Are men also ruled by their emotions?

Question

So the joke is women think with their hearts and men with their heads but let’s be real
many, many men are also ruled by their emotions. Anger being the main one overall I’d say. I’d guess men are just as emotional as women but simply can’t express it properly due to societal pressures where as we don’t have such pressures and are more free and in control of ours.

thoughts?

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

Absolutely.

It's interesting women are considered hormonal. If anything this would be just because their hormones mostly follow a monthly schedule. But it's a relatively simple one.

There was a formula describing men's hormonal cycles, and it's basically a complete mess. Supposedly men have a smaller corpus callosum that is also more prone to emotional damage, meaning they are more prone to lifelong damage from traumatic experiences. Some of this comes from the fact that a man is, by definition, trans, so has to undergo more changes. But it might also have to do with splitting the brain from some of this chaos.

The thing is, most of men's emotions don't really garner much of a response. The main response we have to our "advantage" is when people fear us. So many of our emotional expressions are redirected into anger.

The same goes with intimacy. We don't grow up with NEARLY the same level of closeness and empathy as girls do. Our feelings and deep thoughts don't matter unless they are functional in some way. So we will come up with the logic necessary to justify how we feel. If we can't do that, we just treat these feelings as illegitimate or some sort of delusion, rather than just letting ourselves feel them.

So with interpersonal intimacy, the only time we really get to feel vulnerable is with a romantic or sexual partner. It's been established that men are hit harder by breakups, because we are more dependent on them for healthy emotional expression. Girls fall back to her friends. Guys close off or turn to drugs to self-medicate.

So another emotion besides anger is also sexuality. In Australia, they have a brothel that encourages and pays for their prostitutes to get degrees in psychology. Why? When interviewed, most of them said they had several experiences in which a man came in thinking he just wanted a quick fix, but when they actually started, he would start to emotionally break down and all of this baggage would come spilling out.

So a lot of guys who seem thirsty af more often have a lot of emotional issues they haven't been able to address because we're supposed to treat it like some delusion or hallucination. We have to keep a facade of being some kind of Vulcan.

I mean, in the past my own criticisms of women being "overly emotional" had less to do with women feeling emotions more strongly, and more to do with me perhaps being jealous that they can express these emotions and for them to just... matter.

Like, call a girl fat and she slaps you. WHo is the asshole? We would say you are, because you made her feel bad.
Call a guy fat and he slaps you. Who is the asshole? We would say he is, because you just told the truth. He has no right to be mad at you for it.

So like, we're generally restricted to anger, sexuality, and pride. If you aren't on your high horse, you don't matter. If you don't matter, you feel backed into a corner. Nobody is there to help you. So you have to help yourself. Through anger. And fear.

So like, I really do appreciate the work some branches of feminism does in this regard. But at the same time, I've never literally been told to "man up" from a man. Maybe once or twice, but it didn't carry much weight. But I HAVE been told my issues are not real, my insecurities are not important, and my fears are unjustified, because I'm "the oppressive gender" and "ultimately did it to myself". Frankly, I've felt as much pressure to disregard my emotions from that as I have from other men.

Nomoturtle · Accepted Answer

Ruled? No. Far too strong of a statement.
I wouldn't even say "also", surely women aren't totally ruled by their emotions either. While virtually nobody lives absent from emotional drives, it's a sick person that's entirely ruled by emotions.

But taking the spirit of the question to be something like "Are men or women more ruled by their emotions?":

Well before I even talk about my own experiences, you can also look at psychological attributes to verify this quantifiably. Women are higher in neuroticism, experience depression more easily and more often, more often deceived and manipulated by cults, more respondent to peer pressure and compliance, etc. I think the answer is extremely clear that women are far more emotional.

As for men that are specifically prone to anger, in general they may be, I'm not sure. I only know two that have been (and holy crap those people can be annoying to be around), so in my experience not really.
Personally I've only been angry a handful of times when I was a child getting bullied. I haven't felt angry for almost a decade.

"I’d guess men are just as emotional as women but simply can’t express it properly due to societal pressures where as we don’t have such pressures and are more free and in control of ours."
I'm a bit tired of this cliche. First part sounds like bullshit to me. Second part isn't just wrong in my estimation, but the opposite of the truth. If I have an argument with my sister for example, it'll virtually always be her raising her voice, getting violent, crying, etc. and even when she manages to successfully suppress these as I would and we actually get to talk properly, she'll sometimes have no idea how to express how she feels sometimes, literally just "I don't know how to explain".
So no, I don't think men are as emotional as women, nor do I think they're freer or more in control when those I've met are so horribly bound by and out of control of their emotions and reactions.

purplepoppy · Accepted Answer

The idea that men are logical is highly illogical and is usually put forward by men of low IQ to justify inappropriate behaviour or discrimination. If you follow a logical path then everyone should end up at the same conclusion. The fact all men come to different ones yet claim they were the logical ones proves the concept of male logic is nonsense.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Yes!! Any attempts to rationalize otherwise are... just delusional. I see it every week, even perhaps every day. Just saw it again this morning (about a girlfriend's boyfriend.) My husband agrees. No human can remove emotion from their decision-making.

DaveJord · Answer

I would not say women are free and in more control of themselves... but agree that men and women both have emotional issues. Maybe from opposite ends of the spectrum... but how we react emotionally may different, but the response more than likely come from the same root cause.

But I reject any premise made by anyone that women or men are more in control of their emotions based upon their gender. Its a sexiest stereotype that I have seen many on the both sides of the debate promote... and it is frankly not true. But people use it to make themselves feel empowered to be more logical or reasonable or have greater range of emotional control over the opposite sex.

I can not tell you how many times my ex would have a emotional response to something that I frankly did not. She would level arguments against me not have emotional range or healthy cooping mechanisms to deal with my emotions. Where in truth, just because I felt something did not mandate a emotional response. So did have a lack of empathy or did have more healthy cooping mechanism in place that allowed me to respond differently, the debate continues... I did divorce her because I could not deal with the constant drama, because in the end she was not the right person for me in general and I need to find someone who provide a higher degree of emotional support vs anxiety.

AncientWisdom · Answer

So there’s your Men and women's emotions are strong. That being said women are ruled by emotions. Men are ruled by logic. This is an evolutionary fact.
The sexual part of our brain is 2.5 times bigger then females. This is very fortuitous for females. Females also evolved the ability to be pretty to men. This is also fortuitous for females. I mean they did evolve beside a hairless , carnivorous ape prone to violence and homicide. If you met a primal ancient human of either sex it would scare the crap out of you. We were terrifying creatures can you imagine when the only law that prevailed was the breeding males will and only his will. Yes I said “ breeding male” because at the dawn of our species most men never got to breed.
A man’s anger is usually sudden and then it’s over. A females anger is deep and stays with them. Women keep score. Attend any divorce court in America to see the score cards. The reason you see anger in men is they have little or no outlet for it that they can see. Smart men find that outlet and become centered. I rarely get mad.

Diodoro · Answer

Individuals are ruled by emotion or not. As a group generally speaking men respond more strongly to logic than women and women respond more strongly to emotion than men.

I'll grant Humans in general are emotional creatures by nature. Every choice is ultimately originating from an emotion that we backwards rationalize with logic. Like you wouldn't do a thing unless you thought it would make you feel good or relieve pain in same way. All actions stem from that

The difference primarily is that men in general respond more strongly to logic in the event logic goes against his personal feelings, but women in general respond more strongly to feelings rather than logic in the same scenario. You'll often have to use an emotional argument to justify the opposite of how she feels in order for her to accept the same thing as a man

Can see it around you if you look just briefly. Like the weird (to men) perception girls have of what is and is not "selfish". For ecample..

Let's say a man gets something to eat on the way home and is finishing it as he walks in the door.

It's not uncommon for a girl to be upset he didn't think to bring her something too. It's also not uncommon for her to then jump to feeling as if he is SELFISH because he didn't think about her, and how she might be hungry too, when all he did was get something to eat because he was hungry.

If a girl were to do the same as the man. He might ask if she brought food for him too. But if she didn't he won't take it personal or feel as if she's selfish for not bringing some for him too. He might feel let down for a second because he got his hopes up and is hungry, but at a base level that's not an emotionally driven process. Logic is accepted and moved on. There's no sense of "wrong"

askandgiveAnswers · Answer

The other point to this is Hormone levels. Saliva Test can show this. We all have the same elements to be human. Just different amounts to equal our sexes. We need to understand as well this plays a role on individuals being emotional and strong. Strong in business to sexual desire to Stong in a relationship, also strong strictly in critical thinking. Not all men or not all women have essentially the best and well balanced in every which way. Our natural immunity we don’t test either. This can help us out in a negative way in life or in more positive ways as many people have not learned of testing we have capabilities of testing. Natural Immunity can be tested by a blood test. Understanding our bodies, mentally, physically, emotionally, as ph level of health is key as well. Just like sexual organs are different sizes, in male or female. Understanding much more of a bio of what makes humans healthy is utmost key. Eating properly is another form to healthy. Knowledge of MACROS is eating properly, food groups and water intake. Healthy water levels and cleanliness. Not too many or non at all of GMO in foods is also helpful in how our bodies break down foods or sweets. Also, allow U to be happy. Ask questions and try not to live for another person or people as peer pressure. Love U. Don’t take life too seriously, playtime is multiple ways. Sports, hobbies, music. Money, jobs, carriers. Love life, families. Political views. Learn how to communicate and slow to anger, or just leave. Lol…… Enjoy the day.

Anonymous · Answer

Men feel the exact same emotions women feel but we process it differently. We feel fear, sadness, jealousy, happiness and of course anger.

To a certain extent the way men behave differently is biológical. Young girls do cry more than boys do. However the societal pressure to not show emotions is in large part Freudian based. Women want to feel safe and protected with their mate. A man who is more emotionally stable than the woman he is becoming romantically involved with is attractive to her (whether she admits it or not). He needs to be “her rock”. This also sadly explains why so many women feel inclined to friéndzone emotional and/or sensitive guys. They see those men as feminine (whether they admit it or not).

I say all this because that while I know for a fact I am definitely less sensitive than an average woman I have had a lifetime struggle with being more sensitive then the average guy. Despite being tall and athletic i have had countless women try to friéndzone me when I was being “myself” when I was younger. This is sometimes I absolutely detest. Very deep insult. Especially when I initially got my foot in the door with a girl I liked.

So over the years I’ve learned to harden up on the surface. I noticed that helped in dating. But I privately confide my issues with a few select people I 100% trust.

Lliam · Answer

Yes. Men just express them differently. They may express petulance or angry outbursts, for example, as opposed to crying. Or they may express them very subtly or not at all. Some guys are open books and express a wide range of emotions, and some are more inscrutable. I'm very much the former. LOL Things like tenderness, sadness, empathy, disgust, and outrage are apparent on my face and in my voice. I don't wear a mask.
So it's impossible to generalize all men and women.

It's true that men and women tend to think differently. I once heard an author talking her teen age kids - a son and a daughter. The way she explained it, her son had five basic emotions: happy, sad, mad, tired and hungry. But girls were a tangle of complex thoughts. They process every interaction and observation. They are like computers with dozens of switches, dials and settings that vary from minute to minute.

ArchivalMars2 · Answer

Ok firstly I'd just like to say that yes men have and act on their emotions, however, it's not even that men don't know how to express them properly it's just that even if they did men don't express them the same way that women do to begin with. Don't get me wrong there are social pressures that men are supposed to be stoic and act as the rock in most situations. But again the fact is that men and women act on their emotions very differently. Our anatomy and brain chemistry is wired very differently, therefore when put in a situation (even if it's the same situation) a man will do one thing while a woman will likely do another.

string43 · Answer

Hmm, I ideally no one would allow their emotions to rule over them completely. A balance must be struck between emotions and rational thought. I have learned to use my emotions as a heuristic to inform my decision making. I would say men in general are more likely to take a step back and analyze why they are feeling a certain way and evaluate if it’s justified and what actions might be taken to resolve it. This approach feels the better way to avoid unnecessary conflict. But in a heated and unavoidable or rapidly escalating situation emotions should reign supreme but only in the case of survival.

IceEmbers · Answer

I believe that we have the same range of emotions. What commonly considered anger is probably the fact that something is of importance. Overtime, I believe there is some form of control over emotion as you age but that's suggestive. Anger, sadness, pain and any other definitive emotion is internalize as much as it would be for a woman. I would think I am rule by my logic, because when something doesn't make sense then I tend to respond accordingly. Yet, does that consider me emotional because a situation logically requires me to act upon my emotions?

TheorionMage · Answer

The 'animal' nature of males is borne of reproductive lust, infatuation, hierarchy and ferocity sublimated into the prevailing cultural paradigm.

There once was a party trope called: "the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"
wherein through by associating sometimes obscure facts, "running the nodes" ANYTHING could be related back to the actor Kevin Bacon.

MORE TELLINGLY... it could be said the fundamental root motivation of ANYTHING humans do is ultimately related to reproduction. The key phrase is: "... in order to..." and that sixth degree is ALWAYS "in order for the opportunity to" copulate Genetic 'seeding' is Nature's fundamental baseline for species survival. The 'price' of the longevity of any animal's multi-generational genetic characteristics. That old argument of 'Nature' vs. 'Nurture'.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes men are ruled by emotions, we are all humans, wired slightly differently to each other and to girls n guys.

You see a weaker person attacked, your emotions kick in, you smell something that reminds you of someone in your past, emotions kick in.

People saying guys are ruled by logic have never had anyone die in front of them, had to pick up body parts etc.

there is a reason why sports like football / soccer are such popular crowd games, the Emotion of them.

I wonder what these logic guys do when they have a bet on a horse and it’s going to win them $5000 … maybe but that other horse is so close.

When they see their daughter or son born, hear their first word.

Meet that girl who things just click with…

Yes guys are emotional, often even more so, passion, anger or very close emotions and both guys can show very quickly, however sorrow, regret are also in there.

De_La_BakedBeans · Answer

I think both genders are equally plagued by their emotions. It just that men have a different way of expressing them, and sometimes can't find a way to do so at all. It can be a drag, especially after a build up of emotions that you don't know how to get rid of. And I liked how you talked about the sociable pressures on men. It's true, there's less pressure on women when it comes to emotions, so it's easier for them to express how they're feeling more openly. According to societal terms, men are supposed to be tough, you know? No crying, no sadness. No emotional output. "Be a man" is something I've heard a lot. We're not allowed to be bothered by things.

ManOnFire · Answer

There are definitely times when men are ruled by their emotions, but in general? I don't think that's the case. Not even with anger. A woman is more likely to do something out of emotional anger than a man is.

People try to use arguments of men committing violence out of anger - which is true - but on an actual average scale, women react out of anger in many more every day situations than men, even when those situations are small. Men more often need something in particular to really set them off, or it has to go on for some time before they've really lost their patience.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I would tweek what you just said a bit. I'm 95% in agreement with you. But I think a better way to put it is both genders when given the right type of stimulus can be ruled by their emotions. The difference between the 2 genders. Is it's much, much more acceptable to display those emotions.
I know it seems I'm saying the exact same thing but I guess what I'm trying g to say is since both genders feel emotions yet both genders are not allowed by society to express their emotions equally. It's hard to say definitively that we're equal. I mean I do truly believe guys are more logical as a whole and women are more emotional. But the question is are we naturally that way when we're born? Or does a lifetime of conditioning make it so?

Djmbbasgerd · Answer

why are u girls so ashamed and embarressed that you are more emotional, so much so that you try to sway it onto men and try to say men are just as emotional so u feel better about the fact ur more emotional?

its a common fact that men are less emotional and i thought that was obvious,
i can't speak for all men, but I've never really felt and emotion, i dont care about anything, I've never been sad, never felt a need to cry, never felt a need to anything, i feel blank 247, i just have thoughts, not feelings... so i think its pretty common for men to be more thinkers than feelers... sure some men may cry more cos theyre wussies, but lets be honest, men feel less... why deny it? why are u ashamed ur gender is more emotional? it is what it is, its ur nature, same way its our nature to be horny as fuck 247

bolverk · Answer

Depends on the person and situation, normal day to day life you will see surface emotions, but as soon as there an emergency/situation to deal with just watch the guys shut down their emotions to deal with what's going on, what most people perceive as 'anger' is actually adrenalin getting them ready to deal with what needs to be done, every First Aider/Responder knows the feeling of taking their emotions putting them into a metaphorical box in the back of their mind and leaving them there until they have the time to deal with them later,
So in short, Yes guys have emotions, we just deal and process them differently to women they do not run our lives, and we tend to process the logic around any given situation before any emotional content.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Anger is useful when properly channeled. Yes, many men today are too easily influenced by their emotions, but it has nothing to do with expressing it. It has everything to do with a total lack of willpower and self control. Men must CONTROL their emotions, not express them. Acting out in anger IS expressing your emotions. But low and behold, that ain't a good thing. Your willpower must be stronger than your anger. If it isn't, then you need to work on your willpower. If you can't control yourself and your emotions then you are useless to society.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Much more so today than in the past. When evil wants to dominate and destroy a culture, infantilization is just one of the many tools. That particular one is usually used to corrupt women first, for obvious reasons. But when there's enough roadway, men too eventually fall. Until we all become weak, irrational, blubbering messes.

NaultD · Answer

100%

I always argue with "rational" guys about how irrational women are. If they are so god damn rational they would know people are irrational and predict what's what. Ultimately they don't and are just like everyone else feeling their way in the dark like everyone else.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I think it's tough for anyone not to be ruled by some type of emotion. It seems like negtative emotions though are the ones that can make our lives very difficult if they get out of control. I think the trick is to try to focus on things in life that give us strength and inspiration. Finding those things though takes work so it's easier to dwell on feeling sad or angry about life and reacting to those things.

Are men also ruled by their emotions?

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