It's funny how we give ourselves absolutes in our youth. These are the things I swore I wouldn't take in my twenties:
I will never let a man hit me
I will never let a man cheat or lie to me
I will never let anyone take me for granted
I will never be treated like sh*t
Then I got older and became guilty of some of the very things I swore I would not take. I've hit my boyfriend, I've lied, I took people for granted and - yes, I have treated people like sh*t. I never cheated, but there were times when I could see it happening.
What I realized with the passage of time is that people make mistakes. Big ones, small ones, life changing mistakes that, like a ripple of wind in a field of grass, expands and touches everything in it wake. I've screwed up more times in my life than I ever thought I would. With those mistakes came the knowledge that everyone screws up. It's whether or not one takes responsibility for their own mistakes that determines if they are worth hanging on to.
If he doesn't have a history of being abusive - he isn't too controlling, he takes responsibility for his actions, he isn't condescending or patronizing to boost his own self worth - I would have to say that he just lost control and screwed up. Whatever the reason was that made him lose control is something that needs to be discussed, of course. If he has never shown any indication of violence or loss of control before, he could very well be dealing with something that is bigger than you realize. Stress, depression, fear - whatever. It needs to be addressed not ignored, because ignoring problems don't make them go away.
If he is emotionally controlling and you are a victim of mental abuse, then it is time to walk away. It's just escalating - it will only get worse.
There is no one here that is closer than you - you need to determine what you are willing to live with.
Good luck.
he hit you? why did he hit you? I think that's wrong. he should apologize to you face to face, that's how I feel about it. anyways, you , it really I s up to you. but I might myself break it off. I mean, it has to be something huge for a guy to just hit you. does he have anger issues? is there something frustrating in his life that he is taking out on you? that's not fair to you. I would try to give it some time, then talk to him somewhere public, so that if he does hit you again, you have witnesses and just be careful about everything. personally, I would break it off. unless he tries harder to apologize and promises he'll make it up to you or provides an adequate explanation as to why he got mad and hit you..
Why did he hit you? Has he shown anger or aggression issues before? Do you think it could become a problem? I understand that people get upset, and sometimes react physically. But violence is never the answer, and if he has an anger issue, you can almost bet it will come back to it again.
You two need to sit down and have a serious discussion about this, and definitely about what made him think, even when angry, that it was ok to hit you. Because it isn't, and something like this can kill a relationship very quickly, as you are finding out.
Hitting a girl is the worst possible thing you can do and I'm strongly against it. I've never pushed, shoved, or hit a woman, but I have gotten really mad before. And if I still managed to keep my cool, I see no reason why your boyfriend couldn't have done the same thing. He'd better apologize and make it the most sincere apology he's ever made. If he ever does it again, leave him for good.
If I were you I wouldn't necessarily dump him if he only did that once in the years that you've known him and then he felt guilty right away, but you should make a big deal about it so that he doesn't think you will stand for that sh*t.
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I think if a guy or the girl ever got violent enough to want to hit you it's time to end it.
talk it out first but don't let this become a cycle. talk it out.
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