You're probably approaching the wrong guys. Either that, or you're approaching the wrong way.
For me personally, my first reaction is usually shock/disbelief because it happens so rarely. That's followed by feeling flattered. Even if I'm not really interested in the girl, I'm still going to appreciate it because it happens so rarely, it kind of makes my day. But sometimes, I'm so caught off-guard, I don't know how to act and so it might seem like I'm rejecting her even though I'm really just dumbfounded.
Since, this happens so rarely, I can list to you what happened in each situation:
1. The first time was in a high school. I was a loner kid who didn't really feel like I belonged in any of the cliques. So I'd usually eat my lunch alone. One day, this girl befriends me and so we'd start hanging out at lunch. Over time, she'd start dropping major hints that she had more than platonic feelings for me. I was flattered, but didn't think she was my type and I was also obsessed with this other girl. I was hoping that by ignoring her hints, she'd realize I wasn't interested and give up. But the hints got more and more obvious, until she outright admitted she had a crush on me. I don't remember exactly how I responded, but I think I was like "Let's just be friends" and then immediately changed the subject. Then I graduated. She was younger than me, so she was still in high school when I went off to college. A year went by and she emailed me, saying her feelings for me. I wrote back a lengthy response, trying to be as polite as possible but explaining why I wasn't interested. Never heard back and I hate having to reject people, but she really left me no choice.
2. A few times, I've been approached in a club or bar by a girl who just starts dancing with me. And girl really has to go out of her way to do that because I'm kind of a wallflower. Like one time this tall beautiful blonde girl just started grinding with me out of the blue. Again, flattered but kind of shocked. And so I wasn't really reciprocating, which I guess made the situation awkward, and so the girl left. I was interested, but I was just kind of caught off guard, and grinding isn't something I normally do. But she was hot, and I was thinking to myself, "Man did I blow that?" I'm just inept and awkward, when it comes to dancing. And the thing that makes it difficult is you can't really have a conversation when the music is so loud. I mean, one time when a girl wanted to dance with me, I managed to exchange a few words and get her Facebook contact info. But then after adding her on Facebook, I never reached out because I had no idea what to say since I didn't know her. So in these situations, it's not that I don't like the girl, but I'm clueless about how to proceed.
3. There were a couple of times a girl gave me her number without me asking. In both cases, I wasn't really sure if the girl was my type, but I asked them out anyway because I was flattered. The first time this happened, I went out with the girl a few times and I actually started liking her. Unfortunately, I guess she felt differently, and so she retroactively told me that what I presumed were dates weren't actually dates, and she was just flirting with me for the hell of it. LOL, whatever. The next time a girl gave me her number unsolicited was many years later. She seemed nice at first, but after I went out with her one time I saw lots of red flags. But anyway, this girl kept taking initiative to ask me to hang out. We ended up dating for a short time, but she turned out to be a complete nightmare and it was a very toxic relationship. I eventually had to cut off contact completely, and I wished I had listened to my gut earlier.
Actually, there's a few more situations that come to mind, but I don't have any more space to write. But I think it's safe to say I'm always flattered, and try to avoid outright rejecting girls when they approach, because it happens so rarely.
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First of all, there’s been an abundance of study on this matter, and it’s highly unlikely any woman faces rejection “just like men”. Second, what i think depends entirely on the woman and the situation. If a very attractive woman i don’t know approaches me outside of my job, i check for my wallet, keys and phone. No joke. If an average or unattractive woman approaches me, there’ll probably be a conversation, unless she’s dumb. If I know her, and i don’t like her, she won’t approach because i don’t play games with people’s feelings. If i DON’T know her, how can i possibly not like her? I gotta get to know someone to form an opinion that would result in either acceptance or rejection.
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I’ve received three marriage proposals. Two were from four-year-olds. I gently tried to explain to one that four-year-olds can’t get married. She asked me when I was going to be five. (That would have been in 1969.)
The other asked me to marry her mom and be her dad.
The only proposal I’ve recieved from a grown woman was drunken total stranger and had 17 children with no repeats on the father. She said she needed a man y to o pay her bills. I let that ship sail!
I’ve also had the occasional woman in a bar ask me to buy her a drink. I find that incredibly rude and presumptuous.I had this happen to me when I was at work and don't get me wrong she was cute and nice but not my type and In my mind I didn't want to hurt her feelings because she was the sweetest girl but at the same time I didn't want to like lead her on so a little panicked xD tbh
When 'courted' by a female you find 'undesirable' the kindest thing you CAN do is to make them aware of YOUR less-desirable characteristics to break THEIR infatuation and let THEM elect to refocus their efforts~
Imagine coming onto a 'hottie' and mid-conversation, they elect to SERIOUSLY repeatedly pick their nose and teeth then wipe their fingers on their clothing!!! Ewww~Lady's perspective, here. I've been turned down gently a few times - usually because I've approached a taken or a gay guy.
The guys have seemed pretty nice. Sometimes there's a pang of pity or something, but I get that. I feel that too when I've turned down someone who shot their shot but I was taken or not ready at the time.
I just go back to normal friendly with them, and respect any boundaries they may express. Pretty tame and normal stuff, in my opinion.While I certainly love being approached, if I didn't like that girl that's quite a different story
Like you said, girls approaching is quite uncommon, so if I didn't like the girl, I feel super grateful and complacent on her approaching me but then again quite a bit sad because I don't like her hahaI'm usually flattered, as I understand how difficult it is to approach someone.
Women who have approached me are initially more subtle than when men approach women, in fact it can be difficult to at first know if she is romantically interested or not.
However it then becomes more obvious, as girls will usually follow the same behaviour patterns, such as stalking my social media, trying to bump into me at places I frequent with my friends or random text messages.I would thank you for your interest in me but respectfully decline. Just because I may not fancy you, doesn't mean I have to be disrespectful.
I'm usually indifferent. I wonder what she wants, can I trust her, do I want to run the risk, do I want her in my life in any capacity, can I use her in some way. The answer to these questions is always no, so I just feign a small amount of interest and hope she goes away. In the even that she's piqued my interest, I feign more interest to see if she'll pursue more. I imagine this is similar to most how most women approach these things.
Mhhh nothing really that just reminds me how amazing Iam. Maybe personality, looks or etc. If I don't like her I will just say it. But If I do, I will take things slowly to know. But also I will be thankful because she helped me my task of approaching her. 😂
What do you mean "don't like her"?
Like I just don't like her or I'm just not interested in her?
Because if I don't like her. I'm probably going to be civil but ambivalent towards anything she says.
On the other hand if I'm just not interested and that has already been established then I'm probably going to be thinking, "how can I reject her without hurting her feelings".I'd feel elated if any girl approaches me. But if I'm not interested or do not like her then I'd say NO very politely so that it doesn't hurt her
Women almost never approach guys so it's not really an issue.
The rare occasion it happens is taken as a big compliment.Generally I'm flattered, and will say so, but I'll mention that I'm not looking for anything right now.
There's no need to make a big thing out of it really. Just be kind.I don’t know. Honestly I wonder if I’m I’m mistaken and misinterpreting things, or if she is really just messing with me for some kind of joke. It’s difficult for me to believe it is genuine.
I dont get approached from women oftently but i would be respectful and polite to let them know i wasn't interested.
Well that happened to me some times, and all most of the girls that approached me I didn’t want them, plus I don’t think it’s something you can get use to, because you’re always wondering
I say thank you and usually say that Iam honored that a beautiful woman would show interest in me, but I am in a relationship or seeing someone or married if true
I just enjoy the conversation with her and go about my day.
I'm honored, and I make a point to treat her as gently as possible with the utmost respect!
At very first thought if a woman approaches me I just assume she either wants to borrow something or needs directions somewhere. I can't know if I like someone or not from a simple approach.
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