I cheated on my boyfriend before we were official?

Anonymous
im ready to receive harsh words and judgments from this. I met this guy (now my bf) last year, month of June. we talked everyday, started going out, confessed feelings for each other. during this time, I went on a night out with a few friends and this includes a guy- im not so close to, whom I've hungout with a few times before that night. that night, we were the few ones left. there were alcohol. we were intoxicated (I am not using this as an excuse, I knew what I was doing and I knew all along it was wrong). we didn't have sex, we did kiss and I had hickeys. I did not tell the guy I was seeing (again, my now bf). I only apologized to him for staying out late because he was upset about it.
we had an exclusive relationship a few weeks after that. I never talked to that other guy that night again, he texted me a few times after that.
me and my boyfriend is together for almost half a year now. I've hidden to him what I did.
just yesterday, he told me he had a dream that he caught me cheating on him. the other parts aren't as important.
I can't stop thinking about it. im planning on telling him. my close friend (the only one who knows about it), told me I should tell my boyfriend since I can't stop thinking about it.
I actually dont know why I wrote this all down knowing I know what I should do.
but I am going to lose him. i know he deserves so much more. which is why im telling him this. he deserves to know who he's with. i was so scared of telling him then, thats why I never really did even though I know I should. and now, I will.
knowing who he is, im pretty sure he's not going to forgive me. I dont deserve it anyway. good night.
I cheated on my boyfriend before we were official?
5 Opinion