Is it a red flag if a guy you’ve been speaking to online doesn’t remember what you talked about over the phone?

[Anonymous]

Let this guy 2 years ago on GAG. Have only managed to talk twice over the phone. The last time was 3 months ago, is it a red flag if this guy claims to be fond of me, to the point of liking me and can’t remember what we spoke about? I’m actually quite hurt.

Updates

1 y

Met* this guy 2 years ago on GAG

[TheMajesticKing777]

Things cross the mind everyday, you can't expect him to remember everything, remind him of it, if he doesn't remember then that is the red flag you are seeking for

[Asker]

I did. I spoke about how he got embarrassed over the phone when he brought the same topic up today over text. He couldn’t remember, I then talked about how we got into that topic and what’s we spoke about before, nothing. He doesn’t remember.

Like I said we’ve only spoken on the phone twice, the whole time we’ve known each other (2 years). I know he isn’t speaking to any other girls either. This really hurt.

[Asker]

He has been on and off on whether or not he wants to give us a go. I guess he wasn’t interested during our last convo but recently things have been really good again and he’s considering meeting me properly.

So this realisation that he can’t remember our convos has really upset me. I’m not as significant as I thought I was, even if I knew he didn’t like me back then

[TheMajesticKing777]

Don't take it personal, some people just don't have a good memory, maybe he was drunk or high or maybe he is just very stressed and forgot, unless the topic was extremely important I don't see why you should be hurt about it

[Asker]

Well we have a romantic history. He isn’t closer to anyone else the way he is to me, even if most of our convos have been in text and occasionally voice notes.

You’d think you would remember the rare times you had an actual real convo with someone,
Especially if it’s only happened twice.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well unless he socializes a lot, It would be one of the only logical reasons on why he would forget, either that or short term memory loss or something in that route, either that or he is lying and he does remember

[Asker]

He doesn’t socialise a lot, and I know he want drunk or high either. He does remember we had a phone call but not what we talked about, he says all he remembers was trying to come up with things to talk about so I’m not uncomfortable or bored. I don't know, I feel like you would remember things that are associated with someone important to you, especially if they are rare. All in all, I might consider it a red flag because he clearly doesn’t care

[Asker]

wasn't* drunk or high*

[TheMajesticKing777]

And how do you know he doesn't socialize? Cause he told you? You said the last time y'all talked on the phone was 3 months ago, it's not like you can be certain of what he does unless you hack into his device, socialize media's count as socializing, my point is that in 3 months he could've had many conversations with other people so when you ask him 3 months later what y'all spoke about how will he remember the exact conversation, unless somehow you can remember the conversation you had with someone else within a 3 month period, it would also be hard to remember if y'all have new conversations everyday

[Asker]

I know. He usually tells me if he’s been on tinder and what not. We keep in touch throughout the day and talk about what’s been on our mind recently. Sure I don’t know everything unless he tells me but he hasn’t been socialising with other girls.

My point is we might text a lot but only had a real phone call, speaking to each other in real time twice. The first one was only 15 minutes and we didn’t talk much compared to the last one which was about an hour long. What, he can’t remember one thing we spoke about? When we hardly get to talk like that on a regular basis. There’s no way it was that he just forgot unless he actually doesn’t give a crap

[TheMajesticKing777]

Whatever the reason may be I don't think he even knows the reason, people forget stuff and we don't really get to choose what we forget unfortunately

[Asker]

So if you really liked this girl, it’s possible you would forget everything you spoke about on the phone?

[TheMajesticKing777]

The chances of it are high yes cause my mind is pretty fucked up and I forget things a lot, depends if it's a forgetful conversation of course, point is that it doesn't mean he cares about you any less if he forgot something

[TheMajesticKing777]

It depends what the conversation is tho obviously

[Asker]

It wasn’t an important conversation. Just Spider-Man, cartoons and then I somehow started teasing him about Hentai and he got embarrassed. That was it. We talked about a lot of things in that hour long conversation though, it’s just I did expect him to remember something. Like, it’s a big deal when we get to call each other. I’ll try to move past it, I’m probably being silly

[TheMajesticKing777]

Yep or he doesn't want to remember, no one wants to be reminded of them being teased for watching hentai lol

[Anonymous]

No. Just an ordinary guy’s behaviour. I do that too when a lot of things have been running through my mind too.

[Asker]

Yeah but what if it was someone you liked and never got to talk much with? I’m sure you would remember what you talked about if it was someone you valued.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, but men are wired differently to women.