Can’t find love?

Hey people,

I’m a bit desperate. I have been dating since the age of 15. Had 2 serious relationships. The first, I decided to end, because after 4 years, we were like best friends rather than partners.
The second was love at first sight. He was a pilot I was passenger. Stayed together for a year, but I ended it because he was agressive physically and verbally. Showed 100 red flags daily, and treated me like a slut. I left whilst still being madly in love. This shit hurt like hell.. Only today am I starting to feel like I « moved on ». During The post break up phase I literally wanted to commit suicide because it hurt so bad…
Problem is.. that here I am struggling so badly to find 1) a guy that wants to settle 2) someone I truly feel drawn towards.

I see hot guys daily, but I just attract the ugly guys. Friends and random people in the street tell me I’m a beautiful girl but for some reason the cute guys just stare and never come to me.

I’m slowly starting to hate love. I see the couples walking in the streets, kissing, etc. And am wondering why the hell I can’t get that back? I’ve been there, done that, and I miss it sooo much.
Let me add, that I haven’t had sex in over a year. I hate sex with no love. I would rather practice abstinence rather than do it BUT sometimes I miss the intimacy too. My roommate keeps on bringing guys home and sleeping with them, which makes me feel like i’m a weirdo for not doing so… Kinda sucks…

I really want to start having sex again, but only with a guy that will be here for a long time, not just for a good time.. And smh I can’t find that where I live.
Can’t find love?
3 Opinion