Why would he suddenly be so nitpicky?

[Anonymous]

We've been living together for 2 years now and suddenly he has been complaining about my cooking skills, my cleaning skills, etc. Whenever I cook, everything is either too dry, not enough spice, too much spice, I cut the onions too big, I cut the carrots too small, etc. It's like nothing that I ever do is good enough. When I clean, I missed a spot, it looks like I didn't clean this or that. It's like no matter what I do he can never say thank you or just leave me alone. I've told him to cook for himself or clean it himself then but I always get stuck doing everything. I cook, clean, work, and take care of the kids myself but I feel like nothing's ever good enough.

Updates

+1 y

It turned out that he was cheating. I left him.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

There are a few possibilities.

He might actually be upset about something else. Guys can get that way when something is bothering them and they don't know how to address it. Could be something at work, something with another family member, finances, personal goals, something in your relationship... the only way to find out is to ask him how he's doing and try to get a real answer about what might be bothering him. But that can be tough. If it was something he wanted to talk about he probably would have told you already. But, if that is the case, helping him through it could really make a difference for both of your happiness.

If that isn't the case, it's probably not what you want to hear. Either he isn't happy in the relationship, he has become complacent and is used to taking advantage of your kindness, or he was a dick all along and just finally feels comfortable enough to stop hiding it.

The first one is solvable. Try to see if there is a thorn in his side that's making him cranky. Try to do something to spark the love and affection and lighten the mood. Enjoy each other's company. Do something exciting.

But if that doesn't solve the problem, it's probably not going to change. Ask yourself if that's really how you want to live, and start working on your own plan.

It could be something simple and short term. Guys are bad at expressing when they are hurt or need help. But if you can't find a reason and it doesn't go away after a while, you have to stay logical and find a way to make yourself happy.

Maybe you put up with some of it and push back on the rest. Maybe you tell him to do it himself if he wants it a certain way. Maybe you find someone who appreciates what you have to offer instead of complaining about it.

It could even be something you are doing or not doing that has changed. Check in with yourself too. Sometimes stress can catch up with the best of us and we find ourselves slipping.

But in this case, it sounds like either something is bothering him that he isn't talking about or he has just settled into being a bitchy husband.

Hopefully it's the first one and you can get it worked out for both of your sake.

[JoyGirl]

Looks like you need to clearly explain to him that you do not like his behaviour. 😁

[VikingWarLord]

He's most likely cheating, hoping you'll bounce

[VikingWarLord]

@MsShy87 Seeing your profile pic now, I can tell you're somewhat insecure and you tend to go for the guys who you think will most likely cheat. The betas won't do it for you either. Send me a DM and I'll tell ya how I knew