If you’re a man WITH kids please don’t comment on this (this should go without saying because of the title but there’s always that random who will add their two cents to a topic that isn’t applicable to them. This goes for women too).
Anyways, as a woman I’m curious to know what May lead a man to live a childfree life. Yes, women may be viewed as lepers sometimes for not wanting a kid or having maternal instincts but I’ve seen the same trend with men, especially if the man is well off financially and is capable of bearing an heir to continue his legacy. This question, however is aimed at ALL men.
What motivates your choice? Are you open to ever changing your mind? And has this affected your personal/dating life if you are interested in a future long term relationship?
Childfree men: What inspires your choice?
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"Anyways, as a woman I’m curious to know what May lead a man to live a childfree life."
Are you asking why men don't want kids? I don't want kids because:
1) I don't have a woman to be with. 2) No woman alive seems to want me or would be interested in building a romantic relationship with me. 3) I have absolute sh*t genetics and me reproducing would be a sheer crime against nature. 4) This world is terrible and I don't want to bring a child into the current state of planet Earth right now, with woke culture, Chinese propaganda, and endless political stupidity everywhere. 5) Even IF I had a woman, who's to say she would stay with me until the child is fully grown? 6) I'm not rich enough or financially comfortable enough to have kids right now.
So for all those reasons and more, I don't want to have kids. But the main one being I don't have the genes or health DNA to be reproducing and I am morally against it. I don't think unhealthy, unfit people should have children at all, but personally, I don't want to. It is very morally reprehensible for that child, in my opinion. Especially since I am a product of two people who should have never bred.
In general I came from a broken home and lets just say when my mom had a man around he was far from a good man. The best way to ensure that I don't become anything like the men I ended up growing up around is to not have kids. Also my life has shifted directions over the past couple of years and forced me to take on some projects and put some serious work into getting back to what was my normal at one point. I'm not sure when I'll be back to my normal. So dating is on the back burner and kids are not even a consideration.
I just imagine having a child and I don't feel a single positive thing about it. It's just not a life I want to live.
Firstly, women who actively desire children make me feel like romance and partnerships are only a means to end to them. I'd actively despise not being my partner's priority.
I want to travel, go places, go on dates in Venice and Santorini and be my partner's sole muse in life. I want the Bonnie and Clyde life, not the "get married just to grow old and to hate each other over the 20 years of having to live under the same roof for the sake of the children".
I just don't want there to be anything "for the sake of the children", it should all be about me and my partner's sake.
It hasn't really affected my romantic life. Women who don't want children aren't that rare in demographics that appeal to me (career driven, academic, non-traditional).
I resonate with the “growing old together” part. Many indeed do stay in marriages because the divorce would either be expensive on the man’s side and the woman may stay to prevent destabilizing the family dynamic. I don’t think many consider these things. May I ask what part of the world you are in (continent)? You have brought up some really important points.
Aha, noticed that, as the ideals of family differ greatly within Europe versus the global south where collectivism is more the order of the day than it is in an individualistic part of the world. Thank you for sharing
Because I don’t want a child to grow up having Tourette’s syndrome like I do. I got it from my dad who didn’t even have it as bad as I did growing up.
Because I don’t want to help create something so beautiful and incredible just to have the woman be the only one to have full decision over the child’s birth/non-birth. Also if she decided to have my child she could just leave me and take that beautiful child away from me and I wouldn’t be able to do shit about it. Why tf would I put myself through that? I currently have no rights in regard to baby making. At least not yet. So until I do, I’m staying child free.
I used to want kids, and during my marriage we tried and failed, she since found out she couldn't have kids as she was trying with her new partber too. Now I'm just too old to want kids, and ny life without kids is good and I really don't want to change that. It maybe a decision I regret when I'm older but thats a problem I'll have to deal with then. The girl I'm kind of with at the moment has a daughter so if things work out in the long run, problem solved I guess.
Thank you. When I say too old don't necessarily mean in terms of physically capable, I just think I've reached an age where I don't think I'm in the right position to be bringing a child up. There is a nassive age gap between me and my parents, they were in their 40s when they had me, and asides from their other shortcomings I don't think the age gap helped with the fact that we hate eachother.
Wtf…Lol that’s me. My mum was 40 and dad was 43 when they had me. Definitely more sound of mind at that age and they tend to be a lot more careful (well at least mine). You’re self aware so that’s already a good thing. You’ll be set regardless of the choice you will make.
As for me I live an adventurous out of the box life & as of the moment I can honestly say I don’t have any kids that I know of & if I did have kids I think it would prevent me from having fun living my life & living it the way I want to live it. On the flip side if love kicks me in the ass tomorrow things could change but in the meantime I rather buy a goldfish instead.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Not sure you want to hear this but... you asked. I consider having a child to be one of the biggest responsibilities in life. Another human life comes into this world as a blank slate and you can write anything on that young little mind. You could raise the person who's going to find the cure for cancer or you could raise the next serial killer. Here's the part you're not going to like. Both parents are essential to raising that child. And from what I've seen I wouldn't trust most women today to be the mother of my child.
I've always had the feeling that I never want kids and I still feel the same at 29. But I think "What motivates your choice?" is kind of wrong question. It's like a question someone asked me; "What's the reason you don't have any tattoos"... You don't need a reason to NOT do or have something, you need a reason/desire to have it. In other words and I don't want kids "or tattoos" simply because I don't have the reason/desire to get them and I know I never will.
Or imagine if someone asked you "What inspires your chose NOT to collect stamps? When you wake up in the morning, what is the inspiration that drives you to NOT go and collect new stamps". It's a bizarre question.
When you're hot, rich and can get many women, it's hard to settle down. Plus we have a lot of damn time, even a dude in his 60s can have a kid with a female in her 20s or early 30s. I take care of myself so everyone thinks I'm younger than I really am. I'll still have time to get a kid later when I'm a multi-millionaire and potentially billionaire (with some of my investments I'm already closing in on the millions).
I’m referring to men who never plan on having them. The men at the top have mentioned publicly that it’s generally not appealing to them as a lifestyle
I'm NOT going to have a child whose mother embarrasses me, humiliates me, or mistreats me. I'm NOT going to have a child whose mother is a feminist. I'm NOT going to have a child with a woman who feels it's her right to kill him before he's born, so she can live as she wishes. And I'm NOT going to have a child with a woman who thinks it's right to deny me access to my child even though I am the child's father.
I grew up penniless and in an abusive family. Literally everything costs money and I didn't have any. I wanted many things including food, clothes and medical services and medicine. And so I became "greedy", thus I won't continue this vicious cycle of poverty. I don't want kids. I won't have kids. I rather become rich. Rich enough to be able to buy something like a Ferrari without even needing a loan.
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Opinion Owner
+1 y
Regarding relationships. I still want to find love. The only requirement is that she too is sure she does not want to have any kids.
Not that I dislike children (although I have encountered some horrors) I just didn't want the expense or responsibility of nurturing children for 20 years of my life. I told my wife before we married that I didn't want them and if she thought that would be an issue then to walk away. Some people say it's a selfish attitude but it's not, it doesn't affect anyone in any way.
the gynocentric laws in the US and the westernized culture that women have adopted prevent it in these times. I wouldn't trust almost any woman raised in the western environment to be a mother to my child and stick it out through thick and thin when the government has made them so entitled and thin skinned.
i think people are sold such a romanticized view of what being married/having kids is actually like. Most men i’ve talked to wish they didn’t have kids so i feel like i actually took good advice. I have a niece that i’m godfather too and other friends that have kids so i get my fill on kids. Let me be the fun uncle with no kids and money that still gets to sleep in. 😁😂
Because we don’t want to be tied down. That’s about it. Looking at other men who are paying child support or got royally screwed over in their relationships is a big motivator.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I think, given the state of the world, the maths involved, the trajectories we are on and the self destructive short sightedness of human beings, it would be a tragedy to bring a child into this inevitable car crash and dumpster fire.
More responsibilities mean less free time to do what I want to do. And a child is a permanent thing. It's not something you can just quit from when you get tired of it.
Terrible for being moms? Yes. Most women hate kids. A full half of them believe in killing children. Many want only like one kid. Most want to just put the kid in daycare so they dont even have to care for it all day i guess they have more important things to do? None of that is my idea of a woman id ever have a child with. Its disgusting to me.
1. Where are you located in the world 2. You want a stay at home wife? If so, would you be comfortable with her not generating an income and splitting things in half 3. Are you comfortable with her changing drastically physically after the kids arrive?
1. Usa 2. Yes id want a stay at home wife. And ofc im willing to pay all the expenses. 3. If you mean get fat. No. Only people who over eat get fat. But normal pregnancy changes sure.
1. Makes sense. Living here I’ve seen quite a lot of chatter and in some cases encouragement for abortion to take place. Then again the social climate here is drastically different from where I’m from (South Africa) 2. That’s also quite a rarity lately (but then again that might also be my surroundings). 3. Well excess weight gain (depending on the woman’s hormones) can actually make her quite large but with disciplined effort getting to a low weight is achievable but all other markers of pregnancy will most likely stay, regardless of how young she is.
If you have a girlfriend then why worry about terrible women then? Have a kid with the one you have. That’s if she wants them with you that is. If you’re in a healthy relationship then this entire question doesn’t apply to you, as you plan to have kids. Childfree people are those who plan NOT to have kids.
“I have a girlfriend now who is good. Its just so hard to find them”
The first line says otherwise. Sorry I’m just really confused as to where you actually stand. You’re not childfree by the ways as you want them in future. Nothing wrong with that. Just a misunderstanding on your end.
Childless. Childfree means something completely different. Childless people are people who want kids but cannot have for some reason. Childfree people are people who have made the conscious choice regardless of circumstances to not have children in future. And do NOT want them.
They generally do when discussing the different individuals in the equation. I asked men who do NOT want kids, this is clearly stated. But there’s a misunderstanding on your end, that’s why you answered. Read the rest of the comments on the question. The men who have commented don’t want them. All the best on your journey. The difference in meaning can be found online. The motivation between childless and child free are different so are therefore two different concepts.
In terms of English language to English language speakers they mean the same thing. And so what i dont exactly fit your ideal perfect commenter? Your problem. Ill answer any question i feel like.
I just realized, this is why people ask if others if they find intelligence attractive. I personally find it unattractive because high intelligence typically means they’re an absolute asshole. @Serenatwozero, you’re intelligent, hence... 😂
It’s not a problem. Have a good day Sir, I understand your point but clearly you don’t understand mine as you’re the only person being hot and heavy here over finding no woman to procreate with.
Please read the question as I stated to men why they chose a life without kids and why they will choose that as a future, then there’s you talking about terrible women and actually wanting kids. The rest of the men in the comments got the memo clearly.
@Heartache0405 I literally just asked a clear question but there will always be dedicated to argue with someone they don’t know. I’m in a happy relationship about to be married so this doesn’t affect me personally but I’m curious about others. It is what it is.
Thanks, I’m “dumb” and im very happy, something you’re clearly not since all you know is terrible women. Well you attract what you are. Have a lovely day Mr Intelligent childless man
Never had kids because of a few reasons. I would worry too much about them. I have hereditary heart problems. I never met a woman that cares as much about me as I do about her.
I'm an ugly monster, females always let me know and everyone has told me this since I was a child. I want kids but sadly I'll never have kids and I understand that.
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