We dated 3 years ago and are good friends now but it never seems that way?

Anonymous
I dated this guy 3 years ago, we tried to become friends afterwards but it always resulted in him in tears or pushing me away from him so we took a break for a bout a year and we were okay, I always felt like I missed him but always hid it from him, fast forward we were at a friends party and got drunk, I ended up kissing one of my friends and he got jealous, he started drinking more as he saw this happening and he eventually kissed me and it led to sex, we didn’t see each other for a year after that, when we met up as friends things were ok, a little bit awkward I didn’t talk much as I didn’t know what to say and he asked me why I didn’t speak to him and I said that I felt a little bit awkward, and just the other day we went to the movies with one of our friends, during the movie he started to hold my hand and squeeze it for about 10 minutes throughout the movie, we eventually started kissing and cuddling, but he seemed off soon as I left my seat and came back, he didn’t speak after the movie. I know I can’t speak to him because whenever I do it backfires in a argument, would just like to know others opinion in this.
We dated 3 years ago and are good friends now but it never seems that way?
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