Help! I’m not sure how to proceed?

[Needtoknow318]

Ah the details. This guy and I have been talking for months. We started seeing each other for *secret* rendezvous about two months ago if not longer. We always have amazing conversations (over text and in person). But we did set boundaries in the beginning—he’s not looking at the moment and has work and his kid to focus on (which I absolutely support!)

But our connection is so unbelievably good. He is supportive in a lot of things, and encouraging, and I am for him too. Like I said, we always have in depth conversations, and when I’m over, he has started to ask me to stay the night. We are intimate past the sex (which is hands down THE BEST for be ever had lol). And he always tells me how much he enjoys it. But then it feels like he pulls away. Yet also says that I’m who he’s talked the most to over the last couple years? And has asked that our nighttime fun stays monogamous?

I don’t want to push him away or lose him, even as a friend. But…I also hate feeling like I’m a hidden secret. I’m so tormented right now and have no idea how to read the situation…

please help! I’ll answer any questions to clarify

[StrongMale]

Contrary to what many women may believe, we guys are relatively simple creatures when it comes to matters of love and relationships with women. It appears from your information that he is into you. He likes you, he enjoys conversation with you, and he enjoys sex with you. To put it plainly, that means he really likes you! He just got out of a relationship, so if you sense him pulling away a tiny bit, I think that’s completely normal. He probably just doesn’t want to rush in to another relationship too quickly. Don’t overthink it. It seems to me that all is well. Let it be and let things unfold naturally. ❤️☺️

[Needtoknow318]

Thank you, that really does help a lot. I guess I just get in my head about it, especially when I don’t hear from him for a bit. And I guess I do have to be honest and say that neither of us should get into another relationship atm. Even if that’s what I want with him haha. So thank you again 😌

[StrongMale]

Absolutely. Always glad to help when I can. ☺️ I know that sometimes we guys can be a bit puzzling! I would encourage you to just enjoy things with him as they are and see how things go. I wish you the very best!

[Needtoknow318]

I will definitely do that, thank you so much 😊😁

[Gent207]

So if he's a rebound for you? (No hate) - What are you to him?

He has a kid? So are you escape from his baby momma drama or is mom out of the picture?

The old Societal standards I knew say an old relationship is dead after a week of silence (preferably a month). But since you are over 20 who cares what people might say? But the vibe I'm getting from your man as you described it sounds like he gas his own reasons for keeping you a secret. Family perhaps?

[Needtoknow318]

I guess I never viewed him as a rebound…I certainly don’t want him in that category:/ and I guess I’m not sure what I am to him exactly, all I know is that we both benefit from talking and seeing each other and the “after care”

And he’s forced to deal with her unfortunately but he’s rather not. And it’s only for the summer time as they bring the kid back and forth

And I guess that could be true…if my ex found out it would cause a lot of unnecessary drama since they have to see each other weekly (job stuff)

[Gent207]

@Needtoknow318
You are having a fling with your ex's coworker? You naughty girl lol
There is no way that's not going to cause a mess. But you should ask him what are you to him?

[Needtoknow318]

Not exactly his coworker haha hard to explain without giving specific details. And yeah…I know it would cause a mess and that’s so beyond frustrating.

And I know I should just ask, but what if that just pushes him away?

[Gent207]

@Needtoknow318
Then you must accept your current state of being an unknown

[Guy13]

Lots of guys... when they feel themselves getting too close or connected... we back off. It is obvious that he likes you much. Try to be patient. He appears to be dedicated to you.

[spartan55]

Secret from whom?

[Needtoknow318]

My relationship that was ending at the time…he was my only solace through out the ordeal (I had already decided to leave, he had no influence on that end) *not trying to excuse this…I feel like sh*t about that part

[spartan55]

So is your previous relationship over?

[Needtoknow318]

Yes it is

[spartan55]

Okay, is he in one?

[Needtoknow318]

No he’s not, but his fiancé did leave him around last December ish

[spartan55]

Sounds like rebound city.

[Needtoknow318]

Perhaps a bit, but it’s not just simply sex and leave