I'm an introvert... I want to start a conversation with a guy I know... but how?

Question

pjnickles · Accepted Answer

Locate something of his... office, car, locker, etc. Leave him a note saying you've been admiring him from afar, and that you'd like to chat, but that you're shy and introverted, and frankly a little scared. Ask if he'd mind meeting here or there, on a certain date, at a certain time, that you'll be there waiting and that you hope he'll show. Explain that you'd prefer him to take the lead in conversation, at the start, but that you're willing to follow, within limits, to get things going because you warm after the ice is broken.

Nothing wrong with a note. Unorthodox, granted, but you have to start somewhere. You wouldn't be the first and you won't be the last. Love notes get passed all of the time.

You may be shy, but be confident. It's not ALL social situations, it's just THIS situation. The bright side is, that if this fails, even miserably, you've taken the chance. So you fell. I'll bet you get back up.

In the end, whatever works for you. Everyone's been embarrassed, been called out, been turned down. It's normal. Successful people get back up and try again. Successful people play the odds. If you don't ask, it'll always be a no. Keep asking, eventually you'll get a yes from someone. The law of average says you will, eventually. Take it and run with it.

This is YOUR happiness. No one can do it for you. Be proactive.

Aakash_Hangargi · Accepted Answer

First you have to make him notice you , so one simple method is dash him accidently on purpose but gently make sonething fall and pick it up say sorry.

Then start to introduce yourself hey i am so sorry i am so and so so what's your name what class build up the conversation then smile and say bye

So next time you see him you can smile and start a convo and ask him would you like to for a cup of coffee or whatever you guys like also you could do is carry a lot of books and ask him for his help to carry someof them but not all of them and say i will treat you if you would help me.

And you can start the friendship next is how you build your convos

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Fellow introvert here. Let me see if I can offer some actual advice. Apparently people don't realize that for most introverts, just striking up a chat with someone, especially if you like him, isn't the easiest task.

Do y'all share any similarities? Like hobbies, interests? If so, start by discussing that.

Actually let's back up because that STILL requires you being comfortable enough to talk to him. Do you two have any mutual friends coworkers, or acquaintances. You might need that third person, ideally am extrovert, to get a conversation going to where you feel comfortable enough to chime in, or interact one on one with him.

Or if you have his number or social media info, message him and see where it goes!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're not an introvert first of all, nobody is. It's perfectly normal that you don't know what you're doing. What you do is go up to him and say hi. Stop trying to be perfect, you're not going to be unless you do this all the time. If he doesn't like you then you just aren't the person who he would like. That doesn't mean you will never be. Hell I have 9 years to live, you think I can afford to be afraid. Just do it before you realize im right 10 years from now.

snowboarder720 · Answer

Are you asking for what you should say to him? Or are you asking for what you should say to him that would make you most comfortable? Those are probably two completely different things. Being an introvert you know what things makes you uncomfortable and what makes you comfortable to do.
Men are aware that women can be introverts and showing even the slightest bit of attention can go a long way. It’s best to understand a little about his interests first before hand. If he’s into sports tell him that you watched a little of the Super Bowl or saw the Winter Olympics on TV, etc.
That way he’ll feel a little more obligated to engage in a conversation that he feel interested in and curious about you.

GlassTop · Answer

If a guy has interest in you, he will start the conversation himself. If you have interest in him, you will have to start the conversation with him, but it will be obvious you have a crush on him. It depends if you are willing to take that risk. Once he knows that you are interested, you have to be very careful of your next moves because that will decide whether you will just be a fuck buddy or a potential marriage partner. A lot of women completely fail in this department and they never get married.

cookiecrusher · Answer

You have come to the right place.

Ask him stuff.
Don't know where or how you know him, so i can't be very precise.

Ask him directions, does he have a spare mask, does he have a tissue etc.
If you ask for things, make sure he looks like he might actually have some, for longer interactions.

Start with a hi and try to be friendly. Wheb he helps you or at least tries, respond with "thanks, i'm jessi by the way." He will respond with his.

And go from there or just end with "it was a pleasure" or you "seem nice". And walk away etc.

Next time walk up to the guy and say "oh hi jim, what are you doing here?" and go on from there.

Yayuyo · Answer

Just be around him a lot. A bit of eye contact. He'll notice and if he likes you he'll start the conversation. Except maybe if he's shy and introverted himself, then start with 'Hey' and see if you can get into a situation where you're greeting each other regularly, even if it's just a single word or nod. Then you can escalate with something like, 'What have you been up to?' Keep in mind that if he's somewhat cool to you then he may just not be interested.

genericname85 · Answer

the best way is to keep yourself from even thinking. the techneque i like is: surprise yourself. just go over ona whim without any plan and say "hi". whatever happens next will happen. yeah it may end up an awkward failure. but that may also happen if you obsessively plan it out for weeks xD

thatpiyush · Answer

As an introvert, I can understand how scary it can be. All you got to do is ask him for some help with anything and try to strike a conversation, even if you don't know how to start a conversation just relax and ask him for some help that'll do just perfect. We guys notice girls who are a bit shy but still tries to get involved with us so in the best-case scenario hell get a clue and take a step for you or you will feel a bit confident and proud of yourself that at least you asked him for a favour then it'll be a bit easier for you to just start a casual conversation with him.

GreenEyesBrownHair · Answer

If you like his clothes or sneakers compliment him on that. But only if you really like it. Otherwise, compliment something he achieved.

ohshee · Answer

Look deep in to his eyes and say hello just remember as your mouth is saying one thing your eyes will be saying something different I am a big time interval and if it wasn't for work I don't know what I would do because I have to turn into an extrovert because I have to communicate with people business-wise it drives me crazy sometimes but just relax take a deep breath and just be a friend

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

Make up an excuse to talk to him. Where do you usually see him (school, work, gym?). Find a way to make conversation, like “hey did you understand this a question on the assignment?”  Etc.

Ninania · Answer

You start by realising you can literally do anything, it's just your thoughts holding you back. Stop listening to your doubt and insecurity and start doing what you want, maybe start small to ease into actual free will.

allielynn · Answer

i think that you should just go for it and not worry about the outcome. find something to ask him about and hopefully it'll start up a coversation. Good luck!!

Massageman · Answer

Try to find out something in which HE is interested (and that you can at least tolerate), and ask him a few questions about (for example) the most exotic dish he ever cooked (if he cooks), the favorite song he ever played on his guitar (if he is a guitarist), his best round of golf he ever shot (if he's a golfer), etc.

Jay3344 · Answer

What are some simple questions you could ask to get into a conversation? What’s the situation, like are you work buddy’s or at school…. if I know a topic that would go over easily with another person I’d open with that and just let the conversation flow by being interested in what they have to say.

Anonymous · Answer

Say "I'm an introvert and want to start a conversation with you, can you tell me how I can do that?" but he won't be happy when he finds out you rather ask creepy internet virgins on here first before him

TheorionMage · Answer

Start with a subject of interest you (pl) share in common... even if its 'lame', to draw him into conversation. By deflecting his attention to an impassioned subject neither of you is 'cornered'.

Better_off_here · Answer

you have to try to be funny, and maybe find a way to make him come to you, you could have someone you know introduce you to him as well? just like any woman likes a guy who is funny and charming and jokes around you can do it too.
make yourself stand out to get him to notice you.

boggboss · Answer

U just do it yes its nit that easy but thats all there is to it ask him a question ask him how he is doing anything

MickHardin · Answer

"Excuse me, can you help me? I have a heavy box I need to pick up", or "is there a post office near by", whatever. Guys love to help!

DaveJord · Answer

Well Hi is a good start, how's your day going? And he should be give you some thing from there to keep it going. Or he is a lame ass.

collie22 · Answer

start by giving your interest a nice smile, if that go's okay then say hi. that may be enough to spark your conversation and start things rolling. member i'm a blabber mouth and i normally fill any gaps with lots of talking...

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Being an introvert isn’t an excuse for not being brave and starting a conversation. It may be out of your comfort zone. But the best way to do it is to just do it. Make the effort. It will get easier if you do

nawtee_me · Answer

well you just started a conversation here just now...

AviatorTom · Answer

You walk up to the guy and say "Hi, I'm."

sensible27 · Answer

Just talk about or ask something you're curious about or find interesting : )

Citizenkirk · Answer

Walk up too him and introduce yourself. Smile a lot and strike up a conversation.

Chattyguy44 · Answer

How about something as simple as Hi, how's it going? How's your day been? What hav you been upto, etc.

yucel_eden · Answer

Make a situation where he brings up a convo.  Like bump into him and apologise

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

Walk up and pee on him. Tell him you were claiming him as yours.  No wait. Don't do that.

Shadow_Monarch · Answer

Find out what he likes and if there's something both of you like, start with that.

In_Trance · Answer

How would you want someone to start a conversation with you?  Do that

JohnQue74 · Answer

You're a girl! You got it easy. Just say hi. Bat your pretty eyes. Mention something in common. He'll take it from there.

driven159 · Answer

start with a hello how are you how was your weekend just start somewhere

noohair · Answer

Ask a question. Do you like coffer or tea? Then go get coffee or tea.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Hello is boring.  Ask a question.

PrettyPriya · Answer

Are you in school or work together?

Abdulwahh · Answer

Say hi and start it about something you both like or something he likes

Anonymous · Answer

Just ask his opinion on something. Anything. But remember, as soon as you say anything to him, he will interpret it as you asking him for the dick.

slatyb · Answer

You know him? Hi , how was your weekend?

Juliette1994 · Answer

Start asking about what their wearing.

rabbitzzz · Answer

Compliment him. Tell him what you like about him.

Subarugirl · Answer

You : Hey, how's it going? problem solved

ulvusdk · Answer

Best would be say Hi!

Anonymous · Answer

“Hello” is usually a good start.

Dovydas0927 · Answer

Use some sort of ice-breaker :))

Anonymous · Answer

All most guys need is a wave and a smile.

Anonymous · Answer

hi how are you doing?

Infinitely_Myself · Answer

Smile! say hi!

SecretGardenBlood65 · Answer

Say to hi

Twalli · Answer

Hi, I'm ______

OddBeMe · Answer

Hello works well.

jimmy2 · Answer

Just talk to him

I'm an introvert... I want to start a conversation with a guy I know... but how?

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