Do guys in the talking stage flirt a lot in sexual way?

[Anonymous]

the guy that I am talking to from the past one month is very flirty in a sexual way. He told me that he has fantasized everything already. He also keeps saying that he wants me only for himself. Is he desperate or is this the normal way guys talk to the girl they like? I have never dated anyone till now so I don't know if a lot of sexual conversation is a red flag or not

[DaveJord]

Well when I meet a girl and start talking to her and start to consider the long term possibilities.. then I start to try to get a gauge on her perspective about sex, because honestly what she thinks and feels matters to me. I don't try to be about the bush with it by making sexual innuendos, or flirty type stuff (and the things this guy has said goes beyond flirty). I think that comes off as creepy. I make sure she understands that I am looking for more than just friendship, and that I am very physically affectionate person who is looking for some one that is like minded. I belief that sex is a major component to a long lasting and healthy relationship. So if she doesn't agree with that then I would hope she would tell me. That usually gets the conversation going and we talk about it like mature adults... but I am 45 and I have been in the dating game for a long time. So there is a right way and wrong way to do it. This guys is defiantly going about it in the wrong way.

Given what you said above in the opening this guy sounds creepy and I would take that as a Red Flag!!! He has already started playing out scenarios in his mind, that obviously means he has expectations and in a way he is putting those expectations on you in a relatively immature way.

As a guy in the talking stage with a women, I usually do not get serious with any women that I feel is putting exceptions on me or the relationship prior to dating or meeting. For example if she does want to have sex until marriage, then the expectation is that if I am going to date her and be willing to wait... which I am not so that is a Red Flag deal breaker for me. Or if she requires me to make Christ a priority in my life... Red Flag deal breaker. So it sounds to me that he is putting expectations on you and communicating that in a very circumventive way without really taking your feelings, beliefs or desires into consideration. I mean if he already has it planned out or fantasizing about it then he is doing that without any real input or consideration of your feelings, thoughts or desires... so that is a HUGE RED FLAG!!!

Lastly when ever a guy says he wants you just for himself and nobody else before even dating or meeting... that is a one of the biggest RED FLAGs ever. I mean you haven't even been on a date with him how can he honestly know that at this point? It means he is definitely the jealous and possessive type, who may already be conditioning you to accept his dominate role in any future relationship... so if you progress in this relationship I would assume that he will be come more and more controlling. Every indicator at this point would lead one to think he would be, or it is at least an indicator that he might not be emotionally unstable. I mean stalkers talk in this way about their victims, they become obsessive and controlling and eventually try to isolate them from friends, family and outside influences.

I would strongly you ask you to consider everything I have said or explained here and seriously consider all the factors before continuing down this path with this particular person.

[Asker]

I have met him only once and after a few days he said this. He gave me two options as well. first option -casual relationship and the second option- serious relationship. But I am so scared to say no to him because the previous girl he liked left him for a friend of hers maybe that's the reason for him to be so possessive..

[DaveJord]

Scared to say no?

[Asker]

yeah

[DaveJord]

Ghost him.

[Guy13]

For the most part we do as a way to see where your thoughts are... if you like him kind of thing.

[Asker]

but do guys really fantasize about the girl in the talking stage

[Guy13]

Everyone is different. We are seeing if mutual crush is happening

[mandyfire98]

Depends on the guy. I've had some guys who were very open and upfront in the talking stage about discussing sexual things.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't flirt that way, no. I think it's better to leave everything light-hearted. It's sexier when you leave something unsaid.

[cootjuhh]

yeah i noticed i do myself in a worse way. totally sexual. ☺️

[Asker]

but do you do it when you want only casual relationship with her or when you are serious with her?

[cootjuhh]

both i like sexy talk

[In_Trance]

depends on the guy