Can’t find love?

[Anonymous]

Hey people,

I’m a bit desperate. I have been dating since the age of 15. Had 2 serious relationships. The first, I decided to end, because after 4 years, we were like best friends rather than partners.
The second was love at first sight. He was a pilot I was passenger. Stayed together for a year, but I ended it because he was agressive physically and verbally. Showed 100 red flags daily, and treated me like a slut. I left whilst still being madly in love. This shit hurt like hell.. Only today am I starting to feel like I « moved on ». During The post break up phase I literally wanted to commit suicide because it hurt so bad…
Problem is.. that here I am struggling so badly to find 1) a guy that wants to settle 2) someone I truly feel drawn towards.

I see hot guys daily, but I just attract the ugly guys. Friends and random people in the street tell me I’m a beautiful girl but for some reason the cute guys just stare and never come to me.

I’m slowly starting to hate love. I see the couples walking in the streets, kissing, etc. And am wondering why the hell I can’t get that back? I’ve been there, done that, and I miss it sooo much.
Let me add, that I haven’t had sex in over a year. I hate sex with no love. I would rather practice abstinence rather than do it BUT sometimes I miss the intimacy too. My roommate keeps on bringing guys home and sleeping with them, which makes me feel like i’m a weirdo for not doing so… Kinda sucks…

I really want to start having sex again, but only with a guy that will be here for a long time, not just for a good time.. And smh I can’t find that where I live.
help.

[Chill_Thoughts]

I feel like it's probably a mix of things working against you...
I feel like if you want to find love you need to actually make sure your standards aren't too high, cause even if you can score too high someone like that which is hard, it's even harder for them also to truly care and not be like mr pilot all over again.
Secondly don't be afraid of taking initiative, maybe you do, but I got the feeling that you're waiting for the attractive men to make a move. Don't wait, make a move yourself, ask them out. Getting rejected stings a little bit but it really doesn't matter. If you're asking out people you're slighty interested on, you either get it and start to get to know them, or you don't and you cut your interest right there and then and move on.
I hope you do find someone, having a partner can be wonderful and I'm sure you'll get one!

[Chill_Thoughts]

"... If you can score someone too high like that..." sorry for the typo

[TheMajesticKing777]

You aren't stone, the struggle is real but I guess patience is the most important thing required to find true love, but if you are looking for hot guys to settle with then that might take a little longer cause most hot people don't want to settle, which will just mean it will take longer to find someone very attractive that wants to settle as well, that's my hypothesis tho

[LazerBean]

Sounds like you have a bad mix of poor taste and being bad at dating. Stop letting your feelings control your actions and logically finding out if a guy is compatible with you before getting emotionally involved.