandering eyes
And heedless hearts, is lawful prize;
Nor all that glisters, gold."

thatkaruguy · Answer

you cheated kissing is cheating your relationship is done. you broke his trust and even worse think its ok.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay first of all, kissing another guy is cheating, & I don't think he should forgive you because you're the one fooling around with another guy when you're supposed to be faithful in a relationship; think about it this way, if you caught him kissing another girl, how would you feel?

LaurenGrace · Answer

Sorry Chick you cheated on whst sounds like a great guy. What ever your reason for kissing the other guy it doesn't matter you did the wrong thing and youve paid the price. he's really pissed he may or msy not ever want to talk to you again but at least give him his time to figure out what next so dont text or ring him.. but also dont go chasing the other guy either

Ironhorse · Answer

Kissing is cheating don't try and make excuses to ignore the obvious.

dudeman · Answer

Sounds like an emotionally mature young man. Good for him.

CoolSky01 · Answer

i would do the same really , i am genrally calm and cool and laid back and when things like this arise i will calmly stare at you , tell you that you're out of my life , and simply move on , you're gone for him so dont bother , i can't say he did the wrong thing its what every guy would do...

Krillanr · Answer

I like that you defend it as just a kiss. XD

What he did is what we know as "My rage broke, I'm going to leave before I do something to end up in prison."

Pretty much, ya hurt him by being with another guy romantically, and he decided to disconnect himself from you.

TripleAce · Answer

He sounds like a real gentleman. A man that has honour and pride. I think he's the good guy and he's right to leave you even though it was 'just' kissing, right.

The next girl will be lucky to have him

Prettygurl12 · Answer

You have no right to be forgiven. You should be thanking God you're alive to question his lack of action. Expect never to hear from him again. Your dumping is implied by the fact that you're a bitch.

hopefulandwaiting · Answer

What do you mean by 'normally' he would forgive you? Have you done this before? The question you have to ask yourself is, why were you kissing this other guy in the first place? If you can't answer that then you cannot ask him to forgive you.

Anonymous · Answer

He's not mad. He just thinks you're worthless as a girlfriend, so he turned his back, and moved on. He's more likely sad then angry.

lyssabugg35 · Answer

Kissing is cheating.  He's done with you.  He was calm because not only was he just that done, he was around your mom.  He won't forgive you.

Southern_Shorty · Answer

I'm thinking you should look up the definition of cheating. You sound beyond misinformed. Maybe you should remain single for a while.

hifromkai · Answer

Fuck off nothing happened kissing in my books is still cheating and if he hadn't shown up you had the intention so you were probably going to have sex with him.

I wouldn't forgive you for that you're supposed to be in a relationship

erandal · Answer

It sound like he loved you (he covered for you with your mum) but you just broke his heart. I hate to say this but what you did was cheating and he may never forgive you and I wouldn't blame him.

liyahh3 · Answer

i think he expected something like this has been going on and now that he has found a reason he just wants to go through the emotions of being mad.

give him some time and maybe in afew weeks bring him a nice offering?

Baggz · Answer

Put yourself in his situation, how would you react if you found him kissing another girl and not you? Please use common sense.

Anonymous · Answer

Just leave him alone you weren't "cheating" you were CHEATING that's why you had the door closed, if you have to sneak around and do it it is cheating and he doesn't have to give you the satisfaction on seeing him angry he handled it the right way.

Katy16 · Answer

First of all a kiss is cheating; second delete his number is a good indication it is over. He was speaking like that because he was probably extremely pissed off and hurt.

squeelz · Answer

What do you mean nothing happened something did happen you kissed him he doesn't have to do anything respect what that man wants give him his space at this point the ball is in his court.

Kira88 · Answer

As everyone else has said, you're a cheater. You deserve to be alone until you grow up.

Matchmaker7072 · Answer

Don't cheat next time. Reading this you are clearly trying to justify what you did. He made a good call.

Antonio_Carbonny · Answer

For some people trust is so important, he probably has serious feelings for you that's why he covered for you and never raised his voice with you. It will take him time. if he's important to you as you are to him then don't give up jut stick it out. He most likely feels betrayed. Hope i helped

Jersey2 · Answer

He sounds like a good guy in that he covered for you, didn't rage etc but he is so done with you as trust is brokenmand he is smart enough to onow that it cannot be repaired. Live and learn.

LennyR1 · Answer

He is angry and he has every right your relationship is over

IceEverest · Answer

You cheated on him still you are the one complaining about it...

Anonymous · Answer

Don't try and make up excuses for your cheating, fact is, you cheated, now you're paying the price

Anonymous · Answer

You hurt him. And you don't even realize it. Let him go and learn from this mistake. Your actions have consequences.

crazyperson19 · Answer

He's over you. So don't even try getting back with him

QuestionMan · Answer

Well some people are more calm than others. I would probably have the same reaction. You should move on but take it as a lesson to never do it again.

Jack_the_stripper · Answer

He will forgive but won't forget.  Maybe he still love you, but he can never trust you like he did ever again. A relationship is based on trust.

Anonymous · Answer

that means you fucking broke his heart, and yeah i think he shouldn't forgive you, once a cheater always a cheater , whether its a kiss or more, you cheated,. i think you just lost an amazing man, bye

Intraluminal · Answer

he's an unforgiving perspn. Who needs that? Drop him.

Theguywhomadeurday · Answer

I hope he leaves you ASAP and pray for him to be fine and continue to be a nice person he is. Well for you - u never deserved him.

AlphaAussie · Answer

You're going to get dumped. He is just takin time to do it right.

takumii · Answer

What? He shoved you away from the door? What an asshole.. You should break up with him.

sp33d · Answer

No complicated words were necessary. Finito.

Noxifer626 · Answer

Did you kiss the other man on the cheek or in the mouth.

sjoes006 · Answer

He's done with you.

LonelyLarry · Answer

Good that he left you skank.

TheWorldEndsWithYou · Answer

Yeah you cheated; move on and learn from it.

ArtDent · Answer

Yeah? Why was the door closed?

Waffles731 · Answer

You fucked up

jmmmfi2 · Answer

You can't

My boyfriend caught me 'Cheating' he was dangerously calm... He told me to delete his number I'm confused?

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